Saturday, July 12, 2008

A World Named Sue


don't forget to leave a comment for next week's mix! it's super easy, and more fun when more people play! Just think of a song that makes you feel STRONG, and leave a comment to tell us what the song is!



SO I know some of the topics I'm about to bring up are already old news.. but MAN.

So last night, Troy and I were watching "Dan in Real Life". It was a very enjoyable movie with lots of elements we like. it had subtle and obvious humor, there were life drama and poignant moments, and at its core, it was a love story.

ANYWAYS. the story features Steve Carell as a widower doing his best raising three girls on his own.

When the movie finished, Troy and I did our usual recap discussion, which, if you've read my blog for any length of time, you'd know those discussions usually end up going down a variety of tangent paths.

Not quite sure how we got on THIS topic, but we started talking about lawsuits, parenting, and today's society. We discussed that case in Canada where the 12 year old girl took her father to court because she didn't like him punishing her. go ahead.. read the article. I'll wait.

uhhh.. can I get a WTF??? Telling your parent that you are NOT happy with them (rhena), you'll hate them forever (me), or that they're a "murderer of love" (the movie) is one thing... but TAKING THEM TO COURT? because you as a child do not agree with your parent? who was disciplining you for doing something WRONG? And lest we forget these are CHILDREN... children whose feelings change every other nano second.

I know I have personally witnessed a child or two talking back to their parent in such a manner that made ME understand why some people choose to spank their kids. I think my all-time jaw dropper has been "What are you going to do? I'm not afraid of you!" (never MIND that the sentiment is driven from a FEAR-based relationship... I completely feel that is one of the reasons why these kids have no respect for their parental figures. the parentals are not CREATING relationships based on love and respect. they're creating environments of fear and obeying.)

And there's the rub... we as adults and parent are not exactly setting the best examples, are we? Like the case in Sweden where parents are suing a child and his family for not inviting their child to a birthday party. I understand the school refusing to hand out the invitations. I don't AGREE with it, as I grew up in a world where kids didn't get the same number of valentines and flowers and invites in class. But I can buy into the principle that popularity games are a distraction from scholastic business, so keep it out of the classroom. the parents could have EASILY requested mailing addresses and sent the invitations properly. But the business of the parents getting their panties in a bunch saying their sons rights were TRAMPLED cause he didn't get an invitation to a party? (a party for a kid that was not invited to his OWN party?) blugh. seriously.

anyways.. those were only two of the things we were talking about last night. I'm not saying I would prefer to hear that my kids are going to hate me forever... but I'm ALSO not going to bend over backwards every time my child doesn't agree with something or has to face some disappointment in life.

I mean, SURE, I would love to think that my kids can go through life with no disappointments, but without those moments of lows, how can one truly appreciate and see the good when it around them the rest of the times?


Christi said...

Here's a whole-hearted WTF!!!

Ummmm, last time I checked, children don't have any rights. They have the basic rights to food and nurturing, but that's it. No legal stuff. That's our job...not a judge's. I'm appalled that the courts even entertained the IDEA of this case, much less actually following through with it!

I hated being picked on and left out, but that's life. Sometimes your feelings are going to be hurt...I can't believe this stuff!

All I've got to say is that if one of my kids takes me to court...he/she better find a new place to live! If I can't hold em in the house, I just won't let em in at all!

Cathy said...

Oh yeah. That's crazy. WTF?

And - I LOVED Dan, In Real Life. The best line ever in a movie - crap, how did it go, um, crap. I gotta see it again. Okay. I have no idea, but it is on my netflix list, so when I see it again you can bet I'll twitter it. Anyway, the middle daughter cried it to her dad while she was being made to say goodbye to her boyfriend.

And - I can't play your song game - seriously - I can't remember a line from a movie, much less a title of a song that makes me feel strong. If I think of one tonight, I 'll play...

Porq said...

Uncle Roy told his kids to remember three things.




Choppzs said...

Holy Shit, I had to read that one out loud to Hubs! If my daughter EVER tried some stunt like that, I would whoop her ass! lol

Anonymous said...

I do believe that kids have rights... but to not be abused mentally or physically. I do not think that punishment falls into this category. Mostly I am appalled at BOTH parents for letting it get this far. What the hell is the mother doing? This means that the mother wouldn't uphold the father's punishment, right? And the father has taken it to the media... WTF to HIM? Get some counseling with your daughter, dude. And I'm saddened that a court of law - a superior court at THAT - decided this was worthy of hearing. Sounds like they wanted PR too at this 12 year olds expense.

Disappointments are a NECESSARY part of life. I'm thinking that BECAUSE this girl hasn't had many... she is MENTALLY INCAPABLE of managing to deal with it. And for that I do indeed blame her parents.

Carrie said...

I definitely agree that children have rights. of COURSE they do. I'm very in favor of public intervention when a child's health and safety are in jeopardy.

and I'll even air on the side of being protective of a child's MENTAL health and safety. I see what some parents do to kids, and lemmee tell you.. it ain't right by me.

but these examples of public/governmental intervention have me flabbergasted. these are NOT situations about defending rights or basic life needs. these are cases of selfishness, pride, and failure of adults to be anything BUT adults. NOT that I know all the details of each case, cause clearly there are always many levels to each story.

I do, however, blame the reproductive sponsors in these cases for the cases existing at all. no matter how much they try to say the reasoning is for the child, these cases would not have as much attention and distance without an adult funding and pushing them. for that I say shame shame shame.

ps.. Cathy? I'm pretty sure the quote was "murder of Love". I referenced it in teh post, too. I about spit out my drink when the daughter yelled that.

Erin said...

I just wanted to comment to say that I really loved Dan in Real Life and that you have to download the soundtrack. It's great! My ipod is in love with it too because everyday it plays a song at some point while I'm trying to go to my happy place on the train.

PS: Does anyone actually have a family that puts on talent shows and has early morning aerobics classes en masse? My family just yells and acts bad thus I avoid them, not vacation with them.