Movin' and Groovin'

wow. is it mid MAY already???

Things have been really trucking along in these parts... My Stepford business is slowly and steadily getting orders here and there... and I'm FINALLY finishing up my homework so Troy can eventually do all the coding to implement the design changes we've come up with these past few months.

Rhena's recital is coming up... she's very excited about it... and I am no longer a crazy stress bucket about the idea of having to put some make-up on her face. I still don't LIKE it.. but after last year, I know my baby isn't going to look like a southern whore, so I've come to some form of peaceful acceptance.

Next week is also the last week of preschool, and while I'm still a teeny bit bitter than Rhena will not be allowed to move on to Kindergarten (thank you state of North Carolina and your asinine new law that changed the cutoff date for age requirements)...I am VERY happy that Kidoodle Kreations came through for me again for the end-of-the-year teacher Thank you gifts.

Not sure if you remember, but last year, I had Kidoodle Kreations make some notecards from a project Rhena had done in school. This year, they turned another one of Rhena's projects (with a little digital editing of mine to add a quote about teachers) into some note cards, and they arrived today. YAY!

I totally recommend their services if you're looking for a cool personalized gift. and Carrie, the owner, is a real person... with a cool name to boot! Seriously, though. I've been happy both times, and will continue to give her business cause I think she's got a quality product and service going.

so that's that. My folks come down next wednesday to take part in the recital festivities... so yay for that. and yay for fresh faces in this house cause I'm getting a LITTLE worn out of Danny being up in mine. but that's another story involving tantrums and explosive diapers, and well... just another story. trust me.

speaking of tantrums... time for me to supervise the lunching of the kids and get them down for some naps. If I don't get some laundry done today during nap time, Troy's bound to have an epic tantrum . or the piles in the closet will take life and attack us. either way, I'm thinking it ain't gonna be pretty.

have a good weekend, gang.

Friday on my mind

so here I am, in the middle of another nap time that took waaaaay too long to get here today.

wait... did I just say that out loud? yeah. I did.


my darling sweet lovable kids were terrors today. Danny threw a full-on tantrum that STILL has my ears ringing, and it's possible one of the kids bit the other one during a fight over dress shoes at one point. I saw no teeth marks, and given Rhena's tendency to exaggerate, this could be a fabricated ploy for sympathy... but who knows.


at any rate, the winds shifted and the kids were nothing but sugar later and we did get to spend some time at the park and do some food shopping. win-win. you know, except for that whole screaming terrors routine they were working earlier. can't forget that part.

So y'all know I love me some TV. I have a few shows that I watch regularly, and I do enjoy the escapes they provide. I like to be entertained, I really do. I mean.. who doesn't, right? the FORM of entertainment may be different for different folks, but nonetheless... we all like to be entertained in our own ways.


Troy doesn't like watching shows with me sometimes. you see.. I have this horrible habit of pausing whatever show we're watching to give him my prediction of how the show/movie/story will turn out. like the minute I think I've figured it out. I know, I know.. I'm one of THOSE people. seriously. don't ever take me to a movie. I'll just ruin it for you.

I will do the little 'blow-on-the-knuckles-and-polish-them-on-my-chest" move and say that I've got an about 90% accuracy rate when it comes to my guessing, too. which of course makes shit even THAT MUCH MORE annoying to others, cause then what's the point if there's no mystery to watch unravel.

I tease Troy and say it's cause I'm a gypsy (Hungarian heredity, thank you mom!) but the truth? how can I NOT figure out shit? does he not REALIZE how many MINI-DRAMAS I watch unfold like EVERY DAY with our kids??? I'm sure I have seen enough character development, plot building and rise and falling of main characters just in the morning we have to get Rhena ready for PRESCHOOL that we could surely open a summer theater camp. never mind my teaching days and Rhena's dance days where they are allowed to do free-play til like TEN in the morning (oh yes.. the extra half hour always allows for a few more storyline twists.)


I'm still trying to figure out how I can make a profit on this. I'm SURE if Steven Spielberg or Ron Howard were to sit with my kids for a week of mornings, there's be some fantasmic movies the following summer as a result. especially if special effects were added. and a soundtrack. PLEASE a different soundtrack. cause really? Rhena's made-up dance routines are fun; but watching her dance to "margaritaville" with a large fake plant are starting to border on 'concerning behavior'.

oh and while I'm at it.. James Patterson, if you're reading?? I have a GREAT idea for a novel for you. it involves a stay at home mom who loses her shit. really. call me. we could be fabulous together. just ask my kids.

TOTALLY one of those days

This morning was one of those perfectly stepford mornings.

Both kids were up, fed, dressed and ready (as well as in the car and buckled!) 15 minutes before we typically fly out of the house to get rhena to school only a few minutes late.

I was wearing my contacts! and a skirt! the sun was shining, and with LESS than 50% humidity.. we were ready for another day in the mid-80s.

Came home, hand-washed some dishes, and began making a pumpkin spice cake. Boy child was happy! music was playing! and yes... the sweet smells of pumpkin were beginning to make their way through the house.

I said something on twitter that I half expected to see a cartoon woodland animal show up and start singing to me. kinda like this:

I know.. Blame Rhena. all these damn Disney princess videos I'm having to watch are starting to creep into my everyday thinking. it's freaky.

So I KNEW all was too good to be true... the cakes? came out perfect. There was even a little extra batter to make 6 muffins/cupcakes.

Then... then I started the cream cheese maple frosting. And danny came and hugged me. (hear the birds? c'mon.. I know you do!)

screeeeeeeeeeeech!

yes. this is where my perfect morning came to a shit-assed stop.

literally.

Danny took a MAN-sized crap, and the smell not ONLY overpowered the once-delightful aroma of pumpkin spice in my kitchen.. but kinda crept up my nostrils and CHOKED ME. like JOLT TO THE BRAIN make you GAG CHOKING!!!!

fine.

we have perfection in cake form... this will not stop me.

change Danny's diaper, SCRUB hands in antibacterial.. and resume.

cream cheese. butter. maple syrup. powdered sugar... mmmm. mmmmmm. uh... HUH! ACK! what the??

GAAAAAH!

Danny crapped again.

seriously. I KNOW!

so anyways. take him upstairs... get him all cleaned up... come downstairs, SCRUB HANDS.. get back to my frosting.

hmm... frosting is just about filling up the kitchen aide (decided to do a double batch, cause mmm.... cream cheese frosting! with 100% pure maple syrup!).. but the frosting is... runny. hmph.

maybe add some more powdered sugar. taste. ok.. a BIT sweet.. but not bad. still runny... still runny. holy what the.. DANNY!

again my boy shits.

go upstairs AGAIN and get the boy cleaned up. At this point.. my nose feels permanently STAINED with poop smell. I'm verging on gagging, and crap smell has taken over both floors of the house. SCRUB hands again (getting slightly raw now) and get back to frosting.

I decide to let it sit in the fridge for a bit while I slice one of the cakes and chop pecans for garnish. sure enough, it firms up a bit... only to turn into a sloppy mess when I put some on the cake.

it was ugly, people. and at this point.. Danny, who apparently is now like 6 pounds lighter, decides he's HUNGRY and will not let go of my leg.

Where are my birds? where are my cartoony woodland creatures that will bring my prince and make my feet look cute? I'll tell you where they are....

thank you. thank you very much. Now.. for your information.. I'm going to go eat my perfect spice cake and wash it down with a shot of cream cheese frosting.

outside.

where it doesn't smell like poop.

Gone but not forgotten

hey gang.


sorry I've been scarce in these parts lately and around the internet. As I said earlier, my folks are here, and I've been busy.... surviving.

surviving isn't really the best word, though. I was BARELY surviving before they got here. Since my folks' arrival, I have finally gotten a chance to regroup just enough to man up and get shit done around here.

last week we had Rhena's nose cauterized. anyone that knows my child knows she has been getting severe nosebleeds since like.. BIRTH. we go through phases where she doesn't have many, but then we ALSO go through phases where our house and her clothing typically resemble some crime scene. so despite not wanting to put her through any ordeal... we decided it would be better than many more years of having to stop what she's doing with whomever she's with so she can tend to the red fountain above her mouth. The process was gut wrenching for me. but more on that later.

we made THREE attempts to get Troy an MRI (yes I said three... his spine is jacked up and despite being on 3 different pain meds and taking a valium, he has been unable to lay down for the hour-long test.) we just added some oral steroids to the mix, though... so we're hoping to try again on saturday.

we've been making pierogies (yesterday completed 13 dozen potato ones), dealing with moosey's clockworkingly predictable tantrums, eye doctor appointments for me (since I ripped my last contact and have been wearing 4 yr old glasses for 2 weeks).. and you know.. just regular tomfoolery that comes with the folks visiting.


on a POSITIVE note... I really do know that my folks being here has helped me get everything done. Them being able to watch one or both kids so I can get some things done with complete attention has been a GRACE. I actually feel stronger than I did a week ago. ok.. a little constipated (haven't crapped since saturday. WTF???) but stronger for sure.

I was allowed to do a guest post over at Mama Ginger Tree's House. so that was cool. go on over and say hello!!!

The cancer walk??? have you been over there lately? We're currently standing at OVER $1100 dollars in donations. This is so amazing.. and I can't thank you enough!!!! Some of you have e-mailed me and asked when the donations have to be in by... I believe we have up until just before the walk, so October. I KNOW you can find $5 by October!!!! please donate if and what you can!!! because really.. every dollar does count!

I'm currently working on a pitch for a local place in which I'm going to try to convince them to host a fundraising event for the walk. strike that. I AM going to find a place to host an event... and I have one place in mind.. just hoping they'll see my vision. I'll share more when I have everything official.

alright. I ought to put this thing away and prepare for another day of pierogies. we still have more potato to make, then we move on to the kapusta. I've been taking pictures, so will have a post next week of the whole process.

OH!!! so important!!!! I need some suggestions!!!


part of my 'pitch' to the bar/restaurant includes featuring a drink (one that can be alcoholic, AND have a non-alcoholic version available that's at least semi-similar)

anyways.. I'm looking for a drink to suggest. I want to call it "The Pink Ribbon Rock Star"


My first instinct is pomegranate, raspberry vodka, and 7-up....

I've done martinis where I've mixed keylime sparkling water with pom juice and raspberry vodka, and those are refreshing... but I'm looking for something new and GOOD. PLEASE share any recipes you just love... preferably ones with a pinkish hue. I've heard lots of you talk about blueberry vodka. so hit me with some ideas, gang!!!


ok. pierogies are calling. I'll post more as I can. but for sure will be back ont he regular next week.

oh, and SORRY about the mix tape last week. oops. I'll make a point to schedule a topic for friday this week... so for sure check back so we can get our music on!!!

Hurricane Alley

I suppose that isn't the best title given all the weather issues the gulf states are having....


but what I mean to say is that today is going to be a busy day for the Fever.


My folks are currently en route.... and while this makes every clock in my house look a little larger and tick just a tweensy bit louder..... and every little mess seem to have magically GROWN overnight.... yes.. while this means I will be as busy as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest today (and please notice I DID say MAN.. cause you KNOW any one-legged WOMAN in an ass-kicking contest could do THAT, drink coffee, AND write thank you notes and pay bills at the same time....)


so yeah. me? busy. but very excited.



excited to have the folks come so we can hang out and just BE. oh, and of course, the free babysitting should not go unmentioned. I'm for SURE gonna pimp them out so I can go to dinner and maybe a movie with troy. and you know.. get some basic stuff done like GO TO THE EYE DOCTOR SO I CAN STOP WEARING THESE OUT OF DATE GLASSES.


Did I not mention that yet?

oh yeah.. TOTALLY ripped the shit out of my contact, irritated my eye to no end.. and yeah.. no more back-up contacts.


anyways. today we're gonna hustle to get this place in tip-top company ready shape. and get creamer. I'm drinking my coffee this morning with danny's whole milk cause I'm out of creamer. If you know me in any capacity... this substitute for me is just about the same as ordering a fillet Mignon in a steak house, and getting a White Castle burger instead.

exactly.

alright... have a great day, gang.


and listen.. if you HAVEN'T made a donation yet??? PLEASE go to my page. EVERY dollar counts, and every PERSON on that honor roll offers a new surge of hope for SO MANY FAMILIES. Don't believe me? check out any one of the +2500 pages of the tribute book.

No place like Home

so here in the south... it's hot as balls out.

no, really... I logged on to weather channel and I could SWEAR that the reported temp was 5 degrees higher than the expected high for the day, and that was before they factored in the humidity index.

I firmly believe that if I had one of those thermometers outside of my window that it would be giving me the middle finger, telling me to get back inside and don't come back out until at LEAST september. maybe october.

ok.. I lie. before 10am, and after 8pm, the temps cool down to low eighties.. MAYBE in the 70's if there's a cold front moving through. but even then.. the air is... as snoopy gingerly called it... MOIST. (that's for you, Katy!)

anyways.. I'm sure everyone else is having their share of dog days this summer. my point is that we have been spending a LOT of time indoors. the library, the book store, the food store... every errand has become a major attraction, just as long as it's inside and there's snacks involved.

we've been doing a LOT of dance parties. Rhena's passion for dancing and all-things ballerina has only gotten STRONGER over the summer. At any given time, you can usually find her in SOME fashion of leotard, tights, tutus, slippers or shoes.

Not one to squelch creativity.. I just roll with it.

Speaking of rolling.. I TOTALLY need to get cracking on rhena's birthday plans. it might be an age thing, cause Suser was talking about this yesterday... but holy good gravy.. Rhena has changed her mind AT LEAST a gagillion times about her party theme. Top runners have been princess, wizard of oz, a 'dark' party (hang on.. I'll get to that in a second) and most recently.. a pink poodle party.

The dark party was an interesting one. she came up to me one day and the conversation went like this:

Rhena: "momma... I want a dark party for my birfday. Say 'rhena? what's a dark party'"

Me: "rhena.. what's a dark party?

Rhena: it's a party in the dark, silly! momma.. say "Rhena.. how will we see the cake if it's a dark party?"

Me: Rhena.. how will we see the cake if it's dark?

Rhena: No, momma.. say dark PARTY. say 'how will we see the cake if it's a dark PARTY.'

Me: *sigh* Rhena. how will we see the cake if it's a dark PARTY?

Rhena: With Glowsticks, silly! really, momma.. you are just so silly! we can't see a cake in the dark, so we need glowsticks! lots and lots of glowsticks, ok? so I want a dark party for my birfday, ok?

did I mention it's been a long summer?

Anyway.. she has until today to figure out what exactly she wants as her party. as of breakfast, she was leaning towards the Pink Poodles ("but maybe a black spot doggie for the boys, momma")

we have a few errands to run... so who knows where the wind may blow her thoughts today. oh wait. there's no wind. just the stillness of hot, humid death outside. anyways. what I mean to say is who knows what might happen today. we could be talking dolphins before the day is through.

keep it cool, gang.

It's gonna be one of THOSE days.

I'm NOT going to talk about yesterday... the super-mommy marathon in which I single-handedly took on two cranky children and led them through a day of FUN FILLED activities and no naps and nose bleeds and baths and thunderstorms. cause that was yesterday.


I WILL say, however, that I woke up to the garage fridge not working, and that as soon as I can drink just a LITTLE more coffee I'm off to Lowe's to attempt repairing the wall circuit in the garage.

with both kids in tow.


in the rain.



DO wish me luck. I may actually need it.

of June and June

so it just occurred to me that June is almost over. seriously. see what happens when you're gone for three weeks? time warp, people.. time warp, I tell ya!

anyways... being that I HAVE been gone for so long, and this last week was spent mostly inside on lock-down trying to keep the kids from going crazy and/or getting any sicker than they might possibly be from this year's round of highly contagious don't-even-look-at-me-for-3-to-10-days-cause-your-ass-is-gonna-catch-this-itis.

the house got messy. that happens when you.. you know.. LIVE in your house.

so with troy gone this weekend playing house with a bunch of coding nerds in Atlanta, I decided to take on another June. that's right... slap my ass and call me June Cleaver.... momma Carrie busted a moved and did some cleaning this weekend.

baseboards! hardwoods! toilets! showers! kids' bathroom! laundry! beds stripped! I even detailed the wood trim on both stair cases. next up is vacuuming and furniture polish.

what?? did I really just say FURNITURE polish???? eeeek; someone stop me before I start setting new standards for myself!

actually, I think it's that post-scrub-love-frenzy I'm in right now. I really did just work up a sweat doing the hardwoods this past hour and a half. now, sitting on the couch and catching my breath while the second half of my coffee cup kicks in, I'm looking in the other room and seriously... my floors look like long rectangles of melted caramel. delicious. you know.. without the sticky.

anyways; I believe there's more laundry to be folded or closets to be organized or sidewalks to be swept or or or.... the list goes on.

peace out and happy weekend, people.

.

Slum Lord

Nothing like starting your day by kicking two expectant parents out of their home.


I am officially the worst landlord around. ok, maybe tied with troy.


So yeah. turns out two birds were building a nest. IN our grill.


I'm all about letting birds be birds and having the kids excited about seeing eggs and nests and all that 'nature' shit....


but I HAVE to believe the guilt I feel now for kicking them out of and burning their home would be FAR less than what guilt I would feel the next time we do up a steak and get a side of fried eggs.



just saying.


.

We're still here

been a busy past few days here at the Apollo.

in case you're wondering what exactly we DO all day when we're not out running errands or baking cookies.


well, I suppose it's more correct to say that this is an example of what we do AFTER we make cookies. (to get you caught up.. rhena and the floor got COVERED in flour, so I had the broom out to sweep, and had taken rhena's clothes off to shake them out. when I came back in to the house... this is what I saw.)





just another typical day, right? what have YOU been up to?


.

Valley of the Dolls

so last year I posted about something I find to be UBER creepy.


tonight.. I see that life has come full circle.

no... I didn't break down and buy one of those freak-tastic dolls. please. I don't even frigging want a DOG.. you think my icy black heart wants a DOLL? or one that looks like THIS???




Christ Almighty.. just LOOKING at that thing makes me feel like I'm in a bad slasher film from the 70s. seriously.. cue the music... EEEE EEEEE EEEEE!!!!


ANYWAYS....

tonight... I'm looking around my room... and messy as it is, I count no less than four.. yes, count them FOUR dolls laying around in make-shift beds. Rhena felt the urge to put her 'babies' to sleep tonight.


in my room.


the creepy, naked, "head/hands/feet made of plastic, body stuffed and soft" babies are all laying about my room, mixed with laundry piles.

It's half creepy... other half MASH tent. bodies haphazardly located in open spots of my bedroom floor, complete with pillow, blankets, and other assorted sleep accessories.

I guess that's what I get for making fun of people who like that shit, though. I get a daughter who inadvertently shoves my fears in my face.


damn good thing Troy's not working late.

and that rhena also finds clowns creepy. seriously. there's just no way I could handle clowns.



.

Cookie

so as I was telling a friend today... the SHORT story is that we do not have a dog.


the LONG story SHORT is that we did for a few hours today.


seriously, people.. I just can't make this shit up.


So I was talking on the phone with my mom (which, btw.. the visit with the inlaws was very nice. they had left this morning, and I was getting caught up with my mom and the events of recent NJ, including my niece Delaney's birthday party (which I still haven't sent her gift for (but last year she was the only one who got her gift on time, so I don't feel THAT bad)))

so I'm feeding Moosey his lunch, and I hear Troy asking me if we know of anyone that just got a puppy.. apparently one was walking down the street. Rhena wanted to see what was going on, so she headed up to the front door with Troy.

next thing I know.. a dog came streaking through our kitchen.


I immediately hung up the phone with my mom (which, btw.. if you ever are feeding your child while talking to your mom, it's probably not polite to hang up suddenly without calling back soon to let her know your child was not in danger of needing Heimlich or CPR or poison control or something)

streaking brown small dog then proceeded to jump up on my lap and lick me.


Thankfully rhena did not pee herself.. though she was so nervously excited that it's not a far stretch to think a tinkle or two may have come out. it was as if all the gods and santas had a meeting and decided she really WAS the prettiest girl and bestest kid and deserved a doggie. and had it delivered.


The dog had a tag, thankfully. Cookie was its.. uh, oh! make that a HIS name. no address, though.


so we 411'ed the animal hospital listed on his tag. hmmm. no answer.


hmph.


dog.


in my house.



So... Troy finished up with the kids and loaded the thing.. I mean Cookie... into my car and we headed to the Animal hospital.



it was closed.



There was an emergency number listed on the door... so I called it. (listen.. I don't know how YOU roll, but me having a dog in my house constitutes an emergency)

apparently, the number was to a state-run organization, and they were unable to link into the particular Animal Hospital's records to find out the owner's information.


"you should just keep the dog and bring it back to the hospital in the morning" said the person on the emergency line.


I hung up.



At this point, Cookie was nestled into Rhena's car seat, and was making no overtures to leave my presence. oiy.


so what could I do? I mean.. I couldn't just let it go. I wasn't thrilled at the idea of bringing it HOME. one.. because it's a dog, and dogs do what dogs do, and I don't want no do in my house, if you catch my drift. TWO--- Rhena. ok.. Rhena and TROY. Troy has mentioned on several occasions his interest in getting a dog.

Let me be clear.. I LIKE dogs. I HAD a dog. TWO of them, actually. but I have kids now, and fuck me running, kids take WORK. and dogs??? ugh. I really, and I mean REALLY don't want to have another thing to clean up after.

and damnit.. Rhena had that LOOK when the dog was in the house. TROY had that look. For all I know DANNY would have had that look, too, if he wasn't too busy being worried that the thing might eat his snacks.

and I'll admit.. the little bugger was cute. SMALL. I like small. and the whole time it was in our house it didn't bark. I LIKE not barking. but NO. do NOT need to go there.


ok. so. dog. in the car. bleh. stupid dog! walked right in our house. I mean.. seriously!


I called someone I knew who has a small dog and asked if I could swing by and have some food. She laughed at the situation, but welcomed me to come by and pick up some stuff. She made no bones about reminding me that sometimes when dogs ate food different than what they're used to that they will have the runs. and she didn't mean a fast jog. AWESOME.


so Cookie and I went to get it some food. our friends suggested that we let it stay outside.. but of COURSE right then it started to rain. OF COURSE.


but this time, cookie had been part of my life for about 2 hours... and now HE was giving ME a look. seriously. I was wondering if this was some bad joke that Troy was trying to pull.


I canvased stepford on my way home from our friends'... stopping to talk to anyone that happened to still be out in the sprinkling rain. on my last-chance-saloon-hail-mary-let's-go-this-one-last-street, I found two men gabbing out in their driveways. while they had not seen anyone looking for a dog, one asked what kind of dog it was.

I described my little castaway, and the man knew who the owner was. he gave me the address/description of the house... and off we went.


Thankfully, I was able to return Cookie to his rightful home. They were appreciative, as was *I* that I did not have to bring home Cookie, only to have to take him away from Rhena once more.


Naturally, when I returned home, dog-less... rhena asked if she could get a doggie like that someday. I told her maybe.. when she was older.


what I did NOT say, however, that by 'older', I mean when she's 20, and not living here.


I guess I'll cross that bridge another time.

It's a Wrap!

ok... not sure if any of you know this, but I LOVE a nicely wrapped present. I mean... don't we all? but really. the art of gift giving is one I embrace like a toilet while preggo.


wait.. that didn't sound good.


what I mean to say is that I LOVE being able to find, give and/or GET the right gift. from the off-the-wall to the sentimentally long-lasting... I cherish when the moons align and I find IT.


most of the time I'm a cheap.. sorry.. FRUGAL bitch. but I have also been known to be generous, too. but it's not even about money spent.. and anyone who has gotten something.. ANYTHING that was just SO special can attest to that.

to that point, I'm always on the lookout for the right gift for my loved ones.


today.. I found a small-scale moment of bliss when I came across a deal in my local hallmark store.


I had to go in there to get the 15+ cards for my students' upcoming First Holy Communion. and cause they're just students.. you KNOW I want to get the 99 cent jobbers. cause yeah.

ANYWAYS... while I was in there, I was thinking about trolling the wrapping paper and ribbons, cause you know.. school's year-end is coming up, and I like to have something OTHER than child-themed birthday wrap in my closet. Turns out they were having a promotion that if you purchase $5 worth of wrapping products, you could get a roll of their new self-adhesive wrap for free. ($4.99 dollar value.. sweet!)

so I picked out stuff I needed for teachers, upcoming babies, mother's day and some birthdays, and turns out I dropped $25. I casually mentioned that it would be nice if you got a free roll of the self-adhesive stuff for EVERY $5 you spent...

call it luck, but they gave it to me!!!


________________


um.. I interrupt this previously started post to tell you all that I am a predestined FOOL, people.


so.. earlier today.. well before I began this post, I whacked my left foot into a wall when getting rhena off to nap. I saw stars, I felt sensations of hot and cold.. and I coulda swore I broke a toe or two.


thinking I am a bit on the more dramatic side than not.. I let it go. I twittered something along the lines of wondering if you know if you've broken a toe or not.

fast forward a phone call, some groundwork in completing the paperwork necessary for getting our deck extended, and I decided to take a break and blog about the AWESOME deal I got on the wrapping paper (and later ribbons at target.. sorry to ruin the earlier story, but seriously.. this one wins out.)


ANYWAYS... I got to the point JUST before the solid line (again, sorry.. no links added yet.. I always do that last and now because I'm on to a different topic I'm not going back)


I thought.. OH! I'll take a picture of all the awesome wrapping paper I got!!!


so I go get the camera.. still grumbling cause my left foot has two toes that are feeling rather hurt.... and I begin to retrieve the wrapping paper from the paper/craft supply closet.

next thing I know.. holy ASSHATS, my foot is set ABLAZE IN PAIN as I hear a disgusting THUD.

in slow motion, I look down to see that a 10-lb barbell-shaped hand weight dropped from a shelf approximately 20 inches and LANDED ON MY TOE. My big toe. on my RIGHT FOOT.


people.. this shit HURT SO BAD.. I believe I stuck my face in a pile of laundry and yelped like a sick dog. a pile of DIRTY laundry. a pile of TROY'S dirty laundry. and didn't notice cause my HEART was trying to SNEAK OUT OF MY BIG TOE!!!!


my body temperature then began to escalate from raging hot to icy cold as I ass-dragged myself to the fridge for an ice pack, then to the tv room for the phone.

I called troy.


I was hurting so much that I didn't even notice that when I told him I thought I broke my toe that he actually had the nerve to ASK if he should come home. (truth be told.. the conversation is fuzzy to me right now.. troy was the one who came clean about this detail.)


once he got home, I drove myself (with my left foot... my 2 toes are hurting left foot, that is) to the doctors.


I could go into detail about how the toe by this point was varying shades of purple, completely swollen and BLEEDING... but I don't want this to overshadow the visual that I barely had half a nail on there to START with (see earlier post about close-toed shoes and losing my nail from the walk)


I WILL tell you, however, that when the doctor busted out a LIGHTER and a silver pokey thing.. I about threw up a little. yes. hot silver pokey thing ... IN my nail/flesh toe area.. to release the swelling. I may as well have been pinned on a ferry and had izzy with a drill in my head for crying out loud.


3 needles (real needles this time, not the hot pokers) later, a set of calipers (forceps? tweezers??) and one partial nail removed later, he then began to cut away some skin.


2 1/2 hours later... I am now home, my foot is all wrapped to the high heavens, and I should be resting.

I just had to share.


I'll fill in this post with links to my random streams of un-consciousness and italics and bolds and such later. I just gotta find me some pills for the pulsing going on in the toe now that the numbing shots are wearing off. as for the FIRST foot that I thought hurt... fuhgettaboutit! it's frigging MONEY compared to the toe. MONEY, I say!


happy tuesday folks!

rockin' around the clock

1, 2, 3 o'clock rock. 5, 6, 7 o'clock STOP!

people.. the poor sleeping has returned. between danny and rhena, I seem to be catching the hour hand on just about every number each night.

As I have mentioned before, Danny's got like 800 teeth coming in. so that in itself has had him not sleeping well. (and drooling and chewing on everything... and suddenly a food critic? the boy who eats anything off the floor is handing food back to me and saying "DAH!" I don't know what HE means by "DAH!", but I hear it as "please let's play the pass food back and forth game for the next half hour to forty minutes until I finally finish this delectible lunch/dinner you worked so hard to prepare especially for me, my sweet loving and oh-so-hip mother!")

around last week, I noticed that what's been coming OUT of the boy is strangely much softer than what's going IN him. and more yellow. and far smellier. (read.. he's had the mustard-yellow poops.) and while it's NOT quite the runs... it's about the consistency of toothpaste (now THERE'S a visual! AAACK!)

I figured it had something to do with all the excess drool from the tooth production... but saturday Rhenie woke up with the drip. as in nose drip. so perhaps mooser was fighting off something last week? a something that seems to be now winning out cause now Danny's nose has been leaking as well.

As for Rhena.. in addition to walking around like Sheldon was in last week's Big Bang Theory... (no really.. the resemblance is uncanny) she, too, is waking up in the middle of the night. and climbing into our bed where she proceeds to sneeze, roll over, sniffle, and ask for water intermittently every other half hour.

so anyways.. that's what's been shaking over here. getting ready for wicked on wednesday night, and troy and I have a date on thursday. so hooray for that!

tomorrow's my morning to work out. bleh! I wouldn't even call it working out at this point. more like "looking like an elephant on a treadmill". but that's alright. we all have to start somewhere, right? anyways.. gotta gear up a playlist to keep the legs moving tomorrow. last week I worked the black-eyed peas and beyonce. I think tomorrow I'll reach deep in the archives and pull out some classic techno. you know.. back in the days when I wore outfits like this and wasn't NEARLY as embarrassed as I am now just looking at it.

yes.

yes I DID.

but the point is that I DON'T any more, and my hair has fully recovered from all that over-processing. and those clothes and furniture are safely back in the garbage with the rest of the 90s.

Erin go BLAH

sorry gang. today has just been one of those days. not necessarily a BAD day.. just frigging BUSY. ok, and maybe not that great, either.

Troy thankfully DID come home to watch the kids for CCD, but I had promised that Rhena could come with me tonight. I came home to troy on the computer, ass-deep in tax stuff, and Danny upstairs crying. (did I mention he is cutting NO LESS than 6 teeth maybe 8 right now? all four molars and the canine teeth are coming in)

which means it's all on me to soothe danny (done) do rhena's bedtime, and when I'm done with that (she's making peeps right now so I have a minute or 5 to be bitching here) I have to pack up the easter goodies for her class tomorrow, OH, and clean my car cause one of the dishes I made for my teaching partner (her husband is out of town for over a month now... trying to cut her a break when possible).. yeah.. the dish?? leaked a thin cheese sauce ALL OVER. gah.


oh, but that's ok, cause now rhena's calling for me and troy's pissed because HE told me one thing AND SWEARS he said something completely different.

I'm gonna take my green off and pray that someone pinches me. Maybe it'll wake my ass up from this nightmare of an evening I seem to be having..

Coming soon!

ok. I have many scattered thoughts today.. some of which include (in no particular order)

a new food network challenge (I would CRUSH collette peters, btw)

rhena being REQUIRED to wear make-up (which deserves it's own post because I am just beyond words about this right now and troy is telling me to chill about it before getting worked up, but uh.. too late.)

the 3 dozen cookies begging to be decorated

how very disgusting the fish sandwich is at burger king, but pleased that they offer veggie burgers and applesauce

me getting sucked in deeper and deeper to facebook and twitter and I STILL haven't written that letter to my girlfriend

and well...

ok.. maybe that's it.. but the cookies and rhena in makeup are big.

but makeup isn't until may, and these damn shamrocks are about as white as my ass right NOW... which does me no good for St Patrick's day on MONDAY.


so cookies go first.

perhaps more later, if I'm not in a hard cocoon of royal icing.

Stick a Fork in Me!

seriously.


just dropped off another 50+ items for the consignment sale. hoping to make enough money to pay for the haircut I'm going to schedule myself for next saturday cause I haven't seen troy much and momma needs some time away from children.

This joint is jumpin'

whew! hump day already!!!


busy day planned with errands and playdates. oh, and consignment stuff. gotta finish everything up so I can drop it off tomorrow while rhena's at school.


of course.. we need to have a block of time set aside for some jumping.


Danny's newest most favorite thing in the world to do is jump.


ok, so maaayyybe 'jump' is a generous term, as the moose's feet don't actually leave the ground. but don't tell him that. he thinks he's jumping.


of COURSE this has created a new passion for all things leaping with Boogie. she CLAIMS she's helping to teach danny how to jump, but I think she's looking to put me out of commission. if she's not lining things up on the ground to jump OVER... then she's typically climbing to new heights to perform her very own Jimmy "the Superfly" Snuka off the couch or bed or chair or... you get the idea.

seriously people.. my worry-wart heart can't handle this shit.


Ask my brother's RIBS what happened when *I* used to Snuka on HIS ass when we were kids.


I mean... Danny's solid... but Rhena... she's BONEY!!! and bones BREAK.


so to be a little pro-active with the what can only be a ticking time bomb... I mean.. Rhena's jumping..... I'm trying to set aside a part of our day when we get our jump on.


any good suggestions for jumping songs? clearly we have used Van Halen and House of Pain. I THINK I have some old club music kicking around with lyrics claiming to "jump jump.. a little higher.. jump jump.. til you get tired" (NO idea what song that is, btw??) ****


but yeah. suggestions for a jump track are welcome. ESPECIALLY if it's not on the Lion King or Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat soundtracks.



_____________

edited to add: **** JUNGLE BROTHERS! of course!!! song is "I'll House You". This was a staple song throughout many of my teen years, so it's no wonder the lyrics were creaking around in my noggin. aaaaah.. good times!

I say whore, you say BAGGER

TELL me how pleased I am that I just spent the kids' ENTIRE naptime looking for my merigue powder.


OF COURSE it was hidden among the soup cans.


cause you know.. soup.. baking cookies. yeah.


looks like my next 'project' will be to clean/organize the pantry. because the thing I really love to do most (aside from making cookies that I can not eat) is seeing all the food in the pantry that I can not eat.


ok.. before I waste the last remaining 5 minutes of nap time complaining about how I only have 20 points a day for weight watchers and I'm CONSTANTLY HUNGRY and STILL only lost point six pounds and at that rate it's going to be another 6 weeks of eating birdseed if I want to hit my 10% goal... yes.. before I do that... I should go decorate those damn cookies.


by the soup cans. damnit!!!!

getting there

DAMN I can just not seem to get myself organized this year.


I fear that with each passing year it's going to take me longer and longer to recover from 4th quarter.. and soon I'm just going to say fuck it all and leave the christmas tree up all year.

like I did in seattle.


sigh.


of COURSE I would be much more inclined to DO SOMETHING if I wasn't so damn distracted being HUNGRY all the live-long day. yes.. I started up weight watchers again. it's so embarrassing... I lost all that weight.. was down to a happy place in the 120's... then I stopped nursing, kept eating, and wham-bam-thank-you-fat m'aam, I'm back up in the 130's.

the GOOD news is that I've enlisted Troy to join WW, too. hey.. misery loves company, right? but the bastard that he is.. gets like 300 points a day, to my measly 23. oh well... I will survive.


in fact, one week down already. I think I was too busy bitching about how hungry I was to keep track of time, but sure enough.. one week has passed. happily, I did lose 5.2 pounds... but alas.. my period is also gone, so I'm thinking some of that weight was for sure due to Aunt Flo. no matter.. that's an encouraging start.. and compared to Troy's 5.8 pounds lost... I maintain the higher percentage of weight lost for the week, and he... must clean all the bathrooms this weekend.

ain't love grand?


oh well. back to the grind. cause posting to a blog sure isn't helping to get the decorations put away.