Monday, April 10, 2006


ok... I've mentioned before how I tend to be the glutton for punishment.

well, I've went ahead and done it again.

Today, my friends and casual readers... today... I went to WalFart. During my FREE TIME.

Now free time don't come easy in these parts, you see.... when your husband works 100+ hours a week, the only thing I can really count on each week is that I can go volunteer-teach my CCD class, and once a month I get together with my lovelies... my Bunco girls.

But outside of those things.. Troy is pretty much working. Sure, sure... I'm sure I sound like a big ole hypocrite considering I just got back from a girl's weekend in DC... but even then, mountains had to be moved and funerals had to be missed in order to make THAT happen. so trust me when I say that free time don't just come easy in these parts.

Sometimes I almost miss working full time, because I remember being able to do things like read, go out to lunch, go for a drive with my stereo BLASTING, talk about who's sleeping with who and can you believe she wore THAT to work? you know... catty shit.

I mean, overall, this is definitely the life for me, no doubt. I can't even begin to list the blessings I've found as a stay at home mom... and let's face it... looking back on my professional positions? They sucked in a lot of ways, too. Right now I have REALLY good friends that can relate to me where I'm at cause they're floating in the same damned boat down the street from me.. and did I mention just how fucking cool Rhena is, and how much fun I have spending my time with her??

but nonetheless.... every now and then.... I get an itching to have some free time. no kid, no timeline, nobody but me. So today... with Troy's folks still in town... they gladly watched the Pooper while I went and ran some errands.

It was nice to be able to drive stop get out drive stop get out drive stop get out my way through town without having to add in the unbuckling, lifting down, walking slow, hold my hand.. no no no... ok, let's go now... no no no.... no touching, that's yucky!... ok, just another minute honey... ok.. here we go.. ok, up you go, buckle up and away we go stuff that comes with going anywhere with Rhena in between each stop.

but am I on drugs???? What would make me think that going to WALMART BY MYSELF would be a GOOD idea???

I mean... that hellhole is bad enough when you have a kid, but it's almost the built in excuse cause when you have a kid, it's like you HAVE to go to walmart. Like.. yeah.. I have a kid, she needs diapers, so groan.. here we are.

And when I have Rhena, I have to admit, it's nice to snicker with her about all the rednecks that are in there, and how much we hate the place. (Yes, I KNOW Rhena still really can't talk yet, much less say the word redneck... but live with her long enough, and you'll start to think her "oiyuh doy doo dah dah muh muh gah okay!" translates roughly to "Did you see what that woman was wearing, mommy? please don't ever dress like that in public, ok?")

Without my trusty co-pilot with me today, I was left to wonder silently to myself where these people actually come from, and is it POSSIBLE to chew anything with teeth like that?

I shuddered alone as I went by the in-store nail salon as I saw seat after seat filled with fat and or homely marmy looking women getting their piggy toes touched up with what could only be a parade of pastels and gaudy painted designs for Easter Sunday.

I cringed when I saw the too-young-to-really-be-a-mother mother and child in the photo studio as she used her dirty flip flops to push her crawling child back into the floor of the photo-studio. cause the dirty floor in there must have been better than the dirty floor just two inches away in the 'main store'.

I wiggled my way through fatties in the candy aisle. and listen... I'm not bagging on fat people, I'm really not. But if YOU'RE fat, and your KID is fat... do you REALLY think they NEED their easter basket stuffed with ANOTHER bag of chocolate??? And on what planet does it seem like a good idea to ASK said fat child if you've gotten them enough candy, or if they want more? Shit like this hurts my eyes, people... it really does.

but alas.. I did what I needed to do. I got the diapers, and goodies to make baskets for all the little kiddies that will be hopping through here on Sunday. and then I beelined my ass out of there... cause if I saw one more dude with a wad of chew in his mouth, I was gonna get ill.

SO now I'm home, and my free time continues in its normal house-arrest capacity as Rhena naps. But at least the in-laws stepped out for a little bit, and it's quiet here. no nascar, and no sportscenter on the TV as I write. And that... shit... right now that just about as good as free time NOT spent in Walmart.


greekchickie said...

Oh girl. Peace to you! What the devil were you thinking?!

We have the same rednecks down here. They are EVERYWHERE, I tell you!


just susie said...

Lord we have rednecks up here at Walmart. And I'm in New England! anyway I'm you escaped if not scarred from the experience. Hey like I said before - it's good blog content.

Laina said...

I live in the middle of redneck territory, and I've seen every single one of those situations at my local Walmart. I was nodding so hard as I ready this that I almost bounced my head off the keyboard! :D

Anonymous said...

thanks for the heads up but I am a LOSER.

I lack three spaces but one of them that I have to have for either Bingo is the 20 unique comments one.


My readers suck. They are L-A-Z-Y dude.

Angela said...

Bingo- I think! I have the Big Cross. :-)

Pieces of Me said...

LMAO you crack me up!!! I live in GA so I def know all about the rednecks esp at wally mall...however we are getting more and more infested with mexicans...and I am talking about the ones that creep ya out and stare ya down! Wally mall its just not safe anymore LMAO TTYL

Wethyb said...

Aw free time....what was that like??? Nothing wrong with Walmart, except, like you said, the rednecky, trashy people :) lol. Can't beat the deals though!

Hope you enjoyed your off time!

Hänni said...

I don't go to Wal-Mart, except on occassions when I feel like mullet hunting.

Sara said...

Walmart....ahhhhhhhhhhh I feel the same way. What makes the people in Target different?
When we go to walmart in our spare time that means there is a problem.. lol j/k but wouldn't it be nice if you were actually coming over to my house to pick me up (and I didn't have any kids) and then we would go shopping without a limit and then out for drinks? Oh, they call me a dreamer.....

Christi said...

Ha ha! That's so scary...Yesterday, my hubby took the kids to the in-laws for the day. Once the little boy I babysit left, I was alone, finally. I sat and watched some tv I wanted to catch up on, but couldn't sit still. So, I did what any woman in her unright mind would do at that point...went to Wal-Mart! It SUCKED! You are so right on so many levels. I was suddenly aware of all of the jerks and odd people around me, b/c I didn't have any kids to pay attention to instead! Once I was gone, I kept asking myself what on earth is wrong with me...I'm still asking, and I still haven't given myself an answer! Next time I have free time like that, I'll head your way instead, and I'll make sure that neither one of us make that stupid mistake again!

ZuphChic said...

I actually remember when Wal-Mart was half-way cool...a long, LONG time ago...