Monday, January 14, 2008

Win some, lose one

bleh. I knew this would happen. Troy whooped my ass this week in our diet challenge.

He lost 3.8 pounds this past week, and I only lost one. I SHOULD be happy, considering I ate at wendy's on friday (junior bacon cheeseburger AND french fries... I about died from the delight of it all) AND I have yet to go to the gym.... and hey.. one pound is one pound!

but still. I hate losing. losing in a competition, that is.. not losing weight. we've already established that I like to do that.

The prize this week is that the winner receives a half-hour, full-attention (meaning no tv, no excuses) massage from the loser. bleh. I HATE giving massages. I have weak hands or something (read I'm lazy) but man.. I just lose interest in the giving after like... 2 minutes.

oh well. fair and square.. I'll pay up. my total loss is up to 6.2 pounds. not bad for 2 weeks in.

in other news.. I participated in a north carolina university survey yesterday. it was based on parenting techniques/discipline behaviors. there were a lot of questions that established environment.. such as race, income, neighborhood, and marital status as well as primary child care situations.

after all that was established, they asked my and troy's habits in terms of interaction with Danny. they stated that their line of questioning comes from statistical findings of discipline methods from around the country as well as around the world. so yeah, yeah.. I started answering. the questions started off easy enough... how often do I praise Moosey, cuddle with him, read a book to him. then they got into the negative disciplines... asked how often I or my husband hit danny with an object such as a belt, spoon, or hairbrush on his buttocks.

This question didn't strike me as too alarming, as I know there are people (some of which I consider friends) that consider 'spanking' as an effective method of discipline for their children. This is NOT a method that Troy and I believe in or will ever be convinced to employ for our children for SO MANY reasons that I shall not list here... as that is not my topic. not that I've ever been afraid to go off topic or say something that might piss other people off... I just want to get back to the survey.

anyways.. I was easily able to answer the questions seeking to know that troy and/or I have never smacked, swatted or otherwise hit our children with any object or with our bare hands on their buttocks, back, head or other part of their bodies. Then the questions went further. have we ever pinched our children? intentionally put spicy food in their mouth as a form of punishment? called them names like stupid or useless? threatened to leave and never come back? locked them out of the house? scream or curse at the child? shake to stop crying? scald, brand, or otherwise burn?

at this point in the survey, I could not contain my emotions. the 'focus group' of the survey were children UNDER the age of two. answering these questions and watching Moosey play in front of me made me want to throw up. do people REALLY do that? to BABIES???

overall, the survey made me sick and unsettled. are we as a society THAT uneducated and barbaric?

again.. it made me sick and unsettled. and perhaps there's no point to my writing this other than to get it out of my system. I know where I stand in terms of what I feel is acceptable methods of discipline for my children, and I will do my best to always rise above the symptoms of the situation so that my children can learn to do the same in THEIR future without resorting to violence. my only question is that I wonder if that's going to be enough.

note - If you want to comment, I encourage you to keep in mind the following. First and foremost... this is NOT about you. If YOU do or don't beat, curse at, swat or otherwise hit your children in the past, present or intend to do so in the future... that's your business. Frankly, I don't WANT to know. I just wanted to share my personal experience and reactions to something that happened yesterday. and to let it go.

at the end of the day, I found myself able to love my children even MORE. My resolve to be a positive influence on my children was re-established and recharged. and while I know that's no sure-fire guarantee that my kids will turn out to be GOOD people when and as they grow up, it's still what's going to work for me and troy.


Anonymous said...

you deserve a handicap, men burn it faster than women!

Susie said...

Bleh your list made me feel sick... and I'm also thinking about my children interacting with other children that are "disciplined" in this way and take to acting out in similar way.

Way to go on the weight loss!! You could always soak your hands in ice water before applying your massage! Oooooh that's mean...!

FINY said...

One thing to keep in mind: do you actually know the full scope of the research study? Working in an industry that holds quite a few focus groups, there are many times when you're comparing age groups, and in order to be consistent, you have to ask the same questions to all participants. Just a little glimmer of hope (or at least, I'm REALLY hoping that's the case).

Christi said...

It does scare me to think that there are people out there that do that and think nothing of it.

Life Of Abbreviations... said...

Hey woman! Remember that I'm back in Illinois for an undetermined amount of time so I want an email if you guys are coming out here!

I agree, your list made me ill. Especially since it was about children...husbands on the other hand....LOL! J/K

kittenhead66 said...

how did he manage to lose almost 4 pounds in one week? lucky guy.

i'm with you on that survey. it would have made me unsettled too!!

Marianna said...

My gosh, that makes me sick to think people do that to children... babies, worst yet!

You go girl! Lose some weight for me, will ya?!


Wethyb said...

I hate giving massages too. Love getting them tho :)

Mmmm, Wendy's--no, bad thoughts--go away! We gotta stick together on this weight loss thing :D