Well.... in about 17 hours (as I write this) we should be hitting the road to drive up to New Jersey for Christmas and New Year's.
Yes... I AM writing this at about 9:50am, and we ARE leaving at 3am... or at least going to try like hell to do so.
Anyways... the bottom line is that we are going to be out of here. soon. which means ultimately that I should be packing and sorting and wrapping and everything associated with the frenzy of seeing family at Christmas... but my resolution for procrastination doesn't REALLY have to kick in for another 10 days or so.
So instead of packing etc.... I was reading my posts from last december... I wistfully find it funny how the person who wrote those posts last year seems SOMEWHAT familiar to me... but definitely not who I am now. like a distant cousin or something.
But that's good. It's be a long year, and a lot has happened. I SHOULDN'T be the same person.
The biggest change over these past 12 months is, of course, that we sold our house and moved across the country with a 4 month old. Spending two months without my husband definitely sucked, but I was fortunate enough to be WITH my parents during that time. I may not have shown my appreciation well at the time... and I may not even have KNOWN how much I would appreciate being with them at the time... but months 4-5 of Rhena's life were lonely and hormonal. My parents helped me keep my shit together. and THAT, people.... you can't even put a price tag on that.
By the beginning of March, Rhena and I were reunited with Troy in our new home in North Carolina. Around this time, I became aware of how heavily I depended on the virtual friendships I had made through my babycenter girls and my blog friends. I knew NO ONE in North Carolina... and it sucked. I was angry, feeling alone, and very trapped inside this huge house we had just bought. Plus it was raining like ALL the fucking time, and that just sucked balls, too. I honestly can not imagine how I would have gotten through those times without the internet. Often it was my only connection to life, and the support I so generously received from friends and strangers alike is unsurpassed. Once again, I'm not sure I fully appreciated the support I was getting at the time, but now, as I look back.. I realize and appreciate all of you..... my blog readers, my e-mail friends, and my November Newbies. You kept me alive.... you really did.
But, like the seasons, the grey lifted to bring way for a new time in my life. I began to meet people ( IN REAL LIFE!!! A REAL LIVE PERSON TO TALK TO!!!!!) and I started getting out of the house more. I explored my new city of Charlotte, did a lot of traveling, and started falling in love again. No... nothing juicy like the mailman or anything... just simple shit like LIFE. Things started getting good again.
And so it goes.
So here I am... now approximately 16 1/2 hours from time of departure, and I couldn't be happier. sure... there's shit to do, things to pack, errands to run, yabbitty blah blah... you know... STUFF.
But as a whole... things ARE GOOD. I have friends now. (in real life!!! IN MY TOWN!!! ON MY STREET EVEN!!!!!!) Our house has already become a HOME, and I can not go into any room without some vision of Rhena or memory of a friend or relative who has come to visit. Like I said... things are GOOD.
And now... like I said... we prepare to go to New Jersey. Kind of full circle, if you will... considering that the last time the Czernikowski crew was all together was back in January... right before Troy left for North Carolina. Back then we were so unsure of our future. No clue how long we would be apart... no idea where we would be living... (insert cartoony-sounding character saying "uhhhh, which WAY do we go??? which way should we go???") just holding tight to our faith in each other and God that things would work out fine.
and they did. over and over again. SO only fitting... we go home now in celebration. We go home to celebrate with FAMILY, and to honor FAITH. We'll pay tribute to NEW BEGINNINGS, and we'll respect OLD TRADITIONS. We'll THANK our families and friends for all they have done for us this past year, and we'll WISH THEM all the best for this coming year.
And like last January... I DON'T know what the future will hold. I'm sure that 2006 will bring more challenges and more triumphs. I imagine there'll be times of sadness, and times to rejoice. Friends and family will pass away, and we will welcome new lives with open hearts.
I DO KNOW, however, that I will continue to hold tight to the faith I have in my family and God, and things.... no matter what may come.... will continue to work out fine.
From all of us here at the Fever, to all of you, my dear readers.... have a very Merry Christmas.(or a Joyous Hanukkah, or whatever you choose to celebrate in these coming weeks)
May the new year bring you health, happiness, and a renewed sense of faith in all things good.