Monday, June 20, 2005

Roadside America....We's on VAY-CAY-SHUN!!!

well.... this will be my last entry for a while.

that's right.... we here in Cze-Johnsonville are going on a little roadtrip.

after all , it IS summer... and it's not like I WORK... so why not???

yup--- me and the booger are going to go on a little tour de southeast.... On the agenda... driving and relaxing. ...odd to say those two in the same sentence... and I'm certainly not naive enough to think I can do the two at the same time....

but we shall drive somewhere... then relax. maybe take a few pictures, but definitely relax.

I know, I know.... you're probably thinking that's what I do EVERYDAY.... but even when you're doing the same shit every day.... it's nice to do the same shit somewhere different.

Comments will be closed for my hiatus.... and I plan on having a new look when I come back.

Geez... I sound like an unmarried pregnant girl in the 50's..... "no Dear... Carrie's going to go away for a little while.... she's..... uh... not feeling well.... so she's going to spend the summer at Aunt Bertha's...."

(and to answer your question, NO, I'm not pregnant.)

I may or may not do postcard updates, but don't expect any normal postings from me for a few weeks.

So--- insert a couple of fancy-shmancy sayings for goodbye here, and know that we'll catch you on the flip side!!!

peace out!!!

Friday, June 17, 2005

no... the nose does know!

ok... sorry... I SWEAR this will be my last post about noses!!! ....maybe.

First off... I'd like to announce the winner of the Cartoon Calamity..... by a decision of 13 to 3....


I know... stupid. but it's me, so there ya have it.

MELISSA has this thing now where she makes people list three things when they're leaving comments... and yesterday's topic got me thinking. no... fear not... I'm not going to make y'all list shit... I'm happy when I just get a comment... much less expect any of you to really WORK in them!!!

anywaaaaaays.... the topic was something along the lines of what celebrities did you idolize growing up, and whether or not you had their posters hanging in your room.

This reminded me of a crush I had, which may just very well be the root of my strangeness... or at least explain why I don't think there's a damn thing wrong with my nose.

Ladies and Gentlemen.... I had the BIGGEST crush on Barry Manilow.

yes... I had my 2XL stocked full of Barry's 8-tracks. Holly-Hobby record player knew his grooves inside and out. I WAS Mandy... and I came and I gave without taking. ....I wore feathers in my hair and a shirt cut up to there. ( yes, I know Lola's dress was cut DOWN to there, but I was a KID, for crying out loud.... my parents would NOT let me wear anything low-cut!!! SHEESH!!) ...I fantasized about Rico and Tony and really believed that Barry knew my soul.

I even wished on a turkey bone one year that I would become fatally ill as a child so Barry would come and visit me. (PS... the whole wish-thing-on-the-turkey-bone does NOT work... as I survived my childhood with very little illnesses and had no such visit from my idol...)

Over the years my undying love faded and moved on to Simon LeBon from Duran Duran and Jon Farriss from INXS.... I drove my parents crazy with the music, concerts, and Duran-INXS-EVERYTHING..... and so it goes... my life as a teen-aged girl.

In college I discovered real boys and club music, and never looked back. But the older I've gotten, I've found I'm able to think on the musical influences that surrounded me growing up.... and really appreciate it. Granted, having real money to BUY all of this said music has also helped... but my point is I love all sorts of music now... (but do not have any posters hanging in my house. ) ... I'd go so far as to say I like pretty much every genre of music now... well .... except maybe country. a few songs or artists here and there, but generally speaking... not so much.

But despite my wide variety of likes now...... I've always kept a small place in my heart... a real soft spot.... for my Barry.....
nose and everything.

Looks like we made it, Barry.... looks like we made it.

Thursday, June 16, 2005


Sweet!!! ......I think I've finally 'become' a blogger... with hate mail and everything!!!

what's this, you say??? .....well... today, ladies and gentlemen..... I got my first drive-by!!!!

I don't know whether to laugh at their childish comment, or be happy that my blog is getting so popular that I'm reaching beyond my normal readers.

Either way... they obviously have mistaken me for someone with a fragile ego, or that of someone who gives a shit what anyone says.

But whatever.... my cherry's been popped. .....Champagne, anyone?

oh, and one last thing....

Sniff THIS, beeeeeotch!!!!

I happen to love my shnozzer

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Interview with a Mom-pire

well... if you're a regular reader, you'll know that last week I was interviewed by Chris from a "Diary of a Mad SAHM".....

I posted my answers, and like a good girl, I offered for folks to be interviewed by ME.

from what I could tell in the comments,

and Maria

volunteered to go under my microscope. Steph gave a wishy-washy answer, so until she confirms that she indeed would answer my questions... she gets nothing.

In a fashion very similar to what my mother would do.... Derek sorta threw a challenge at me without really saying what he really wanted. I may just interview him anyway, just because he's my brother and all. That, and there's been a lot of shit-flavored cereal in his bowl lately.

Either way... I have completed and e-mailed the questions for Melissa, Karley and Susie.... so be on the lookout for their posted grilling soon.

I will probably finish up the others by tomorrow...

in the meantime... don't forget to vote on this week's match-up!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Is it too much to ask???

ok-- gotta say... I'm thinking the NBA finals have some secret code going on with the American Anthem.

And while I'm not an overtly demonstrative patriotic person....I can't help but ask if it is too much effort to have an American sing the American Anthem IN America???

night one... they had Alannis Morrisette.... while I understand that she is NOW an american... she was born and raised in canada.... and ever since being slimed for saying "I don't know" on "you can't do that on Television".... she will always be canadian in my eyes. Shit... even MTV just featured her 'crib' in Ontario!!! CANADIAN, I say!!!

game two... Kelly Clarkson... ok... despite being overly annoying and sporting weird hair and sunglasses... she is an American. Born in Texas.. God Bless her little heart. But the song was sung from Iraq!!!

Tonight, Stevie Wonder performed the anthem... but didn't even sing.... he played it on the harmonica!!!

C'mon, ABC..... just once, for old times' sake.... gimme a good ole fashioned anthem, arright?

Weekly Match-Up; Hanna Barbera

ok... so I apologize for not posting this yesterday...

oh, and before I present the match-up.... if you have a job that doesn't like you looking at porn, I would suggest that you NOT do an MSN search on Hanna Barbara.... as one slight letter off from the intended hanna barbEra will lead you into a cartoon porn link-o-rama.... And forget about just hitting the 'back' button.... they just take you to real porn from there. WTF people.... I'M LOOKING FOR MY CHILDHOOD CARTOONS!!!!!

anyways--- so now that I've been able to find what I was REALLY looking for.... I bring you this week's match-up.

oh, and for those of you that are newer to my site, and are not used to shit-filled cheerios being thrown at you in my blog.... (inside joke) my weekly match-up is simple. of the two contenders I present... who would kick who's ass???

Each week I TRY to find two contenders that are somewhat matched... be it physically, mentally, benevolently, or somewhat equal in their LACK of anything.... These contenders are not always living and aren't always human.... but the challenge remains.... if these two get in a ring... who, in your opinion, will be the last one standing? It's always fun when you tell us why... but don't feel you have to have a deep reason. I recognize that sometimes you just go with your gut, and that's that.

Originally I was going to do something dad-inspired for this week, but all of the things I was thinking of were pretty weak. ......I needed something stronger. ..........hmmmm... stronger..... maybe super-heros??? yeah... that could work... but not just ANY superheros..... we need to bust out the irregulars, folks!

so this week.... in a special throw-back edition of the match-up... I give you:




Some of you youngin's may not even remember these two cats, but if you're my age (+ or - a few years) and you don't start talking like grape ape or saying "honnnnnng-konnnnnng-phooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!" after seeing their pictures.... you might want to check your pulse.

So there you have it.... who will win the title of Champion of the Under-Accomplished Cartoons??? No hints from me on this one... I want to see where my real dogs at. whup whup.

so DING DING.... let the battle begin!

Monday, June 13, 2005

Window Shopping

I know, I know... It's MONDAY, and I need to set up a match-up.... but I've been too busy thinking about all the things I'm not doing.


yeah... exactly.... my brain is everywhere other than where it should be right now. I think I need to make a list.

This always happens to me occasionally. ~~~ See??? I'm doing it again... my crazy-ass double-speak where I really am not making any sense to anyone except myself, and even that is a far cry.

SO things I need to do today---

laundry, catch-up on blogging, chat with my online girlies, take care of rhena, more laundry, set up a match-up, pay some bills, mail a gagillion cards, more cleaning, cook dinner, exercise.

hmmm... whaddaya know??? .....the list works... this isn't a bad list afterall.

but good gravy... I feel really distracted today.

LOTS of people have been updating their blog templates lately... and I, of course, feel the need to do so as well.

my newest favorite is Christie's.... her's was designed by Radical Mama.... they're so saucy.... and if I weren't really trying to learn coding and shit like that and oh yeah... tap into my creative side, I would gobble them up in a second!!! but it's got me thinking.

Kudos to all the girlies (and fellas) out there pimping up their sites, though.... I'm appreciating the step aside from blogger-conformity... and just plain am ooogling at all the cool stuff I'm seeing!

Perhaps I will start my very own 'red carpet' of bloggers out here... I sure as hell am as annoying as Joan Rivers.... so I'm lacking a little (ok, a LOT) on the plastic surgery, but I was in an office that performed Botox on Friday, so that might count for something?

yes yes yes... a new feature for the fever.... I could be on to something!

ok-- off to tackle the list. Match-up to be announced later today!

Friday, June 10, 2005

moles, electricity, a visit and an interview

I know, I know... sounds like a bad book, huh?

oh... on that subject... does anyone here know of any writers that are looking for a good suspense plot? I have a great idea for a book or movie, but alas... no will or time to do the writing....

now back to our regularly scheduled blog...

first off....


I had my appointment today.... surprisingly, things went well. I was very nervous to get my lump-o-shit checked out... even more nervous at the idea of sitting in my bra and underwear while being checked over for more lumps-o-shit. And I was right about the sitting in the bra and underwear thing... I mean, sure... I had a paper gown on, but nothing screams "your insecurity is dead on, Carrie" like having a GORGEOUS doctor (and she was skinny and had beautiful green eyes, and was just so sweet, too... I wanted to punch her!) oh, and a waiting room full of plastic women... gag. I swear I was the only one there NOT getting botox.

but the good news is that the mole I was most concerned about is nothing to worry about. She said I could get it removed, but it was totally not necessary. She did point out a few spots that I need to keep an eye on, but for now they are fine... and I don't need to come back for another year. so thanks for all the prayers and well-wishes.... I got a clean bill of health.

as for the ELECTRICITY.....

I swear I'm not a stupid woman.... but I must play one on TV. So the guy finally shows up yesterday, walks into my garage and pushes the reset button on the outlet that the fridge was plugged in to. The same button I had been pressing for the past 24 hours, mind you... but when he did it, it finally took. I swore up and down to him that I had pushed that very button... and he told me that I probably wasn't pushing hard enough. Hey buddy... why don't you bring your fat ass over here, and I'll show you just how hard I was pushing it.... but that's cool... we're in the south, and I'm a girl, so I must not know how to push a button. After all... I only designed multi-million dollar projects and used to help trouble shoot mechanical fixes for a major warehouse distributor.... but I can see how you might think that I as a girl wouldn't know how to press a fucking button. .....oh... did I digress again? sorry.

right-o... here we go.

The bedrooms losing electricity was a true brain fart on my part. I forgot to totally reset the switches properly in the main box. I was only flipping them half-way to one side, and needed to push it just a little further. when he did it, I smacked my head in an utmost Homer-fashion... cause damnit... I should have remembered that. But hey... I'm just a girl, and some big burly man should have showed me how to do that when we moved in.

the good news is that this guy is going to come back and install a dedicated 20amp circuit for our garage fridge for $40 under the table. I should ask him if a 60amp will cost more (parts, maybe?)... that way we have the juice if we need it. Not that I foresee power tools in our immediate future, but you never know. second thought... maybe we'll just stick to the 20 amp, and leave the power tools away from the kids.

on to the impending VISIT!!!!

My dear friend, whom I've never actually met before, is coming for a visit!!!! I'm very excited about this..... I have known Angela and a group of almost 20 other women for just under two years now. we met on a message board, and have been there for each other's journeys in trying to get pregnant... from the month after month onslaught of getting periods, frustrations in figuring out ovulation cycles, to sharing the miraculous news of positive pregnancy tests, or the heartbreaking dread of yet another negative result. We've shared with each other the fears, hopes and love for our unborn children, and the joys and frustrations of parenthood... and God.... so much more.

I love these women. They are my sisters, no matter how you slice it. No... they do not replace my 'real life' friends... but they have created a whole new chamber of my heart and chapter in my life that I never knew was missing until I met them. I can honestly say that I am a better woman and better mom because of the influence and support of these women.

Anyways.... Angela is coming this weekend..... and I couldn't be happier. I see drinking, laughing, eating, crying, some more drinking, a lot more eating, even more laughing, and lots of picture taking going on this weekend.

As a side note... I doubt I'll be blogging or checking other blogs this weekend... due to the visit... so if you don't have any comments from me... you're still loved... I'm just busy.

and finally.... THE INTERVIEW!!!

on my sidebar... you'll see a link for "Diary of a Mad SAHM".... love her. bless her heart, she has TWINS.... and is so damn real, I'm kinda a groupie for her. .....Like I said... love her!!! I threw away any pride I had a begged to be interviewed by her, so she gave me the following questions....

1. I've read your blog, and more than once I wanted to shout "Carrie! Get out of my head!" we're so on the same wavelength. So let me ask you this, and let's see if we're still on the same page. Is motherhood everything you thought it would be? How does reality differ from what you thought it would be when you were pregnant?

This is actually more difficult to answer then I thought it would be. I am SO wrapped up in Rhena, and the love I have for her, and life with her, and her smell, and her sounds... I honestly can't remember my life before she was born.

I really don't think that I had ANY idea what life as a mother would be like. I mean, I THOUGHT I was mentally prepared... and to many extents I was/am. I mean, sure, I bitch about the lack of sleep, and the screaming and petty stuff like that... but these things are what I was expecting, and these things I got. so for *most* of the bad stuff, or the drudgery parts of motherhood... I saw all of this shit coming.

but where I NEVER prepared myself correctly was to feel this much love. I am OVERWHELMED by this explosion of emotion when it comes to my baby. I guess I thought it would be like loving Troy, which I do with all my heart... and I continue to love him in new ways as time passes... but this love for Rhena is equal and the same and different... all at the same time. ... and I never imagined how great this would feel.

2. You've lived in different parts of the country - Daytona, Seattle, Reno, etc. For every city you've lived in, give us one word that describes each one.

1972-1991... Sayreville, NJ ---- one word? HOME

1991-1998.... Daytona Beach, FL ---- one word? TRANSIENT

1998-2002... Seattle, WA ---- one word? FUN

2002- 2005 ... Reno, NV ----- one word? BROWN

2005 - present.... Charlotte, NC ------ one word? REFRESHING

3. What did you do before becoming a stay at home mom? Do you miss it? Would you go back to it if you could?

Professionally Speaking..... My education gave me the title of Aircraft Engineer.... I worked for Boeing in Seattle under many hats, from Engineering to Project Manager. After Troy proposed, he moved to Reno, so I followed him a few months later and was an Industrial Engineer for

In my spare time... I have worked as a Bra Specialist for Victoria's Secret (1995-2002), Dj'ed/had a personality character for a Radio Station in Seattle, tended bar, waited tables, worked for Estee Lauder... and a ton fo other odd things.

I miss people, so to that extent, yes... I miss working. I don't think I could go back to my professional life in the capacity of an engineer. Technology changes so rapidly... not sure if I'd be able to just jump right in... I mean.. who even knows what version of AutoCAD is out there now???

If I were to go back... I wouldn't mind doing some type of project management position. But honestly... I would love to own a restaurant or have some type of event-planning business. Or teaching... haven't done that yet...

but WOULD I??? as much as I bitch about needing to get out... I probably wouldn't when push comes to shove. if we NEEDED me to, for financial reasons, I would do anything I needed to do to keep my family healthy and afloat. But since we have no family here, and Rhena is so young... AND having Troy and I raise her is one of our top priorities... I guess I doubt I would until she's older.

4. What one thing have you learned about yourself, thanks to your blog?

I've learned that I'm not as crazy as I give myself credit for, and that I'm not alone. I've learned that I like attention more than I thought I did, and that I've only just begun to tap into my creative resources.

5. A theme that keeps returning in your posts is that of balance. Do you think you've achieved it? If so, tell us your secret!

ahhhh... the question of balance. I've found that I'm better at achieving moments where my instability lapses.... but overall... I feel good. Somewhat well-rounded, and ultimately happy. I've said before that I like .... sorry... LOVE my life, so even in the times where shit is all FUBAR'ed.... I somehow am able to look around and find happiness. So I guess I have the balance.... it's just being able to see it sometimes is where I need work.


Thank you so much for the 'interview'.... you asked wonderful questions, and I feel mentally refreshed by doing this re-cap. It's funny how you forget shit about your own self, until someone asks you a question and makes you go there and dust everything off. Like having company, but better... cause you don't have to vacuum.

Anyone want to be interview by me? let me know, and next week, when I'm back online... I'll see what I can come up with!

The Official Interview Game Rules
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions — each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

In the meantime... have a wonderful weekend, everyone! BTW... for those of you wondering about this week's match-up.... Billy was the BIG SHOT and kicked out Elton 10-1, Susie never gave a vote, and my brother had shit in his cheerios. Not bad for a week's work!

'see' you monday, gang!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

and innnnnnn.... and ouuuuuuut......

well... I've made it to the middle of the day of the middle of the week.

surprisingly... no specific motherhood challenges today as much as life in general.

got all the father's day and birthday cards bought... which feels good to have that monkey done. Granted, I still have to fill them all out and send them away, but at least they're bought. $47 at hallmark... and it's not Christmas... yowzer. I was thinking we'd get off easy for Father's day cause both of my grandfathers are dead, and Troy only has one still living... but I guess the birthdays (and graduations and baby showers and baby births) negated any dead savings. oh well... what goes around comes around!

so then Booger and I went food shopping... they had a sale on slimfast so I bought 8 six-packs.... I know, I know... can you say ridiculous??? but still... the stuff has been working... (slowly... but it's been working, so why mess up a good thing??) all sorts of other stuff, too... and then even more stuff on top of THAT.

so as I was pushing this cart back to the car, I was honestly thinking how awesome it is that we have the beer fridge in the garage.... not that it's always filled with beer (though I suppose by the way I talk you'd think I had an IV into the stuff...) ----but seriously... the extra fridge is handy. it really helps me only go major food shopping every three weeks or so... cause I have extra stocking room.

Granted, freezer space becomes a premium when mom and dad come down and make pier-dogs... (I'm talking about pierogies.... I just call them pier-dogs...).... which... by the way.... has only happened ONCE... in Nevada.... so I've been feeling a little slighted. ----perhaps this summer I can convince Mom it's in her best interest to come and bring/make the magic of Pier-dogs to Casa Johnson.

but I digress.

So here I am, $230 of groceries later.. thinking how nice it is to have the extra Fridge...

Yes, Operator??? Can you get me Murphy??? We need him in Carrie's life on the double!!!

This is so painfully obvious... but wouldn't I be a nickel on a dog's ass if there was something wrong with the fridge when we got home. Oh yeah... freezer stuff defrosted and everything... son-of-a-NUTCRACKER!!!

So now I have a screaming child (or should I say hungry-tired-ass-hurting-screaming child???) and a shitload of groceries that will NOT all fit in the regular fridge....


so I looked at the fuse box, and did all the stuff you're probably wanting to tell me to do... turns out there's something wrong with the outlet itself... and the reset button associated to said outlet.

scream scream scream...... YES RHENA.... I KNOW YOU'RE STILL THERE!!!!!

so I said screw it to the food, fed the babe... changed her, milked her, and introduced her to my friend THE CRIB. ......ahhhhh... silencio.

ok... so yadda yadda yadda.... we have no extention cords that are three-pronged and long enough to plug the fridge in elsewhere, so I packed up a cooler with whatever ice that was in the in-the-house fridge.... and got pretty damn creative with my fridge packing. (read that slowly... I said FRIDGE packing... not fudge!)

so right now things are being chilled and frozen again.... but the fridge looks like we're going to be bunkered down for a year. oh well... I did my job... Troy said he would look at it when he gets home. I asked if he wanted me to call someone (like I said... there's something jacked with the outlet itself, and my NON-electrician ass is NOT going to try to play Mr Wizard....) but he said no... *he'll* look at it when he gets home.

2 bucks says he tells me to call someone tonight.....

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

OUCH is a four-letter word

Today... I realized I am at about a level 2 out of 10 on the parenting backbone scale....

today, I cried like a big wussy baby.

Why? Cause Rhena was pooping.

and crying.

and screaming.

Let me back up.... As y'all know.... Rhena got her first tooth last week. ( me how the big girl claps!!! yeah!!!..... )

sorry... got lost there for a minute...

well...after said-tooth came on the scene... said child stopped eating. said.

so pretty much since thursday --- she's been really off with naps and eating , and unfortunately... no pooping, either.

so let's see... thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, monday, today.... YOUCH!!!! Today's poop was not only a big one, but really hard for my babe to pass.

so today, when she woke up from her nap, she started screaming bloody murder.... when I went upstairs to get her, I realized she had pooped (kinda hard to miss the smell of donkey shit when you walk in a room...) but she was still screaming.

when I took the diaper off, she was STILL POOPING (and screaming, and crying...)

long story short... she pushed so hard to get this 5 pound brick out of her that she gave herself a hemorrhoid. SO now of course *I'm* crying, because of the pain she's in, and I'm thinking this is all my fault that she couldn't poop, and I passed on my bad stomach to her, and ooooh oooh oooh, my poor baby... please just stop crying.....


when faced with child enduring pain... I lost it. Lack-of-backbone-and-ability-to-rationally-hold-it-together-in-front-of-upset-baby party of one??? yes, my table is now ready!

again I say it... *SIGH*

I *did* give myself two points cause I was able to not gag on the shetland-pony-shit smell that was right in my face as I helped her cycle her legs.... but I lost 8 big ones cause I was crying harder than her when I saw the bubble on her hiney-hole. I fear the day she actually sheds blood. At my performance rate... I may just pass out.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Let's talk about sex, baby....

ok... so I know I'm REALLY jumping the gun on this... but I was thinking about Rhena either yesterday or this morning... (I mean, I'm ALWAYS thinking about her... but you know what I mean...)

anyways, I was thinking about how she's got a tooth now, and how she's trying to walk, and just in general how time flies.

then I started thinking about the fact that before I know it, she's going to be a teenager, and then oh GOD.... she'll be dating, and thinking about sex and stuff.

so again... REALLY jumping the gun, but it's on my mind, so I need to talk out loud.


I think of my own thoughts and experiences when it came to sex, and truth be told... I was scared shitless of it. I don't think it was anything that my parents actually SAID as much as DIDN'T SAY... or is it the other way around? I don't know... I mean... I knew what sex was, and for whatever reason... I was afraid.

and then I had friends who were the complete opposite.... verrrrrry curious, and verrrrry active.

but Rhena will be Rhena... I know there's nothing I can do about that. It's the whole "how am *I* going to act" that I'm thinking about. I still hope upon hope she'll know about sex but choose not to experiment too much. At least not as a teenager. ok.. secretly I don't want her EVER having sex, but I know I need to be somewhat realistic.

I certainly don't want to be one of those moms that acts more like a 'best friend'... gag. I'm the parent... *I* make the rules... not you.

But I don't want her to feel like she can't talk to me about sex.

So do you guys have any opinions? I know there's no right or wrong way... but is there something your parents did that worked for you? or something that totally DIDN'T?

To this day, I still avoid the subject of sex with my mom. To some extent, this is fine with me. I have a great relationship with my mom (or at least I think I do...) and I don't want to mess with our mojo. However... there have been times that I think I would have liked to have been able to discuss or ask questions about the act without feeling so oogy. Not so much now.... but definitely when I was younger.

I guess I just want Rhena to be able to talk to me... without fear of judgment... but without thinking that I'm condoning promiscuity. .... there's that damn balance thing again.....

Again... I know it's early to be thinking about this stuff.... but I like having a plan of attack. Of course, I'll probably CHANGE this plan of attack 100 times over between now and whenever.... but for now... it's just one more thing to think about.

Monday Matchup: By Special Request

perhaps I'm just being lazy by not thinking of my own matchups this week, cause I actually have another topic I want to stew about today.

However.... I realize I haven't done a match-up in a while.... and I *do* want my readers to know that I actually listen to them, so....

for one week only.... by special request.... I give you the match-up of piano proportions:


Which of these piano men really tinkles out ivories??? Will the RocketMan blast the Big Shot? Will Sir Elton be able to say he's Still Standing after Billy-boy applies some Pressure???

only you can tell, dear readers....


Saturday, June 04, 2005

Changing ways

well... I've been messin' around with the ole blog again....

added some peeps, cleaned up the picture upkeep....

little bullshit stuff that no one really notices right off the bat. But that's alright... in my quest to teach myself more and more coding, I'm yet another step further than last time. or something like that....

the rain is FINALLY gone.... I thought I was back in Seattle for a moment there.... except I have been eerily sober.... UNLIKE much of my time in the Pacific NW. finally got out of the house for a little bit, but did not go for a walk like I intended. Troy came home early from work today (around 2pm... ) so the three of us went over to the Harley dealer.... Troy had to pick up-slash-return some parts for the bike.

so we're there, and this lady starts telling us how beautiful rhena is... points!..... then she starts babbling on about how she found out her some was teething cause he started chewing on her toes in a bath... WTF???? .....Am *I* like that???? ....Do I start rambling on random and weird stories when faced with small-talk???? oh, yeah... I guess I do. .....oh well....... moving right along, then!

So Marianna thinks JohnBoy is hot, eh? .............interesting......... I'm just going to leave that alone for now, though.... can't harass a first-time poster TOO much....

well... the sweet child o mine didn't eat worth a pig today, and has napped even worse.... so daddy-dearest is giving her a bath right now. what's that??? oh yes... that's an early bedtime, gang!!! kinda makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

speaking of warm and fuzzy.... I need to turn the A/C on and brush my teeth.... (body=warm, teeth=fuzzy) and it sounds like my two darlings are ready for me.....

peace out!

Friday, June 03, 2005

The Great Pearly Gates

or maybe just a pearly white.


my baby got her first tooth. I guess she is going to end up looking like a little girl afterall.... and not some little old man. First the bald spot grows in, now teeth.... next thing you know she won't be shitting herself anymore!

but ahhh.... her first tooth.

life is good. Bring on the steak!

We had a playdate planned for today... a mom I met at a block-party.... but unfortunately they cancelled on us, so we were forced to deal with another grey and gloomy day here in NC. inside the house. again.

Just as well, though --- the baby was sick, and the mom had some stressful stuff going on. I've been cooped up in here so long that I might have... strike that... I most definitely would have been too much for this poor mom to deal with. By 2:30 today, I hit the last wall of craziville and decided to hit up Babies R Profit.

got some baby-proofing shit... though I'm sure it'll be another month before I figure out how to work the stuff.... maybe Rhena can teach me.

other than that... same ole same ole.

It's Friday, so that's kinda nice.... one more week til my friend gets here.... Because she reads this blog I can't say that I'm secretly hoping to get her piss-ass drunk and take funny pictures of her....


no--- I'm just kidding.... but I am looking forward to having her here. it'll be good times, no doubt, and a definite pre-cursor to a reunion thingy we have coming up in October. so hooray to the one-week count-down!

Well--- it's now after 7pm, which means it's beddy-bye for the pooper.... and playtime for mama.

night night dear readers... don't let your baby's new tooth bite!!!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Bitch Factor

if you read my posts regularly... you'll know that last week my mom mentioned to me that I bitch too much in my blog.

suddenly, I've noticed, in the plethora of blogs that I read, that writers have been concerned about complaining too much.

I call it the Daytona Element. for example... in jersey... you hardly ever hear about Daytona in the news... except when I moved there to go to college.... then my parents couldn't turn on the TV without Daytona making some appearance.

The same thing happened when I moved to Seattle, and Reno, and apparently they're hearing more and more about Charlotte.

I know it has nothing to do with cosmic forces, and everything to do with a person's heightened awareness to a particular subject... the towns in the case of my parents... the blog-bitching in my case.

so back to that.

some of the bloggers, like myself, were feeling guilty about their written vents. I don't think they should. While some blogs were created as a form of entertainment for others... the majority of bloggers I know use cyberspace as a way of capturing what goes on in their lives and minds, or use it as a cathartic release, or just cause it's free.

the point is... there's no wrong way to blog.

As my friend Susie wrote in her masthead... "this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to". Kudos!

now, I'm not going off on the vent-haters..... but there comes a time where you have to say to yourself... why am I reading this blog? if you're reading to criticize... shame on you. If you're reading to get a deeper understanding of the writer... then take what they're writing and absorb what they say.

My mom, bless her heart... (like that??? I'm trying out one of my new North-Carolina-Southern sayings...)

anyways... I'm positive my mom was reading what I write/bitch about, and was genuinely concerned for my mental health. She was worried that I disliked motherhood, due to the amount of moaning I do about this that and the other thing here in my blog. I can see where she might come to that conclusion, and I appreciate her concern... I really do.

But despite what I bitch about here in this blog... I can say without any uncertainty, that I love motherhood and every single day I have on earth with my amazing Rhena. I'll even add that I love every day that I am Troy's wife.... but that love I have doesn't stop me from bitching about the stupid shit he does!!!!

So if I love love love my life so much.... why am I such a cranky bitch all the time???? No offense, but if I don't bitch here... where else am I going to do it??? All of my close friends don't have kids yet, so they just don't understand. (They're still bitching about trying to find a boyfriend!) My parents have already been there and done that, so they have trouble getting back into the mindset of being frustrated and completely helpless. (like me telling a 2 year old to stop whining about having to tie his own shoes!) As for the friends that I do have that have babies... or Troy.... they're in the same boat as me, so that's sorta a dead end, too.

I refuse to take anything out on Rhena. She did not ask to be born, and my ineptness in parenthood is nowhere near being her fault. no no no.... she will not bear any brunt of my frustrations. She'll hear my prayers and my whispers of love, and she can someday read the journal I keep for her.... but she's not allowed to read this blog. Besides... I curse too much... I don't want her reading this crap.

So if I don't vent here in my blog... into my electronic counselor.... where would all the bad stuff go??? Would it go anywhere, or would it bottle up inside of me, only to erupt some day on someone undeserving??? Sure... I know that there's people out there in the big triple W, and some of those people read the trash I spew. But it's not my intent to dump crap on you, as much as it is for me just to get it out of my system...... so I can give the good stuff to Rhena, Troy, and ultimately... me.

balance, right?

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


rain rain go away----- we're going crazy and want to play!!!!



I'm trying to think of something to do in this crappy weather, but all that's coming to mind is finishing the laundry and going to the bank. and the moving claims. bleh. all need to be done, but they just aren't as fun as going for a walk.

oh well. .....balance.

I've noticed that the word "Balance" has been my mantra lately. I've fully accepted that there's no way I can 'do it all'.... and I just have to set more reasonable goals for myself each day.

I guess in one way, it's like I'm in a whole new job. I mean, I am.... but I'm talking like in a new workplace. I've found that whenever I would start a new job, I would over-commit to projects and tasks, and burn myself out, trying to get everything done each day. Then, as I become more comfortable in the assignment, project, or job... I'd make more reasonable expectations and goals, and found I was more successful overall.

So I think I'm getting to that point in this role as a mom. Sure, the basic and important stuff is getting done.... rhena is dressed, fed, changed, and entertained every day... I shower, dress and feed myself and troy every day.... I manage to do a fair amount of cleaning each day, too....

but some days I have to choose between grunt work and playtime when rhena naps. Eventually I'll get to a point where one of her naps is time for me, and the other is for cleaning, but I'm just not that focused yet. Today playtime is winning, but it's just the morning nap. after all... why do now, if I can put it off til later???

so much for balance!