Movin' and Groovin'

wow. is it mid MAY already???

Things have been really trucking along in these parts... My Stepford business is slowly and steadily getting orders here and there... and I'm FINALLY finishing up my homework so Troy can eventually do all the coding to implement the design changes we've come up with these past few months.

Rhena's recital is coming up... she's very excited about it... and I am no longer a crazy stress bucket about the idea of having to put some make-up on her face. I still don't LIKE it.. but after last year, I know my baby isn't going to look like a southern whore, so I've come to some form of peaceful acceptance.

Next week is also the last week of preschool, and while I'm still a teeny bit bitter than Rhena will not be allowed to move on to Kindergarten (thank you state of North Carolina and your asinine new law that changed the cutoff date for age requirements)...I am VERY happy that Kidoodle Kreations came through for me again for the end-of-the-year teacher Thank you gifts.

Not sure if you remember, but last year, I had Kidoodle Kreations make some notecards from a project Rhena had done in school. This year, they turned another one of Rhena's projects (with a little digital editing of mine to add a quote about teachers) into some note cards, and they arrived today. YAY!

I totally recommend their services if you're looking for a cool personalized gift. and Carrie, the owner, is a real person... with a cool name to boot! Seriously, though. I've been happy both times, and will continue to give her business cause I think she's got a quality product and service going.

so that's that. My folks come down next wednesday to take part in the recital festivities... so yay for that. and yay for fresh faces in this house cause I'm getting a LITTLE worn out of Danny being up in mine. but that's another story involving tantrums and explosive diapers, and well... just another story. trust me.

speaking of tantrums... time for me to supervise the lunching of the kids and get them down for some naps. If I don't get some laundry done today during nap time, Troy's bound to have an epic tantrum . or the piles in the closet will take life and attack us. either way, I'm thinking it ain't gonna be pretty.

have a good weekend, gang.

I believe in Angels

so some random thoughts have gone through my brain this past week.


first off... I took Rhena and two of her friends to see the Charlotte Symphony's production of Cinderella this past weekend. that act alone brought up MANY thoughts.... one of which I am so happy to be done with two children. seriously.

fitting 3 car seats/boosters in the back of my car awakened the engineer in me, and being in a parking garage woke the acoustics specialists in Rhena and her two friends. holy good CRAP I had no idea three girls could be so loud. I mean.. WOW.

I learned that not all Cinderellas are created equal. period. and while I may have understood this notion starting several years ago when I would see different kids around the neighborhood dressed UP as Cinderella... (let's face it.. some girls need more than a fairy godmother to pull off the old Cinderelly getup) seeing my daughter see a production of the story done by a handful of actors and several puppets... well.. it's obvious that Cinderella can be different.

But this is good. I like knowing my child can be happy without a disney label slapped all over the place. the essence of the story clearly came through, and I did see the far-off-I-love-this-story-and-I-just-KNOW-some-day-my-dreams-will-come-true look in Rhena's eyes. That's magic. LOVE that magic.

What else. we met an usher named Rena. how cool is that? the woman was about equally gobsmacked when she heard me call to Rhena.... so much that she stopped me to ask if I just called her what she thought I called her. I would have loved to chat with her more.. but me and three girls ages 4-6 does not permit for much idle chat.

Oh.. here's one for you. the 6 year old of the group.. my neighbor's daughter??? she knows ABBA lyrics better than I do. and 'm not talking just that dumb assed Dancing Queen cause her momma forces her to listen to 80's crap music. I mean... there she was.... telling me to put on track 16 and 18 and specifically requesting "I had a Dream." I was impressed. like REALLY impressed. she'll get invited again, no doubt about that.

I'm taking the kids to the dentist today. Moosey's first visit. stress stress stress... I'm sure he'll do fine. we'll see.


I've been baking this week. like a LOT. I like baking.


alright. time to get my motor running. lots to do!

Thank You Momma GT

ok... no secret I'm in a blogging funk lately.

Thanks to Momma Ginger Tree for tagging me. more thanks for it being easy. The rules are to choose the sixth photo from your sixth album and post it along with a description or the story behind it. There's no rule saying I have to tag anyone else.. so even better.

I went on to shutterfly, and my sixth album happens to be the birth of Rhena. The sixth picture is one of me laying in the hospital bed.. moments after another voracious puke session. I'm gonna spare you that picture, cause really? do we NEED to see me big and pasty? didn't think so.

So since I'm bucking the rules, I'll endow myself with bad luck and pick picture #13.

This is the very first moment I saw Rhena. September 17, 2004. She was eight days late, and after being in the hospital with contractions for about 18 hours... her heartbeat kept dropping. Despite the 12+hours of pitocen, my dilation hadn't progressed past 6cm . and did I mention we were told the baby's heartbeat was getting weaker?

We went with the C-section, and had an amazing nurse in the OR who took these pictures for us. I can't remember his name, but to have this picture? it's been a wonderful gift.

See her arm hanging down? she was reaching towards me. I didn't get to physically hold her until about an hour later.. but that moment she reached out was the instant she grabbed my heart.

She just turned four last month, and to this day... when she looks at me a certain way or reaches out helplessly yet purposely? I'm right back there in the operating room in Reno... unable to move yet soaring in space; just from her love alone.

The Little Engine that Could

Dear Stepford Parents -

please stop. I'm not kidding. the parties are KILLING me. A couple of weeks ago, I took rhena to a birthday party at a house that made Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion look like a double-wide trailer. I shit you not... the POOL house alone was bigger than my backyard. Let's not mention the LOT that was sectioned off for the industrial PARK-sized play area, or the other lot they had for a volleyball court.

when my folks were here, we had yet another birthday to attend. This one was a Thomas theme, and for a little boy turning two on my street. Since it was at a house on my street, I knew I wouldn't have to feel TOO ghetto for gawking at everything I saw.

however.

They rented a little blue train. yeah.

so we all got on the train and it choo-chooed around the neighborhood. To say my kids were excited would be an understatement. To say that every child we passed on the street was JEALOUS would be an understatement. SO happy Danny still wears diapers, as he was squealing so much, I have no doubt he was pissing himself from excitement the whole time.

As for Rhena... the girl who had JUST had her nose cauterized and was STILL milking my guilt for having her go through the ordeal... well... she seemed to be able to rise above the pain for long enough to enjoy the train.

So while I am INDEED happy at how much my kids enjoyed attending these parties.. I'm STILL putting the plea out there for this kind of shit to stop. all I have are cookies, and the occasional cute invitation. kids are gonna be a tad disappointed when it comes to a Johnson party.

I jest. I love the parties, and I'm totally fine with what we do for our kids. I'm totally not gonna get into that whole 'keeping up with stepford' mentality. I mean.. if worse comes to worse... I MIGHT start putting REALLY LOUD toys and SUGARY CANDY in the favor bags.... but that's all.

party on!

No place like Home

so here in the south... it's hot as balls out.

no, really... I logged on to weather channel and I could SWEAR that the reported temp was 5 degrees higher than the expected high for the day, and that was before they factored in the humidity index.

I firmly believe that if I had one of those thermometers outside of my window that it would be giving me the middle finger, telling me to get back inside and don't come back out until at LEAST september. maybe october.

ok.. I lie. before 10am, and after 8pm, the temps cool down to low eighties.. MAYBE in the 70's if there's a cold front moving through. but even then.. the air is... as snoopy gingerly called it... MOIST. (that's for you, Katy!)

anyways.. I'm sure everyone else is having their share of dog days this summer. my point is that we have been spending a LOT of time indoors. the library, the book store, the food store... every errand has become a major attraction, just as long as it's inside and there's snacks involved.

we've been doing a LOT of dance parties. Rhena's passion for dancing and all-things ballerina has only gotten STRONGER over the summer. At any given time, you can usually find her in SOME fashion of leotard, tights, tutus, slippers or shoes.

Not one to squelch creativity.. I just roll with it.

Speaking of rolling.. I TOTALLY need to get cracking on rhena's birthday plans. it might be an age thing, cause Suser was talking about this yesterday... but holy good gravy.. Rhena has changed her mind AT LEAST a gagillion times about her party theme. Top runners have been princess, wizard of oz, a 'dark' party (hang on.. I'll get to that in a second) and most recently.. a pink poodle party.

The dark party was an interesting one. she came up to me one day and the conversation went like this:

Rhena: "momma... I want a dark party for my birfday. Say 'rhena? what's a dark party'"

Me: "rhena.. what's a dark party?

Rhena: it's a party in the dark, silly! momma.. say "Rhena.. how will we see the cake if it's a dark party?"

Me: Rhena.. how will we see the cake if it's dark?

Rhena: No, momma.. say dark PARTY. say 'how will we see the cake if it's a dark PARTY.'

Me: *sigh* Rhena. how will we see the cake if it's a dark PARTY?

Rhena: With Glowsticks, silly! really, momma.. you are just so silly! we can't see a cake in the dark, so we need glowsticks! lots and lots of glowsticks, ok? so I want a dark party for my birfday, ok?

did I mention it's been a long summer?

Anyway.. she has until today to figure out what exactly she wants as her party. as of breakfast, she was leaning towards the Pink Poodles ("but maybe a black spot doggie for the boys, momma")

we have a few errands to run... so who knows where the wind may blow her thoughts today. oh wait. there's no wind. just the stillness of hot, humid death outside. anyways. what I mean to say is who knows what might happen today. we could be talking dolphins before the day is through.

keep it cool, gang.

Open Letter

To the woman with the two daughters at Harris Teeter today?

THANK YOU. Thank you for teaching your daughters to be KIND to little girls who like to dress themselves because they truly believe they are ballerina princesses. Even when that self-proclaimed famous ballerina princess outfit means a turquoise dress, orange socks, pink glittery shoes and a pointy fair-maiden hat.

Your daughters smiling at Rhena and telling her she's "a beautiful princess indeed" was heartwarming and kind. I hope to teach my children to be as encouraging to others as they get older.

_______________


and to the OTHER woman with two daughters at Harris Teeter today?

SHAME ON YOU. watching your girls huddle, whisper,and POINT at a child younger than them sends a message of endorsement. Perhaps if YOU smiled more and taught your children some manners you wouldn't have to tell your girls to stop touching the food on display in the salad bar, and you would have to maybe threaten to 'straighten them out' one or two less times a day.


Now perhaps I'm just as bad judging you anonymously online... so for that I'll stop now... but the pointing?? NOT NICE.

oh and by the way? I hope that the turkey you insisted to the deli clerk be MUCH THINNER gives you GAS, bitch! BIG, stinky GAS!!!!

Memorable Day

First and foremost.. Happy Memorial Day. "Lest We Forget"





ok. that being said....





Yesterday, Boogie had her first recital. I was indeed VERY proud of her. not necessarily cause she was THAT GOOD or anything... but I just was. you see... after I gave her one last kiss and left her with the backstage crew, I joined Troy and my folks at our seats in the theater.





Looking around at the number of seats, the size of the stage, and the people that started filtering in, I couldn't help but swell with pride that our baby girl.. the very same one who used to CRY when someone looked at her.... was going to be up on that stage in front of all these people. She was flying solo.





ok, not necessarily solo, as she was with her class and there were about 100 other little girls dancing in the production that day.. but still. I got choked up, and indeed a tear might have snuck out.





The show itself was impressive. I mean.. it was still a dance recital, and while I never have been to one, it had a fair share of the things I expected. little girls out of step... geeky, awkward girls developing and not quite suited to their costumes.... and a share of girls that certainly looked like they did NOT want to be there.



but it also had girls that were doing things I can only just IMAGINE Rhena doing someday. And while I'm not sure if it's cause we're in a new season of "So you Think You can Dance" or what.. but I was truly impressed with the talent some of these girls had. Two dances are still in my head; a contemporary style for the flying monkeys and the hurricane where the girls were up on their toes for pretty much the whole routine. yes, I'm a complete novice.. but I was fantastically impressed by those two routines.





The storyline remained true to the Wizard of Oz... but the director certainly did a great job of mixing in pop songs to enhance the 'story'. George Thoroughgood's "Bad to the Bone" really made a wicked witch solo, as well as Michael Jackson's "Bad" for another witch scene. Dorothy had a solo to Flock of Seagull's "I Ran"... and of course there were many others throughout the show.





Again. I was impressed. As for Rhena.. I laughed my ass off. while she wasn't alone in being "That Kid".... she definitely stood out at points. especially when it was time for their exit. yes. my child made sure she took her time leaving the stage. the more people clapped, the slower she walked. it was like she was thinking "OH? really? yeah? for Me??? oh, well, ok.. go ahead.. yes.. thank you. oh? a little more? ok.. well.. I'll really be going now.. but more clapping? oh, ok... but I must be going? oh.. still? ok.. just this one last look... oh yes, well ok, thank you.. BYE!"





As for the dancing class itself... now that all is said and done... I'm glad we chose that studio. SURE, it's a little over the top with its rules and expectations... and the hall moms... bleh. again.. they're quite the characters... and I imagine that each year and each class will have a whole new predictable set of them. and I, in turn.. will continue to roll my eyes and scoff at them on the internet.



But the point of rhena taking dance classes is that she could learn about dance, and I truly feel that this studio respects the craft of dance and the work and dedication it takes to be GOOD at it. and while I'm good when it comes to shaking a booty... I couldn't possibly give her the dance education that the studio can and will, should she decide she wants to stick with it.



and listen. don't tell anyone... but after yesterday... I honestly wouldn't mind one bit if she wanted to stick with dance.





you know.. after she learns how to play hockey, of course.






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On with the show!

today was rhena's dress rehearsal for her BIG DEBUT as a dancer in the recital tomorrow. The studio is doing a production of the wizard of oz.


and when I say production, I mean production.


holy tutus, batman... these people mean business!!! between all the informal and formal rehearsals, the 3-tiered ticket purchasing system... the fees for everything under the sun... well.. let's just say I feel like I've gone through some mini-boot camp.

they have broken me.

from making sure that rhena has been at the studio DRESSED AND READY!!! 10 minutes prior to the start of class, to the very dark place of putting makeup on her face... and many many other little idiosyncrasies in between.... I have bent over and taken it all.


on ONE hand.. I find the entire social system of this dance studio utterly ridiculous and wonder why/how exactly I got in this mix, and many times have laughed at the 'hall moms' that speak of cheer camp and gymnastics interfering with the dance workshop and who else will be taking riding lessons this summer? for their THREE AND FOUR YEAR OLDS.

say it with me, people.... GAG!!!

I also find the regimented structure of the studio to be a bit extreme.. even though that's the type of environment that Rhena thrives in. (hence... why we signed her up there in the first place.)

I mean.. seriously. this is a dance class for 3 year olds!!!


half the time I feel most of the girls are there for their parents, and not themselves. ok.. half the time I KNOW this, cause at least one kid every week is kicking and screaming how they don't want to go in the class. right outside the class' door. yeeesh. talk about a morale booster.

all is not bad, though. like when I get a hand-written thank you note from one of the lead dancers in this year's show thanking me for making a donation.... i see that sometimes running a disciplined studio produces students who are disciplined and respectful of their craft. and appreciative of all the elements it takes to make the wheel go round.

ok, maybe not.. maybe the studio told them they HAD to write the notes.. but that's a lesson I as a parent like knowing that a dance studio teaches.


and Rhena has been SO EXCITED. today she just kept FANKING me profusely for letting her be a dancer. ("oh FANK you, mommy... I am just so happy you wet me dance, momma! cause you know I really WUV when I can dance. and did you see my pretty dance costume? I am just SO HAPPY and pretty in my dance outfit! ")


clearly, some switching of genes happened.. cause if she were MY kid.. she'd be wanting to play hockey. but whatever. kid's happy. so we forge ahead. so yes.. we HAVE and we're GOING TO jump through the studio-imposed hoops cause it's THAT important to Rhena. like not being able to bring danny with us because no one under the age of three is permitted in the performance hall for the recital. hmmmm.


of COURSE, this morning took a bad turn when troy told me that our babysitter (whom we secured a MONTH AGO) decided that they would go play GOLF on sunday.. but not to worry cause they're pretty sure they can be done and back on time to sit.

CLEARLY, this man does not have a daughter in dance class, as if he DID.. he would understand how tomorrow is just only rhena's MOST IMPORTANT DAY TO BE A DANCER and how her grandparents drove from new jersey to see her on her day that she has been talking about since FEBRUARY... and how *I* have run around like a crazy woman trying to make this class happen for rhena every week (well, ok, except that one time.. but I already felt like shit for that) and by golly, we're GONNA go and pay our money just to see rhena stand on stage for the 2 minutes that she does, probably not even following the routine?????


cause it brings her THAT much joy. clearly he did not understand that.. cause if he did.. he would not have blatantly over scheduled himself for something he agreed to do a month ago.

*sigh*


all is well now, though. granted, this whole day has been spent calling people trying to get phone numbers of babysitters... and perhaps a few curse words here and there. But yes.. we finally were able to get one.

so now, in addition to the assfuls of money we've spent on tuition, fees, tickets, fundraisers, dance gear, dvd of the performance and portrait packages... we've got to shell out for a sitter, too.

oh well. The good news is that now we get a test run of a babysitter (read.. future date night for me and troy??) I have successfully mastered the 'tight bun' hairstyle using only bobbypins, ANNNND I was able to scale back the facial makeup to a simple bronzer powder and tinted lip gloss. no Joan Benet Ramsey here, people!! no sirree!!

so anyways.... the show goes on. first sitter is on my shitlist for a while.. but the show.. it shall go on.

sophmore

so today was Rhena's last day of her first year of preschool.

she? excited.


Me? emotional.


for all its moments of busy and idle (idol?)... may has gone by quickly. I mean.. here we are, and it's almost memorial day. on the back ass of the month, I'm looking back and seeing a new deck, new furniture, an upcoming road trip, a new website in the works, and well.. just STUFF.


This week seems to have been the culmination of BUSY.. because as I said.. today was Rhena's last day of school, and with the exception of the recital this weekend.. the last day of dance class.

Ever the 'good student', we have been signing cards and wrapping appreciation gifts. As I wrote the notes to Rhena's preschool teachers, I became very emotional. I mean.. how could I express the gratitude and respect I had for these women who have been in charge of Rhena for 6 hours a week for the past 9 months?

I know on many levels, I will ALWAYS hold teachers in a high regard. my mother taught for 100 years, and knowing how much of her SOUL she gave her 'kids' each year... I can't help but hold a special place for teachers. even the ones that might just be going through the motions. Teaching is HARD. and what INFLUENCE they have on our society's children... I can't do anything but want to give them positive encouragement to keep their drive going.

but then again.. I wonder if it's the 'first child' syndrome. my BABY just finished her first year of schooling. ok.. PREschooling. but still. as a parent who changed my life and made sacrifices to stay at home to raise my children... it's a pretty big step to sit back and let someone else drive for a while... even if just 6 hours a week. I imagine it's something similar to a parent going back to work and leaving their child with someone else. granted, I could be wrong, but in my mind... in either situation... that's HUGE.

to put trust in someone to mold your child... well.. it's significant. especially the first real time you do it.


so yeah.. I KNOW that has something to do with it. and between that and the basic appreciation I have as being my mother's daughter... we've been all about the teacher-love this week. (and other various times earlier in the year, too.. should that not be obvious.) just this week is the big guns.

On one level.. this process has been very validating. like.. "I DO care!" and "I *AM* a real parent!" To understand that I am appreciative of rhena's teachers is like understanding that I DO parent her even when I'm not around. I AM concerned as to how she spends her time. and, of course.. how people perceive HER when I'm not around to remind her to stop picking her nose. I mean.. sure.. I knew that... but again... first time in the big leagues here, gang. I'm just saying.

I really do hope this is not the only time I will feel this way. I mean.. this emotional shit is EXHAUSTING... so that bit sucks. really.. headache from the crying. BLAH!


I guess what I mean to say is... I hope I will ALWAYS.. no matter what grade, what activity, what age or situation... I hope I will always be mindful, respectful and appreciative of the people in this world that influence my children. and that I feel the same level of earnest appreciation come the days when the Moo Moo goes to school.

I'd like to think that I will be. in the past year alone I've had a few moments of clarity that have helped me to be more selective of with whom and on what I spend my time, and allow to expose my children to. But I'd also like to think I can get through a week without cursing or getting frustrated about SOMETHING or other. There's some saying I could probably use here to illustrate.. something about shitting in one hand and wishing in the other and seeing which fills up faster, but I don't even know what the hell that really means right now... so I'll leave y'all to just figure that out on your own.


anyways. we did it. we had help.. but I'm happy to say that we survived Rhena's first year of school. I'll save my academy thanking speech for the preschool graduation next year... but I will for sure take the time to say yay. bring on summer.


today was a good day.


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We're still here

been a busy past few days here at the Apollo.

in case you're wondering what exactly we DO all day when we're not out running errands or baking cookies.


well, I suppose it's more correct to say that this is an example of what we do AFTER we make cookies. (to get you caught up.. rhena and the floor got COVERED in flour, so I had the broom out to sweep, and had taken rhena's clothes off to shake them out. when I came back in to the house... this is what I saw.)





just another typical day, right? what have YOU been up to?


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Of Straw and Berries

yesterday I took the kids to a pick-your-own farm. It's peak strawberry season here in NC, so like we've done for the past 3 years.. we went and got ourselves some.

In terms of straw... the farm STILL maintains their petting zoo. I still maintain my utter disgust for the smell of animals. I *AM* happy to report that Rhena did not like the animal smell, either. love those little moments where she shows that she truly DID come from me. my next mission is to get her to have an extreme distaste for camping. but I have a feeling just a few years in girl scout oughta do just fine for making THAT apparent. Danny might be taking after troy, though. he seemed to LIKE the animals.

I was a little nervous having both kids with me, but I have to say they did great. Rhena was eager to tell everyone she encountered that it was important not to pick the green ones. only the RED ones.

danny pleased himself by carrying a basket the whole time. I would pick, hand it to him, and he would take care of the rest. That moo-moo. he's gonna be a good boy.

eventually I'll get my act together and share the pictures I've been taking on these excursions... but I've been distracted with other stuff. like how many ways to serve strawberries.

anyways.. it's just about bedtime here at the apollo, so I'll leave this at that and catch you another time. perhaps tomorrow I'll be able to post from our newly extended and composite re-finished deck.

a girl can hope.

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Little Finger

ok.. so much for my blogging break.. seems like whenever I actually acknowledge that I'm not blogging is when I have the urge to post.

oh well. and so is my life.



so today.. we had to take a trip up to the lumber yard.. for one, to take a look at the composite samples for our deck re-do we're planning. two.. to pay for the materials.


so yeah, no biggie. just another errand. of COURSE this means that I must have the kids in tow with me, so I tried, like I usually do.. to make this errand THE. MOST. EXCITING. THING. EVER!!!!!


by the time we left the house, Rhena was frothing a little at the idea of going to a LUMBER YARD!!! She told me no less than five times that she's never been to a bumber nard and she hopes she doesn't get wet. cause if she gets wet then she'll have to change her clothes and did we bring extra clothes momma?


This lumber yard, like many other businesses in the south, was a smaller, local distributor. well, not SMALL-SMALL... but not big-box like home depot or lowes. Small and Local in the south means old men work there. or old ladies, depending on the case, I suppose.


well, from the minute we rolled up, a certain gentleman named John was taken with Rhena. could be that she said "well, HELLO sir.. I'm BERRY happy to be here at your bumber nard." (Lumber Yard, Rhena.. Lumber Yard.) "oh yeah, sorry. wumber yard. It's BERRY nice here. can we go in??"

I kid you not, John introduced us to everyone that worked there. we got to see forklifts. we saw their storage racks. we saw every office within the main building. John was certainly pleased with his new friends and guests, and at one point he even had rhena telling each new worker how she spells her name. "Get a load of that, Frank? she can spell her name! I bet she might be smarter than you, Frank! Yeah, You're a smart girl, Rhena, yes you are!"


Rhena left the business with four pencils, two note pads, some candy and some new friends.

*I* left the place paying 5% less than my contractor told me I would, and a promise that they wouldn't deposit my check until I receive the materials on site next thursday.

sometimes.... it's good to be me.



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Bunch of ANIMALS, I tell ya!

so as promised.. here are a few pictures from the zoo.

I definitely feel like this was NOT one of my best ideas ever. I mean.. the zoo WAS enjoyable, and overall it was so nice to share the experience with my folks... it's just that the zoo is MUCH further away than I remembered. like REALLY far away. like over an hour away. which I SUPPOSE isn't too bad, but when sitting between 2 carseats (me), teething (danny), getting ready for a 9 hour car trip the next day (my folks) and being impatient in general (rhena)... perhaps taking on the zoo was a little more than I had bargained for.

no matter. we went, we had fun.

we saw animals, and even saw the creatures of wildlife. seriously.. there's nothing like going to a public place in the middle of red-neck NC to make you feel educated and slender.

Drawbacks include capturing the BACK of everyone I love in the majority of the pictures I took. I mean, sure.. I COULDA hopped the big wall to stand behind the lions, tigers and bears so I could get the FRONT of rhena's face... but.. uhhh. no.

loved the irony of Danny MOWING down on animal crackers the whole day.

Merry-go-Round was a must for Rhena.

we all did a lot of walking, and were a bit pleased to make it to this sign indicating it was all 'downhill' from there.

like I said.. it probably wasn't my BEST idea for an outing.. at least with the timing, but when I see pictures like this one below, I know that it was worth it.

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Dear Rhena

Rhena-

if you ever read this blog some day (lord, I hope NOT) I want to let you in on something. I'm NOT as great as you think I am. or.. depending on how old you are if/when you do read this.. I AM not as great as you think I am. am not. whatever. you know what I mean. I mean I suck sometimes.

I fell asleep yesterday in the middle of the day. it started innocent enough; you and your brother were taking your naps. I, was completely exhausted. I thought I'd be able to sneak a quick cat-nap to make it through the second half of our day. but I konked out.

your daddy called me at 4pm... which is why I woke up.


Honey.. I knew you had dance class, and I still fell asleep. and I woke up too late to take you. and I'm SO SORRY. I'm even sorrier that I made up a lie by saying that class had been cancelled. That was really shitty of me.

The truth is that I fucked up. and I didn't think you would understand. so again.. I'm sorry.


I'm also sorry that we spent a good portion of our morning and mid-day today waiting for your nose to stop bleeding. I know it's not my fault that you get bloody noses, but the fact that I had something to do with making you, I feel somewhat responsible. no little child should have to deal with THAT much blood. We laugh and joke about your 'silly nose' but it makes me ache inside to see that much blood come out of your tiny face. and so often. Anyways... I know that has nothing to do with you missing class yesterday, but I just wanted to say that I really think it sucks that your nose bleeds so much. not funny.. not silly.. SUCKS.


so... again.. I'm sorry you had a shitty week, and that some was from my doing. or lack of doing. Gram and Grampa are coming tomorrow, though.. so I have a feeling next week is gonna be a whole lot better. even though dance class really IS cancelled for next week.


.

Return to Neverland

Take me back to the Garden, child.. for once again life is too busy.

Remind me how to slow down, little one... and let someone else take the lead.

Teach me to be kind to strangers, sweet girl... for among the flowers we all are friends.

Let's sit down for just a moment, my boy... and take notice of the small things.

Allow me to look through your eyes, baby girl... so I can see only goodness.

Just one last picture, honey... so I can remember today forever.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Easter pictures continued. stomach still cringing from yesterday's intake. will do real post soon.

Happy Easter, gang.

Humped!

Well.. we're finally at the middle of the week. for one reason or another.. this week has been a long one already. Maybe cause it's just about Easter, and I'm practically SALIVATING at the idea of meat and sweets (and a glass of WINE!!) and these last few days. just. won't. be. over. with.


Next week, Rhena's off from school, so we'll have a little taste of what summer will be like. without the excruciating heat and humidity, that is! on tap are some play dates, park visits, and perhaps a museum or two. I'm looking forward to it. There's something very fulfilling about taking the kids to a special place. it reminds me of all the day trips my parents used to take us on. and now, as a parent.. I want my kids to grow up knowing that there's a whole world outside of stepford, and it doesn't occur in 45 minute scheduled increments.


so yeah.. next week we're gonna do some free-style childhooding.

I still have to discuss my stress/concerns about Rhena wearing makeup. Part of me is resigned that it will happen, but I haven't totally given up the fight. Basically.. For Rhena's recital in May... I got a 10-page document of rules and regulations, one of which states multiple times that ALL DANCERS must wear FULL-FACED MAKE-UP. it goes on to describe that this is defined as FOUNDATION, eyeliner (??) mascara, eyeshadow, AND lipstick.



uhh.. Rhena is THREE.


The idea of Rhena wearing that much SHIT on her face makes me seriously ill. I have seen girls getting pictures done in our local photography studio; and really... vegas showgirl comes to mind. of course.. then there's the CONSTANT THOUGHTS OF JON-BENET

SO disturbing. and I know, I know.. the make-up is because they will be on stage, and the lights will fade them out. but then the director said some shit about it being a tradition that every little girl looks forward to... wearing the make-up and pretty costumes and being on stage.

Maybe I'm the big dummy cause this is what I signed up for, but it really ISN'T. I signed my daughter up to be in a dance class, a good school with structure and professional teachers. not some run-amok gym class.

and rhena LOVES the class, and is SO excited about her big recital, and that gram and grampa will be coming to see her.. so I can't just say NO.

the good news is that now having had worked for the make-up mafia, I suppose I can apply the bare minimum that will make her face visible from the audience and meet the requirements of full-face without making her look whore-ish. but I'm still not happy about it.

anyways. that's that. The whole idea makes me ill.. more so cause i TRULY don't want my baby wearing make-up, and that she will most-likely be doing so. And the moms in the hall say it's no big deal.. but to me? it is. I DON'T find it cute. I DON'T think it's normal. I simply don't like it.

but... I also won't like it when Rhena at 13 wants to wear a skirt that's too short, when Danny starts dating, when either kid gets their driver's license, or goes off to college. bleh.. but even that is different, cause those are natural milestones in growing up. wearing make-up at THREE is NOT A NATURAL MILESTONE!!!! ok.. I'm done talking about it. The recital is not until May, and I can stress about this more later. for now, I'm going to enjoy my babies.

Divine Comedy

aaah. you know, with Rhena in my life, there never seems to be a shortage of things to talk about. or at the very least for me to share what SHE talks about.


so, I was helping miss boogey-pants get ready for school this morning. When I finished up with her hair, she stood up, spun around, and announced "Oh, I look DIVINE."



yeah. I'd definitely say she has a HIGH sense of self-love.


________________

today's inspiration? Margaret Brent, the first woman in the North American colonies to demand the right to vote. She and pioneers like her fought for women like me to have a voice. EVEN if it means bringing my children with me to the voting booth. hassle as it may be... there's never a wrong time to teach others (OR YOURSELF) that a voice matters.

It's begun

oh dear.



I knew this day was coming.



after breakfast today, rhena came around the corner wearing her jacket and shoes.

She informed me that she was going outside to wait for the bus. She reportedly was going on a trip. when asked to where, she replied that she was off to her "new home".


She must have sensed my semi-state of concern, because she assured me to not worry, cause she would be back in the morning when I woke up.

as luck would have it, I promised her that today I was going to make an appointment for her to see the dentist. I was able to trump her spontaneous bus trip by convincing her she needed to be here so I could call the dentist. apparently micro-managing my administrative duties is more appealing than waiting on the corner in her pyjamas.


sigh. I guess I just didn't think I'd be dealing with the runaway child this early in the game. or this early in the day, either. momma needs coffee to deal with this kind of shit, people.


oh well. happy monday, and here's hoping that everyone in your life stays put this week.


_____________

today's inspiration? my SCALE, believe it or not! I was only down point-8 pounds for my weigh-in this morning, but I'm only point THREE pounds away from my 10% goal-slash-competition with troy. I for sure feel energized enough to get through this last hump. I can do it!!!

This joint is jumpin'

whew! hump day already!!!


busy day planned with errands and playdates. oh, and consignment stuff. gotta finish everything up so I can drop it off tomorrow while rhena's at school.


of course.. we need to have a block of time set aside for some jumping.


Danny's newest most favorite thing in the world to do is jump.


ok, so maaayyybe 'jump' is a generous term, as the moose's feet don't actually leave the ground. but don't tell him that. he thinks he's jumping.


of COURSE this has created a new passion for all things leaping with Boogie. she CLAIMS she's helping to teach danny how to jump, but I think she's looking to put me out of commission. if she's not lining things up on the ground to jump OVER... then she's typically climbing to new heights to perform her very own Jimmy "the Superfly" Snuka off the couch or bed or chair or... you get the idea.

seriously people.. my worry-wart heart can't handle this shit.


Ask my brother's RIBS what happened when *I* used to Snuka on HIS ass when we were kids.


I mean... Danny's solid... but Rhena... she's BONEY!!! and bones BREAK.


so to be a little pro-active with the what can only be a ticking time bomb... I mean.. Rhena's jumping..... I'm trying to set aside a part of our day when we get our jump on.


any good suggestions for jumping songs? clearly we have used Van Halen and House of Pain. I THINK I have some old club music kicking around with lyrics claiming to "jump jump.. a little higher.. jump jump.. til you get tired" (NO idea what song that is, btw??) ****


but yeah. suggestions for a jump track are welcome. ESPECIALLY if it's not on the Lion King or Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat soundtracks.



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edited to add: **** JUNGLE BROTHERS! of course!!! song is "I'll House You". This was a staple song throughout many of my teen years, so it's no wonder the lyrics were creaking around in my noggin. aaaaah.. good times!