Thursday, July 13, 2006

Superhams Return

no... this is not a spoof on the newest Superman movie... nor is it my newest idea for a porn title.


this is, indeed.. my truth.


why?


because I'm hitting that stage of the pregnancy where my boobs are getting LARGER.


yes.... you may or may not remember the hams... depending on your level of testosterone, that is. but alas... as much as I thought I could fight them this time around... the jugs be a fillin'. and filling and spilling they are. like everywhere.


i swear last night I went to bed, took off my bra and thought I had two cantaloupes hiding under my tank top. MELONS, I tell you!


I mean, I'm not shocked.. I KNEW this would happen... (at least eventually when the milk came in) I guess it's just cause with Rhena, my boobs exploded on the scene like the MINUTE I got pregnant, and now, here we are.. more than halfway through, and they've decided to kick off the reunion tour.


The former victoria's secret employee in me wants to bust out the tape measure (get it?? BUST out??? oh... I really do slay!) and see how big they've gotten... but the cheap realistic-parachute-sized-bra-fearing girl in me feels ignorance might just be bliss. Besides... doesn't the 4-boob syndrome look hot with the 80's retro layered daft punk look all the stores are sporting these days?

(ps.. if I EVER, and I mean EVER start sporting four boobs or show up somewhere looking like Pat Benetar.. SOMEONE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE shoot me!!) (well, unless, of course, we're hosting a white-trash or 80's themed social... in which case the 4-boobs look would be SO rockin, and/or me and david bowie can get jiggy, so please don't shoot me in my own house.. that would be just plain rude.)


I digress. sadly, my boobs have NOT... which is my spot today, though.

I *imagine* it might just might have to do with all the bagels I've been eating. and the pasta. and rice. and other bland starchy foods that aren't as harsh when being regurgitated, that is. they should be called carb-OH-MY-drates... cause again... the rack is back.


and for all you mosquito-biters out there that are thinking I should quit my bitching, and how you'd just give whatever to get some ham thrown your way... just remember it's not your back breaking under the pressure of boulder mountain above your belly-donut.

In other news... I had to turn word verification back on... I've been getting a long run of spammage lately, so back to the "qdzzles" to be able to post your comments. I know it's a pain in the ass, so I apologize. I appreciate the comments from my readers, though... (and not the penis-enlargement-house-broker ads (yes.. I DO get spammage like that.) (no.... I have no idea why in hell I want a large penis house either...))


so yeah. letter verification is back on for the time being.


in GOOD news... I'm going to be acquiring some books soon. I found links to two old books that i had when I was growing up, and I am fucking STOKED about getting them again. I'm not posting links or saying names because these books are out of print, so I need to buy them from a third-party seller, and I don't want any penis-enlarging real estate agent to come in and snatch up my books before I can. no sirree, bob.... I'll post more after they're in my grubby little hands!

all I can say is that one is about beans and another is about trees, and I'm going to pay too much money for them. The only people who MIGHT guess my books are my mom, dad, or brother... cause they were pretty obscure even back then. but I LOVED them. love love loved them. and they're going to be mine. mine mine mine.


I'll also be ordering "The Snowy Day" for rhena and thing 2. CLASSIC book. I saw it mentioned in a magazine the other day, and I remembered it instantly. not so much the story itself (the book probably sucks for all I know) but I do remember sitting on our back porch when it was balls-ass hot out, reading this story. (yes, I know it's a winter book, but you can still read shit in the summer, smart-ass!) I definitely remember the illustrations.

perhaps I'm trying to zone-in on Rhena's head and get her books that she'll remember some thirty years down the road. because that would be cool. to think that someday rhena will remember reading books with me and hopefully want to share those books with HER children (should she choose to go down that road, cause if she doesn't I'm TOTALLY cool with that as well) And then there's the part of me that knows that I WAS a happy kid, and I want to share that with her, too.


so yeah. books are coming. In the meantime, she seems perfectly happy to have Boo-Boo-Pea read to her over and over again... and that in itself will be something *I* will remember another 30 years down the road.

5 comments:

Jodes said...

carrie-o- in my humble opinion, 'the snowy day' rocks! i had it growing up and dov loves it now. and yes, we read it with the sweltering heat out too. i can't wait to find out what the other books are...

gina said...

god. first christi's boob blog then yours? yikes.lol

i love snowy day.

greekchickie said...

My fave series growing up was Nancy Drew. I loved that gal. I would love to have her books again.

M~

Christi said...

Alright, that's just a LOT freaky! I swear I didn't have a clue you were going down that road...although my hubby said there was nothing appealing about reading about my boobs today! Perhaps he would prefer yours instead!

On another note, Karla (listed on my blogroll) is prego, and wrote about eating carbs today. Go figure!

My favorite book growing up was There's a Monster at the End of This Book, with Lovable, Furry Old Grover! Of course as soon as TJ even looked in the direction of a book, it was the first thing I ran out and bought for him....and every other baby I knew!

Liza said...

you used to work at VS? did you get discounts? do you still get discounts? if you do, can i pretend i'm you just long enough to get some new bras, maybe some lotion, and some cute clothes? haha!!

you know...i have big boobs. most of hte time i love them. but they dont make strapless bras big enough for me so it is causing problems for my wedding dress. damn my boobies!! i want a breast reduction. i want to be back to a normal size. when i get preggo, will i go up to like a EEE? haha