Friday, July 14, 2006

Hurricane Rhena

do you ever have those days that you feel like you're walking in the wake of a mini hurricane?

like no matter what you do or where you go, shit is all jacked up???

today is one of those days for me.. or at least started off being so.

boogie woke up this morning, and when I went in to get her... her face was covered in dried blood. blood on her pj's, blood on the sheets. blood on the blankets, blood on Mr. Pink. SO I stripped her crib (mind you I'm NOT going to even elaborate on how REDONKULOUS (three levels worse than ridiculous, by-the-by) I looked breaking a sweat trying to get that stupid-ass mattress out of the crib when it was hooked on the metal spring supports and then got stuck on the bumper, and did I tell you the angle I was trying to pull all of this shit out hurt like a SONOFABITCH on my uterus and did I mention changing her crib sheets makes me sweat? I HATE SWEATING!!!!)

so I take the sheets to the laundry room and holy mildew batman... SOMEONE (cough cough troy cough cough) forgot to switch the clothes into the dryer, so the clothes in the washer were more funky than George Clinton. which means they needed to be rewashed, which means sheets would have to wait.

so after THAT mess was taken care of, there was the downstairs edition of "what in hell did troy make himself for breakfast and why oh why is every inch of the counter covered with something" game that I just LOVE playing. fast forward (with a number of milk spills in between) about 2 hours later, and rhena's cuddling up on me sucking her thumb. ok.. I can dig it.. child wants to nap!

so I lay her down in the stripped crib, after, of course, setting up a make-shift sheet/blanket combo that would be suitable for princess tired-ass.

what? did I say tired? cause it would so happen that as SOON as I closed the door, she started in on a half-hour long operetta of whelps, barks, screams and blasting off.


ok, fine. so I get her, and it turns out, she wasn't tired.. she wanted to crap. and THAT she did. ALL OVER HER ASS. that motherfucker was so nasty, I knew I needed a shower just after changing her, so that's what I did. Got rhena all squared away, and popped in the shower.

just as I was shutting the water off... rhena comes zipping around the corner looking slightly blue, saying 'uh-oh' and smelling of pina colada. Turns out she had found one of troy's FULL canisters of Bed Head Manipulator, and decided to spread the love. all over.

once again, I'll spare you the intimate details, but let's just say I will have the most full-bodied carpet with a strong-all-day-hold in pretty much all of north carolina. and that's AFTER the 20-minute clean-up job.

did I MENTION this shit smells like a tropical drink which I was really really wishing I was able to guzzle??? but alas.. no alcohol for mama... must not deform the one within.

a few games of chase-rhena-cause-it's-fun-watching-mommy-sweat-today later, and we were finally on our way to see "DAHYEE" so we three could have lunch.

now we're back home again, and boogie-two-shoes is fast asleep. lots of stuff still needs to be done around here... like the laundry, and finding the counter tops again.... but I think that can wait til my little moosh can 'help' me. right now I'm enjoying the quiet after the storm, and if I can just get the one within to stop kicking the ever-loving piss out of me.. I may even take a small nap.

happy friday, gang. watch out for hurricanes!


Laina said...

I'm sure it wasn't as funny at the time as it seems now, but I'm totally LMAO at this whole story. I think only another mom could truly appreciate the destruction they can wreck. Did you ever figure out where the blood was coming from?

Taylor said...

OMG let me just tell you that you just wrote the story of MY LIFE! I am LMAO, I feel like I was there watching it all. That is SO how it is around here everyday. I work my ass off to clean the place to turn around and find it destroyed again. I've pondered just not cleaning ever and seeing what happens...LOL.

Yeh, so where did the blood come from?

Atleast your kid will sleep in her crib....ha.

Christi said...

Uhhh, yeah, details on the blood please. Just a little freaky there!

I left Taryn and TJ with my friend Julia today for about an hour so I could run out and apply for a part-time job. When I came back Julia was exhausted, and told me that Taryn had been into EVERYTHING. I kinda giggled inside! I totally feel your pain, and I'll just let you know that when you have two, it's even more fun!

Anonymous said...

yes yes!

I re read to try to figure out what the blood was about!

You said it so casually.

Carrie said...

My bad, ladies....

Rhena often gets bloody noses. Half of the time it's from the dryness of the airconditioning (even though we use a humidifier) and the other half of the time is because she picks her nose too damn much.

last night I'm thinking it was the dryness, and swallowing too much pool water. she's totally fine, though... thanks!

Wethyb said...

Omigoodness!!!!! Sounds like a hurricane times 100!! I used to use that Bedhead and it did smell so much like a Pina Colada it wasn't even funny! It was all sticky gooey on my fingers, I can't imagine it all over a little girl! Ick!!!

And that poor baby girl....I get bloody noses too when it's too dry.

At least it's Friday....breathe deep!

greekchickie said...

Wow, that's kinda crazy about the blood! I hope she's ok..



susie said...

Before I became a mother and I had cute hair I used manipulator. That stuff is like liquid gum... CANNOT IMAGINE the clean up.

I do understand the hurricacn. Liam's favorite hurricane torture is continually smacking his head on every piece of furniture we own....which means pretty much non-stop crying, whining and demanding to be "UP!!" "DOWN!" "UP!"

Our own private whirling dervishes!!