Friday, April 29, 2005

Lions and Tigers and Sharks, oh my!

well--- looks like Bears are no longer on the 'most scary' list....

The sharks took a bite out of the bears with a score of 5-2.

but hey--- that's cool... you go ahead and be afraid of the fish that can't climb stairs ON LAND and come up into your bedroom or where you work and chew your hands off....

seriously.... that's cool. ......Just let me know how it all works out for you.... Me, Carlotta and Leesa will be cheering for you.

Really---- we will.

Respect my Authoritiiiii!!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Lost Cat

so on our way to swim class this morning, I noticed a sign for a missing cat in our development.

I don't know where it is now, but I can tell you for sure it snuck in our bedroom last night and took a shit in my throat.

Next time I feel like celebrating.... tell me not to.

I mean, it all started off simple enough... throwin' back the French wine with the chicken.... (which, by the way, was freaking SUPERB!!!! I don't know how I've lived this long without having asparagus, prosciutto, garlic and goat cheese stuffed chicken. MAN!!! that shit was GOOD!!!!)

so anyways... like I was saying.... everything's fiiiine. eating, .....drinking...... talking....... being happy.... what? oh, you want to open another bottle? well, maybe we shouldn't.... what? oh, you already opened it? oh, ok... well maybe just another glass. or two. and a captain and sprite. or two.

I blame my on-line girls..... yesterday we were talking about our re-union meeting we're planning, talking about drinking, and of COURSE I have to be retarded and think I can drink like I did in my 20's.... so I proceeded to do so..... uggg. big mistake.

again, I say..... who let the cat in, cause when I woke up, there was some nasty shit goin' on in my mouth.

I of course did what any sensible former bar-hopper would do when I woke up feeling woozy at 5am.... I puked up a truckload, brushed my teeth, drank some water and went back to sleep.

I feel totally fine now, but let's just say I was feeling the waves in the pool way before we got to swim class.

so did I learn my lesson? I suppose, but it's not like I didn't know what would happen when I proceeded to drink all of that crap. .....I guess Revelations is more interesting when I've got a shithouse on.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

I love this place!!!

So... today on Wednesday's dish of culture....

I took the Beaner downtown to see an exhibit featuring Venetian glass art. some of the pieces were truly breath-taking..... and to think that many were created in the 1930's.... definitely cool.

So we also walked around a little, and stopped at my new favorite grocery store. They have the best little meat counter.... I had picked up some stuffed pork chops when I did that purses platforms and power exhibit....

Then I special ordered some more chops (this time stuffed with wild rice instead of bread stuffing) when Troy's parents were here....

Today.... I picked up two breasts of chicken stuffed with asparagus, prosciutto and goat cheese (rubbed with garlic, too). I can't wait. Got a nice french wine to go with the birds, and I'll probably make some alfredo pasta to go on the side. I want a side dish, but nothing too overpowering.

but tonight I think is a reason to celebrate. I'm starting to get out of this funk of desperate loneliness, and getting my ass moving again. I know, I know... it takes time to get settled in a new place... and I can't expect to have the friends we've been so fortunate to have in our past lives of Seattle and Reno... at least not overnight.

but the past few weeks threw me for a loop, and I found that I was mentally secluding myself, and finding excuses not to go anywhere. Granted, I've gotten a fair share of cooking and cleaning done, but the soul was aching to see something other than the walls of our house.

and yes... I did get out when Troy's parents were here.... and as much as I enjoyed their company.... the NASCAR did nothing by ways of stimulating my brain. If anything, it drew me deeper into resentment.

(did I say resentment? I don't mean it to come off that harsh. I love Rhena more than anything, and I feel so fortunate to be such a big part of her life, and her in mine.... I'm just getting a little nutso not knowing anyone here, or having any friends to invite over for dinner, or anyone to meet up for a freaking cup of coffee. SO I'm not resentful... I'm just wishing I was fully acclimated here with friends and stuff.)

but now that NASCAR is behind me, and I'm back on track with exploring this funky little town... I'm feeling good. I like this place. I like the feel, the smells, and the looks. I needed today.... and I'm excited about where I will go next week. Sure, I still don't have any friends here, but real friends (the kind I've been lucky to have in my life through NJ, Daytona, Seattle, and Reno) well... real friends take time to get that way. So until then, I'm excited about all that Charlotte has to offer.

Hell-- I'm even excited about swimming tomorrow, cause I have something to talk to someone about other than what Rhena's poop looks like.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

All Swim

ok... so first of all----- how is it that 30 minutes of swim class takes 2 hours to get ready for and approximately 1 hour to be done with?

don't answer that.... I already know. It's called my morning.

So the swim class itself wasn't too bad. I didn't meet anyone yet, but there are enough moms and dads in the class that I'm bound to strike up something with someone. Rhena seemed to enjoy the water... once she got over being freaked out by the whole experience, that is. Big pool + little baby = "mommy, what the hell did you sign me up for???" as she clings tightly to me.

But despite her doubt in my ability to hold her in the water, and my choice of environments to expose her to.... I'm proud to say my baby didn't cry.... but I almost did when I realized how purple her lips were from the water temp. But towards the end of the half hour, she had warmed up to a slight blue. all that splashing musta got her blood flowing.

but on to things I learned today.

1... those swim diapers do NOT hold in pee.

2.... they do hold in poop.

3... a lot of it.

4.... it's probably wise to have a going-there outfit AND a going-home outfit, if you want your child in dry clean clothes for the ride home (see #1)

5... Family locker rooms at the YMCA are a big cluster-fuck

6.... Rhena does not like to be changed in cluster-fuck situations.

7.... Swim diapers are a pain in the ass to put on a child who's newest joy is kicking and trying to stand up.

8.... Those easy-tear sides they mention on the packaging? lies. all lies.

9.... I'm glad I wore the one-piece.

10.... I wish other women did, too.

11.... this is going to be a long five weeks.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Monday Match-Up... when Animals Attack

well--- in honor of Aunt Flo staying with us this week.... I've decided to explore our animal sides.

confused? don't be.

It's a common understanding that certain animals are attracted to the scent of blood, so I'm taking the two heaviest hitters and pairing them up.

so without further ado---- I give you this week's match-up....

The Great White Shark
The Mighty Black Bear

Now, I know this should go without saying for most of you, but please.... let's not look too deep in to this, ok? let's not get hung up on where the fight is occurring. I realize sharks can't go on land, and you won't find a bear in the depths of the ocean. just go with it, people.

So--- did the movie Jaws really have an impact on your childhood? Were you the type that closed your eyes during Grizzly Adams??? Which is the bigger, better beast?

Ding, Ding...... let the hunt begin!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Aunt Flo

George is visiting.
Riding the Crimson Tide.
On the rag.
Hanging at Camp Kotex.
The seven day curse.
Painting my undies red.
Riding the Red Rocket.
Having the painters in.
That time of the month.
Up on blocks.
My friend is here.
Shark Bait.
Not pregnant this month.
Off the swim team.
Making way for Midol.
Sent back to second base.
and, of course.....
Aunt Flo is visiting for seven days from Tampa.

no matter how you say it.... for the first time in 16 months and 20 days..... I have my period.

ask me how much I missed it. yeah. it ranks right up there with morning sickness.

Friday, April 22, 2005

On Being Appropriate:

So Derek got me thinking:

I went back and did a few more of those quizzes. I forgot to copy the results to them, but this one kinda stood out.

truth hurts sometimes.....

Barbie Got Back
Barbie Got Back! Go you! You're the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

You Ain't nothin but a....


that's right..... Elvis stuck it to RuPaul.

I suppose that's fine.... I was kinda pulling for RuPaul on this one, but with 7 votes to three.... (well, EIGHT to three if you count Memphis Steve as a vote. I wasn't sure exactly what he was getting at, but he mentioned the King, so I'll tally that as a vote) the numbers don't lie.

So la la la.... long live the King... Viva Las Vegas, and all the hoopla that goes along with it.

Young Elvis was pretty much the shiznit of his day..... he definitely had his legions of fans. I respect that. Back then I can understand... to me, being an Elvis fan back then is roughly the same as being a Beatles fan during their days, or even a Dave Matthews Band Groupie these days. Does it border on Cult-like? mayyyy-be.... but it's far better than being that way with Elvis now. I mean, c'mon, people.... let the fat bastard be dead, you know?

But whichever whatever--- Elvis won, fair and square... so congrats, King. May you celebrate your victory with some greasy hash and a bottle of whatever in the after-life.

Speaking of Fat Bastard.... me thinks I'm going to have some wine this weekend.

we're supposed to have a lot of rain this weekend. Not enough for us to be up a creek like Dan, but lots and lots of rain, with some thunder to boot. Sounds like the perfect weekend to open up the blinds, watch the show, and down some vino. Nothing like cheap entertainment and an even cheaper date. I really am quite the catch, huh?

Happy Passover, gang!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Coincidence? --- I think not.

It's happy hour, gang!


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

The Switch

so I'm convinced that at some point in the hospital when Rhena made her debut that Troy got distracted.

I mean... there was about a half hour or so where the two of them went somewhere to do stuff while I was getting stuff put back into me and getting all stitched up. Not for nothing, but we had been running on very little sleep, and it's not like she came out all talking and saying, "Hi, I'm Rhena, will you hold my hand so I don't get lost????"

What if Troy turned his head and they switched her with some other kid? Highly doubtful, I know... but still.

I mean.... sure, she's got our temperament, our flair for being the center of attention, my vocal chords, Troy's red hair.... (oh, and a fabulous personality, thank-you-very-much-I'm-SURE-she-got-that-from-me!!!)

but this appetite thing.... I mean, she sure has the drinking down pat, but what is it about her not liking solid foods??? helllllllo! red flag!!!! are you sure this is the same kid you pulled out of me????

I keep telling her what she's missing, and if she just trusts me and eats something..... anything.... that cappuccino-heath-bar-blizzards are not far behind! She is on the beginning of a venture into culinary delight... filled with fruits, vegetables, meats, pastas, cheeses, sauces, breads, desserts.... *drool*

but yet she resists.

I don't get it. Should I be adding a clove of garlic to her cereal, perhaps with some fresh cracked pepper? Perhaps I should quickly saute it and serve with drawn butter? I'm at a loss, people. I really am.

My little booger has now learned to laugh with her mouth closed. That whole "sneaking the food in while she's laughing" trick lasted all of about three times. When I prayed for a smart child, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

we made a little progress.... she almost ate a whole tablespoon of cereal a few times, then lost major ground when we started adding applesauce and peas. she did like the peas a little better than the applesauce, but now she's even passing on the plain cereal.

Essentially, we're now behind where we started, cause now she won't eat the food, AND she's hip to our distract-and-shove methods.

I'm following the 'persistent and consistent' advice my pediatrician gave us, but I can't help feeling a little exasperated. I just find it so damn strange that a product of the two biggest fans of food and eating in general has such a distaste for solids.

Maybe she's holding out for some chicken stuffed with asparagus, prosciutto, garlic and goat cheese. I can't say I blame her.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Culture Shock

Well--- as much as I *wanted* to make Wednesday my Culture Days.... things just didn't pan out that way these past two weeks. first we had Rhena's doctor appointment.... so that screwed the pooch for THAT week....

and this week I was busy with the in-laws.

although I do have to say I did have some exposure to *a* culture.....

in a cult-ish red necked way I suppose NASCAR fans kinda make up their own culture... if not their very own species.

I played the good daughter-in-law, though.... I participated in five whole days of subjection to NASCAR.

I gotta say---- I just don't get it. I mean, sure--- different strokes for different folks, but I just can't get the whole fascination with guys driving cars. TRUST ME.... I've had many many people point out the many many facets of the hillbilly highway.... and it just doesn't work for me.

I don't care about the engineering standpoint of the vehicles.
I don't care about the mechanical superiority of the engines.
I don't care about the sponsorship.
I don't care about the personal lives of these guys.

I think it's boring, and their t-shirts are downright tacky.

so why is it that so many NASCAR folk out there try to convince me otherwise? you don't see me trolling though living rooms and camp grounds across America telling these people the virtues of losing weight, not drinking beer from koozies, and well... maybe putting down the can of Skoal.

That's not fair... I shouldn't generalize. I know there's some perfectly normal people out there that enjoy cars going fast..... but y'all got to admit..... everyone knows at least one of THOSE race fans..... you know.... the kind that looks at their sister in that special kind of way?

oh well---- other than the over-abundance of NASCAR... it was a good visit. They're good people, and we're starting to act like a real family. I guess the biggest test will be when we get both sides of the family together for Rhena's birthday..... I mean; stranger things have happened!

For starters.... I actually survived 5 days of NASCAR. --- now THAT'S something I never would have bet on.

speaking of betting.... don't forget to put your vote in for this week's match-up. I think Derek was right--- this pairing *was* intended as a zing for him.... and deep down I'm pulling for RuPaul.

so go vote!!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

this week's match-up; The Royal Battle

first off... apologies that this is coming a day late.... I actually got 10 NASCAR-free minutes yesterday, and I snuck on to post.... stupid blogger site ate my post. I HATE when that happens!!!

So back to the match-up..... This week, I'm crunching in on the fact that I'm always touting the contenders as the King of this, or the Queen of that. So I got to thinking... why not pair up a REAL King and Queen????

No--- we're not going to pin Prince Charles against anyone.... good Lord.... that would be about 10 times more boring than the Pat-Alex match-up!!! Besides... he's only a Prince. screw that!!

That's right, readers..... you guys deserve a real king. (no, Susie... not the scary freaky plastic king.... you can open your eyes again!)

So without further ado... I give you .... in this corner...... the legend.... the King....


hound dog!!!

And who better to match hips with the Sultan of (blue) Suede Shoes, but a Queen of equally infamous proportions????

Ladies and Gentlemen.... and all of you who find yourselves in between..... I give you the most notable (drag) Queen in modern history.....



Will Elvis eat, drink, and drug himself to the crapper? Can RuPaul's towering height stay tall on those new heels (s)he just got??? Only two things are for certain in this week's match-up....

1--- RuPaul must do more than sashay and shontay if (s)he plans on taking over the keys to Graceland


2---- Only you guys can settle this Royal Battle once and for all.

do I need to say it? oh.... alright.....


Friday, April 15, 2005

And to the Victor goes the spoils....

well... this should go without saying, but....

Roseanne put a serious whompin' on Rosie.

With a record turnout, The Queen of Crass picked up 8 votes to Rosie's paltry 1. ....We even had one split decision. (which was pretty weak, Susie--- so don't try that shit again!!!)

So even though Ms. Trailer Park USA picked up that many votes, it's obvious they came with disgruntled offerings. It seems the only thing my reading audience hates more than these two fem-blobs is Paula Abdul.... I knew I love y'all for a reason!

Postings will be sparse next week---- my in-laws will be coming for a visit (they arrive sometime today???) so not sure how much 'net time I'll be getting. I'm sure I'll be subjected to an inhuman amount of NASCAR, which alone is a reason for venting in about 100 blog entries....

But family is family, so I will be a good sport and play along.

So have a fabulous weekend, my dear reader.... and be sure to check back on Monday... I think I have a good match cooking.


Thursday, April 14, 2005

Holy Moley

So originally I was thinking I would be posting about that show Revelations that was on last night.... then I thought I would be posting about my newest obsession, which happens to be a small looks-like-a-lump-of-shit mole that has been growing behind my ear. (hence the holy and moley for my title)

But the show--- well.... it was captivating, but I don't feel like I have any comments. Sure, I could say how it was freaky how the dude didn't bleed, or snapped his fingers and the plane stopped having turbulence.... there were freaky moments generously heaped throughout the hour.... I will give it that.

Otherwise, I can't say I have too much to say about it. I will continue to watch the show, as I find the storyline interesting... but I'm really lacking anything major to say about it. I will say that they need to keep the biblical passages up a little longer, though.... they have them start out blurry, and by the time I figure out that I can read them, they're popping off the screen. This could be because I'm getting old, though. It could also be because last night I was getting drunk.

That's right, I said it.... me. ......DRUNK. hah! ....and it was FUN!!!!!

I had some fruit concoction made from Troy's billion-dollar juicer. Rewind a little--- 2 nights ago he threw in a package of strawberries, a mango and a kiwi into the juicer... we ended up not drinking it the other night, so we decided to drink it last night. with rum. with glorious, delicious, Captain-oh-Captain, I LOVE YOU, my captain--- Morgan's rum.

This would have been wonderful if Troy didn't add an orange to it last night while I was putting Rhena to bed. --- How is it that when he was MAKING the juice that he asked if I wanted him to add an orange to the mix and I told him NO, because I don't LIKE oranges mixed all up with my fruity drinks..... that he still added one the next day???? ....I'd ask you what part of DO NOT ADD AN ORANGE got lost on him, but I'm afraid your guess is as good as mine.

SO we had 2 fruity drinks as a result. I sucked mine down really fast. one, cause I really didn't like it. I mean... it was ok, but since Troy never reads this blog, I can tell you--- not one of my favorites. SO like any good wife, I sucked and swallowed as fast as I could. (there was another Polish-inspired irrational thought that if I DRANK quicker, my body would get rid of the alcohol quicker, thus being safer for me to nurse Rhena when she woke up in the morning. I do not claim to understand where, when and how I come up with these thoughts... I just go with them, people....)

so long story short... he only drinks half of his fruit-drink-up, and offers the rest to me, cause he wanted a crown and coke. (cringe, cringe, you added that orange WHY?????) *sigh* Finally I took the drink and told him I would fix it. ....I fixed it alright... took it in the kitchen, dumped it, and fixed myself a whole new glass of Captain and diet sprite. now, orange I glad I did that??? you betcha!

SO that drink was also pretty much slammed down, and I watched the special about the DeVinci Code. There was more slamming going on in the next hour, but it was more in the form of me refuting the ridiculous crap they were saying about the M and V and 'look at this... this means something' in the painting of the last supper. and don't even get me started on the French making up that bullshit about Jesus having kids just so they can say their bloodlines are even more than royal. please. bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, I say!

So by the time Revelations came on, I was down from my raging loopy-disco-party, and had succommed to a gentle buzz. it could have been the Captain speaking, but again, I thought it was "aahight.... it was just aahight, dawg." like I said--- I'll watch it again next week... sober... and see what I really think.

as for the shit-o-matic mole action..... I'll be calling a doctor today. I tried calling yesterday, but the office was closed. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily scared..... ok, maybe a little..... but as I was telling my friends yesterday---- it's not just about me anymore. Rhena depends on me, and I need to do everything in my power to make sure, God-forbid-there-actually-is-something-wrong-with-the-mole, well--- to make sure I'm doing what I can to stick around as long as I can. enough said on that. I'll keep you posted.

Back to the holy end..... I need to perform a miracle today. Troy's parents are coming tomorrow for a visit..... food has to be bought, rooms cleaned, laundry folded, rugs vacuumed, and oh yeah.... take care of Rhena.

pray for me people..... I'm gonna need it!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Dear Paula,

will you PLEASE sit down and just SHUT UP????

seriously--- you're totally ruining my American Idol experience! EVERY freaking time someone sings a song with more than 5 beats per minute, you're up there, prancing and dancing like a stupid cheerleader.

guess what?


You don't EVER give constructive criticism, and personally... your outfits leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I'm not saying I like Randy-I-call-everyone-a-freaking-dawg-Jackson..... his opinion is about as useless as a fart in a windstorm, too......

it's just this, Paula.... you are NOT 21 anymore. you're not in a sorority, and your Lakers cheering days are long gone.

Please--- for the love of God and all things holy----- just shut up, stay seated, and let these kids have the spotlight!!!!

Next time I want to hear from you, I promise I'll put on classic VH1 and request a full hour of the three songs you released.

Now--- "you just keep believing people like you, cause you're just doing your thing, and that's what people really like about you, and wow, like, I mean... wow... you just keep doing what you do!!!!!"



side note--- the matchup is still going on.... Don't forget to put your vote in on the War of the Roses!!!

also-- thanks to all for your kind words re: my shitty monday. ----you guys are great, and I mean that in the most NON-Paula Abdul way!!! XXOO

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Brand New Day

So let's just say I'm really happy yesterday is over.

Yesterday was the kind of day that makes me wonder if I'm really cut out for motherhood. I'm not going to list all the things that went wrong or how long I sat in Rhena's rocker crying. Because that was yesterday.

Yesterday I watched the clock, counting the hours til Troy came home, and moreso, til I could put the creature I gave birth to bed. I wondered how my mother made it, how ANY woman does it, and how a 3650 sq ft house could feel so small.

Yesterday I mourned my dead social life, I longed for professional importance, and cursed my prison with the beautiful kitchen.

Yesterday I questioned my very own existence.

but that was yesterday.

Today is a brand new day, and my batteries are recharged. I'm ready to deal with the screaming, the crying, the mood swings, and oh yeah--- Rhena. Seriously....

I had one day of self-indulgent pity, and now I feel better. I really wouldn't have my life any other way.... so it seems silly in retrospect that I was even upset at all.

So yesterday is gone, and today is in my grasp. and today--- looking at my daughter with her eyes full of hope, anticipation, and soft amazement.... her smile open wide and full of love.... her tiny hands open to hold firmly to the secure possibilities the day presents to her....

well--- today is a very good day.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Monday's Matchup- War of the Roses

SO this week's match-up is brought to you by random late-night tv. Rhena's being a pill and I have laundry to do and a lawn to water, so I'm just going to cut to the chase....

in this corner......

Formally known as the Heavy-weight Queen of Bitchy Housewives.... now appearing in smaller trunks due to gastric bypass and several facelifts.....


and in the other corner.....

President of the 'I pretended to be Madonna's friend so I could boost my career and get a kid, but all along I just did it cause I thought she was hot' association.....


This should be an interesting fight.... they're both Masters of Blubber... whether it's on their ass or coming out of their mouths.... each with a horrible talk show that failed.... but one of these (ahem) LADIES should have some advantage..... and it's up to you to determine which.

What's your thoughts? or as I say each week----

ding ding----- let the match begin!

Friday, April 08, 2005

I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat!

the puzzle is... LOSER!

Well--- to further prove that I did not influence this week's voting in the Match-up of the Game Show Gringos..... I present your winner....

Alex Trebek!

I gotta say... I respect my reading audience, but ALEX????? *sigh* It just that I find him SO DAMN annoying.....

but that's cool. Pat gets on my nerves sometimes, too, and it's not like this award will make or break them, ya know?

I will make a confession, though---- I really really want to be on Wheel of Fortune. it's too much work to do their regular auditions, but if they ever come to Charlotte, you can bet your hairy hizzy I'm going to apply!!!!

Speaking of confessions.... have y'all heard about this project yet? It's called Post Secret, or something like that. It's a project where someone is collecting postcards that have secrets written on them. pretty interesting stuff. Go Here to check it out.

So that's it for now.... I have a ton of stuff to do today. One of these things is watching Rhena make kissy noises. it's not a full-on pucker, but she's got some lip-smacking going on, and she thinks it's hillarious.

you know something? she's right.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Culture Club

SO now that we've established that Rhena's pipes are in good working order, I figured it was safe to go out in public without TOO much fear of spontaneous combustion.

So have I said this yet??? I've recently decided that Wednesdays will be my CULTURE DAYS. I figured that since I'm back to living in an area that actually has museums, art galleries and the such... it's high time I get out there and check some stuff out. (Not that the tumbleweed viewings in Reno weren't TOTALLY AWESOME...... but this town seems a little more my speed.)

So today, Rhena and I ventured downtown. (actually UPtown Charlotte, but who's keeping score?) We went to the Levine Museum of the New South, and checked out an exhibit called Purses, Platforms, & Power.

I found it very cool that I was taking my 6 month old daughter to an exhibit about the power of women and the struggles they have overcome since and during the 70's. Is Rhena too young to know how much the road has been paved for her? perhaps. Was it ironic for me to be viewing a feminine-empowerment exhibit while I myself have conformed to the 50's stereo typical image of a stay at home mom? yeahhhhh, but no.

Just because I'm personally providing the care for my daughter in our own home on a 24 hour basis does not take away from who I am and what I have accomplished and overcome as a woman. Having a baby doesn't remove the fact that I attended a male-dominated university and was outnumbered 30-to-1 in my degree of aircraft engineering (or graduated as class president!). No longer having a paying job does not take away my professional achievements in an 'old boy club' company like Boeing. Wasn't it I who managed and supervised over $11 million dollars worth of projects one year in Amazon??? "No fellas... my hardhat was not pink, and yes... I created those autocad drawings."

Stereotypes? yeah.... I dealt with them. The sideways glances, the eye rolls in the beginning of my meetings, the rumors of promiscuity after promotions.... they came from all angles in my
years. Even now I get the looks.... as if being a stay-at-home-mom isn't good enough, or I'm not living up to my potential; career, personal or otherwise.

So the fact remains that no matter what I've done, at whatever stage of life... there's always been at least a critic or two to tell me what I'm doing is wrong or not good enough.

You know what I say to that?

screw 'em.

I'm very happy in my life, thank you very much. But yet---- this must be said. .

... I appreciate all that has been done by my predecessors to allow me the freedom to choose what exactly makes me happy. Without them, I would not have the chance to have 'been there, done that', and would have a very very limited perception of what my life could and should be like. (I also need to include my parents in this group of people, as without their constant support, I couldn't have done jack-shit...) AND FINALLY---- I salute the women (and men, but today is about the ladies) who continue to be out there now, allowing my daughter freedoms that I can't even dream of yet. Rock on, Ladies...... rock on!

Dear Rhena,

OK I'll admit... it's probably my own fault.

All those times I wished for just one day of no poop from you. Well.... I will admit it. I was wrong.

I mean, SURE... it was nice not having to change your outfit 100 times cause your diaper didn't-slash-COULDN'T hold the terror from within your bowels. And I'll admit it was nice to no see the shade of funky yellowish green for a whole 24 hours.

However... I was not prepared for the actual worry that would come with no poop. I mean, c'mon.... you could have at least TOLD me you were going to let yesterday be the day! I was actually stressing because the last time you didn't poop during a day was when you were TWO DAYS OLD.

Do you realize how LONG ago that was???????

I was still on hospital-approved medication!!!! (oh, I miss those days!)

But the point is... I didn't know enough to really worry back then. Now is another story. I have come to expect anywhere from 2-5 poops a day from you.... so imagine my surprise when lo and no-behold.... 24 hours and no doodoo.

But all is well now... perhaps the 4 glasses of applejuice I drank helped to clean out your pipes. (I know it helped clean out MINE!)

SO thanks for the day of rest, honey. I'm good for another 6 1/2 months.


ps... one last thing..... while we're on the subject.... was it really YOU who filled your diaper, or did you allow some wild DOG to come in and do the job for you? perhaps a Shetland pony? Who or whatever left that toxic waste might want to consider a job in the nuclear industry, cause that shit was a biohazard!!! But I LOVE YOU!!!!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Monday's Match-up... 4-4

ok... so I was watching the Contender last night, and as usual, Troy and I placed bets on who we thought would win. This week he picked first, so I got the cute Bible guy. well--- my guy lost.

So this had me thinking about who should face who in today's matchup... should I go with some type of Preacher theme, in honor of my fallen Bible Thumper?? Well, as luck would have it, a Burger King commercial came on and distracted me. So I though... maybe I should pin the king versus the old Mac Donald???

Lost in a sea of choices, I envisioned a big wheel (like at a carnival) with people's names on it... I could just spin it and let the wheel give me a name each week....

that's when it hit me.....




I decided to make my headliner this week the one and only Pat Sajak. ahhhh, but against WHO???

Vanna is all too tempting, but to keep things somewhat evenly matched up... I decided to go with Alex Trebek. You figure, they're both hosts, and typically one show follows the other's....

so ladies and gents... this week I give you, for your game-show pleasure:


what is ding ding?

Can all of those endless trivia answers formed in the phrase of a question help Alex outsmart Pat?

Has all of the years of wheel spinning given Pat an amazing left hook?

Just who will win the battle of the pre-primetime gameshow hosts??? Only you can tell, folks....

DING, DING..... let the voting begin.

Friday, April 01, 2005

April's Fools

Well, I know I need to post about the week in Disney and all the wonders of the world that I've seen, but Troy just called and said we're hosting dinner here tonight.

Unfortunately this is not an April's fools joke--- I really have 2 hours to finish the laundry and unpacking, straighten the house, and whip up a key lime pie and dinner. (make that one hour and 45 minutes by the time I'm done typing.)

But I did want to say a very Happy Birthday to my Dad. I feel like a shithead, cause we didn't do anything special for him. He's 60 today. SIXTY.

I know I've only known the guy for 32 (and a half) years, but I can say that during the years I have known him, I think the world is a better place. I'm not saying that cause he brought me into the world, (though that DOES pull some weight.....) I'm saying it because despite his rough and grumpy exterior, he is a kind hearted and generous man. He treats people with respect, and goes out of his way to do things for others. He does what he can to make things good, if at least only BETTER, for people. He's a sandwich guru, a tax man, a music aficionado, and a loyal bud drinker. He is so much to so many people, and I'm proud to say he's my daddy.

so Happy Birthday, Daddy.... thank you for another year of 'better'. I love you!

The Mouse Carries On

Well--- I'm sure if you checked out the comments section, you already know this, but the Mouse took the duck by one vote.

The final vote tally was 6-5 in favor of Mickey, and I have to tell you, I'm happy with this turnout. After being in the land of the big-eared rodent for the past week, I had a chance to observe the guy in action.

This character has his work cut out for him. A parade here, an appearance there... Breakfast at the Polynesan followed by a meet and greet on Main Street. The dude is in demand.

but the duck??? alas--- in the week I was there, I did not see Donald once. (save all the t-shirts etc) so what's up? You'd think he could show up somewhere once in a while to at least flap around or something, but nada.

So like I said--- I'm happy for the mouse on this one. He's done the legwork to keep up his fan base, and has earned the votes he got. Congrats, Champ... and thanks for a great week.