Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Rhena Columbus

I'm thinking Rhena is somehow a kindred spirit to Columbus. Or was it Magellan? whoever wanted to prove the world wasn't flat.

either way.... somehow, their exploratory knack has transcended the time-space continuum, and my daughter is out to prove that the living room is not the only room in the house.

It's quite comical, really--- she does this roll, shimmy, roll roll, backwards skooch, then sits up. over and over again. If it wasn't so damn hot here, I'd put pants on her to prevent the rugburn she's getting on her poor little knees.


I'm seeing a floor-induced bump on her head in the very near future.

somebody asked me today if the house was baby-proofed yet. I'm assuming she meant if I had safety gadgets covering every square inch of the house, and was not asking if I've ripped my uterus out.


well the answer to both scenarios happens to be NO, so I was able to reply without skipping a beat. I mean.... sheee-it. I know I'm supposed to provide a safe environment, but where do you draw the line?


I'm all for picking up the broken beer bottles, wiping up the bleach spills, and not leaving mouse-traps out in the open and all.... but I've seen some people's houses, and all I can say is this.... YOUR CHILD IS NOT HOUDINI!!!!!

I mean, let's face it... there's some stuff that's necessary... lowering the water temperature... keeping chemicals in a locked cabinet... loaded guns are usually a no-no, too... well, at least depending on where you're from..... but the locks on the toilet lid, and the bumpers on the tables, and a lock on every damn cabinet in your kitchen.... ( Careful, Muffy!!! Biffy is going to get into the tupperware!!! E-gads!!!)

here's a hint. There's a little something called the word NO.

NO comes in many forms... verbal, physical, mental.... but after a while it does the trick.

My parents were tired of my brother going into the cabinets, so they did what any reasonable adult would do.... they played on his fear of alligators, and put a rubber one named Bobby in the cabinets. .....Ask how many times my brother kept going in the cabinets after that.....

of course... I could be talking out of my ass here.... who knows what I'll end up doing to keep Rhena and any possible future siblings in line. But seriously---- if I end up installing shit that even *I* can't open.... well... I can only hope one of you knows how to UN-install shit I can't open, and you help a girl out.

5 comments:

Marianna said...

Is your poor brother in therapy because of that alligator now?! Sheesh! Parents are so friggin cruel! lol... but damn, it IS funny to watch kids go back time & time again. "Oh it's funny as hell. Watch him do it again!"

M~

Nick said...

LMAO... Alligators in the cabinets! I love it. And I thought the ones in the sewers were wild enough.

Elvis said...

Oh, don't you kids worry about what Bobby did to my psyche. Like all good forms of using fear as a (de)motivator - it all wears off. I'm currently using variations of bird visits to threaten my four year old. Owls and pelicans are doing the trick lately...

As for the rest of the house? Some day we'll get real end tables and real cabinets. The existing cabs are hard enough for US to work, never mind the kids. But that two-year old - ooph... "Hulk wants..."

As for Rhena - welcome to the next phase on kiddie-raisin'. The mobility phase... the price of poker just went up!

Susie said...

I think you are talking out your ass a bit but I still support and love you!!!

I'm nailing as much down as I can. I don't want to be shutting every door he opens and saying no till he doesn't hear it anymore. I'm neurotic! And I don't trust my dear dear hubby to close stuff up right.

You can always play it by ear. If you have taken her out of the same cabinet 47 times in one day - get the lock for that cabinet.

It's all good!

CheekyMoo said...

Yeah read my blog today! LOL Wait til even the crushed peppers aren't safe from potion making mischief. I never baby proofed and my kids turned out all right. Wait..don't read my blog today.
;-) See, I actually had a child lock on the cabinet under the sink. Things that could break were kept up. They both had their own cabinets to sit in, play with, stack things in, etc. They learn. As mischievious as I make my kids out to sound, they are both good kids and both listen. But when they're toddlers life is stressful. So far, that hasn't gone away.

Besides, everyone parents different and what works for one doesn't work for another. You're a great Momma and there is a lot of love and laughter in your house. To me that's what is most important.