Sticks and Stones

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reminder!! you have until SUNDAY NIGHT to submit a song for this week's mix!!

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ok. so I'm sure everyone that has a SEMI-PULSE on current affairs is aware of the recent hub-bub regarding the N-word discussion on the View lately.


hmph.


so the SMART thing for me.. a white Christian woman living in the south... the SMART thing would probably be to not say anything at all... but I never claimed to be smart. so let's chat about this for a minute, shall we?

Whoopi says she uses the N-word as a way of taking back control of oppression that she and her ancestors have felt since coming to America.

Other chick (Sherri, is it?) says she grew up using the N-word, so she uses it as a term of endearment.

Both Whoopi and Sherri say that they as African-Americans may use the term, but anyone NOT of African American decent may not.

Crying chick (Elisabeth) got fired up and in my opinion did a POOR job of expressing whatever in hell she was trying to say.


I mean.. we ALL get the point. the N-word is historically a derogative term. But no, now it's ok and socially acceptable to use it as a term of endearment... that is if.. and ONLY IF you are an African American using the term. Webster's take can be found here if you really HAVE been under a rock for the past 20+ years.

Arguments can be made in the case FOR using the n-word as one chooses (provided that choice is only used exclusively by African Americans) because we as a society have allowed the term "bitch" to be used as a term of endearment... endearment, that is, when spoken by a woman. Because a MAN saying that someone is his bitch is bad. except sometimes when that man is gay... cause apparently gay men are allowed to be bitches, too.


And lest we forget the homosexuals!!! While it's apparently very allowable for one homosexual to call another a faggot... it's a bit low-brow for anyone else to do so. This makes me wonder if the mentally handicapped of America have a secret handshake or call each other 'retards' when in the presence of other mentally handicapped Americans. Do overweight people get to call each other 'Fatties'?

again.. I say hmmm.


Now don't get me wrong.. I have for SURE called my friends bitches and meant it in a good way. I've even called TROY my bitch a time or two. So I for sure am guilty of partaking in the double-standard. For my own participation in finding exclusivity of name calling, I can say that I do understand where Whoopi and Sherri are coming from.

but if I think about it.. and I mean REALLY think about it... what good has come of me calling anyone a slur? Do my girlfriends feel CLOSER to me because I call them my bitch? would calling them a bitch be better than just saying out loud how I love someone and value and understand them? Because really.. my girlfriends AREN'T bitches. sure, like anyone, each of us CAN be BITCHY... but they are not bitches. they are beautiful, complex, passionate, strong and intelligent WOMEN. all of them! in their own ways!


I even noticed that when I have USED the term 'my bitch' in the past, I say so with such a rough-and-tough demeanor and gusto... like I'm hardcore or some shit. uh... look in MY mirror lately, and I am anything BUT hardcore, folks. but yet... I call someone my bitch, and I'm all gangstah and shit. what is this facade, and why in hell do I need it?

I DO feel that EVERYONE in America (regardless of cultural background) has had to deal with some type of prejudice or hatred at some point in the history of the United States. Ask ANYONE, and I can pretty much bank on them being hated/ostracised/segregated for something at some point in their or their family's life. Religion, skin color, money, size, gender, sexual preference, physical limitations, or any category lacking thereof... there's ALWAYS going to be someone who has been left out or oppressed because of something they just are. Perhaps it is the fear of rejection that continually pushes many of us to try to be something we are not.

Anyways.. I'm not going to go down any road that would suggest what other people should or should not do. I can only speak for myself... and of course.. the ever-important example I will try to set for my children.


This week was a FINE (pun intended) exercise for me in exploring the use of words and how they can be interpreted many ways. I think that at the end of the day.. or at least here, now, and going forward for me... I'd like to make a better effort to choose my words more carefully. After all.. there ARE so many words out there TO USE to describe exactly what it is I think and feel... and if my intention IS to hurt? well.. there's always sticks and stones.

Little Finger

ok.. so much for my blogging break.. seems like whenever I actually acknowledge that I'm not blogging is when I have the urge to post.

oh well. and so is my life.



so today.. we had to take a trip up to the lumber yard.. for one, to take a look at the composite samples for our deck re-do we're planning. two.. to pay for the materials.


so yeah, no biggie. just another errand. of COURSE this means that I must have the kids in tow with me, so I tried, like I usually do.. to make this errand THE. MOST. EXCITING. THING. EVER!!!!!


by the time we left the house, Rhena was frothing a little at the idea of going to a LUMBER YARD!!! She told me no less than five times that she's never been to a bumber nard and she hopes she doesn't get wet. cause if she gets wet then she'll have to change her clothes and did we bring extra clothes momma?


This lumber yard, like many other businesses in the south, was a smaller, local distributor. well, not SMALL-SMALL... but not big-box like home depot or lowes. Small and Local in the south means old men work there. or old ladies, depending on the case, I suppose.


well, from the minute we rolled up, a certain gentleman named John was taken with Rhena. could be that she said "well, HELLO sir.. I'm BERRY happy to be here at your bumber nard." (Lumber Yard, Rhena.. Lumber Yard.) "oh yeah, sorry. wumber yard. It's BERRY nice here. can we go in??"

I kid you not, John introduced us to everyone that worked there. we got to see forklifts. we saw their storage racks. we saw every office within the main building. John was certainly pleased with his new friends and guests, and at one point he even had rhena telling each new worker how she spells her name. "Get a load of that, Frank? she can spell her name! I bet she might be smarter than you, Frank! Yeah, You're a smart girl, Rhena, yes you are!"


Rhena left the business with four pencils, two note pads, some candy and some new friends.

*I* left the place paying 5% less than my contractor told me I would, and a promise that they wouldn't deposit my check until I receive the materials on site next thursday.

sometimes.... it's good to be me.



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Dreams of Susan Lucci

ok---- so how is it possible to dream about a person that you don't even know? Well, I have to blame my friend Susie for mentioning something about Susan Lucci looking as good as a 30 year old, even though she's like 79 or something ridiculous like that.


you see... though I've heard the name and have some sub-conscious recollection that she's some actress that it took 50 years to win some soap opera award.... I have NO IDEA who this woman is.



yet--- she plagued my dreams this weekend.


Yes, it was an all-star, all-Susan Lucci weekend, folks.


everything happening in my dreams was either for or about Susan Lucci. Lunch, driving... some movies... I couldn't escape the woman in my sleep. which again, might I add, is weird, cause I don't even know what the woman looks like.


I think at some point last night, her wonder-twin power transformed her into the old lady that's starring in some princess diaries movies. But that (again) provided no comfort, as while I know what THAT woman LOOKS like--- I have no freaking clue what her name is.

There was also a fuzzy moment on Saturday night that I wanted to name the monster Lucciano. I decided on it so we could buy our tickets to go home for the christening... it made sense... it was a family-inspired name, and we could call the kid Lucky if it was a boy, or Lucy for a girl. yeah... OH-KAY..... now I'm ITALIAN in my dreams????

Life (or my dreams, at the very least) were much simpler when I was younger. All I had to worry about back then were the alligators next door that wrestled me when my brother and I played kick-ball. But alas--- my days of hanging out with reptilians seem to be over. I've moved on to dinosaurs of the human kind.

SO I dunno--- who woulda thunk it. Susan Lucci. I finally looked her up this morning on the net. She is old---- they wouldn't even list her birth-year on any of the websites I looked up. She's probably got more plastic in her face than I had in my wallet in college. But I'll give her credit--- she does look good.

Sad thing, though--- I've already forgotten what she looks like. I just hope I can forget about her altogether by tonight.... or at least move on to some other old woman like Angela Lansbury or something.