Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Up then down then up again


sorry for the lack of posting lately, all.

I was feeling pretty good for a while (had nine whole days without puking.. hooray!) then I pretty much crashed this weekend.

3 times saturday, twice on sunday, nothing yesterday, and already once today.

I keep telling myself that the meds are (must be.. HAVE TO BE) working in at least SOME capacity... cause I'm taking some high-potent shit, folks! I imagine the mess I'd be if I wasn't taking any meds, and that brings me some solace.

I'm also keeping in mind the fact that the baby seems to be fine and healthy, and all the people out there who, for whatever reason... can not get or have trouble remaining pregnant. The fact that I personally know of some couples in those situations helps keep me in check, I think.

but nonetheless... the puking and midnight acid wake-ups eventually take their toll... physically, mentally and emotionally.

so I feel at a crossroads. I'm not looking for the sympathy vote or anything... cause to be honest, when people start doling out pity for my puking, I feel like a shmuck. Shmuck because of the people that can't get preggo, and shmuck because it's just puke for crying out loud... it's not like the baby or I am dying, you know?

and the over-concern from my mom can be stifling. I often fear mentioning my puking to her because I know she worries. and I'm not going to take that away from her, cause now that I'm a mom to Rhena, I TOTALLY GET IT... no momma ever wants to see their baby (no matter how old the baby is) be sick.

but yet... I feel the need to say when I have my 'sessions', because they truly do take away my energy, even if for a little while. and when the energy goes... that means shit doesn't get done. like the e-mails, and phone calls, and blog posts, and visits. and cleaning and cooking, and folding the damn laundry, too.

so hear me when I say.. I'm not looking for pity. a little pardoning of my dust, messy bedroom, lack of blogging, and lack of being in touch, maybe.... but not pity.

oh.. and my breath. I know, I know... it's awful, and I'm sorry. I've really been trying to keep the house-of-acid at bay, but I know my throat smells like George Washington's ball sack. Just keep some gum or tic tacs handy if you plan on seeing me any time soon, ok?


susie said...

Dude why do you think I sent the mouthwash...whooooaaa. I'll stand over here.

Kidding. Just think only 3 more months! You can do it you can do it!

momxtwo said...

I will keep you in my daily prayers. I was really sick with my second pregnancy and it was the pits. Not too much longer. Hang in there.


Jenni said...

fine then, you'll get no pity from me bitch!

hee hee!!!


Jewl said...

Just think of all the sleep you'll be getting once the baby comes...
Wink wink...LOL

It's okay to complain or vent, whatever. Pregnancy is not easy, you are being to hard on yourself.

Anonymous said...

I was sick as a dog with my second child, my oldest boy.

Hmmm, Lisa was sick with a boy.

Hmmmmmm....I'm just saying.
Maybe we should do an unscientific poll here.

I remember wondering why they called it morning sickness!
that was 5 babies ago and I still remember that awful feeling.

He is healthy as a horse and is 6'3" and was always 95% in size...so don't worry about the baby!

email if you need anything Yo!

It's just a 6 hour drive!

greekchickie said...

I can't even imagine what you are enduring. Regardless of what's going on with other people, you are still having a very tough time this time around! You weren't this bad with Rhena, were you? I wonder why the change...


holy chaos said...

i don't blame you for venting! it is hard to be sick! I have started making a mental list of things i am looking forward to doing or being when I am not pregnant... like feeling normal! i'll be praying!

take care,

gina said...

i have never heard of anyone being as sick as you have been!!! poor girl!!

and about the mouthwash .... um. yeah.


Laina said...

Honey, if I'd been half as sick with Sam as you are this time, he'd be a guaranteed only child! And I've have been whining to anyone who would listen. Puking's the pits.

Taylor said...

You get lotsa pity from me (for free of course) because I feel the same way, just sans the puking part. I am DEAD these days...like can't even get off of the couch to wash dishes. I feel like such a big slacker but hey what can I do? LOL.

3 more months? That's it? I'm jealous! I've got 4 1/2!

Erin said...

Well if I'm not allowed to give you pity - how 'bout some kudos for putting up with it and still being such a good mom to Rhena!

I was only quesy for a few weeks this time around and that was no fun - I can't imagine getting sick all of the time - it has to be exhausting. Not to mention painful to the throat.

Erin said...

First, congrats on the reason for all the puking (yes late, and from a stranger no less)

And I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who thinks pregnancy is torturous. I'm SO not one of those glowing-happy-life-is-beautiful pregnant people...

Anyway - hi from Monroe!