Thursday, June 02, 2005

Bitch Factor

if you read my posts regularly... you'll know that last week my mom mentioned to me that I bitch too much in my blog.

suddenly, I've noticed, in the plethora of blogs that I read, that writers have been concerned about complaining too much.

I call it the Daytona Element. for example... in jersey... you hardly ever hear about Daytona in the news... except when I moved there to go to college.... then my parents couldn't turn on the TV without Daytona making some appearance.

The same thing happened when I moved to Seattle, and Reno, and apparently they're hearing more and more about Charlotte.

I know it has nothing to do with cosmic forces, and everything to do with a person's heightened awareness to a particular subject... the towns in the case of my parents... the blog-bitching in my case.

so back to that.

some of the bloggers, like myself, were feeling guilty about their written vents. I don't think they should. While some blogs were created as a form of entertainment for others... the majority of bloggers I know use cyberspace as a way of capturing what goes on in their lives and minds, or use it as a cathartic release, or just cause it's free.

the point is... there's no wrong way to blog.

As my friend Susie wrote in her masthead... "this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to". Kudos!

now, I'm not going off on the vent-haters..... but there comes a time where you have to say to yourself... why am I reading this blog? if you're reading to criticize... shame on you. If you're reading to get a deeper understanding of the writer... then take what they're writing and absorb what they say.

My mom, bless her heart... (like that??? I'm trying out one of my new North-Carolina-Southern sayings...)

anyways... I'm positive my mom was reading what I write/bitch about, and was genuinely concerned for my mental health. She was worried that I disliked motherhood, due to the amount of moaning I do about this that and the other thing here in my blog. I can see where she might come to that conclusion, and I appreciate her concern... I really do.

But despite what I bitch about here in this blog... I can say without any uncertainty, that I love motherhood and every single day I have on earth with my amazing Rhena. I'll even add that I love every day that I am Troy's wife.... but that love I have doesn't stop me from bitching about the stupid shit he does!!!!

So if I love love love my life so much.... why am I such a cranky bitch all the time???? No offense, but if I don't bitch here... where else am I going to do it??? All of my close friends don't have kids yet, so they just don't understand. (They're still bitching about trying to find a boyfriend!) My parents have already been there and done that, so they have trouble getting back into the mindset of being frustrated and completely helpless. (like me telling a 2 year old to stop whining about having to tie his own shoes!) As for the friends that I do have that have babies... or Troy.... they're in the same boat as me, so that's sorta a dead end, too.

I refuse to take anything out on Rhena. She did not ask to be born, and my ineptness in parenthood is nowhere near being her fault. no no no.... she will not bear any brunt of my frustrations. She'll hear my prayers and my whispers of love, and she can someday read the journal I keep for her.... but she's not allowed to read this blog. Besides... I curse too much... I don't want her reading this crap.

So if I don't vent here in my blog... into my electronic counselor.... where would all the bad stuff go??? Would it go anywhere, or would it bottle up inside of me, only to erupt some day on someone undeserving??? Sure... I know that there's people out there in the big triple W, and some of those people read the trash I spew. But it's not my intent to dump crap on you, as much as it is for me just to get it out of my system...... so I can give the good stuff to Rhena, Troy, and ultimately... me.

balance, right?


dnyduck said...

Good for you Carrie! I totally understand why you say it seems like everyone is concerned about their "Blog Bitching". (It was Kevin's truck for us most recently.) But like you and Susie said..... My motto - don't like what I said/wrote, then don't read it!


Liza said...

I don't care if I bitch in my blog. You should read some of my earlier blogs when I was working at my previous job, seriously! And when I was unemployed or pretty much when life was shit. It's my blog, it's for me to type, not for someone else to tell me how to do it! So I say, keep on bitching. I actually like to read bitching posts because I know that someone else out there has shitty days like me.

Angela said...

You can bitch and moan and vent to me any day of the week. While I might not understand first-hand about some of your troubles, I do know a thing or two about frustration, so I can relate to that for sure. Bring it on!

I have always believed that each blogger has the right to write about whatever they felt like writing- it's their blog, for crying out loud! If you don't like it, don't read it!

I am going to keep reading it because I think you are wonderful!

Susie said...

I think you and Angela are having an affair! ;)

This is all I'm saying. The blog is for you. Writing makes you feel good, obviously. Keep on keepin' on. Like CheekyMoo says - you don't like it - the 'X' is in the right corner. So is 'Next Blog.'


Kelli said...

I love reading your blog, no matter what the topic.
Whether you're bitchin' or gushin' you always make me smile!

greekchickie said...

How many times have I stood on my soap box & screamed that Blog Is for Me?!?! I don't write for anyone else. I don't write to entertain you or anyone else reading it. If you don't like what I write, guess what? There's an X at the upper right hand corner. People can use it. I LOVE the way you write. I keep coming back for more.... but it's because it's YOU... it's YOUR words. And that's what I like.


Wethyb said...

Thank you for making me feel better about bitching on my own blog! You're right, if we can't do it here, where can we do it! You go girl!!!

CheekyMoo said...

See I tried all that happy scrappy shit, I got a pink blog, I tried to be all rosie and sweet, then I started foaming at the mouth. What in the crap is up with that insanity?

Bitch. Complain. Vent. Whine. I. Love. It. Get it out baby! Wanna complain about Nascar? I say do it! I vacationed in Tennessee once and we made a game out of Nascar Games, Pick up trucks with dead deer in them, and bonus points if they were missing a tail gate or spray painted camoflauge. It was called DUMBASS. Now if I lived in that state my blog would be called, "My neighbors are all dumbasses and I need to talk about it."

I adore you. You are hilarious. You vent. You bitch. You complain. But your love for your life, being a wife, and a Mommy always shine through. No mental health issues there, just good healthy Nascar hating Carrie. Love you!!!

Lil Country said...

It's all good. I think of my computer as free therapy. I get so many more prespectives to look at with comments back, and best, it's FREE! I mean do we all have to preface our blogs with WARNING: frequent complaining inside?

And the souther "belle" will be there in no time!

Liza said...

ahh, yay, beth is gonna bitch more!

carrie i like your bitching posts and you should post about the pistons losing right now. that's a good thing to complain about, haha.

Mr. Apropos said...

I'm just glad you found time to bitch about bitching too much. I mean, got to focus on what is important, right?


ZuphChic said...

Bring on the bitchin'!!!! I welcome every word...

Carrie said...

Gotta love Dan for putting things in perspective....

but thanks to all who appreciate my rants.

this post honestly wasn't a rant on my God-given right to bitch, as much as it was an observation that some bloggers I read were struggling with their own balance of happy/complaining posts.

y'all should know by now that if something's biting my ass, I'm gonna let you know.

so to those out there that need to create 'seperate blogs' for what they REALLY think and feel, and the ones that over-edit their posts to not offend... I hope you find a way to get it all out...

CheekyMoo said...

Sep. blogs? Holy COW! I never thought of that. I should get one for each of my personalities.

Or just keep not giving a holy crap what anyone thinks of me.

Yeah, I like it that way better.

john boy said...

Bitching about bitching. Classic! I love it. lol

greekchickie said...

Ok... I'm gonna ask cuz I have balls the size of Texas. John boy is cute. Is he single?!

I'm using Carrie's blog as a dating site. WOOHOO! This is America. The land of opportunity.


Pieces of Me said...

John boy LOL!
OMG Carrie this is your blog! do whatever you want on it! We obviously like to listen to what you have to say...otherwise we wouldnt be your faithful commenters! sorry if there are haters that dont like it but it is sooooooooo simple if you dont like someone's blog there is this great thing on the top right has an X click it and move on!
TTYL ;-)

Wethyb said...

Liza is a bitch, so she should know what I'm talking about...HAHA!!! It's okay....I can say that about her since we're buddies...tee hee! Besides she knows it's the C21 coming out in me :)

Nick said...

My feeling is this: most peopl have the same frustrations and annoyances in their lives. If you don't vent on the blog, it just stays bottled up. Besides, most people vent in humorous rants that make the rest of us just sit back and say "Yeah... been there, had that happen, and you are damn right to be mad!" Then we feel better that someone else shares in our problems and gives us a funny story or another way of looking at things. Besides... if it weren't for angry posts, I'd have no blog at all.