That kinda sucked

well... so much for my fabulous weekend with my girlfriend from Seattle.


Apparently, my stomach decided it WASN'T done throwing up every imaginable everything every other hour or so.


so let me back up a little.

when I had a run of about 12 hours with not-getting-sick... we thought we would take a stab at going out on Friday night.

people.... I put on makeup!!!! we're talking major night out here!!!


so I got all gussied up, poofed the hair, fluffed the twins, and headed out to a night with my friend. no child screaming... no husband... just me... her, and OTHER ADULTS. OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE. so off we went!!!!

It was a great night... a little brisk, but there was that 'friday night' vibe in the air. it took me a little while to recognize it, but by the time we hit up the ATM, I could feel it in the click of my heels (that's right... I said HEELS!!!!) and this mama was ready to PARRRRRR TAHY!

The restaurant was packed... there were PEOPLE (adults!! everywhere I looked!!!) milling around, laughing... ordering drinks.... it was so damn normal, it felt surreal. so we sat down, and our cute waiter boy flirted with my girlfriend as we ordered.


My head was dizzy with sweet expectations of three or four courses to be ordered, and EATEN while STILL HOT!!! (or still cold.... either way... NOT ROOM TEMPERATURE!!!!) and enjoyed WITHOUT RHENA ON MY LAP!!!!!!! I would indeed be able to use BOTH HANDS TO EAT!!! you know... that crazy notion of using my utensils correctly??? With my potato cakes appetizer and lemon chicken entree ordered, I was in heaven. I probably could have peed myself.

sad to say, though, I took one bite of my appetizer, and immediately knew no more food should or WOULD be going in the IN door of my mouth for the rest of that night.


All at once, the flush sweaty fever that starts at the base of my spine and rushes up to my head and enshrouds me like a helmet took over my every move.

my throat closed.


my lungs began to melt.

dare I say it, but I think my wrists were sweating, too. Downward spiral party of one? yes, YOUR table is now available!


my friend was a good sport, and we got everything wrapped to go as I busted out my lamaze breathing techniques. Baby, shmaby.... this kind of breathing is needed for exorcisms!!!


so we made it home, and yes... RALPH and I had many many many conversations throughout the night.


so much for the makeup......



but now that my friend is back in seattle, and I'm actually keeping food IN ME.... I'm bummed about timing. hellllllew??? WHY couldn't I have been sick LAST week when she wasn't here??? or THIS week, after she left???? talk about fuckernuts!!!!

however.... as bummed as I am.... I DO realize that even though the night or weekend wasn't what we had planned... it was good in terms that I know where I stand with my friend.


She didn't bitch once about flying all the way out here to watch me sleep and throw up all weekend. she didn't bat an eye when I made her "WALK FASTER WALK FASTER WALK FASTER...... oh wait... no no no... I can't move... go slow go slow go slow...." and she told me at LEAST ten times how pretty I looked that night.


so yeah.... it sucked... but it was ok. and even though it was short-lived... I did get to go out.


and that one tiny bite of potato cakes???? TOTALLY worth it!!!