You Heard it Here First

so last night.. Troy and I were watching American Idol. I do not know WHY we still watch it... paula irritates me, randy is a tool, and simon is just using the same script as last year. oh wait. I remember. Troy has a man-crush on Ryan Seacrest. but that's another post.


ANYWAYS.... so there we were... fast-forwarding through commercials as we always do, and having ourselves a good laugh almost every time I paused the fast forwarding. why? cause I always seem to catch people in a frame where their face looks like they're taking a shit.


Inspiration hit Troy, and he suggested we could make a GAME out of this little past-time of ours... with the goal being that you get points for every time you 'land' on a tv personality with a shit-face. multiple points if you catch more than one character/person with the face.


Then the game took a life of its own.


"SHITFACED!!!" I cried!! "we can call the game SHITFACED!!! and make it a DRINKING GAME!!!!"


(which, btw, is funny, since troy doesn't drink and yesterday's late afternoon beer was the first drink I'd had in well over a few weeks. but I digress.)


SO. here's the game. It's called "SHITFACED".


game begins when all players are in a room watching a pre-recorded show.

During commercial breaks, the remote gets passed from player to player. (depending on how young you are, or how responsible you need to be the next day.. you can opt for one player per commercial break, or each player getting a turn during each commercial break)

The Remote holder fast-forwards through the commercials, stopping/pausing the playback when the show resumes. IF the remote-holder stops the playback on a crowd-deemed 'shitface', then everyone ELSE takes a drink. if the remote holder pauses playback on a normal face.. then the remote holder takes a drink.


2 drinks must be taken if 2 characters have the 'shitface', 3 for three.. etc. bottom line, the remote holder takes a drink for every character NOT having a shit face, the other players take a drink for all those HAVING one.

now... one could totally get drunk... I mean creative... and add penalties for stopping the playback too soon or too late. or have 'social' rounds if the playback is stopped with NO people in it.


Anyways... you get the point. SHITFACED.


you heard it here first.


.

Oh what a night!!!

late december back in 63.....


ok, sorry. got distracted there for a minute.


what I mean to say is... bunco was quite the night. QUITE. THE. NIGHT.


hmmmm.... what do you mean, "quite the night"???


well... let's just say that when all was said and done (or should I say ATE and DRANK)... one of our Bunco Girls found it completely necessary to throw up ALL OVER MY HOUSE.

yes... I said it.

THROW UP.

ALL

OVER

MY HOUSE.


ALL OVER!!!!!

ok... I think you get the point... but let me assure you that whatever you're imagining... it was worse. cause it was IN MY HOUSE. Did I mention that it was on the walls and all over the floors? nothing was spared... closets, doors, floors, walls, bathroom rugs... uggg.

My dear friend twinkie made a comment after all was cleaned up (which.. btw... both my friends Ilana and Maria stayed and helped me clean up all the vomit. anyone knows that a friend will help you when you're puking.. but a TRUE friend will help you clean up someone ELSE'S puke.. just because it's in your house. yes.. TRUE friends indeed)

anyways.. Ilana made the comment that my house was like Showtime at the Apollo... so now the casa de Fever has been dubbed "The Apollo". I like it. pretty fitting. I mean seriously.. there's always SOMETHING going on here... and usually set to music. not quite barnum and bailey, you see... but definitely more than the Cleaver's on a weeknight.

so "the Apollo" it is.


kinda makes you want to run right out and join a bunco group, huh????

Sobering Thought

I'm guessing there comes a time in every (wo)man's life when you realize that your idea of 'fun' is directly related to the amount of alcohol you've consumed.


I say this, dear reader, because last night pretty much sucked. Oh--- I got my fix of kettle corn, and stuffed a few onion rings in my mouth... there was lemonade (freshly squeezed, of course)..... but there was something..... missing.


what was missing was fun. Now before you get your panties in a bunch and say how I can create my own fun... all the crap that high school guidance teachers tell the dirtbags.... before you do that, I want you to entertain the idea that FUN is not necessarily a notion, an activity, but what I like to call an alcoholic filter.


This filter is a beautiful thing--- it allows you to ignore the fact that no other town in America has a higher concentration of red-necked white trash than the very one you've willingly decided to call home. It allows you to only hear five of the 500 decibels being created from a dirt-laden child two feet away from you.... it also helps you to filter out the apparent and crass stupidity of pretty much everyone. In some cases, my friend alcohol even makes the aforementioned situations funny. It's especially handy in public gatherings--- maybe even moreso in family reunions.


But the point is--- last night was no ordinary Farmer's Market.... well--- perhaps it was. I just saw it through sober eyes. Despite my primal urge of hunger being more than satiated, the farmer's market wasn't as much fun as I remembered it. I suppose there's a lot of other stuff that's 'just not the same' since I've gotten preggo. (which would, of course, explain why my husband and I don't 'go out' as much.)

oh well--- I got my kettle corn. We spent a LOT less money. And--- we were home in time to watch jeopardy. Sometimes you just have to focus on what goes right.