Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A Rare Find

so yesterday, I was doodling around on the computer, and I decided to check out my stats page. In my reporting pages, i get a list of search phrases people have used in order to end up at my blog.

The search engines used are Google, MSN, and Yahoo, from what I can tell... but that's not the interesting part. the shit I'm utterly FASCINATED by... and I'll admit... just a *TEENY* bit creeped out by is WHAT people are searching for. For example.. who knew Susan Lucci had such a strong hold on the internet??? (and such a strong connection to my blog??? WHY DO YOU HAUNT ME SUSAN??? WHY??????) and what's the fascination with Rachel ray half-dressed???? anyways... have a look for yourself.... I also listed HOW MANY TIMES each phrase was entered to get people to here.... and you KNOW I couldn't help but add my own commentary as well....

enjoy! (this list was edited to remove the boring and understandable searches)

how old is susan lucci 7 - seriously... not sure if ANYONE knows this answer
fuzzy naval - 5 - gotta love how drink searches point towards me.
petocin 5 - as in... PETOCIN didn't do SHIT to help my labor progress???
corn 5 - as in corny-funny, or corn the vegetable? I'm not getting this one
ass hole fever 3 - oh yeah... I got a fever for the flavor of an asshole??? EWWWW!
e cards for rude people 3 - this is just classic, and I'm sure my brother will love the fact that I'm pointed to when it somes to cards for rude people. CLASSIC, I tell you!
ding fever 2 - don't even WANT to play the "as in?" game here......
pictures of dirty tinkerbell 2 - Fairy fetish, party of two???? you're table's ready!
hot naked children boy 2 - Make that a table of four.... in JAIL, you sick motherfuckers....
jack daniels slushie 2 - this actually sounds pretty good right now!
belly button sweater 2 - must... stop... the .... visual!!!!
fuzzy naval drink 2 - as compared to a hairy belly button wearing a sweater?
Belly button pictures of teachers 2 - Van Halen anyone?
blog jon farriss 2 - did I MENTION I used to love INXS???? love love love INXS!
THE IJDM GROUP 2 - from the latin proverb... It Just Doesn't Matter....
staying alive the song 2 - yeah bitches.. I got disco.... come get it!
"girl burping" 2 - now playing every other soda....
mammories 2 - well, it's pretty obvious why they ended up here for that!
A Tale Of Two Titties 2 - that was SUCH a great blog post title!
wicked monsters 2 - these two people must have been searching in Boston... wicked cool!
"WHERE MY REAL DOGS AT?" 2 - I'm gonna say back in the 90's where you got that saying, jackass!
mariah carrie 2- I can never pass up an opportunity to remark how fat nasty whorey Mariah is!
Dum-dah-dah, dum-duh-duh rocky soundtrack 2 - dude... who TYPES this shit????
on what day is MadHatter Day celebrated? 1 - good question! anyone? anyone??? Bueller???
dirty johnson 1 - Troy might be happy to know about this one...
pictures of rapper lucky lucciano 1 - huh???? has Rhena been posting shit again???
what does chimichanga mean 1 --Heartburn... in Taco Bell, that is!
picture of paula abdul crying over constantine 1 - I can NOT WAIT for another season of bagging on paula!!!!
susan lucci + how old 1 -give up, people.. no one's talking!
a cheerleader that poops while cheering 1 --HAH!!!! that's actually some funny shit! (get it... SHIT???)
ijdm 1 - see above...
Rachel Ray bikini 1 - for thrirty-minute tan lines?
rum jungle girls 1 - once upon a time when I was allowed in vegas, this would make sense... not so much these days....
What is the name of Mike Brady's architectural firm in Brady Bunch? 1 -- another good question!!! anyone know it??
rachel ray bra 1 - now available for purchase at a cooking store near you?
what is a scoundrel 1 - go ask webster, and leave me alone!
the Lakers song" are you ready for this?" 1 - I believe it was Technotronic.... I could be wrong though.
her stump muscles 1 - "my stump, my stumps... my lovely LADY STUMPS! check it out!"
fever exotic dancer 1 - why yes I am, thank you very much!
tri star vacuum 1 - they still suck, btw....
f.c.i. memphis murder 1 - noooooooo clue about this one!
"tri star vacuum" 1 - still sucking!
did elvis presley wore diapers on stage 1 - I think even I don't want to know the answer to this...
girls with big feet have 1 - big shoes? incomplete sentences???
stomach pains and crapping blood 1 - always nice to know there are other sout there like me...
period aunt flo crimson 1 - why yes... she IS in town this week... thanks for asking!
johnson paint 1 - as in the BRAND, or paint for the johnson???
tri-star vacuum 1 --- do I need to say it?
pregnancy pictures-belly shots 1 - kinda creepy....
sneakers doodling 1 --- actually, we doodle with PENS around here... not our sneakers... sheesh!
the way should talk about sex 1 -- I'm going to recommend using a complete sentence as a start....
hat fever and balance instability 1 - WTF????
rappin john wayne 1 - CLASSIC!!!
da ha john wayne 1 --- - you KNOW you're going to be singing it all day now!!!
tuaca stomach 1 --- ugggg... been there... had that!
picture of Charlie brown kite eating tree on a shirt 1--- classic!
Magnum PI anthem 1 --- you're KIDDING me right???
Susan Lucci 1 --- I must be the expert on the lady
OLD "SUSAN LUCCI" 1 --- looks the same as a YOUNG susan lucci
susan lucci & family 1 -- she HAS a family??? but she's like the undead!
words to the song little rabbit froo froo 1 -- all I know is he was hopping through the forest
free mommies titties 1 --- nothing's free. ever.
perfect juicy ass 1 --- that's it??? ONLY ONE HIT???? damn... I got to start working out again!
free edible candy poops candy seeds 1.... I can still hear the lambs!!!!! make them stop!
"damsel in distress" gas 1---- as compared to 'damsel in good mood' gas????
wives riding harleys nude 1 -- gonna go with no way in how on this one, gang...
rupaul, hormones 1 -- work it, girl!
"shit fire and save matches" 1 - That's just funny. I need to say that more!
crandberry jello salad 1 - as compared to it's better known cousin cranberry jello salad...
my husband wears my panties and i like it. 1 - WOW.... OOOOKAAAAY then!
fat nude kid boy chub young 1 - ewww. gross people! There's some sick ass motherfuckers out there...
rude christmas e cards 1 -- I should start a business!!
fat mariah carrie 1 --- why yes she is..... even though it's mariah CAREY
plop plop little bitch 1 -- oh what a relief it is??
ass fever 1 --- asses are a popular subject, huh?
nude blogspot 1--- nope... not here... but thanks for trying! drive through, please!
www.Kentucky horseshit paper weight.com 1 - I got nothing. this one is on its own.

so there you have it... or at least there you have SOME of it. regardless of what people type in to get here... you just gotta love a list that ends with Kentucky Horseshit paperweight. (dot com, no less.....)

have a great day, gang!


Laina said...

LMAO, but I too am a little weirded out by some of the fucking perverts out there. WTF is wrong with people?!

greekchickie said...


You get some of the weirdest blog hits. I get "greek blog" consistently, but that's about it.


dnyduck said...


Almost makes me want to start working on my Blog again.....if I had the time.

Miss ya babe! It seems as though when I ACTUALLY make it on the NN site to chat for a minute you aren't there....and probably the same for you. Hope all is going well for you, Troy and the little Tink. (Speaking of....thanks for her pic. it's up on the frig. as we speak.)


Kari said...

...sooo, the belly button sweater....is that like, a sweater that looks like a belly button? A sweater made out of belly button lint? Or a sweater showing off your belly button?


Susie said...

Dude - I get sick looking at my stas search stuff. Shit like "half naked diaper" and would you belive "moosemunch."

gina said...

i want that stat thing to see what sick MF's are looking at my site! Carrie, help a girl out and put one on my blog...?

Liza said...

Oh my gosh I can't stop laughing!!!! That's great!

Mr. Apropos said...

Haha, I feel your pain. For reasons I can't explain, #20 for me last month was "britain's biggest boobs contest" which was just edged out by "proxima centauri". The former is at least fun, the second.... I just don't get it.