Sunday, April 27, 2008


so as I was telling a friend today... the SHORT story is that we do not have a dog.

the LONG story SHORT is that we did for a few hours today.

seriously, people.. I just can't make this shit up.

So I was talking on the phone with my mom (which, btw.. the visit with the inlaws was very nice. they had left this morning, and I was getting caught up with my mom and the events of recent NJ, including my niece Delaney's birthday party (which I still haven't sent her gift for (but last year she was the only one who got her gift on time, so I don't feel THAT bad)))

so I'm feeding Moosey his lunch, and I hear Troy asking me if we know of anyone that just got a puppy.. apparently one was walking down the street. Rhena wanted to see what was going on, so she headed up to the front door with Troy.

next thing I know.. a dog came streaking through our kitchen.

I immediately hung up the phone with my mom (which, btw.. if you ever are feeding your child while talking to your mom, it's probably not polite to hang up suddenly without calling back soon to let her know your child was not in danger of needing Heimlich or CPR or poison control or something)

streaking brown small dog then proceeded to jump up on my lap and lick me.

Thankfully rhena did not pee herself.. though she was so nervously excited that it's not a far stretch to think a tinkle or two may have come out. it was as if all the gods and santas had a meeting and decided she really WAS the prettiest girl and bestest kid and deserved a doggie. and had it delivered.

The dog had a tag, thankfully. Cookie was its.. uh, oh! make that a HIS name. no address, though.

so we 411'ed the animal hospital listed on his tag. hmmm. no answer.



in my house.

So... Troy finished up with the kids and loaded the thing.. I mean Cookie... into my car and we headed to the Animal hospital.

it was closed.

There was an emergency number listed on the door... so I called it. (listen.. I don't know how YOU roll, but me having a dog in my house constitutes an emergency)

apparently, the number was to a state-run organization, and they were unable to link into the particular Animal Hospital's records to find out the owner's information.

"you should just keep the dog and bring it back to the hospital in the morning" said the person on the emergency line.

I hung up.

At this point, Cookie was nestled into Rhena's car seat, and was making no overtures to leave my presence. oiy.

so what could I do? I mean.. I couldn't just let it go. I wasn't thrilled at the idea of bringing it HOME. one.. because it's a dog, and dogs do what dogs do, and I don't want no do in my house, if you catch my drift. TWO--- Rhena. ok.. Rhena and TROY. Troy has mentioned on several occasions his interest in getting a dog.

Let me be clear.. I LIKE dogs. I HAD a dog. TWO of them, actually. but I have kids now, and fuck me running, kids take WORK. and dogs??? ugh. I really, and I mean REALLY don't want to have another thing to clean up after.

and damnit.. Rhena had that LOOK when the dog was in the house. TROY had that look. For all I know DANNY would have had that look, too, if he wasn't too busy being worried that the thing might eat his snacks.

and I'll admit.. the little bugger was cute. SMALL. I like small. and the whole time it was in our house it didn't bark. I LIKE not barking. but NO. do NOT need to go there.

ok. so. dog. in the car. bleh. stupid dog! walked right in our house. I mean.. seriously!

I called someone I knew who has a small dog and asked if I could swing by and have some food. She laughed at the situation, but welcomed me to come by and pick up some stuff. She made no bones about reminding me that sometimes when dogs ate food different than what they're used to that they will have the runs. and she didn't mean a fast jog. AWESOME.

so Cookie and I went to get it some food. our friends suggested that we let it stay outside.. but of COURSE right then it started to rain. OF COURSE.

but this time, cookie had been part of my life for about 2 hours... and now HE was giving ME a look. seriously. I was wondering if this was some bad joke that Troy was trying to pull.

I canvased stepford on my way home from our friends'... stopping to talk to anyone that happened to still be out in the sprinkling rain. on my last-chance-saloon-hail-mary-let's-go-this-one-last-street, I found two men gabbing out in their driveways. while they had not seen anyone looking for a dog, one asked what kind of dog it was.

I described my little castaway, and the man knew who the owner was. he gave me the address/description of the house... and off we went.

Thankfully, I was able to return Cookie to his rightful home. They were appreciative, as was *I* that I did not have to bring home Cookie, only to have to take him away from Rhena once more.

Naturally, when I returned home, dog-less... rhena asked if she could get a doggie like that someday. I told her maybe.. when she was older.

what I did NOT say, however, that by 'older', I mean when she's 20, and not living here.

I guess I'll cross that bridge another time.


Marianna said...

I think Carrie needs a doggy.


Laura said...

I am still giggling about "and she didn't mean a fast jog".

We've been wrestling with this, too. I want one, Erin would sell her soul to the checker at Weis for one (that soul costs one puppy, cha ching! Done), but with working full time, I'm not home enough to care for a puppy right now. It wouldn't be fair.

We're so mean, you know.

Porq said...

Remember, "Yes Daddy, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF IT" ?????

Uncle Richie & Aunt Mary's kitchen when they brought home their "CHIPPER".

(at least Peter never bite me!!)


Christi said...

I am wanting a small dog SO bad lately. It's probably a good thing that we are renting this house from my mom for a while till we figure out what we want to do, and that she flat out refuses to let us have one here. However, I don't feel that way, and it has created a huge bunch of hard feelings b/t us. I spend my days trying to figure out how to get around her telling me no!

Elvis said...

There has been nothing less than clarity in my message that if any "pet" was to be acquired - it would be one that is edible.
If that pet crossed the line with me, I want the legal option of having it for dinner.

Pot-bellied baby backs, bacon, loin...


Hänni said...

I want a dog. But only if someone else walks it and cleans up it's shit.

It will be a poodle. I will dye him pink. His name will be Francois.