Dear Rhena,

OK I'll admit... it's probably my own fault.


All those times I wished for just one day of no poop from you. Well.... I will admit it. I was wrong.

I mean, SURE... it was nice not having to change your outfit 100 times cause your diaper didn't-slash-COULDN'T hold the terror from within your bowels. And I'll admit it was nice to no see the shade of funky yellowish green for a whole 24 hours.

However... I was not prepared for the actual worry that would come with no poop. I mean, c'mon.... you could have at least TOLD me you were going to let yesterday be the day! I was actually stressing because the last time you didn't poop during a day was when you were TWO DAYS OLD.

Do you realize how LONG ago that was???????


I was still on hospital-approved medication!!!! (oh, I miss those days!)


But the point is... I didn't know enough to really worry back then. Now is another story. I have come to expect anywhere from 2-5 poops a day from you.... so imagine my surprise when lo and no-behold.... 24 hours and no doodoo.

But all is well now... perhaps the 4 glasses of applejuice I drank helped to clean out your pipes. (I know it helped clean out MINE!)

SO thanks for the day of rest, honey. I'm good for another 6 1/2 months.

love,
mommy


ps... one last thing..... while we're on the subject.... was it really YOU who filled your diaper, or did you allow some wild DOG to come in and do the job for you? perhaps a Shetland pony? Who or whatever left that toxic waste might want to consider a job in the nuclear industry, cause that shit was a biohazard!!! But I LOVE YOU!!!!