Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Potty Mouth

Recognizing the fact that I curse way too much for a mother of two children.... I need to talk about my potty mouth as of late. but not the "sonofafuckercrackassedbitch!!!" comments you can imagine me muttering under my breath when once again the Moose is up screaming in the middle of the night.

no. we're going to leave that subject alone. although-- funny story.... I made a weird turn when we were driving back from jersey a few weeks ago, and Troy exclaimed " JESUS!!" in a way only backseat drivers can do... yeah.. not a HALF a second later, our bubbling blondie daughter did her own echo of a cry to our dear Lord on Most High. that's the worst she's ever repeated so far, and for all my truck-driving sailor tendencies, I must say I do a fine job of curbing my language around her. Troy?? meh... not as much. but I can say for sure my kids won't be learning curse words from me. at least not yet. I imagine a few *may* be learned during the impending teenage years....

but all of that's an aside.

my potty mouth I'm referring to is that of Boogie's bathroom habits. This training experience is REALLY teaching me creativity and patience. oh, and how to be creatively patient, too. I have had conversations with my child's private parts, as well as her bodily fluids. I have been told by my daughter's pee-pee (which coincidentally sounds JUST like her...) that it's too cold to come outside. Her poopies (also, a dead ringer for her voice... go figure!!) have insisted that they can not come out until they see the chocolate candies.

whaddarya gonna do?

yesterday was a monumental day; she peed 7 times and had a discovery-channel worthy poop, all in the big girl potty. and she kept her pull-ups dry all day. who KNEW that such a simple body function would be the source of such strife and excitement in my life???

today we're also doing well. I'm proud to say that Boogie peed on the big girl toilet.. AT THE MALL. in a PUBLIC TOILET!!!! seriously.. even *I* have trouble peeing in them some days!! Now.. I must also include that I am not proud that in so doing the deed, she kinda peed ON ME... (seriously... her pee defies gravity... she seriously is a geyser of urine!) but still. public bathroom. check!

The good part about being peed on was that I had just been trying on bathing suits. That sheer act alone pretty much had me numb from the neck down, and I was just so flippin' happy she was peeing on the toilet that it didn't bother me that she was really peeing ON the toilet.. and not IN it. oh well.. one step at a time, right?

I'll talk about the bathing suit hell another time. like, you know... when I'm highly medicated and you know... highly medicated or something.


greekchickie said...

LOL That's so funny!


Christi said...

Taryn has been acting like she's ready to be potty trained, and I am SOOOOO not ready for that!

As for the fowl language, I have single-handedly taught my son all of the essentials to be a dirty sailor, and, to my proud mother joy, he uses them all very well in context! I remember the first word he said was "DAMN!" after I shouted it out in the car when I burned my tongue one day. Little did I know that would be the beginning of such wonderful and creative uses of the English language that he has come up with!

Jodes said...

way to go rhena! it's a whole new ballgame now, huh? we have discovered more public toilets in the last two weeks than i knew existed-and that is a feat considering my last pregnancy! how people must love hearing me say 'point it down please. don't put your hand in, thank you!' glad all the bribes, uh, i mean rewards, are paying off! love ya.