I'm a weenie.

ok--- I admit it. I've reached a new level of shame for myself.


I'm a big weenie.


I went to the dentist yesterday, and it was the most horrific experience of my life so far.


Had I known how much MORE painful the direct scraping of my gums would be while preggo, I would have waited on this appointment. Seriously--- I mean; I've gone more than 6 months of no dentist before... try like 3 years!!! And yes, the first visit back really sucked ass, but I was allowed to pop some advil afterwards, naturally washing them down with several Jack and Gingers.

But being the new-improved, 50% more free mom-to-be... I kept my appointment. I don't want cavities.... I want my in-utero monster to know that Mommy takes care of her teeth cause she wants to set a good example. MOMMY can handle a simple dentist appointment, and she can do it without silly little pills or alcohol as a reward, even though she hasn't been flossing like she should, and has been neglecting her back molars due to the gagging reflex her gigantic sonicare causes, and knows that this month's cleaning is going to be especially rough.


So I went, and didn't eat anything prior to prevent any queasiness from the barrage of tools about to spend time in my mouth, or possibly that distinct yummy latex taste. Nothing like the taste of latex in the morning.


I threw up three times.


for a basic cleaning.



HOW IN HELL AM I GOING TO HANDLE BIRTH?????????


Granted, the whole birth thing doesn't happen in my mouth, and there ARE drugs allowed in THAT party, but still..... bleeding gums is probably a walk in the park compared to the Vietnam that's going to come out of me with the monster's arrival, and there's a LOT less stretching, cutting and/or ripping involved with dentists.


I keep hoping I'll wake up some morning and there'll be a child in our bed. It's not that I don't want to go through with the whole birth process (oh, ok--- twist my arm--- you caught me. I really wouldn't mind skipping it altogether) but my theory is--- the monster isn't going to remember. Why should I have to?