Thursday, December 22, 2005

Home for the Holidays

Well.... in about 17 hours (as I write this) we should be hitting the road to drive up to New Jersey for Christmas and New Year's.

Yes... I AM writing this at about 9:50am, and we ARE leaving at 3am... or at least going to try like hell to do so.

Anyways... the bottom line is that we are going to be out of here. soon. which means ultimately that I should be packing and sorting and wrapping and everything associated with the frenzy of seeing family at Christmas... but my resolution for procrastination doesn't REALLY have to kick in for another 10 days or so.

So instead of packing etc.... I was reading my posts from last december... I wistfully find it funny how the person who wrote those posts last year seems SOMEWHAT familiar to me... but definitely not who I am now. like a distant cousin or something.

But that's good. It's be a long year, and a lot has happened. I SHOULDN'T be the same person.

The biggest change over these past 12 months is, of course, that we sold our house and moved across the country with a 4 month old. Spending two months without my husband definitely sucked, but I was fortunate enough to be WITH my parents during that time. I may not have shown my appreciation well at the time... and I may not even have KNOWN how much I would appreciate being with them at the time... but months 4-5 of Rhena's life were lonely and hormonal. My parents helped me keep my shit together. and THAT, people.... you can't even put a price tag on that.

By the beginning of March, Rhena and I were reunited with Troy in our new home in North Carolina. Around this time, I became aware of how heavily I depended on the virtual friendships I had made through my babycenter girls and my blog friends. I knew NO ONE in North Carolina... and it sucked. I was angry, feeling alone, and very trapped inside this huge house we had just bought. Plus it was raining like ALL the fucking time, and that just sucked balls, too. I honestly can not imagine how I would have gotten through those times without the internet. Often it was my only connection to life, and the support I so generously received from friends and strangers alike is unsurpassed. Once again, I'm not sure I fully appreciated the support I was getting at the time, but now, as I look back.. I realize and appreciate all of you..... my blog readers, my e-mail friends, and my November Newbies. You kept me alive.... you really did.

But, like the seasons, the grey lifted to bring way for a new time in my life. I began to meet people ( IN REAL LIFE!!! A REAL LIVE PERSON TO TALK TO!!!!!) and I started getting out of the house more. I explored my new city of Charlotte, did a lot of traveling, and started falling in love again. No... nothing juicy like the mailman or anything... just simple shit like LIFE. Things started getting good again.

And so it goes.

So here I am... now approximately 16 1/2 hours from time of departure, and I couldn't be happier. sure... there's shit to do, things to pack, errands to run, yabbitty blah blah... you know... STUFF.

But as a whole... things ARE GOOD. I have friends now. (in real life!!! IN MY TOWN!!! ON MY STREET EVEN!!!!!!) Our house has already become a HOME, and I can not go into any room without some vision of Rhena or memory of a friend or relative who has come to visit. Like I said... things are GOOD.

And now... like I said... we prepare to go to New Jersey. Kind of full circle, if you will... considering that the last time the Czernikowski crew was all together was back in January... right before Troy left for North Carolina. Back then we were so unsure of our future. No clue how long we would be apart... no idea where we would be living... (insert cartoony-sounding character saying "uhhhh, which WAY do we go??? which way should we go???") just holding tight to our faith in each other and God that things would work out fine.

and they did. over and over again. SO only fitting... we go home now in celebration. We go home to celebrate with FAMILY, and to honor FAITH. We'll pay tribute to NEW BEGINNINGS, and we'll respect OLD TRADITIONS. We'll THANK our families and friends for all they have done for us this past year, and we'll WISH THEM all the best for this coming year.

And like last January... I DON'T know what the future will hold. I'm sure that 2006 will bring more challenges and more triumphs. I imagine there'll be times of sadness, and times to rejoice. Friends and family will pass away, and we will welcome new lives with open hearts.

I DO KNOW, however, that I will continue to hold tight to the faith I have in my family and God, and things.... no matter what may come.... will continue to work out fine.


From all of us here at the Fever, to all of you, my dear readers.... have a very Merry Christmas.(or a Joyous Hanukkah, or whatever you choose to celebrate in these coming weeks)

May the new year bring you health, happiness, and a renewed sense of faith in all things good.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

oh no she DIH-INT

oh yes she did.

I mean... maybe it's just me.... but did anyone else out there think that Mariah looked like a fat coked-out floozy on the 2005 Radio Music Awards??? Well, maybe not coked-out... but definitely on SOMETHING.

and what was that shit about going on and on about interns of radio stations??? I mean... three cheers for the interns, yeah... but let's try making a little SENSE when you speak next time, Mariah??????

MARIAH.... seriously... babygirl..... from me to you......

TRUST me when I tell you that your tits don't look big... they look FAT. That silver shirt with the just-above your ass-crack jeans??? yeah... let's leave those to the younger girls shall we??? at least skinnier ones with boobs that are NOT in different time zones. I mean... I'm not skinny, either... but c'mon...... there's no need for you to be dressing like that. I'm sure there's a TON of designers that can make clothes to FLATTER you... not make you look like an old bag trying to be hip????

Speaking of bags.... back to your boobs. please wear a bra next time, ok, honey???? I've got a big rack, too.... but the look SO MUCH better when they're in FRONT on your body, and not caught all up in your armpits......

and next time DJ Clue has to scrape (or scoop... whatever form of assistance you want to label it) anyways... next time he has to scoop you out of your chair and help you walk up to stage... slip the cameramen a few extra bucks so they DON'T catch it and broadcast it on National TV.


and fat... but I think I already said that.

I still can't believe you're considered a diva. I think last night you singlehandedly stole the WHITE TRASH WHOREBAGGING FATGIRL title from Anna Nicole (pre-trimspa days, of course).

You've got a great voice, Mariah... you really do. Mostly since you lost the whole communicating-with-dolphins sound you had going in the 90's... but you've got talent.... you really do. You also have a few more years and a few extra pounds on you, so please... for all things holy, and even for those who aren't..... but at least have eyes that work.... lay off the drugs just a little, and COVER YOURSELF. please. I'll even lend you a shirt if you want!!!

Thanks, Mariah... and by the way... have a merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 15, 2005


ok.... it's officially winter. Well.. not OFFICIALLY-OFFICIALLY... I mean, that doesn't come til Dec 21st... but man oh man... we've got some shit-ass weather over here.

today's forecast?

shit. cold, icy, rainy, SHIT.

I mean, I accept that winter indeed DOES have to make an appearance, but why oh why must I go from wearing t-shirts to this imposed ice cavern of doom-better-just-stay-inside-and-enjoy-the-day-of-darkness???? (I kid you not... December 4th had temps holding at 68 degrees around here, and today I question whether the sun really still exists....)

now I know some of you with your 100+ inches of snow may be reading this saying "sour grapes, Johnson!!! take your ice and shut the hell up!!!" but I got news for you... your 100+ inches of snow is why I DON'T live where you live!!!! SO take your 100+ inches of snow and stick it in the same place you're thankful you live near family, in a bustling metropolis, or in some ridonkulously low housing market. If you DON'T have one of those three to fall back on... I ask you.. what in HELLLLLL are you doing living where you do then??? seriously.... grey. winter. snow... ICK. move someplace warmer!!!

ok... so back to my shit-ass weather.... cause this blog IS about me, remember.....

it just FIGURES that today is the day I need to drive all over creation to pick up pictures and go food shopping etc etc etc. Cold weather and food shopping are NOT a budget-friendly combination for me. it's cold?? oh... ok!!! I'll just buy $50 worth of soups, $75 worth of bread, and damnit to all hell, you KNOW I'm gonna break the bank down that stupid BAKING AISLE.

so much for me losing weight by Christmas.... I mean.. let's face it. cold weather means no walks with boogie, and lots of "it's 9pm, so let's turn on the fireplace, make some coffee and stay up all night baking!!!"

but I'm getting smarter... or at least a little more generous with my weight gain.... now when I bake... I make deliveries to all of my neighbors so THEY can get fat, too. I mean... it's half the calories and half the fat if I make two loaves of apple bread and give one away, right????

......stupid winter....... stay warm, people!!!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Filling Some Shoes

I'm not sure if it's the weather, the time of year, or the onslaught of menstrual hormones running rampant through my body.... but I'm feeling very reflective lately.

I've been thinking about Boogie.

and more importantly, the huge huge... and I mean BIG impact I have on her life.

now don't get me wrong... this isn't the first time I've thought about this... this was definitely a topic of discussion between Troy and me before we even went down the road to kids...

but lately... well... she's just become this little PERSON, so now more than ever, it's been super obvious of how important it is for me to be setting a good example. This little sponge watches EVERYTHING I do, and listens to everything I say. (why exactly, I'll never understand... I don't even listen to myself most times....) But the point is.... I am her primary example for just about EVERYTHING.

thankfully, I think I still have a *little* while before she figures out that I don't make my bed every day and should more than likely deep-clean the shower more often than I do..... but stuff like kind words, eating healthy, and showing others how much I love them, (and cutting back on the impatience and sarcasm) needs to be on the radar 24/7. And while I DO recognize that this is shit that should have been important to me all my life... and in many respects HAS been important to me, just not always outwardly obvious.... I can't say it's had as much personal meaning until lately.

Anyways... Boogie... if you ever read this (which BTW, you SHOULDN'T be reading this crap until you're much much older... Mommy uses waaaay too many curse words in here for you to be reading) again... if/when you should ever read this... just know that I'm watching. I'm watching you watch me, and I promise to make it worth your while.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Another Monday Match-up

well... here we are... another monday!!!

last week, I was busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest... and this week is shaping up to be more of the same. ....But onwards and backwards.... or at least that's how we roll in these parts!

I'd like to announce that this here post just so happens to be post #200 for me.... whuppidity do!!! You'd think that with my flare for bitching, I'd have more posts by now, but I guess my flare for distraction and laziness have also had a factor in this, too.

anyways... hooray for me!

on to the match-up!!!

I'm making my last-ditch effort to get these 100+ christmas cards out the door on-slash-by the 15th. This should prove to be a TEENY bit more challenging than one would think. you see... all of the PICTURES that I wanted to include in the cards are still at the photoplace, waiting to be picked up.... which I can't do until troy gets paid on the 15th. .So on the 15th, I should be a TAD bit busy cutting, stuffing and sealing 100+ envelopes so I can scurry to the post office... hoping maybe just maybe shit will get to people on time. or at least before valentine's day.

anyways... my match-up this week has to do with these little friends of mine... these Holiday Cards.

do you




and by 'stuffing', I mean... do you write the form letter that tells everyone what you've been doing with yourself for the past year, or do you just sign the damn things and send them out?

I personally can see the merits of both sides here, as well as markers of why I shouldn't do the other. But I'm curious.... what's the general thought line out there??? do you LIKE getting letters from people???

I know our dear pal Martha would be saying that only a hand-written note is acceptable in terms of etiquette, but let's face it... the bitch had some time in jail to get caught up on stuff.... and it's not like she's putting ALL that much work into the Apprentice.... so clearly she can take her hand-written shit and do something useful like make me some cookies.... I mean.... REALLY!!!! ....Mama's gonna be up late signing cards, and this week's version of PMS can only be quelled by cookies. fistfuls and fistfuls of cookies.

so which is it, gang..... Letters in the Holiday cards, or NO LETTERS?????


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

sugar cookies

you know it's going to be an interesting day when you turn the corner at 8am and see your daughter breaking into a tin of sugar cookies.

Maybe she was trying to get a jump start on celebrating JohnBoy's birthday????

yeah... maybe... or she's just like her father. Probably a little of both!

Happy birthday, JB!

Why so down, Mrs Brown???

so I've been wondering just what the funk is going on over here.

I've been kinda feeling like I'm in a bi-polar crossroads of some sorts. I feel very happy with life right now, yet utterly unimpressed and quite blah.

I feel like I have lots to say, yet don't feel like talking to anyone.

I feel very gross and unattractive right now, yet am quite content with who I am and what I look like.

I'm feeling homesick, but am loving my house and neighborhood more and more each day.

Is this part of the processing path to Stepford? Am I doing some kind of brain-dump of my former self so I may fit the role of suburbia better?

I'd say I need a break, but I don't know from what. Actually, that's not true. I know what, or rather WHO I need a break from, but every once in a blue moon this person reads my blog, so I can't be all "yeah... so-and-so annoys the SHIT outta me!!!" or anything like that. And even if I DID go on and on about my level of irritation for this person... and really call them out for the fuckernut they can be.... what good would it do???? I just make myself look like an ass for going off on some human, and even more like an idiot for not being able to rise above their continuously SELF-CENTERED, insipid, RUDE and belittling comments all the time. but I'm not. I'm not going to go off..... I'm going to go to bed and call it a night and hug my husband and then wake up and spend the entire day with Boogie.

and I'm going to smile.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Merry Matching

ok, ok... so I've been slacking on the posting in a big way, but hey... last week was really busy!

I had a great birthday week... thanks to all who posted their wishes to me!!! I received some great stuff... starting with a necklace from Tiffany's (my girlfriend from jersey is the best, isn't she???) on Monday! Gotta love starting the week with Tiffany's! The week progressed with more cards and gifts (really cool T-shirt, a CD of christmas music, some moosemuch, flowers, and more candy) a DATE with Troy on wednesday night (saw Walk the Line... interesting flick... I enjoyed it!) and a hair cut on Thursday (got it all chopped off.... and as much as I love love love it, I think it borders on MOM-HAIR) and I can't even remember what happened on friday.

We had our Annual Christmas Social on Saturday.... it was a good time. We had 32 or 33 people here, not including Troy and myself, so it was quite festive. I may or may not have had a few glasses of wine and shots of VO..... but I definitely did not remember to take pictures. ooops!

We did take one picture of the two of us before the party started, but I'll share that later this week... after all... today is match-up day!


each monday, I wonder what is better of two things. Mind you... I know I wouldn't change my mind about something (for example... there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL you would get me to have anything other than white non-blinking lights on my tree. PERIOD. Although that *WAS* the most popular choice, so I guess this is a bad example. But Jody mentioned fire... real live fire, and I think Carlotta had some musical lights, which both are cool in my book.... but definitely still not changing my mind with the non-blinking white christmas.)

My point is... just because I'm a stubborn ole cow and will not change my likes or dislikes... that doesn't mean I'm not curious to what other people think. so once again, on a monday... I find myself pairing up stuff for public opinion.

ok. so Monday. let me get back on track here.

For today's merry match-up.... I'm appealing to your mouths. What tantalizes your tastebuds????? this week, I present:


now given the bunch of lushes that tend to read my site, (and yet not assuming there isn't a designated driver or two out there) I'm leaving the level of 'spike' up to you. I mean... for all I know, your favorite thing to drink is Brandy.... but if you HAD to add a mixer to it, would you prefer the Cider or the Nog?

So which kicks more ass, gang??? Keep in mind there are SOOOOO many facets to be explored here.... ability to fill a person up, dietary needs, regurgitation factor, ease of preparation, availability, then of course... personal taste.

so which makes your spirits bright (figuratively OR literally???)


Thursday, December 01, 2005

Happy New Year

well, it's that time of year again.... the beginning.

Yes, I realize that today is DECEMBER 1st, and not January 1st... but for me... this is a new year.

Yesterday I ushered out the old (younger) me by going on one last date with Troy. I made coffee cake. I invited a friend over for lunch, and I got my boo-hoo-hoo call from my dad.

(side note... the boo-hoo-hoo call has happened every year on the day before my birthday for as long as I can remember. My Gram Czernikowski used to call us every night before our birthday and proceed to 'fake cry' about how sad she was that we would no longer be such and such age. She really took 9 going on 10 especially hard, and had a field day with becoming a teenager. Come to think of it, 19 going on 20 was a bit over the edge, too, but by then she could have been taking meds, so who knows??? In all seriousness, though, as much as we teased her about it, it is a tradition I refuse to let go of, even though she passed away a number of years ago.)

so yeah... yesterday was complete as far as I was concerned once I got my boo-hoo-hoo call. Everything else was just gravy in my book. Or better yet; ice cream... I really don't like gravy.

SO today I welcome in my new year with resolutions and a positive spirit. Granted, I'll be welcoming a new haircut at about 12:30 today, so that in itself does wonders for the spirit!!!

But seriously... it's a good day. A fine way to start a new year. Things in my life are really fucking good right now. I have a wonderful husband and a daughter that makes my heart explode with happiness. I've been blessed with a loving and supportive family, and I have really awesome friends who have gone the distance more than once with me.

resolutions??? maybe a little less conversation, a lot more action???

No--- I'm not planning to go to vegas anytime soon... just that I'm going to really work on being more active and slow down on yapping about shit that I'm not happy about.

that's definitely my biggie resolution this year. others include curbing my profanity, being that Rhena should be talking for real soon, and I really don't want her first words to be "sonofafuckingmotherfucker!!!!!" Probably not so good.

let's see... be more thoughtful to others, be more knowledgeable regarding worldy events and local politics, procrastinate less, and continue to recognize and appreciate the abundance of goodness in my life. yeah... that should work.

So Happy New Year to me, and happy new year to you!!! I'd say more, but my boogie is awake, and I have a package that arrived yesterday to open.....