Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Hot Stuff

ok... this title is SO meant in jest.

The Johnson household is going down the tubes faster than you can say "call the damn plumber!!"

first of all... yesterday I was sick sick sick. YUCK. NOTHING wanted to stay in me, and I mean NOTHING. I'll leave the rest up to your imaginations... but if you wonder why I haven't been commenting and checking out your sites... it's cause I spent most of yesterday in the bathroom.

then there's Troy.... I've posted pictures of him on here once or twice before... but for any of you who don't know him... here he is this weekend holding the pooper. ..

well... yesterday he just crossed the line. I mean... what's a girl got to do to get some respect and to have a husband NOT go out to lunch???

So after hearing that he went out to lunch AGAIN.... I did what any sick (literally!) wife would do, and I clocked him!

YES, ladies and gentlemen... that is his front tooth that is now missing. and NO.... I didn't photo-shop this picture, and NO... I didn't really punch him! (though he DID really go to lunch, so our deal is off...)

I feel bad for him, really... I made him go get me a turkey sandwich cause I was still feeling el horrible last night, and all of a sudden his tooth fell out while he was eating! now to be fair, this has been a problem tooth for him in the past... stemming to some fight or a kick in the mouth or something as a kid.. ( I really have no idea, and to be honest... with Troy... anything is possible!!!) Anyways.... that tooth had always been kinda dead-looking. so when we were in Reno, he had it whitened a few times, then finally went ahead and had it capped. or something... all I know is that it looked better afterwards.

But last night... ploink! out it came.

My Lord... talk about self-fulfilling prophesy.... I mean... I know I bitch how Troy is a redneck with all this Nascar crap he makes me watch... but this is a little too close to the edge for my comfort.

I gotta say... I'm really creeped out by the whole thing.... and I can NOT STOP STARING AT IT.

part of me wants to have a caption-contest and make up a shirt with the winning caption to give to our friends for christmas or something. Troy asked if I was going to blog about his tooth.... so I said "Noooo..... (pause pause pause) YESSSSSSS!!!!" in the best Night-at-the-roxbury way I could muster. He said to at least make it really funny, but damn... I kinda think that picture speaks for itself!!!

but I really need something catchy for that picture. so far I've come up with:

"Have you seen my can of skoal?"


"What time does the race start??"

but then I get caught up in a fit of laughter and creepiness, and my mind craps out on me. SO seriously... any thoughts for a funny caption... I reckon would be much appreciated. get it? RECKON. *sigh*

In other news... the weekly match-up is still going on... be sure to check out how things are going, and if you haven't voted... for goodness sakes.... the longevity of disco and kareoke bragging rights are riding on this one... GET IN THERE AND VOTE!!!!

That's all for now. I'm still feeling quite bloogey. Last night's sandwich actually stayed down (or IN.... that would probably be a better word...) but I know I'm not quite right yet. I'm hoping it's one of these 24 hour things.... after all.... I have a husband to make fun of. I need to be on my game!

today's title brought to you by Donna Summer, 1979


Porq said...

Now he has to change his middle name to "BOB".

Jim Bob
Joe Bob
Billy Bob

I said he was MARRYING UP!!!


Wethyb said...

Carrie girl...I just love ya! You're fricken crackin' me up!! I thought for a split minute that you did clock him...LOL.

Glad you're feeling a little better. Being sick always sucks donkey butt.

Thanks, too, for making me feel better about that anonymous comment. I was going to remove it completely, then saw your comment, so big thanks for having my back :)

Jenni said...

Oh, Carrie. I know it's not funny, but DAMN, it's funny!! How about "How YOU doin, sugarbritches?" I'm sorry you were sick, I hate stomach viruses!!

Kelli said...

Oh Carrie...that's FUNNY!
How about...
"Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth!" (yes I had a hick grandma who said that.)
LOL...poor Troy.

Melissa said...

That's great! "Grab your spotlight! We're going deer huntin'!"

Angela said...

"That corn was a little crunchy."

Chief Slacker said...

For the record, NASCAR is NOT redneck :O)

As for the caption:

"Dat der be the beer access hole."

Yup. Feel better!

Susie said...

Oooh, hello gorgeous! You need to have him amuse you by pushing food out through the teeth - like oreos and pudding. I had my front two teeth kicked out while sledding when I was about 7. Worst part was [trying to] eating corn on the cob. Best part was drinking through a straw.
Hope you are feeling better! We missed you :)

Tee said...

ROFLMAO!!! ... Oh man. That is so funny... I would feel the same way if hubby lost a tooth up front... Then again, my 6 year old looks like that. ROFL.

LMAO @ all the captions, too.

greekchickie said...

LOL!!!! OMG that is just the best laugh I've had since my blog about hot days in Texas.

I'm sorry you had a touch of the stomach thing yesterday. Nothing worse than being sick in the summertime.

Troy. Dude. I just have no words for you. I loved the comments people have left. You know Ms Angela Cheeks will have something funny creating in her brain about a t-shirt. I'm too busy laughing to think of anything of the bat right now. But I'll think on it!


dnyduck said...

Oh SHIT! I can't stop laughing! You had me laughing so hard I had my co-workers coing over to see what I was laughing about. And then your dad just HAD to throw in the Bob comment! I'm gonna get in trouble here!!!

I seriously thought you knocked his tooth out for a second!!!!


You KNOW that Kevin will have some thing to say! Him and his Nascar shit....uggg! I will have to email him a copy of the picture and tell him that you knocked Troys tooth out because he teased you one too many times about Nascar!

MAN! I can't stop laughing!!

Okay....I need to think of a caption for a bit. I will be back.

Love ya babe! Hope you are feeling better SOON!

dnyduck said...

Oh yeah....

MAKE him get it fixed soon! My dad had a "dead" tooth in the same spot for years and one day it fell out. It took him 5 years before he got up the nerve to go to the dentist to get it fixed. Do you know how much I hated looking at that for 5 years?

Laina said...

Okay, first of all, I heart Nascar!! And I'm not a redneck. Someday I'll define the difference between redneck and hillbilly. Anyway....

Second, my grandpa has a chipped tooth and it drives me nuts. I keep razzing him about it, hoping it'll make him fix it, but so far nothing.

Finally, the caption. How about "She's my cousin --->" instead of "I'm with stupid --->"

dnyduck said...

How about this one (not very good, but I'm supposed to be working not screwing around):

Troy was writing checks with his mouth that he couldn't cash with his end. (Watch what you are saying)

Shur-nuff...Carrie dang nar killed Troy for his sassy werds.

"Dadgummit! That hert!!"

ThoughtsGalore said...

You are too funny! You're cute little hubby! I have one of my hubby missing his front one, too. He is a Marine, however, and lost his with the back of a rifle to his mouth. Delightful, huh.

I'm glad you're felling better. Now, hold on to that picture and use it at a later time when you need to. :) You soooo know what I mean.

Now get yourself moving and get a picture of that Purple Prom Dress on here!

Elvis said...

All Troy needs to do is find some other characters to reform the Electric Mayhem.

Can you picture that?

Ohhh yeah! Whooo!
Everybody's lover, everybody's brother, I wanna be your lifetime friend.
Crazy as a rocket, nothin in my pocket, I keep it at the rainbow's end.
I never think of money, I think of milk 'n honey, grinnin like a cheshire cat.
I focus on the pleasure, somethin' I can treasure, can you picture that?
Can you picture that?

Marie said...

You crack me up! At first, I seriously thought you photo-shopped your hubby's tooth. And even after I found out he lost it, I had to laugh!!!

john boy said...

I believed you hit him, you sassy minx. Ha! lol

CheekyMoo said...

Well I just blogged before reading yours about hot..and plumbers.

Then I saw Troy's picture and thought "Well he's good we could swap." Then I saw his after. Now I like before and after's, but these sort of just suck. He's got no skills whatsoever.

You might be a redneck if you pull a tooth to make it easier to get at your corn and taters.....

Weed Chewin' 101: Soft weeds people..soft weeds only

I'm not a smart man but I know where the dentist is.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know when your tooth is gonna chip.

Now I've got one more but it's gonna have to be photoshopped. LMAO

Liza said...

aww, poor toothless hubby! i hope you feel better soon!!! sendin' ya lots of hugs :) and that picture of rhena and troy, so precious!

gina said...

ok ok i got the t-shirt caption.... "LONG LIVE DALE JR... GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN! "
ba ha hahahaa. gina in SC (red state)