Monday, June 28, 2004

Fuzzy Naval

So monday seems like a good day for thinking. Beginning of the week, a day off from the makeup mafia----

I can't stop thinking about my belly button.

it's gotten to be quite interesting as of late. I have this weird blueish ring around my slowly-disappearing inny. Add to all of this that I can even see the back wall of my belly button. I mean, c'mon---- who wants to see THAT????

I mean, I know it's all for the good of the baby--- baby needs room! baby gets bigger, *I* get bigger...... but my belly button--- it's .... well, it's MINE, and I want it back!

I mean, a belly button is the one thing that we all have, and it's about as unique as our finger prints. it reminds us that we too, are human, and someone else MADE us. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about playing up my God-complex and superior-than-thou attitude, but in the end--- we're all someone's kid. Which--- by emotional deduction on the pregnancy hormone chart, should have me weepy-eyed about the fact that I'm creating another belly button as we speak.

but it doesn't.

I still want my belly button back. I want my memories of half shirts in college, places to hide small objects as a kid, sand magnet at the beach, collecter of other fluids I shouldn't mention cause my family reads this---- I want it back. (and Mom/Dad-- chill out, I was referring to body shots at the bars!)

though there's an interesting side bar--- why is it better for my parents to think I'm an alcoholic floozy allowing strangers to drink from my belly button versus have any sexual images be conjured? that's another blog entry for sure.

Anyways--- my grandest fear in all of this is that I WON'T get my belly button back. it'll change. it won't all go back in. it'll stretch out and get saggy. not pretty thoughts, ya know?

so for now, I putter around the house thinking of objects I can use as a 'template', if you will, to help my belly button go back in after the baby is out. the finger works for spot treatments, but I'm thinking of something more leave-in, til the skin 'remembers' it should be back in there.

so far the best I have is a cap from a tube of chapstick. I'll keep you posted.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Sobering Thought

I'm guessing there comes a time in every (wo)man's life when you realize that your idea of 'fun' is directly related to the amount of alcohol you've consumed.

I say this, dear reader, because last night pretty much sucked. Oh--- I got my fix of kettle corn, and stuffed a few onion rings in my mouth... there was lemonade (freshly squeezed, of course)..... but there was something..... missing.

what was missing was fun. Now before you get your panties in a bunch and say how I can create my own fun... all the crap that high school guidance teachers tell the dirtbags.... before you do that, I want you to entertain the idea that FUN is not necessarily a notion, an activity, but what I like to call an alcoholic filter.

This filter is a beautiful thing--- it allows you to ignore the fact that no other town in America has a higher concentration of red-necked white trash than the very one you've willingly decided to call home. It allows you to only hear five of the 500 decibels being created from a dirt-laden child two feet away from you.... it also helps you to filter out the apparent and crass stupidity of pretty much everyone. In some cases, my friend alcohol even makes the aforementioned situations funny. It's especially handy in public gatherings--- maybe even moreso in family reunions.

But the point is--- last night was no ordinary Farmer's Market.... well--- perhaps it was. I just saw it through sober eyes. Despite my primal urge of hunger being more than satiated, the farmer's market wasn't as much fun as I remembered it. I suppose there's a lot of other stuff that's 'just not the same' since I've gotten preggo. (which would, of course, explain why my husband and I don't 'go out' as much.)

oh well--- I got my kettle corn. We spent a LOT less money. And--- we were home in time to watch jeopardy. Sometimes you just have to focus on what goes right.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

There's a First for Everything

SO there I was--- readin the old man's blog (since my darling dear older brother hasn't written anything in a while) anyways--- I was thinking---

I can do this.

so, sure as skippy, here I am. And I actually have a lot to say.

no--- nothing really important like politics or deep thoughts on religion (well, maybe some religion) but I'm too ignorant in current events to talk politics. Not saying I don't have the CAPACITY to sit and choke on page after page of things that are listed in the news and papers.... I just don't WANT to.

But I do have a lot to say. My main source of material will probably be my body---- did I mention I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant and there's some weird shit going on inside of here? Yeah. so that stuff, too.

Right now I'm torn between playing with this new blog toy of mine, or getting ready to go strap on a feedbag of kettle corn. True to Czernikowski form--- food wins out. Blog can wait.

welcome to my world. try to hang on.