I think I'm coming down with something

ugggg..... so all day yesterday I kinda had a sore throat and the shits. (no... not directly related to each other... for all those weirdos that keep coming here for asshole fever..... just kinda both hitting me at the same time...) I know that's kinda gross... but listen... you weren't here, so at least be thankful for that.


What makes me CONFIDENT, however, that indeed something is wrong with me... is that last night, Paula really only bugged me ONCE... if at all!!!!

no, no... she DID bug me once... when the I-have-lots-and-lots-of-teeth 24 year old breathy singer was doing his thing. It bugged me how she just sat there and smirked, imagining all the things she could do with him, since he was actually legal to be having things done with.

Side note... is it me, or has anyone else noticed that whenever Paula REALLY likes a boy, she does this whole passive-aggressive thing where she sits up straight and takes charge of the voting??? "Randy?? what do YOU think??? Simon??? " Cause you know inside she's wiggling with delight with her "PRIVATE BIG GIRL THOUGHTS". ew.



Speaking of BIG GIRL..... have I mentioned lately that Mariah Carey is a fat sleezebag??? I was laying in bed this morning, slowly trying to just swallow (yes.. throat still hurts a little today.... no shits yet, though, so that's good. Though I AM drinking coffee... so that could change my bathroom activity right quick...)


ANYWAYS........... I was laying there this morning thinking that our dear pal Mariah is starting to remind me a lot of KIRSTIE ALLEY!!! (pre-Jenny-weight-watchers-fast program days) take a look for yourself.....


















Again... no disrespect to the former Cheers Kitten.... I know she's just trying to do her own thing.... I was just saying... I think we could pretty much do a Monday-Match-up with these two, being that they're probably in the same weight class these days......


But enough about that.


Things go on as usual here in Johnson-ville.... I had to go to Wall-fart yesterday to buy the dear-Lord-I-hate-this-place-so-let-me-get-at-least-two-months'-worth-so-I-don't-have-to-do-this-again-for-a-while diaper stash. I think when Rhena gets to the age where she could even remotely CONSIDER having sex, I'm going to bring her to Wall-Fart repeatedly, telling her that if she ever has sex, she'll get pregnant, and will be forced to go there over and over again to buy diapers because they are the cheapest around for miles and miles. If a half-hour trip to Wall-fart every day doesn't knock some sense into her, I may beef it up with a soundtrack of a screaming child, or the smell of baby vomit on her clothes and in the infants' section in general.


but what else???

Last night I did NOT receive a live telecast from the bon-jovi concert.... (he was here in Charlotte) my friend that was supposed to go ended up NOT going, so boo-hoo... no 10pm phone calls.


I've been pleasantly amused with Laura's comments as of late. She's been taking to 'singing' in her comments. I'm hoping today I'll get another... thinking maybe the Cheers theme song, in honor of Kirstie??


Also had two new posters lately... so welcome to the madness, novaks8 and dakotablueeyes....


I'm sure there are other things to post about, but the coffee is starting to kick in, and I think I should probably shower.



Do your taxes, folks!!!!



johnson...out!


PS... for shits and giggles.... go ahead and throw a vote for Mariah or Kirstie while you're at it.... it's been a long time since we had a match-up, and like I said... same weight class and everything.....

so DING DING!!!!