Wednesday, January 18, 2006

We interrupt this broadcast...

sorry gang.... I was full of high hopes and running on a sour stomach last night. I really really wanted to talk about how much of a obvious pedophilia Paula from American Idol is...

but this girl.....

Crystal Parizanski, some 16-year-old gone horribly HORRIBLY wrong..... just had to be poked at.

It's NOT that she was a horrible singer... cause BELIEVE ME..... she was definitely sucking big time!!! it was a combination of her HORRIBLE makeup, her LACK of any form of brain cells.... and her cheap-ass-meth-looking whorebagging mother.

I don't know whether to really earnestly laugh or be sad. I believe under all that fake tanning and inches of makeup, there is a beautiful little girl... provided she keeps her mouth shut, that is. The mother was at least sensible enough to NOT open her mouth too much when she, too, was called into the judging room.

Perhaps Mama Parizanski was watching Mama Hilton the other day and took her wardrobe cues from her.... but just short of busting out more Mariah-Carey-is-fat comments... I'm gonna have to say Mama P looked like shit.

and as for Crystal... well, I bet her and the Ukrainian chick can get together and start a strip club. The 'dancers' don't have to talk in strip clubs, do they???

oiy, vey... it's gonna be a long season.

Johnson, out!


CheekyMoo said...

The problem with Crystal was she couldn't even say a complete sentence. She had this weird mumbling thing going on. I think it was meth, and poor parenting. Her mother. I was so glad Simon brought her in so they could see what we saw.

I hope one of these young men sing Mrs. Robinson to Paula. That's a sure ticket to go to Hollywood.

Elvis said...

I was so waiting to hear you rip on Crystal. I was forced to watch Idol last night with the Wife(TM), and I had to point out with agreement that Crystal would be the target of your blog today.

Yikes. Seriously, I've discovered more intelligence and sentience from stuff I "found" in the back of my fridge.

Christi said...

I DVR'd it, but we had to cancel it so we could watch our rented movie. I so wish I could have seen it. Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll replay it?.....

dnyduck said...

Hey babe! Just thought I would pop on and see how you are doing. I see that you are being you same young self....trash talking! :) That's the Carrie that I love! I wish I could trash talk with ya, but I don't watch AI....I just can't handle the screeching. And if I start it's like a train reck, I can't pull myself away when it hurts.

But tonight..... tonight it is LOST night! I will be putting Devin down early and Kev and the girls know better than to set foot into the bedroom on Wednesday nights once LOST has started.

I looks like you had a great holiday. Love the little booger's pictures!

How are things over at the NN boards? Am I missing anything? Guess I need to pop on if I can today. I made it two days in a row last week! I thought hell was going to freeze over. :)

Okay....I am rambling now. You know me....can't shut me up once I get started. So I'm stopping now....honest, I am.

Miss ya babe! Hugs to the kido. Tell everyone at NN I said hi and I will try to pop on.


Laura said...

Ok..I read your email at like ten after nine and quick RAN upstairs to see if it was still on...I caught Crystal and laughed because she is from my old neck of the woods. Scarrrry. I felt bad for Ukraine girl.
(Give me your best Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle here...)

Mama..joost kilt a mahn.
Put a gahn ahp to his head.
Pullt de triggah, now he dead.

She looked genuinely upset though...
I'll have to do some reasearch on how this show works since they pulled 34 people from Chicago alone...good Lord, I may be hooked.

gina said...

my DH called it about the Ukrainian girl- said she had to make the show so she could get an entertainment visa! BA HA HAHAHAHAH.

poor crystal. and simon going on about her TAN. omg! i honestly felt bad for her.

Jewl said...

I only watch AI when the auditions are on, that is it. I have no clue who wins or what goes on afterwards... BUT I love watching people make an ass out of themselves!! LOL I loved the whole Crystal and Mom thing... I wonder what they were thinking when they watched themselves on TV? I can't believe they actually think they looked good or she could sing for that matter...

Anonymous said...

That was the funniest crap I have ever seen!
We laughed SO hard!

The girl looked like a cross between Paris Hilton. Britney Spears and Ashlee Simpson...but the WORST of all them!

YES Paula is smitten with that one teenage boy!
I was cracking on her SO HARD.

(and I am the one who posted Drake Bell's picture on my blog....uh, he is LEGAL at least!)

What can I say...i am a pathetic housewife and small things amuse me.

Anonymous said...

Heads up- I blogrolled you.

now I can't figure out where I found your blog!

Maybe a blogring? I was looking at some last week.

Check out the Blue Sloth on my blogroll- he is in your area.

dakotablueeyes said...

I was thinking true airhead in every sense of the word. Way to tan too and the mom lol as soon as she walked in the room I laughed

Liza said...

hehe...oh man, beth and i watched her...we couldn't stop laughing. i felt a bit bad for her becuse i think she has some brain cells stuck to the side of brain somewhere that has melded to the part that controls the part of woman that know how to put makeup on.

greekchickie said...

Wow ~ this chick was only 16?? She sure looked a lot older!


Jenni said...

damn the channel surfing...i MISSED this girl! I saw a quick clip of her, but missed the actual audition. Why does she have on different clothes in the 2 pics? Did she get to try out twice or something?

I LOVE AI tryouts....the best part of the season!

And I hear they are in North Carolina next week---bring on the southern freaks!! :-)

Miss you girl!