The good, the bad, and the baby

well gang..... I had another appointment today, and still no sign of the One Within coming out soon.


this is both good and bad.... but probably not for why you would think. or for what you may think I think. I think.

ANYWAYS....


the good news is that all is fine. the baby continues to be very active. This may or may not be directly related to the amount of chocolate I gorge myself on regularly, but it sure is a mover. and a kicker.. but we won't get into that now.

more good news is that despite being overdue, the docs are in no hurry to speed things up. I know... for all the bitching I've done thus far, you'd think I'd want to hurry up and have this kid already... but to be perfectly honest... I'm totally ok with the way things are right now. I STILL haven't had a full-on puke session since that last Sunday, so I think this actually ties or beats or is pretty damn close to my longest streak of no puking since approximately week EIGHT of my pregnancy. YES... I'm waking up at night choking on the vomit that has creeped up my esophagus, YES.... my hips are aching as if someone ripped my legs off and shoved them back into my pelvis backwards, and YES.... I'm peeing every 15-45 minutes because this kid keeps thwacking at my bladder... but I HAVEN'T BEEN PUKING!!!!!! and BECAUSE I haven't been puking, I've been laying off the heavy-duty-anti-puke medication (zofran), which ALSO means I have been able to SHIT every day!!!!

people.... minus the hips, the night-chokes, and peeing... I feel fucking AWESOME!!!!


but aside from that, I'm especially happy that my doctors are not trying to intervene, because I really really want this baby to come out when it's ready. For as anal as I can tend to be... I really was against scheduling a c-section and essentially 'picking' my child's birthday, based on schedules and convenience. And so I'm getting my wish.

I signed up for a VBAC, and I'm being given the chance to let my body go into labor on its own. sweet. Of course the flip side of this is that the day is coming that I may have to push a child out of my tidget, and that in itself scares the living daylights out of me. BUT... this baby will come when it's supposed to.... and to me, that's pretty magical.

so we all understand.. I'm happy things are just in the flow right now. I'm actually enjoying my mom being here. Sure, we get snippy with each other, and both of us will be the first to say the other is a pain in the ass at times.... but it's really nice having her here. Seeing her interact with Rhena is something I USUALLY only get to see a handful of times a year. So to see the way they play, to see the way Rhena adores my mom, and moreso the CONSTANT outpouring of love from my mom to Rhena... and to see it every day??? well, frankly.... I feel Blessed.


But like anything, all goodness can't come without a price. The longer this baby stays inside, the longer my mom remains away from my dad. and while each of THEM will be the first to say that the other is a pain in the ass, they truly are a good team. They both manage to drive each other crazy and keep the other in line, and while they're each awesome individuals, they are really at their pinnacle when together. I guess that's what 39 years together does to a team. yeah... 39 years. crazy, right? tomorrow is their anniversary. I feel bad they won't be together to celebrate.... but worse because it's because of me.

and another thing that's been weighing heavy on me is our annual Christmas Social. This year will be the 8th year in a row in which this party has been held. It's been slated to be held this year on December 2nd, and I'm afraid that the longer this baby stays inside, the less feasible it is for us to have this party.

This social is MY SHIT, people. I DO NOT want to cancel, I really don't. but even if this baby is born like RIGHT NOW AS I'M TYPING... it will still be less than a month old by the time we have a houseful of drunk strangers milling in and out of our house. Stubborn, obstinate me is saying fuck it.. have the party anyway... besides, we've already told everyone about it, we can't just cancel now....

But the "feeling-very-fortunate-to-have-even-gotten-pregnant-and-carry-a-baby-to-term-AND-be-allowed-to-have-said-miracle-come-on-its-own-terms-and-by-the-way-did-we-mention-that-we're-done-having-children-after-this-one-so-is-it-really-smart-to-jeopardize-the-health-and-well-being-OF-AN-INFANT-a-beautiful-innocent-defenseless-INFANT-for-the-sake-of-some-friends-and-neighbors-having-a-good-time??" side of me is thinking we should postpone the social til like January or something. Especially thinking that this baby may not even show up until the 22nd!!! Somehow having a big neighborhood brewhahhah doesn't sound like a smart idea when your baby is 10 days old.


bah humbug.


oh well. I guess in the end, I'm getting what I wanted.... and a little more to boot. Perhaps this child's first lesson to me is that having Christmas Spirit leans a little more on the side of forgiveness, understanding and patience, and a little less towards staunch ability to keep commitments. I hope our friends can see it that way, anyway. Either way, I'm sure that however this year's social shakes down, it'll help us figure out who's worth getting an invite next year.


til next time; Semper Fi to all those with a Marine in their lives.... THANK YOU to all the Vets out there (past and present) .... and Happy 39 years to my folks.