Sunday, July 31, 2005

More, More, More -

ok... so I have another thought.

in case y'all haven't noticed... Cze-Johnson Fever has been burning for over a year now.

every now and then I like to look back and re-read what I was thinking a few months back. Turns out I actually wrote something today last year....

I just re-read it, and while I'm still about 90% on board with what I wrote.... I'll own up to being a little wrong. ...turns out I could have never expected to be filled with this much love.

Sure... I loved my unborn child, but now that she's outside, and she's my RHENA... the overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation and awe is indescribable.

and that was a little like a switch, cause all at once, with that first loud cry... my dreams became real.

don't get me wrong... shit is constantly changing here in Johnson-ville.....

but I will admit that loving Rhena.... my baby..... my daughter.... our living, breathing precious child... is way better that loving the monster within.

this title was brought to you by Andrea True Connection, 1976

Funky Town

So for a lack of a better title, I chose Funky Town cause my feet stink.

Sorry... it's been a slow weekend, and right now all I can think about is the smell of my feet, so there you have it.

So here it is.... I'm thinking that if you choose to wear a pair of shoes while working for the Make-Up Mafia during the summer you also happen to be pregnant, and during said summer, you are living in a desert of utmost BROWN proportions.... you should probably throw said shoes away.


because try as I might... sprays, powders, those slip-in thingies, washing.... NONE of those methods have eliminated the funk of 1000 make-overs.

people... my feet are straight up rank right now.

But it pisses me off, see... cause these shoes were like $90 ON SALE (AND after my Macy's discount!!!), so I don't want to throw them away... and they are pretty cute.... but THEY STIIIIIIIIIINK!!!!

so I know I should just can them... but oh... it pains me to do that. But it also pains me to smell my feet right now, and you KNOW when you can smell yourself and you think you smell bad that other people are just puking in your wake. kinda like farts, you know??? like everybody's used to the smell of their own farts, but if you let one rip that even makes yourself gag... you KNOW the right thing to do is spray or light a match or warn somebody or SOMETHING.

I mean.... when my feet are their normal scent... I'm not worried. sure, they may smell a little like sour cake batter, but they're definitely not gag-worthy... so if somebody's near my feet... hey... they're FEET. what did you expect?

but today... I just can't get over how nasty they are. no wonder Rhena was looking a little pasty earlier.

oh well.... we have one more place to go today (meeting some friends for dinner) so I'm not going to wash the punks until we get home. when the shoes are on, the smell seems contained, so I think it'll be safe when we're out.

I'm going to try one last thing to save the shoes... a little arm and hammer. if that doesn't work, I think it's curses for the shoes.... unless someone needs a stink-bomb sent to someone they really really (REALLY) don't like.

Any suggestions on how to save the shoes will be appreciated..... though if you're going to say carpet fresh, I can tell you now that it doesn't work, and kinda burned my toes a little. but again... suggestions are appreciated. Otherwise, I will respect the general population that has working noses and ditch my old friends.

have a great sunday, gang....

today's title brought to you by Lipps Inc., 1979

Friday, July 29, 2005

Knock on Wood

well... we have arrived at another Friday. whooooo-yeah!

not that my friday is really a friday, (or was it every day was like friday???) anyways.... I just like knowing we're on the verge of a weekend.

not much going on in Johnson-ville.... we FINALLY got some rain last night.... but the stupid bitches of our tv networks just happen to SUCK at their emergency broadcast system.

so here we were... watching garbage cans and porta-potties fly down our street (no... we are not white-trash.... we just live in a construction zone while they finish all these houses around us...) and we're watching the news, and not one... NOT ONE network has any news flash of any kind warning about high winds or tornados or anything.

so while debating on which closet would be best for us to hide in should the roaring outside get a little louder... we put on the weather channel. So they at least say there's a severe thunderstorm warning in effect. no shit, sherlocks! so whatever... the storm finally passes, we eat dinner and settle in for some Wheel of Fortune. well... not 2 minutes into Wheel, and the first of about 15 emergency broadcasts come across, warning the po-dunk counties of North Carolina that they are about to be assaulted by heavy winds, lightning and rain.

what?? just cause we live in a HOUSE we shouldn't get warned??? not even a "hey Huntersville, we know half of your town is under construction to accommodate the growth of Charlotte, so heads up for some flying construction debris and maybe a random 2x4 or porta-potty????" yeah... good looking out... fuckers.

so anyways... other than our garbage bin getting blown into the street, and a lot of debris on our lawn, we only lost 3 screens, which troy brought inside, so all I have to do is bring them upstairs and put them back in. so knock on wood for no damages.

speaking of knock on wood... our floor guy is coming today to check out some creaky boards. I guess new houses aren't supposed to SOUND like old houses this soon.... we'll see what comes of that.

and for my dish of culture this week... Troy and I watched this movie called "Talk To Her" last night. odd movie... but it won an oscar, I think, and it had subtitles, so that definitely counts as culture in my book. notable moments from the movie include a pretty girl burping, same pretty girl talking about taking an elephant-sized shit, and a shrinking man that crawls into a woman's vagina. (this ought to pull in ALLL sorts from Google search now, huh???)

so if you're into those kinds of things.. the movie is worth a watch. Also features dancing, two women in comas, and bullfighting. I mean hey.... if you can't pull them in with men walking into vaginas... SURELY the bullfighting will draw the crowds???

on that note.... my audience of one is clamoring for some attention. apparently one of the 6 or 7 toy phones she has is for me!

happy friday!

today's title brought to you by Amii Stewart - 1978

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I'll Always Love My Mama

So here's a little tid-bit you might not have known about me. I have a tattoo.

I've had one for a few years now, but I was keeping it a secret from my parents. My dad found out about 10 or 11 months after I got it. My parents had come out to Reno for a Christmas visit ( it was troy and my first Christmas as a married couple, as well as in our first house)

anyways.... I guess Daddy saw it when he and I went to the food store to get some gravy for the Turkey I was going to be preparing. I must have forgotten about it, and when I skooched way down to the back of the bottom of the shelf in the store, the ink peeked out from my pants.

I, of course, didn't know that he saw this until a few hours later when he and I were getting something from the beer fridge in the garage.

"Nice Ink," he says in the most monotone-slash-stern voice I'd ever heard. "Don't let your mother see it."

so after I wiped my ass, I regained composure and carried on with the Holiday festivities.

That was a year and a half ago.

During this visit, I fell back into step with wearing two t-shirts, sweat jackets tied around my waist, and making sure things were always 'tucked in' before reaching down to pick up the baby, some toy, or I dunno... SNEEZE?

and yes.... it HAS been 1000 degrees lately, thank you very much, and YES... I HAVE been sweating my face off from all the extra layers.

so anyways... on Tuesday morning, Rhena began her favorite game of "Uh-oh".... you know the one where she drops something and says "Uh-oh" over and over and over again??? and yes... the same game where she'll still say "uh-oh" even though nothing has been dropped in over 5 minutes and she has nothing in her hands TO drop cause mama's back is damn near broken??? .....yes. That's the game.

Anyways... so we're playing "Uh-Oh!", and I paused briefly to fix my pyjamas when suddenly out of nowhere my mom says,

"Oh, you don't have to fix your shirt... I know you have a tattoo."

Come again?

Turns out she never actually saw it, but the ole gypsy started noticing how I always grab my back or tuck in before I bend over. (I guess it would be hard to NOT notice, considering I do it about 549 times a day when she's around???)

Anyways... I suppose y'all are like... SO???? but you don't understand. my mom is one of THOSE moms. like the kind where you even THINK about doing something you know she's not going to approve of and suddenly you can't get Tootie from the Facts of Life out of your head saying "You're gonna be in Trooooooou-BLE!"

And I know, I know... what exactly would my mom do if she found out?? Ground me??? I mean... I *am* almost 33 years old... I'm married and have my own child now... c'mon! how bad could it be???

And I know all this... but yet.... the fact remains..... no matter how old I am, I'll Always Love My Mama... and I respect her more than anything. I really DO value her opinion, even though there are times I say "to hell with what she says!!".... it does not take away the basic and simple premise that I do not want to intentionally disrespect her.

Deep down, I guess I knew that as much as she wouldn't say too much about my ink-job... I know it'd be one of those things she just wouldn't quite feel the same about.... so I tried to keep it from her.

When she asked me how I thought about Rhena getting a tattoo... I was honest. .....At this point in her life... DEFINITELY NOT. ....But if she gets one some day... I just want her to wait until she's old enough to understand what permanent means. (and never mind all you that are gonna say how they can be removed.... that's a crock of shit for wishy-washy people.... and a cop-out. don't get me started!)

Anyways... I wish for Rhena to THINK before she does something, and to understand the word consequences. ....Whether it's a tattoo, marriage, sex, drugs, drinking, or whatever.... I want her to THINK before she chooses to go down a certain road. If she does so, and is willing to accept the consequences that come with that choice (and knowing some could be life-long...) then I support her.

So anyways... long story short.... I've been outed.... and I survived.

As for my mom.... I appreciate how cool she handled the situation (I guess respect goes both ways, huh?) and am now thrilled that I no longer have to wear shit tied around my waist in Charlotte summers. But ultimately, I think my mom is just happy I didn't end up in the circus as the Tattoo Lady like I wanted to when I was a kid.

Love you, mom!

Today's title brought to you by the Intruders, 1973

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


aaaaaaaahhhh.... now THAT'S what I call a good time.

this morning, my parents hit the road... headin' north to the promised land of New Jersey. They drove down last week and have been staying (PLAYING?) with us since last Tuesday. and like I said... we've had fun.

First off... I do need to stop and crown the Pig... though I have to say... I'm very disappointed. I was really pulling for Lucy. I was kinda shocked that SO MANY of you chose a side of bacon.... but hey.... some valid points were made. I still like Lucy better, though, and think she would be a force to be reckoned with.

ok.... back to this past week.

we did SO MUCH!!!! I kinda feel like that Johnny Cash song.... I've been everywhere, man! so... in case you plan on hanging out with a bunch of Polacks in North Carolina... I've prepared this little commentary guide for you. hell... even if you DON'T plan on touring around... you're welcome to read along. it should at least pass a few minutes of you're bored at work!

***disclaimer**** I'm not putting days on these, cause I forget what days we went where... so if you're one of those anal types that needs to know what day we did what... feel free to make up a day in your head.

The Carolina Raptor Center....

At first glance, this seemed like a good idea. Owls and vultures and eagles and well... other raptors all in one place. It was definitely very cool to see all these types of birds... but this bird sanctuary is located OUTSIDE in the woods.... and in case anyone hasn't noticed.... it's been HOTTER THAN SHIT HERE lately. strapping a baby to your body and trekking through the woods was probably not my finest idea. I was sweaty. Rhena was sweaty. Mom and Dad were sweaty. damn... I think I even saw the eagles wiping their heads a few times.

One of the signs for the vultures said that since it didn't have sweat glands, it often craps on itself to cool off. after that one, we decided to head for the car and turn the AC on full blast. all in all, though... it was interesting. I'll probably bring Rhena back there when she's like 8 and in the girl scouts or something. oh, and when it's not 1000 degrees out.

The Biltmore Estate.....

another very cool attraction for the central-slash-western Carolina region. The Biltmore estate is big. ....nay... I say... FREAKING HUGE!!!!! .....I linked to their website, so you can read up on the history of the house.... it was about a 2 hour drive from our house, and we actually spent the whole day on the Biltmore grounds. They have the house itself, the gardens, a winery... and a bunch of other stuff like trails and a horse show and some other stuff that was going on.

The house was a marvel. we did a lot of walking that day... which would have been fine if IT WASN'T 100 DEGREES OUTSIDE!!!!!!

Once again, I had Rhena strapped to me, so I became quite the heat box as we walked through this house. I guess I didn't think it through.. cause I knew we would be inside... but didn't realize there would be no A/C. there were some fans, but I couldn't help but hum the campy song by Buster Poindexter over and over and over (and over) again! HOT HOT HOT!!!!

Seriously, though... the mansion was very interesting. .....from the architecture to the decorative features... and just the history contained in the house. If you ever go--- get the audio guided tour. it's worth it. oh... and go when it's a little cooler out.

The Pool....

ok... no--- it wasn't a major attraction or anything, but even the pool was hot. I mean... this weather has been ridiculous. Seriously.... who SWEATS in the pool??????

insane, I tell you.

But... Rhena invited one of her little girlfriends over, and we swam for a little while. Since Concerned Mom didn't seem to be around.... we decided it was 'safe' to put the girls under. So here's some proof of my horrible-ness!

The rest of the visit was spent playing with Rhena's new toys, eating, playing cards, eating, playing with rhena's new toys, and then eating. I have a few more pictures posted in the photo-blog, if you're interested. But overall.... Gramma and Granpa got some good solid time in with the pooper, and I'm going to have a tough time living up to their antics now that they're gone. but that's ok. Grandparents are supposed to spoil. that's their job.

So maybe it wasn't all action-packed-non-stop-tourism-delight, but I think everybody should have visits like this. well... minus the 9th-circle-of-hell-heat-index... but you get the idea. This week was one of those weeks where you take a minute or two to really soak in the smiles, the laughter and love going on. good shit, you know?

so that's it for now. We're here for another week, then we''re off to see Troy's family for a week. Like I said... good shit!

today's title brought to you by Voyage, 1978

Monday, July 18, 2005

Stayin' Alive, week of 7-18

well, not much to report from the weekend, but no matter, cause it's Monday, and that means another match-up!!!!

I was percolating on who I should throw in the ring this week, and thinking about past contenders at the same time.

I'm feeling a bit domesticated lately... ( must be all the cleaning I've been doing?) so I thought this week would be fun for a good ole fashioned cat-fight..... Except... well... neither of the contestants are cats. but you know what I mean.

SO yeah... I'm thinking a good low-down, get dirty, and throw the bitch-slaps would be fun this week.

so without further ado... I give you the ladies of this week.....


now let's face it... despite being animated/puppetted... these are two tough broads. Equally fascinating is that they do have a soft spot for a certain fella... though I still wouldn't want to be the guy to piss either of them off!!!

So whaddaya say? Will Lucy deliver the ole one-two-you're-a-blockhead and slug the hell out of the sow, or will Miss Piggy work those magic ham-hocks and HIIIIIIIGH-YA Lucy into Charlie Brown's kite tree??? Only you can tell, dear readers... only you.

DING DING... let the best bitch win!!!

Friday, July 15, 2005


well... another week of voting is over, and ABBA delivered a CRUSHING blow to the Bee Gees.

that's right, with a final score of 14-7, ABBA took home the trophy this week.

there were a lot of good points brought up all around, and I'm still figuring out just how I feel about it. I love both groups, so either way one has to lose. I suppose it makes sense... I mean.. the Gibbs are a bit of pussies, aren't they?

that's all for now... I have something eating my craw, but I can't remember what it is right now... blame the self-induced slimfast coma I'm in.

So dance on, teenage beauty queen... feel that beat of the tambourine, ooooh yeah.

this post's title brought to you by the Bee Gees, 1978

Thursday, July 14, 2005

That's The Way I Like It

(uh-huh, uh-huh!!!)

nothing like a little KC & the sunshine band for the morning. or the afternoon. ....hell... KC and the sunshine band is good ANY time of day!

So there's really not too much to blog about specifically. I've been pretty busy running around like a chicken these days. My parents will be coming down next week for a visit, which is really cool, but it means the house must yet again be cleaned.

Actually my big project is cleaning up the rec room once and for all. It has become my "the rest of the moving boxes go in here til I figure out where the hell to put them" room. ......annnnnd.... with rhena's birthday rapidly approaching, and the influx of out-of-state family that will be visiting that weekend... I need to get the room emptied out. it would be nice to have a room that rhena can have all of her toys, too... instead of us tripping over shit downstairs all day.

so what else.

Thanks to everyone for the tooth-comments. I will post a photo montage and all the captions over at my photoblog later today. The good news is that he was able to get the tooth cemented back in. I guess he goes back in August for the real replacement... something about a titanium screw?? can you say OUCH??? that just does not sound like fun.... but the good news is that they only have like a 1-2% failure rate... (as compared to getting a bridge done, and having to get that re-done every 10-15 years) Bad news is that it's going to cost about $3000 dollars. talk about a titanium screw!!!!

oh... check me out.... I was given an award!!!!! Yup... I've been promoted to a Deputy Slacker over at the Daily Slacker's place. .....though I suppose when you boil it down... is this something I should be proud of?? ....ahhh... I am.

here's my badge.... I have to find a way to incorporate it into my template.

And I also got props over at John Boy's site.... I finally made the "Real People" list... though he may take me off the list cause I did HORRIBLY on his quiz. Maybe I'll at least get to stay on the list, but only be allowed in the fan club if I pay dues. ....he's all squishy for a girl right now, though, so I bet I'm totally under the radar anyway!

that's it, gang.. the brain is mush right now. perhaps I'll post later when I can think of something to bitch about. (who am I kidding... that won't take long!) what I mean is that maybe I'll post later when I can form more than one coherent thought?
either way... Rhena has begun to vote her toys off of Crib-Island, and she'll be pissed if I don't get up there for the finale!

today's title brought to you by KC & the Sunshine Band, 1975

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Hot Stuff

ok... this title is SO meant in jest.

The Johnson household is going down the tubes faster than you can say "call the damn plumber!!"

first of all... yesterday I was sick sick sick. YUCK. NOTHING wanted to stay in me, and I mean NOTHING. I'll leave the rest up to your imaginations... but if you wonder why I haven't been commenting and checking out your sites... it's cause I spent most of yesterday in the bathroom.

then there's Troy.... I've posted pictures of him on here once or twice before... but for any of you who don't know him... here he is this weekend holding the pooper. ..

well... yesterday he just crossed the line. I mean... what's a girl got to do to get some respect and to have a husband NOT go out to lunch???

So after hearing that he went out to lunch AGAIN.... I did what any sick (literally!) wife would do, and I clocked him!

YES, ladies and gentlemen... that is his front tooth that is now missing. and NO.... I didn't photo-shop this picture, and NO... I didn't really punch him! (though he DID really go to lunch, so our deal is off...)

I feel bad for him, really... I made him go get me a turkey sandwich cause I was still feeling el horrible last night, and all of a sudden his tooth fell out while he was eating! now to be fair, this has been a problem tooth for him in the past... stemming to some fight or a kick in the mouth or something as a kid.. ( I really have no idea, and to be honest... with Troy... anything is possible!!!) Anyways.... that tooth had always been kinda dead-looking. so when we were in Reno, he had it whitened a few times, then finally went ahead and had it capped. or something... all I know is that it looked better afterwards.

But last night... ploink! out it came.

My Lord... talk about self-fulfilling prophesy.... I mean... I know I bitch how Troy is a redneck with all this Nascar crap he makes me watch... but this is a little too close to the edge for my comfort.

I gotta say... I'm really creeped out by the whole thing.... and I can NOT STOP STARING AT IT.

part of me wants to have a caption-contest and make up a shirt with the winning caption to give to our friends for christmas or something. Troy asked if I was going to blog about his tooth.... so I said "Noooo..... (pause pause pause) YESSSSSSS!!!!" in the best Night-at-the-roxbury way I could muster. He said to at least make it really funny, but damn... I kinda think that picture speaks for itself!!!

but I really need something catchy for that picture. so far I've come up with:

"Have you seen my can of skoal?"


"What time does the race start??"

but then I get caught up in a fit of laughter and creepiness, and my mind craps out on me. SO seriously... any thoughts for a funny caption... I reckon would be much appreciated. get it? RECKON. *sigh*

In other news... the weekly match-up is still going on... be sure to check out how things are going, and if you haven't voted... for goodness sakes.... the longevity of disco and kareoke bragging rights are riding on this one... GET IN THERE AND VOTE!!!!

That's all for now. I'm still feeling quite bloogey. Last night's sandwich actually stayed down (or IN.... that would probably be a better word...) but I know I'm not quite right yet. I'm hoping it's one of these 24 hour things.... after all.... I have a husband to make fun of. I need to be on my game!

today's title brought to you by Donna Summer, 1979

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Don't Bring Me Down

So in addition to being the song of the week, this song by E.L.O. also happens to be today's title.

I don't know if it's all the hurricanes/tornados/tropical storms or WHAT... but people have been really expressive towards me. could it be that the weather's pressure systems have a direct effect on the population of Charlotte and beyond????

For example... the other day... I was in the pool with Rhena.. doing our happy-happy-squeal-holy-shit-mom-this-is-the-best-thing-EVER thing... really just minding our own business. We were good community people and said hello to folks and made some idle chit-chat. we splashed, we kicked, we floated.... all the stuff we used to do in swim class.

one of the things we also did in swim class was dunk Rhena under the water. it's harmless, and the teacher says it helps the children learn from the beginning that going under really quick doesn't have to be a scary thing.

so... not one to break tradition... I popped the pooper under a few times. One of the times I dunked her, a mom was very near by. we had been talking about the weather.. I had been admiring her 3 year old's awesome jumping ability (HOORAY FOR SO-AND-SO!!) well, while she was doting on her two children, I did the deed. it had been about a half hour since the last dunking, and her head was hot, so.. eh... why not.

The other mom turned white. for the first minute, she was speechless, grasping her chest and mouth all agape. Mind you... Rhena was FINE (F-I-N-E .....FIIIIIIIIINE... not crying.... FINE!!!!) I, of course, said hooray for my pooper, and clapped and told her how proud I was of her and hugged her and told her she did GREAT! but when I was done congratulating Rhena... I see this mom just shaking her head; starting to stutter.

Assuming she was needing some response from me... I told her that Rhena goes under the water all the time, because it was something she learned in swim class, and my husband and I want to keep reinforcing those lessons.

Concerned Mom kept shaking her head (still fucking clasping her chest, would you just knock it off already, lady???) and said... "Well, I... I... I just TURNED around, and then.. you... you... well, it was just this big SHOCK!!! .... I mean... there she was,... all happy, and then... well, then... you.... PUT HER UNDER!!!!"

While I was wiping some excess water from Rhena's face, silently counting to ten as my brain screamed "really?? no shit?? I mean, is... is.... is THAT WHAT HAPPENED????"... anyways, when I looked up, Concerned Mom had taken her two children and went to the other side of the pool.

Like I was going to make her children go under the water or something.

I dunno.... I mean... I agree that WATER should be respected. I myself don't particularly care for going in the ocean, and personally HATE lakes that have plants and dead bodies and things that grab your ankles and pull you under and stuff. Ok... so maybe I'm a *teeny* bit irrational when it comes to the ocean and the whole dead-bodies in the lake thing... but I can swim, and I don't become paralyzed with fear if I find myself in either one of them. Granted... the mental anguish BEFORE going in to either body of water is unspeakable... but this is about Rhena.. not me.

my point. Water should be respected.... not feared, though. I say respected, because one should always be cognizant of safety in the water... after all.. we're humans... we breathe AIR... not water.

I don't want Rhena thinking she can just jump in a pool without anyone around, but I certainly don't want her fearing the water, either.

But to gasp and stutter and then leave without saying another word???? I mean, c'mon... she was barely under for a full second. Where's all those nature-loving-gonna-have-my-baby-in-a-tub-cause-it's-less-traumatic-moms when I need them???

Anyways... I guess it just pisses me off that Troy and I decided several months ago the approach to water that we were going to take, and we're doing it. While this lady may not have agree with the methods of our practice... who is she to question... ESPECIALLY when my child wasn't even CRYING?????? Sure, the pooper had her usual shocked-what-the-who-the-why-the-heck look on her face... but once she got her hoorays from her momma, she was all smiles again.

oh well... I guess it's good that she showed concern. it's nice to know that I live in a community that has people that are against torturing children. But when all is said and done... she picked the wrong time, and the wrong momma to freak out with.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Staying Alive

Well... I can't quite call it the Monday-Matchup anymore.... doesn't fit the disco-title theme!


So welcome to the disco-ized version of the Monday Match-up!!!

For those of you not familiar with the match-up... the idea is simple. I mean, c'mon... I have a kid tear-assing around this house all day... you don't think I have the energy to do something DIFFICULT do you???

ANYWAYS... back to the rules.

simple. Each week I present a pairing of some sorts, and you get to choose who would kick who's ass. Now in the past it's been based on physical prowness alone... but this time, cause the 70's were full of drugs and shit that was just straight trippy man... well, this time we're going to allow talents to be considered in someone's ability to kick ass.

For example... if big boobs were weapons... Pam Anderson would knock out pretty much any competition.

(and yes, I realize that big boobs aren't necessarily a talent, but hey... in some cultures they might be, so just work with me...)

If dancing was a super-power... Napoleon Dynomite would smother Urkel.

get it?

ok... so once you figure out who you like better and for whatever reason... you simply leave a comment.

there's no prize, the contenders don't care, and frankly there's really no major point to it... but once you get in to it... it does get kind of fun... kinda like chicken fights... only different.


to re-start the match-ups, I've decided to reach deep into my bell-bottomed pocket, and pull out two bands to square off.

this week... I give you....


I'm personally having a tough time with this. both are GREAT disco bands... love love love them both.... but the Gibbs are/were OH-SO gay (not much fighting power there) and well ABBA is ... well... aren't they from Sweden? yeah... what's THAT about??

so anyways... feel the fever, kids.... who's going to take home the belt this week?

DING DING.... let the comments begin!

Friday, July 08, 2005

Got To Give It Up (pt. 1)

Remind me to STOP making propositions with Troy after I've been drinking.

You see... the night started out fine enough... I had made veal scallopini with a basil-dijon-butter sauce, some asparagus, and wild rice. Rhena ate her spinach, and we decided to have some wine with dinner.


So Rhena goes to bed, and now we're eating the cherry-cheesecake pie I made watching a STUPID movie (Assault on Precinct 13) when next thing you know, we've finished the bottle.

SO we did what ANY logical couple does on a work night after 9pm... and cracked open another one!


did you hear that??? I think I heard some kind of voice saying to stop drinking! I better ignore it... I wouldn't want to be responsible or anything!

So the next bottle goes down twice as fast as the first. and then we're drinking cosmos, and then we're drunk-dialing my girlfriend in jersey, and then I'm spilling my drink all over myself cause somehow the biggest mouth in north carolina suddenly shrunk and can't take a sip like a normal person.... and then my clothes are off, and then we're being married (or I guess we were being like a couple who's dating, cause we all know married people don't *do it*) and then next thing I know I'm proposing that I exchange sexual favors for every certain amount of days that Troy doesn't go out to lunch, and then the next thing I know it's 3:30 in the morning and that old bastard cat has snuck into my room again and took a shit in my throat.

But a promise is a promise, and day one of the lunch-exchange has begun. oy.

Other notes.... today is my mom's birthday!!! 60 years old!!! I have a lot of nice things to say about her, but I don't want to mash them in with a post about me getting drunk, so just know that she's a wonderful woman and I hope to be like her someday.

Next week shall mark the return of the MATCH-UP.... it's been a while, so I'll have to think of something sassy to kick things off again.

I'm going to be installing a new feature to the site, too... SONG OF THE WEEK. It'll probably be in the sidebar under 'dance fever'... so with some luck I'll have that going by monday, too.

today there is no tornado/hurricane/tropical storm looming about, so I may take the booger to the pool. or the aquarium. I still need to find out where it is.

but other then that... it's friday, so enjoy it.

OH! My friend Kelli is having her lymph nodes looked at today. Please say a little prayer in your own way that everything is ok with her. She's a dear friend and a new mom and well... I don't need any other reason. I love this girl, and I'm praying for her well-being. XXOO

ok... back to Friday-mode!!!

today's title brought to you by Marvin Gaye, 1977

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Le Freak

so it's funny how every once in a while I get a poster on my site and it reminds me of just how big this WWW is.

not even saying that my posters come from all over the world... but every now and then (ok, every time, cause I'm nosey like that!!) well, every time I get a new commenter, I go check out their site.

Lately I've been getting a lot of sexually explicit bloggers commenting on my site. which is fine... everyone has their own thing... but I just wonder what attracts them to my site. And when I say sexually explicit, I don't mean that they're being rude or crass to me or my peeps on here... I'm just saying that they're a LOT more open with their sexuality on their own blogs. Which again, is A-OK with me, cause the whole thing with blogging is being able to express yourself however you please. But again... with all the 'crap' (hah hah,... get it? CRAP!!!) I talk about here... I wonder what keeps bringing them back, or staying here long enough to comment.

I mean... last I checked I'm not surfing the web for nekkid pics of anyone, and I pretty much just bitch about poop and teeth coming in and how bored I get holed up in this house.

Could my new sassy pink font be a magnet for stay-at-home porn??? I dunno.

but the point is that it makes me remember that for as diverse as I'd like to think I am... I am NOWHERE even near the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the blogs that are out there.

So for a lack of a better word, I guess you could say I'm excited (get it.. excited? I really slay me!!!) that I have new commenters. I appreciate being able to be a voyeur into somebody else's life. especially someone who isn't cleaning up baby shit and drool all day.

So maybe that's it... I mean, there ARE two sides to every coin, right? maybe just maybe a stay-at-home-addicted-to-disco-mom life is interesting to some folks out there in a peep-through-the-window-kind-of-way. Naaaaaah.... it's probably just the pink font.

today's title is brought to you by Chic, 1978

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Give It To Me Baby

ok..... I was SO ready for this nap-time!!!!

I honestly do not know WHAT crawled up Rhena's ass this morning and decided to take camp on every last nerve of mine, but can you say


poor baby--- I think she's cutting another tooth or growing or she's just overly sympathetic to starving children in Africa.... cause she is just a pill today. cry cry cry, whine whine whine, bite bite bite, and repeat.

oh well. this too shall pass.

speaking of passing.... please pass the BLOGSHARES!!!!!

like I really needed ANOTHER thing to distract me from housework.... I was pibbling around on Slacker-Man's website when I noticed that he's listed on Blogshares. (look under Data Fever for the Blogshares button) then I come to find out that some dude named Steve Everett and Steph (from DJ and Me) are owners of my blog. Hello??? does anyone else find it weird that they own more of my blog then *I* do??? why am I always the last to find out about things???

anyways... it's my newest addiction, and I love it. I think EVERYONE should list their sites. I already have bought stock in about half of my link-list.... now get to work and make me money, bitches!!!

Just kidding... there's no actual profit you make off of this... and you guys are not my bitches..... (but you can be if you want to!!)

bottom line--- I'm having fun with it. I'm taking small joy in the fact that my blog is listed higher in value than my brother's... but that's not hard cause he never posts on his any more. (LOSER!!) I guess he's too busy Woot-ing to post these days. Though he should at least post his Woot entries to his blog... he can be quite creative when he actually tries..... but the last miracle I know of was quite some time ago, so I ain't holdin' my breath... ya knowwhaddayemean?

does anyone else watch these ridiculous summer programs that the networks are slopping at us? yeah, that's me....


I'm addicted to the red-head whore-bagger on Average Joe (the hot guys are SO NOT HOT this summer!!).... can NOT stop watching the train-wreck I-want-to-be-a-Hilton show, and am hooked for Strip Search. Biggest Loser is coming up, and So You Think You can Dance has got to make me piss myself at least once or twice.

I need to get a life.

today's title brought to you by Rick James, 1981

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Love Hangover -

I've got the sweetest hangover... that I don't want to get over!!!!

So the vacationing was fun... saw some folks, did a lot of relaxing, even more eating.... took a few pictures......

But the best part was coming home. plain and simple.. I missed Troy, I missed my bed... I missed everything. And this is a good thing, Martha... cause every now and then you need a dose of appreciation for the things you have.

But the best part was what happened the day AFTER I got home.

I was going about the usual coming-back-after-being-gone-two-weeks stuff.... you know... laundry, errands, food shopping... all that fun stuff.

So troy calls me when I'm in Target and tells me I MUST come to his office before I go food shopping. Do not pass go.. go directly to jail... the whole nine. So naturally this put me in a fanulous mood (NOT!!!!) cause it was hot as balls out, Rhena was getting ready for her nap, and troy wanted me to leave the parking lot I was in, to go to his work just to come back to the same damn parking lot so I could start food shopping.

but FINE..... I went.

and lemmee tell you.... I'm glad I did.

He comes outside with this bag of 'stuff'.... a series of notes and giftcards for Anne Taylor, Victoria's Secret, and a wine store.... and proceeds to tell me to get somethin' purty, cause we were going on a date that night, and yes... someone would be watching Rhena.


I love that guy....

the night was simply wonderful. we had dinner..... we had drinks.... we played the stereo in the car just a little too loud on the way home.

We were only gone for about 2 hours... maybe a little more... but what a difference those 2 hours out can do. I could have done without the shopping spree... though TRUST ME... I'm not complaining!!!!.....

But just that dinner without worrying about anything except whether or not I had enough room for dessert was all I needed to remember how much I love my husband.... and how much I really like us as a couple!!!

and the best part is that we promised to do it again. Yeah... I think he's a keeper!

today's title brought to you by Diana Ross, 1976

Monday, July 04, 2005

Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel

ok, ok... I know how every parent feels their child is THE most adorable child on the planet.....

so who am I to break that tradition?????

For the record.... I am SO IN LOVE with this baby.... and even moreso with Troy for him helping to make her. Granted, Troy is sitting in the King's Chair after the surprises he pulled on Friday... but I'll be posting about that tomorrow.

For now... I give you a picture of MY most adorable child on the planet.

Did I mention how much I love her???
ok... just making sure....

Today's title brought to you by Tavares, 1976

Turn the Beat Around

ok.... so the change has begun.

I'll be tweaking this and my photoblog over the next day or two... but it looks like July will be pink in a Foxy-Brown-Charlie's-Angels kind of way.

eventually I'll get to posting again... cause you know after a few weeks I have plenty to bitch about.

For now though... I'll continue to tweak the sites and be grateful for the freedoms I have been abundantly graced with.

Happy Independence Day, gang....

today's title brought to you by Vickie Sue Robinson, 1976

Friday, July 01, 2005

Back in the Saddle

ok, ok, ok....

so my site still looks the same.

one of these days I'll get around to putting something together. and it may very well be today... but not now.

I've been around and about these past few weeks. did a shitload of driving, and even had a driveload of shitting. The important thing is that Rhena survived a combined total of about 35 hours in the car with me, and we didn't have any accidents.

well... I *did* leave her diaper bag in the parking lot of some dentist office in the area of Alexandria, Virginia.... but there are worse things that could have happened.

It's july, and I've decided to stay in North Carolina this month. I WOULD actually stay in the house all day today, too... but alas... that damn food shopping fairy (THAT BITCH!!) didn't visit my house while I was gone, so I'll be needing to go acquire some food to eat.

Pardon the mess while I unpack and get settled again, though. Comments should be popping up soon (both on here, and on the sites I visit).

so enjoy your holiday weekends. Celebrate your independence. I myself will be celebrating my CO-dependence.... it'll be nice to have a husband and daddy for Rhena again. not that I didn't enjoy visiting and being all over.... But home is where the heart is, and it's sure nice to be home again.