Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Little Engine that Could

Dear Stepford Parents -

please stop. I'm not kidding. the parties are KILLING me. A couple of weeks ago, I took rhena to a birthday party at a house that made Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion look like a double-wide trailer. I shit you not... the POOL house alone was bigger than my backyard. Let's not mention the LOT that was sectioned off for the industrial PARK-sized play area, or the other lot they had for a volleyball court.

when my folks were here, we had yet another birthday to attend. This one was a Thomas theme, and for a little boy turning two on my street. Since it was at a house on my street, I knew I wouldn't have to feel TOO ghetto for gawking at everything I saw.

however.

They rented a little blue train. yeah.


so we all got on the train and it choo-chooed around the neighborhood. To say my kids were excited would be an understatement. To say that every child we passed on the street was JEALOUS would be an understatement. SO happy Danny still wears diapers, as he was squealing so much, I have no doubt he was pissing himself from excitement the whole time.



As for Rhena... the girl who had JUST had her nose cauterized and was STILL milking my guilt for having her go through the ordeal... well... she seemed to be able to rise above the pain for long enough to enjoy the train.



So while I am INDEED happy at how much my kids enjoyed attending these parties.. I'm STILL putting the plea out there for this kind of shit to stop. all I have are cookies, and the occasional cute invitation. kids are gonna be a tad disappointed when it comes to a Johnson party.

I jest. I love the parties, and I'm totally fine with what we do for our kids. I'm totally not gonna get into that whole 'keeping up with stepford' mentality. I mean.. if worse comes to worse... I MIGHT start putting REALLY LOUD toys and SUGARY CANDY in the favor bags.... but that's all.

party on!


11 comments:

Erin said...

Are you kidding me? I'm sorry but that's absurd. A train? Really?! It's a birthday party. Why does everyone think that all occasions have to mimic an episode of my Super Sweet 16?

Angela said...

My child is so screwed. We are planning his birthday party around a college football game that we have tickets to. :-) I will be in trouble when the parties start to include more than just family!

Christi said...

I've contemplated renting a bounce house, but I've decided it's too much money and to-do. I'm glad all my friends are broke like me!

Carrie said...

I KNOW!!!


really... I mean.. 2 years old?

I can see doing something fun and memorable for let's say.. a KID THAT CAN REMEMBER??

I get that all the froo-froo stuff is for the parents and impressing THEM and stuff... but if somebody wants to impress ME?

give me food. and a lot of it.

better yet.. make it GOOD food.


just sayin'.

Kelli said...

Wow. Makes the party I just threw for my daughter look like a torture chamber.

And WHY did I not know that about Rhena's nose?? Fill me in, momma. I feel behind. Or maybe I should feel like A behind for being so out of touch.

Cathy said...

Om my god.
I would move.
Seriously.

At least you've got your cookies to Wow everyone with!

raisingtheboys said...

My only question is what kind of shit are they gonna be rolling through the streets when the kids are older? Escalades? Iron Man jet suits?

The way we roll out here is Chuck E. Cheese and Inflatable Hell Zones. That's about it. Maybe a pony ride or magician.

raisingtheboys said...

My only question is what kind of shit are they gonna be rolling through the streets when the kids are older? Escalades? Iron Man jet suits?

The way we roll out here is Chuck E. Cheese and Inflatable Hell Zones. That's about it. Maybe a pony ride or magician.

Erin said...

That is nuts. I've heard about thousand-dollar toddler birthday parties. Ridiculous. I agree with you on the sugary-candy filled bags though. Hee hee.

carrie said...

For the next party I'm handing out vitamins and bottles of water.

Seriously.

Christie said...

First off, your kids are looking darn cute, my dear. Second, what is with those parties? When I was growing up we were happy if we got cake with a scoop of ice cream. A Thomas train? Seriously? Perhaps I should call the zoo now to see how much it costs to rent it our for an afternoon event. Nah, I'll just throw a couple presents at the kid and call it good.