Playgroup, Dirt, and Leaves... OH MY!

so today was the first day of a playgroup that Rhena and I joined. It was a bit of a clusterfuck with kids running around everywhere, but Rhena seemed to enjoy it.


Plus, the mom that was hosting it had a dog... and as Rhena would say... "dey!! DOYDEY yayyay DOY DOY DOY YAY!!!"

for those of you not understanding Rhenese... that translates to "I like dogs, so I guess we can hang out here for a while, mom!"


Today definitely marks a first for the Booger.... today she actually TOUCHED GRASS. Now when I say she touched grass... I'm NOT talking about POT.... (seriously.. I mean... who calls it GRASS anymore?? PLEASE!)

and no... I have not kept Booger in a bubble. she indeed HAS been around grass before. The big step here, gang, is that today was the first time she touched said grass without screaming and crying like I put her on a bed of needles.

today my friends... RHENA GOT DIRTY. we're talking wet jeans... muddy knees, dirty hands.. the works. She picked up every leaf she came across, and to my relief, handed about 80% of them to me. the other 20% really tried to find their way to her mouth, but then the dog came by and the poor thing ended up getting a number of them on her back and head.

Now, if you know me... you'll have some idea of the magnitude of comfort this action plays in my life. I am JUST NOT A GIRLY GIRL. And frankly... the idea of having a girl who is into dancing and frilly shit and princess crap is tough to swallow. Yessssss..... I'm up for the challenge, and will gladly accept Rhena's likes and dislikes..... but this disco-lovin' momma is praying for a tomboy.

I DO want her to know the rules of hockey, I DO want her Granpa to teach her how to spit, and I DO want her to be able to hold her own on a playground. and yes... I know there's little ballerina girls out there who know about hockey, can spit, and can hold their own ANYWHERE.... My brother has two of them... and they are my favoritest girls in the world that I did not give birth to!


But the dirt today was reassuring.

As for the moms.... it was definitely good to meet some new people here in my neighborhood.... but they all know each other already, so I'm really odd-(wo)man out. Coupled with the fact that I had to be near Rhena at all times, I found it very difficult to feel at ease around these ladies.


They were nice... don't get me wrong.... but as I get older, I find it increasingly difficult to keep having to start new friendships. Be funny... but not too annoying. Be witty, but not a wise-ass. Be nice... but don't get walked on. it's tough!

But alas... I have no choice. I have no stable set of friends here, and this is the price you pay when you move somewhere new. I definitely see how easy it is to fall into the trap of only talking about your child. As a person wanting to fit in...you look for some commonality, which typically is the child and or your mothering experience thus far. The more you do it, the easier and easier it becomes to just talk about the child, and before you know it... you've forgotten who YOU are.


So how to find that balance of speaking in a language that other people understand, making sure I represent myself for who I AM, and not just who's mother I am, and trying to keep up with a group that has known each other for years? It's not easy... I know that much.

I think I clicked with one or two ladies today. maybe not even a click... maybe more like a "cli". and I'll take that... it's definitely a start.


and the dirt. ahhhhh... the dirt. Days like these makes this momma proud.