Monday, June 23, 2008

Summer of Love

so it's either a GOOD thing or a BAD thing that I haven't blogged in so long.

BAD, cause I've been doing a lot of stuff that I should have blogged about.... but GOOD, I suppose, cause I've been doing a lot of stuff and haven't had time/energy to blog.

either way.

here at the fever, we have been experiencing the summer of LOVE. love love love, I tell you! We spent a good three weeks up in jersey, in which time we were able to see a large number of friends and family.

Each trip/visit was good in its own right. how VALIDATING to be surrounded by people you love and love you right back. When I was at susie's, the best term I can think of to describe how I felt was 'unplugged'. no tensions, no stress... (ok, maybe a TEENY bit when my kids were screaming and when we allowed our 3 year olds to sleep in the same room "cause you know what, momma? I've never sweeped in We-um's room before and we are just good friends and I am going to sweep in his wittle bed and we are going to have so much fun cause I've never sweeped over his house before..." (and so on and so on) and that first night took a TEENY bit longer than normal to get the kids actually settled and sleeping.) but seriously. no stress. there were comfortable silences, there was no urge for hoopla. ok, maybe an ass-grab here and there... but it was just a coming home of sorts. ODD, as I had actually never been IN that particular house of theirs, nor had I actually met their youngest in person... but it was that kind of home that only your heart can speak to.

I ALSO got to see a dear friend of mine from college. It had been a few years since I last saw Little Girl; collectively three children had been born since our last meeting. Marilyn is one of those people that I lost touch with during my year of puking and subsequent darkness while trying to survive Danny's first year on the outside. Actually, we had lost touch during the move to NC process; me puking and being sleep deprived just compounded the fear of rejection and lack of energy I felt in trying to reconnect.

BUT, like any good love story; we got back together, and even had the reunion hug in a parking lot to boot. Seeing HER and her children was another wave of emotion for my soul. To know and see that a friendship can withstand that much time and space without a drop of love lost... well... how can I not feel blessed?

Back in jersey, more visiting was had. we saw my brother, his wife and the kids. unfortunately not as much as I would have liked to, but the kids were still in school, which meant their incessant schedule of practices and games and meetings and homeworks were still at full blast. (side note holy CRAP I'm so glad we only have 2 kids cause the school years and coordinating schedules scare and TIRE the living bejeezus out of me)

I saw my cousin Rachel. This was one of the most conflicting visits I had while in jersey, and I'm almost glad it was one of the last ones. Rachel, as you know if you've been around here for a while, has cancer. Rachel is 3 months older than me, and by every right of our upbringing, is the closest blood-relation I have that could very well be my sister. Rachel looked like SHIT. which, in saying that.. I say with no ill will... just calling it like it is. cancer SUCKS, people. and it does NOT look good on my cousin.

She is bruised and has a yellow tone to her skin. Her hair is gone again due to this current regime of chemicals. She is weak, and walks worse than our 90+ yr old grandmother. yet.. amidst all her frailty, I saw the strongest person I could ever meet. I could never possibly encapsulate another person's will to live with words, but the mere fact I have personally witnessed it makes me re-think how I view things. Seeing Rachel reminds me how precious life and relationships are, and it really reminds me to choose my battles, especially when the relationship is worth fighting FOR.

being gone for so long made me realize how much I missed home, too. and this time I mean home as in Stepford. sure, I make fun of stepford all the time.. but this is our HOME now. and Troy was still home. now... I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I really didn't miss troy that much at first. I mean.. being in jersey was NICE. no laundry, no cooking, no cleaning... no errands. I really got a break! but by the time week 3 rolled around, I knew it was time to get back. we are truly a team of FOUR, and when anyone is out of the picture too long.. well... things just don't level out.

But the time gone was good. my parents did their usual bending over backwards to accommodate us in every fashion. speaking of bending over; I'm sure they were happy to give the knees and backs a rest after we left. not saying the kids gave them a run for their money... but they did. oh, and my coming home drunk that one night probably didn't help much either. HAH! (and we won't talk about danny's meltdown at the picnic or him throwing up all over my mom or me dropping the shower door on my foot.... that shit's just par for the course, right?)

eventually I'll sign up for the upgraded version of flickr, and I'll get all of our pictures up. that's on my list of things to do this week.

but we're back. (speaking of back; I'll go back over this post later today during naps and update with appropriate links and pictures.)


Kelli said...

Oh, so jealous of those ass grabs. :) Glad you had a nice trip!

Wethyb said...

This what happens when you don't blog often--you get the novel blog. I'm on my way there myself.

Sorry about your cousin. That really sucks and, you're right, it doesn't look good on anyone.

Glad you had a nice trip though and got to see family and friends.

Anonymous said...

Prayers as always for Rachel.

And we miss you guys! "Mama, can we go to Norf Carolima?"

Hänni said...

It's good you're back and good you had a break from blogging (recharging your batteries so you can more effectively hump the date rolls out of someone is always good *eh hem*)