Thursday, September 08, 2005

A Tale of Two Titties

This is a public service announcement brought to you by The Hams....


Dear Blog-Land....


Hi! We're the Hams! We decided to take over Carrie's blog for the time being, because we've already consumed her entire day and thought one more thing would be fun.


So we're getting bigger, you know??? Carrie thinks that if she ignores us that we'll just go away, but we have news for her and you... WE'RE NOT. That's right.... we're actually FEEDING off her ignorance. We're getting bigger, STRONGER... and solid as ROCKS!!!!

We think her daughter Rhena misses us, so we're causing Carrie PAIN. big, constant, hit-a-bruise-with-a-baseball-bat PAIN. That'll teach her for trying to make us go away!!!

But that's not enough, see.... we're refusing to fit into ANY of her bras!!!! during the day, all of her bras a re TOO SMALL!!! that's right... even those 34DD tents she bought from Victoria's Secret.... nope. TOO SMALL!!! She thought she could outsmart us by moving up a band-size to a 36DD..... but those bras look even funnier, cause it rides up her back and doesn't sit flush to her rib cage!!! they're so big in the band and small in the cup... she looks like an absolute CLOWN!


SO anyways... we're here, and we're not going away. Carrie thinks she can slowly get rid of us by easing into the whole wean thing... but we're slick to her game. We're going to make her feel like she went cold turkey!!!


We have a few more tricks up our sleeves... wait... we don't have sleeves. well... let's just say there's more in the bag for Carrie.... we're just not telling what we're gonna do yet.

So stay tuned..... we have only just begun the fight!

Sincerely...

The Hams

15 comments:

greekchickie said...

hahaha!!!

Your girls rock!
M~

Susie said...

My right boob salutes the Ham in solidarity. Ow.

Liza said...

the hams have killed me. i am officially dead.

Kelli said...

OMG Carrie. Tale of Two Titties. I nearly fell out of my chair.

Suz, you cracked me up too.

Christi said...

Oh man, earlier on another blog I said I wish I'd nursed. Now, I think I'm glad I didn't!

CheekyMoo said...

From dried up breasts to bitchy ones, you will be defeated. It hurts but it will go away Carrie.

Now, for my crazy advice you may or may not follow, when they start drying up put cabbage in your bra. Sounds weird, but it works.

Plus if Troy pisses you off you can serve him some ham salad later and sit there with the smile of a woman that knows what he's eating. Troy don't be reading my comments!

Laina said...

I second the cabbage, I heard it really helps. Also, this sounds crazy, but my friend said you can wet and chill disposable diapers and they actually work like those nice flexible ice-packs they give you at the doctor. Good luck!

Marie said...

LOL!! That's hilarious. Go hams! ;)

ZuphChic said...

Love the new look of the blog!!

gina said...

yikes weaning hurts like a MOFO!! you can do it though...

Jewl said...

Awww, Poor Hams... I hope they are doing better soon!

Mr. Apropos said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mr. Apropos said...

Dear Ms & Ms Ham,

Much luck in your fight again the (Wo)Man. Good luck with the next growth spurt and, don't let her get you down.

/me hums a few bars of "we shall overcome"...

<grin>

ThoughtsGalore said...

Boobies Boobies Everywhere!

We're just sooooo needing a little lightening these days.

Thinking of you sweetie.
XOXO
C

john boy said...

Just came by to say hi to the "hams".