A different kind of Match-Up

Now I bet you're all thinking I'm gonna get soft and charitable on you here.... and with good reason... I mean... like I've said before... there's plenty of things that we can be doing to help our fellow brothers and sisters in the Katrina affected areas.



But the answer is no.


No.... unfortunately, I'm back to being a selfish biatch for the moment.



Today, or this week, rather... I have my own little match-up going on...


I'm weaning Rhena.



Yeah... it's been time in my head for quite a while now... but Rhena has shown no signs of taking to a bottle. SINCE JANUARY.


so, she's been doing really good with her varying shapes of sippy cup things... so I tried to slip a little formula into one of those thingamabobbers. NO DICE. When Rhena tasted the formula, she gagged and cried as if someone was pulling her toes off.


So lately (past month or so) she's been snacking on whole milk, and since she's near that first-year milestone, I figured it would be ok to just stop nursing and give her whole milk.... without having to go through the gag-cry-scream-gag-formula routine again.

Now when I say ok, I mean it looks good on paper, and all things being equal, we shouldn't have a problem. Drinks milk... check. uses sippy thingamabobbers....check. Hungry in the morning.... check check check. ....Even Troy agreed it was a logical time, and how often does THAT happen??


so this morning, I tried to give Rhena a thingamabobber full of warm milk, instead of the glorious Christmas Hams.

oh, sorry... for those of you not familiar with my mammories; I've been referring to the milk-bags as Christmas Hams. They're about the same size (34DD) and Rhena takes to them in the same fashion as Tiny Tim with his new cane at Christmas Dinner... hence, the HAMS.



So after about 20 minutes of ear-bleeding screaming and choking on her own tears and snots, Rhena convinced us she wasn't quite ready to give up the Hams...


I mean... can you blame her??? LOOK at these pups!!! I could feed a small village off of these things!

So anyways... my challenge then becomes one of how I get her to go from the hams to the cup. without it being a traumatic experience for all involved. By October 14th.


First step I'm taking is to not nurse her AT ALL during the day... no matter how much she cries. Susie mentioned going somewhere for a distraction... so we're going to try going for walks. ...I still have 10 more pounds to lose, so walking is good. It's probably a better idea then what I had... which was to drink a few beers or wine coolers throughout the day which would REALLY prevent me from just giving in to her. Don't get me wrong.. I still LIKE the drinking idea better... but on paper and all that... the distraction method may be healthier. .....and at least I can legally and safely drive with that method.


Second step is to cut back my length of time I allow her on the hams in the morning and before bed.


the morning one I can deal with her not getting enough, cause she'll be awake, and I can give her the thingamabobber later if she's still hungry. the before-bed feeding is tricky, though... if she's hungry... will she wake up in the middle of the night? after over 6 months of sleeping through the night... do I really want to jinx this???

I mean, I KNOW the answer is that you do what you gotta do.... but that doesn't mean I'm not envious of the babies out there that decided on their own they were tired of nursing, or those that were switched over at a younger age, where they hadn't formed a strong opinion/attachment.


in the end, though... it's time. whether or not Rhena knows this or is willing to accept it easily... it is time.

No comments necessary, but if you want to cheer me on, please do. I imagine Johnson-ville is going to have 2 cranky bitches on its hands until we get settled in a new routine.... so if you're not going to be a supporter, then kindly please fuck off... I'm not in the mood for criticism. I'll gladly let you know when I'm ready to hear opinions again, but for now... if you ain't being nice.... you's gots to go elsewhere.

.....now where's my drink??? oops... I mean DISTRACTION......

Hello... BREAKING POINT????

ok... so by now you've noticed I've changed the looks around here a little. still a bit of tweaking to do, but it's just about 11:30pm, so I doubt I'm going to do it tonight.


I still want to call attention to the blogger projects that are going on... so buy some t-shirts or send Melissa some stuff...

here's to hoping a few hours of sleep will get the brain working again to fix the last bit of coding glitches....



sweet dreams, gang...

Born to Be Alive

ok.... so I've posted before about my "Screw-Starbucks-people-need-WATER" mentality.... and I've encouraged you to donate to Red Cross.


Some of you answered with a WELL DUH.... others have expressed personal hesitation towards the red Cross itself.


that's fine... I GET THAT. Well, now there's a way that you can express some charity and get something for it, too.


In this fabulous Blogger community... there are a few outstanding writers who were directly affected by Katrina. and when I say directly affected... I mean... they HAVE NO HOME to go to... they HAVE NO TOWN to go home to.


We're not talking about sending thousands of money to people who didn't have a pot to piss in in the first place..... (again... just express some of the hesitations I've heard and read... I'm still from the train of thought that every person at least deserves food and a safe place to sleep until a shred of normalcy is restored...)


ANYWAAAAYS......

here's the deal. JohnBoy has tuned me into a few blogger-specific charitable efforts that are going on to help other fellow bloggers. That's right... Bloggers helping bloggers.


PLEASE go and check out his site as well as the other sites he lists. Another FABULOUS idea he has going (and I say fabulous cause I came up with the idea... he he he) anyway.... here at CafePress.... you can purchase some baby-related gear to support the Blogger-Relief fund.


if you're a mom, and you blog..... I desperately ask you to find something in this selection and make a purchase. They have t-shirts, sweatshirts (perfect for fall!!!) and diaper bags and stuffed teddy bears and BIBS!!!!! who can't use BIBS???? (Sizes for the gear ranges from infant to kids' sizes.... so no excuses!)

they are reasonably priced, and all proceeds are going to help Katrina Relief funds. Plus... you get something undeniably snarky for your kid to wear.

EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A KID... or are a DAD..... there are other styles of Blogger Tees to choose from. Please take a look HERE and see if you can order something.



Another way to directly help folks is over at Melissa's site. She was not directly affected by Katrina, but her town has taken on hundreds of refugees. She has been regularly visiting the shelters and bringing them clothing, food, toys, etc. She has offered to accept clothing and toy donations and bring it to these people who will most likely be living in these shelters for several MONTHS.


Again.... there are soooo many ways to help people.. Red Cross or not. So please take a little time and check out the links I and so many others have listed.

Like the title says... people are born to be ALIVE.... and some of these people are just barely surviving.

Every little bit helps. Thank you.




today's title brought to you by patrick hernandez

KNEE DEEP

we interrupt your regularly Disco-titled blog posts to announce that the levee has indeed broken. REPEAT... the levee has BROKEN!!!!!


Rhena has pooped.


and there was poop, and it it was good.



seriously... I'm knee-deep in baby shit here, but I couldn't be happier. well, except that now I'm dangerously low on diapers and wipes, and I have to head to Wal-mart.....


but other than that.... life is good.




We now return you to your regularly scheduled disco-bitching.....

If My Friends Could See Me Now

...somehow I'm thinking they wouldn't be so jealous.



Yeah.... life is going on as normal here in Johnson-ville... normal, except for the pooper's pooper.

yes... I DO realize I talk an awful lot about my daughter's ass, and her ability to or NOT TO poop regularly.... but I never promised great literary works here, folks.... I mean, for Christ's sake... I like disco music... what are you expecting????

so yeah... we're going on day four with no signs of a bowel biscuit in sight.


This disturbs me greatly... as I see what I'm feeding her, and I'm wondering where it's hiding, and worse... what it's finally going to look like when her pipes start working again.


People... we're talking broccoli and cheese soup, we're talking creamed spinach and yogurt and peas and more yogurt and meat sticks and like 80 grapes (roughly 20 a day?) and custard and chicken and milk and apple juice and more yogurt and chicken and ham and tomatoes.... and on and on.

I shit you not.... or rather Rhena not shits you??? whatever... no matter how you say it...it ain't gonna be pretty when it comes out.


so I wait.


I gave her some veggie laxative drops this morning... they take from 6-12 hours to work.... if they don't produce the juice by tomorrow morning, we're calling in the bulb-style-stick-it-up-her-hiney stuff. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO DO THIS.


we had to use them once in michigan, cause by then she was up to 6 days or something.... and it was horrifying for me. Rhena didn't care for it either, but uggg... it's just not a fun thing to do. I wonder if Roto-Rooter would come in and do it for me... they do house calls, no?


anyways... so praying for these drops to work. in the meantime... we're just here working on differentiating between HAPPY screams and SAD screams and TIRED screams and I HAVE TO POOP ALREADY CAUSE IT'S BEEN FOUR DAYS screams, and HUNGRY screams.


are you noticing a pattern?


yeah. enter the SCREAM phase.

Remember that old commercial for MTV or something, like when they still played videos and stuff?? It said something along the lines of "if it's too loud, you're too old".... 'member that? yeah. well ding fucking ding... I guess I'm too old, cause my child is DEFINITELY too loud.

But that's fine.... I'm cool with this..... albeit slightly TONE DEAF, but definitely cool with it.


I'm cool with it because this IS the life I chose. I mean... I'm cool with it, cause I kinda HAVE to be... but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was having fun, too. Sure... I don't go out on a friday night in the city and get to talk my way into clubs and steal rocks from Bungalow 8 and nor do I actually have a clue where Cain is.... but I think there's a flip side to everything.


I get to hear the stories of the fabulous lush-life without killing myself in heels, and my friends can hear the joys of motherhood minus the screaming.

well.. minus Rhena's screaming. sometimes they hear a little of my screaming.... but only in short quantities.






today's title brought to you by Linda Clifford

Come On And Do It

you know... if everybody took just one day and gave up their venti-mocha-grande-half-caff-skinny-vanilla-chai-lattes, or actually drove PAST the local fast food place instead of ordering a number two super-king-wendy-sized with a diet coke and gave that $5 to the red cross..... a few more people might have water to drink tonight in Lousiana and other areas affected by Katrina.


think about it..... then do something about it.


In other words.... stop pointing the finger and start pulling the thumb.



You..... $5. Make a difference today.





today's title is brought to you by Poussez

Love In C Minor

ahhh, yes. August 30th.


Time is a funny thing. I mean, I look at today's date, and first, I'm amazed that it's almost September already. I mean... what the hell happened to this year??? but that seems to happen all the time... I'll be here, putzing along like I usually do, then I realize that half or 3/4ths of the year has gone by. crazy.

But August 30th has a special kind of time warp for me... cause it's my anniversary.


Yup. 2 years ago, I married my beefcake.


but wait a minute... only TWO YEARS have gone by??? True, we have been together for 4 1/2 years, but that still seems like such a small number in comparison to the experiences we've shared thus far.

SO I guess that's good.... or is it? I mean, I love the level of familiarity we have... but aren't we still supposed to be all lovey-dovey and stuff?


yeah right.... like we've EVER been all lovey-dovey. No.... we may not be the saccharine-style-up-each-others-asses-with-matching-outfits-to-boot type of couple.... but there is love between us. Big love.


I mean... at this point in our lives... there HAS to be big love. .....but that's besides the point.


This man of mine is the one for me. No one else could fill his shoes, nor do I want them to. Troy is my motivator to get me moving faster and stronger, and my pace maker to slow me down before I burn out. He lifts my spirits right out of this world while making sure I stay grounded. He is part of every decision I make (whether he knows about it or not) and yet I have never had a stronger sense of independence and individuality. He is predictable yet never fails to surprise me. He is SOOOO not funny, but makes me laugh every day.

He is the man that held my hair back when I was puking from contractions. He is the one that holds my hand when I'm scared and just because he loves me. He has seen me at my worst times and my best times, and treats me the same either way.

He is my love, my partner, and most of all, my friend. And I realize that pretty much NO ONE in the world will ever look at him the way I do, but that's ok.... because I love knowing that what we have between us is just between us. Cause you know when it comes down to it... that's where it counts the most.


Happy Anniversary, Troy.... you really are a good boy.







today's title brought to you by Cerrone

Stayin' Alive, week of Aug 29th

ok, ok, ok..... last week's match-up sucked. I admit it. call it low blood sugar, or junk-food withdrawals, but Phillips vs Atkins???? yeah... WEEEEEEEAK.


Props to folks for mentioning Richard Simmons and Jack LaLane. my oh my... that would have been good.


Today is yet another un-inspiring Monday. I mean, I have lots of stuff going on... today is Rhena's first music class, tomorrow is Troy and my anniversary... then of course, are the volumes upon volumes of laundry and dusting to do. glamorous shit, I tell ya!


but yet... I'm drawing a blank for the match-up. could the run of match-ups be dead?


hmmmm... dead. possible topic..... ok.


got it.


now, it's nothing fabulous, so don't get your panties in a bunch.... but here's one I've wondered about. Who... or shall I say... IN WHAT FORM does Elvis kick more ass???


DEAD or ALIVE????


that's right, gang.... we're bringing back the King for another appearance on the weekly Matchup. only THIS time, he's pitted against himself.


so this week, I give you..

ALIVE ELVIS

vs

DEAD ELVIS

so think about it.... Was Mr. Presley more powerful in his living years, or from beyond the great pearly gates of Graceland? Curious to hear your thoughts... and whether the cry will be "Long-Live the King" or a defiant and resounding "Elvis has indeed left the building".



DING DING.....

That Lady

so pretty much anyone who has an e-mail account has received one of those poke-your-eyes-out-this-is-so-frigging-sappy-but-send-it-to-everyone-you-know-or-you're-gonna-die e-mails. you know the ones... they're all different topics.... but all the same.


As long as you remember to say hi to your friends every once in a while, that being a mother is tough, be kind to others, pretend that every damn person you meet is Jesus in disguise and say "I love you" to the important folks, cause they or you might die tomorrow.... you should be fine. except, of course, if you don't send the e-mail to everyone you know... cause then Hell's damnation is yours. immediately. Oh... and if you don't believe in Jesus, you're screwed too... just ask all the 'Christians' who are starting these e-mails.

But I digress.


This morning, I was thinking about one of those e-mails that talks about how different people come and go in your life, and how each serves a purpose, and each is important... so pass along or have horrible luck for ever, right?


so I was thinking this morning about my cousin Rachel. Rachie Poo... Snort-Giggle (or was it Giggle-Snort??)... whatever you may or may not know her as.... today is her birthday.


Now Rachel was my best friend from like BIRTH through I'd definitely say middle school. Partners in crime, teamsters against the world (or at least against my older brother and our older cousin) terrors to her little brother and just plain wholesome dorks.

No birthday party was complete without us pairing up, disappearing and breaking SOMETHING. I'd imagine I was more of an instigator than she.... I mean.. it WAS ME, afterall, who blurted out that I knew what a stripper was when we were five, and proceeded to give her a show. and I'll take the blame for convincing her that my parents would never ever ever know if we sipped the bottle of banana liquor in the basement... (who would have known that very night my dad would offer some to company and be pissed that the bottle was already opened??) and frankly... dozens of other things.

The fact remains though... she was my sister by all senses of the word... except she lived in a different house.

Now as we got older, we each made different friends (despite only being 3 1/2 months different in age... she was in an older grade) and sort of drifted a little. There were still shenanigans to be had, though... clubs to go to... brothers to fight with... and she is still one of the only people in the world who know what REALLY happened to me on the hockey field in East Brunswick before a playoff game. Shit like that bonds people... let me tell you!

Now decades have gone by, and I'm sad to say that I don't talk to my Rachie Poo as often as we did as little girls. granted, I don't think I talk to my HUSBAND as much as she and I talked as little girls... but you get the idea.

We both have our own lives now... including husbands and daughters, and all the daily drama that comes with that. I think the last time I actually even TALKED to Rachel was at Rhena's Christening. but despite the time and distance... I still love her, and will never forget the important role she played in my life growing up. what's more... I don't need a stupid e-mail to remind me of this... just her birthday.


So happy Birthday, Rachie.... you're old!!!! hah! (at least for the next three and a half months... then you're back to being the perfect age.....) But seriously--- I love you. always have... always will.

as for you, dear readers..... you should know that if you don't recommend someone to this blog within the next 6 hours, you will have weeks and weeks of bad entries from me, horrible gas pains, financial disaster and an eternity with nothing but dry, boring blogs with bad fonts to read.





today's title brought to you by the Isley Brothers,

Stayin' Alive-- Week of 8-22

Well, you knew this was coming. it's been too long since the last match-up, so I knew I had to have one today.


oh, and before I carry on with this week's match-up... I have to give proper air-time to the winner of the High-School dance edition....

TIME WARP!!!!

In a very heated battle up until the very end, I didn't know if I wanted to swing my hips to the left or love you forever... but the last three voters cried to pull their knees in tight and do the time warp agaaaaaain. Yup. The Rocky Fans opted for NO MEATLOAF, and beat out Paradise by a vote of 13-10.

To honor this accomplishment, Time Warp has been added to the Cze-Johnson Fever Greatest Hits, High School Dance Edition. Meatloaf has not.

For my winners... I apologize... CDs are burned, but I couldn't make the labels and jackets this weekend. I ran out of ink (black, too, of all the colors!) from making Rhena's invites. fear not, though... a trip to best buy in on the radar for today, so prizes should be sent soon.


BUT ON TO THIS WEEK!!!!


This diet blows. have I mentioned that yet??? yeah. Granted, it wasn't *too* bad this weekend, cause I cheated on it. yesssss..... I once again drank too much with Troy on Friday (I'll be damned if wine is not the gateway to hang-over hell!!! one bottle of wine and next thing you know I NEED to drink 4 vanilla-latte martinis and 2 captain and vanilla diets???? WTF???)

so the NEXT day, when this little rabbit Froo-Froo was feeling like poo-poo.... sticking to the diet was not an option. regular coke was had. sweet, magical, soothe-my-stomach-regular-coke. Broccoli cheese soup was had. HEAVY, thick, coat-my-shriveled-up-and-dying-stomach-broccoli-cheese-soup. you get the idea. this was no day for yogurt and lettuce, damnit!

but once again, I digress.

I'm feeling fine again, so back to my straight and getting-narrower ways. So I thought... why not pair up two fitness gurus??? I mean, if being -slash-getting other people fit and lean is what made their name... I'm wondering how they would pair up against each other????

So this week I give you, for your dieting pleasure...

BILL PHILLIPS

vs

DR. ROBERT C. ATKINS

ok.... so if you DON'T know who these guys are, then you're probably so skinny you're one of those crack-head bitches who never diet... so that's all fine and good and I'm really happy for you, but in my head I'm saying you're a binge eater and have absolutely horrible breath in the morning. The other possibility is that you live under a rock. Granted, it's probably a NICE rock, being that you have internet connection and all....


but the point is... if you don't know who these guys are, I've provided one link for each to get you started. Read up on Bill over here, and Atkins over here.

So the rules are the usual... who would kick who's ass? Yes, I know Atkins is dead, but it's not like these two would REALLY go in a ring against each other either, so play along, will ya? SOOOOOO many factors can play into this one, gang... legions of followers, long-term results... popularity, physical shape of gurus themselves.... you name it.

Again. you be the judge.


DING DING..... let the voting begin!

Shame

SO yesterday-slash-last-night I FINALLY got caught up with my best friend.


It had been a good few weeks since I had last spoken with her, but somehow I kept forgetting to call or write or anything.


Seems to be a trend with me lately. I have been REALLY REALLY bad about getting in touch with people lately. I know one reason is because I'm just a selfish lazy slob....

But I guess another reason is because it's just been a busy freaking summer, and my energy levels are close to non-existent. but yet... they're not. so what the fuck, chuck?

I dunno.... why is this strong wave of apathy taking a choke hold on me? I mean, I haven't been neglecting Rhena... so THAT'S good....

and I've done the bunko thing, and been dieting, and making friends here in town, and visited a ton of people this summer... so I KNOW I've been busy, but yet feel strangely unaccomplished this summer.

I know I've been slacking in blog-land. my entries are sporadic and HARDLY entertaining... even to myself... and you KNOW I can crack myself up!!!

I've BARELY checked in on other people these days.... and again... it's not that I don't care about y'all... cause I DO... you blog-people have become such a great source of support and friendship! But I just haven't had the time energy or focus to sit and get caught up. I think because I missed so much during my trips that I feel so out of it, and trying to get caught up is SO overwhelming, so I've avoided it altogether??? vicious circle, cause the longer I don't read, the further out of the loop I am!


but other than me feeling like a big turd for being so lazy-slash-out-of-it-slash-do-I-really-have-a-pulse-or-have-I-been-faking-it..... things are swell.


So here's a question, if I still have any readers. My girlfriend and I were talking about this last night, and I know I could only answer her from my perspective... but her question was...

"what's up with Blogging? Why do people do it?"

SO I know for ME.... blogging started as a journaling of some sorts of all the weird shit that was going on with my pregnancy... a way to vent my fears, frustrations, and sometimes brag about whatever little accomplishments. Then it evolved to a "capture these thoughts cause I don't know what the hell I'm doing and someday I can probably look back and laugh about this" kind of thing....

then I started getting to know other bloggers, and it served as a great social network... which was key for when I was snowbound in reno, or away from my husband, or when we first got to NC, and I didn't know a damn soul.

But that's me, and I already told her that.

so what about YOU, dear reader???? DO you blog??? why???? tell me about it!




today's title brought to you by Evelyn "Champagne" King, 1977

Boogie Oogie Oogie

so YESTERDAY was fun..... NOT!


Poor Boogie was running a fever. Now, I know all the moms out there are going to be all "shut up, bitch"... but this was the first time Rhena had a fever.... EVER.


So I was a little distraught. I mean, I was fine under the pressure and all, but it was still a challenge dealing with a crying, clingy, floppy 11 month old all day.

today she seems better... no fever so far, so that's good. NO IDEA where it came from, so I just chalked it up to "one of those things that half the world will blame on teething".


Tuesday night I actually got a free pass from Troy and met up with ladies from my neighborhood to play BUNKO. I had heard of BUNKO before, but had NO idea what it was about or how to play. all I knew was that it involved dice, drinking and eating. As you can imagine, I couldn't sign up fast enough!!!


It was a fun night... only 2 1/2 hours, but it was great to meet new ladies from my neighborhood, and I enjoyed cheating on my diet a little. Scored some digits from a really cute fun girl, and managed to get on a mailing list for my development to be told about other goings ons. SWEET!


oh--- speaking of sweet.... Hawaiian-style bread with spinach dip is AWESOME!!!!! I've always had it in sourdough rounds, but my friend who was hosting the BUNKO thing served it in a Hawaiian loaf... WOW!!! I definitely need to have some more of that!!!! ....when the diet's over, of course....


Invitations are finally printed and mailed, so that monkey is off my back. ( HAH! get it??? MONKEY??? ahhh... the slaying continues!)


As for today.... Johnson-ville has officially become CONSTRUCTION-ville. We had our 120-day walkthough last month (or, so maybe it was more like 420, but who's counting?) anyways... today's the day that ALL (yes I said ALL) of the contractors come in and fix the stuff that didn't seem quite up to par and is covered under warranty.

I appreciate the fact that it's all one-day-get-er-in-and-get-er-all-done, but I'm feeling a little like a rest-stop here with so many people coming in and out! Rhena is also currently hating the flooring guys cause they have some sander-tool that basically sounds like everyone within the nearest MILE is going to get an appendage cut off. Oh, and did I mention that it's POURING out? so not only has our street become a literal PARKING LOT for a construction convention, but there's a small mud-river flowing down the street which means all the contractors have said mud on their shoes. *sigh*

So that's about all for me. it's currently so loud, I can't even hear rhena crying, so I'm going to sign off and maybe take the booger upstairs. Besides.. there's someone else at the door....


This is Carrie Villa, and you've been reading This New House....




today's title brought to you by A Taste Of Honey - 1978

I Feel Love - Donna Summer - 1977

ahhhhh yes.... I *do* feel love. thanks for all the comments while I was gone.... it's nice to be missed!


So it was very good to get away for a week or so. We spent the last week in the great mid-west.... in Crystal Lake, Illinois. On the agenda was lots of family time and boating and eating, but apparently they've been having the worst draught in decades or something along those lines. What this means is that the lake that my in-laws' boat was parked on was down over a foot of water, and they actually had to pull the boat out. I guess the water levels where you dock the boats were so low that boats were getting damaged and such.


so no boating for us.

but there was plenty of eating! so much, in fact, that both troy and I have started diets already! In some respect it's silly to go on a diet... depraving ourselves of what we what just so we can absolutely PIG OUT on Rhena's birthday.... but I was starting to FEEL unhealthy... and that ain't good. so back to three squares and healthy snacks and bottles and bottles of water. aside from my constant headache from the caffeine withdrawals and my random urges for chocolate and fried chicken... I'd say it's going pretty well.


wow. I have so much I want to write about, but am having trouble organizing it to actually be said without coming off as a crackhead.

screw it... I've never been known for my ability to focus, so try to follow where you can.


Rhena is doing great. she's eating food, which is always good. she went through about a month where food was the enemy, but she's been coming back strong and taking no prisoners. Her latest favorites are eggplant Parmesan, (thanks to her Uncle Scott and his girlfriend Lisa), lasagne-a-la-Grandma-Johnson-style, and yogurts and chicken and fruit and veggies and well... pretty much everything. She also has a tendency to absolutely HATE everything I just mentioned, so I always need to check what phase the moon is in before attempting to quell the beast. For example... this week, absolutely NO yogurt shall be eaten before 3pm. I mean... God Forbid it's even in her sight.... that kind of crying can hurt somebody!!!

and somehow only peas and alphabet pasta cooked in chicken broth will do the trick for breakfast this week. Seriously... don't even try to not give her that, cause her 17 pounds of sugar turns into 17 miles of fiery screaming Hell if she doesn't see her peas and q's.

but I digress.


she's on the verge of walking for real. she's taken some solo-flights from the table to the couch or from troy to me.... but really no more than 5 steps at a time. she's definitely getting more confident, but she's no dummy... when speed is a factor, she gets down and boogies (crawls) to where she needs to be.


She love love loves dogs. at first she was kinda a wimp around troy's grandmother's dog, and his parents' dog... but by the week's end, she picked up this high-pitched jabber that included a form of the word DOGGIE. I'm still convinced we're only hearing a part of what she was saying, and the rest was secret code to the dogs that only their ears could pick up.


I finished making the invites for rhena's party.... rather I should say... designing them. I still need to print them out and send them to everyone. here's what the cover will look like.... notice the jungle animal theme.

apparently there's a shortage of cute monkeys out on the web... and it took a lot longer to re-vamp all the individual clip arts to be the way I wanted them to be. but either way.... at least some day we can tell her that her mama and daddy made these for her.

I have like 100000 pictures to upload. what a chore. and on the subject of chores.. does anyone want to do my laundry? yeah... didn't think so.

Susie tagged me to do a thing about songs. something like the top ten that I'm digging. I really don't have a top ten list of songs as much as I do ARTISTS. I'm just an album girl. but... to follow through... I give you my digs:

1- Stevie Wonder - The Definitive Collection. EXCELLENT CD. love love love this CD. any mood I'm in, there's at least 5 songs on here to match.

2- Hitch Soundtrack. love this CD, too. lots of motown sounds to it, and of course, Heavy D. Now that *I* have found love, I'm going to dance to you every single freaking day, Heavy!!!! I love love love that song, and adore this soundtrack.

3- Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business. Ok, so I may think that the chick Fergie from the band is an absolute WHORE-bagger for taking Josh Duhamel off the market.... but this album is great. Rhena likes it too... so turn up the radio, and blast the stereo louuuuuud....

4- Roberta Flack - First Take. I think it's cause this is a sentimental time of year for me... our anniversary is coming up, Rhena's b-day... I dunno... maybe it's the hot hot hotness of the summer... but deep soul music sounds good in the summer, and I love Roberta Flack. By far, this woman is a legend, and the music on this CD has touched my life in so many ways I can't even begin to explain.

5- Miles Davis- Kind of Blue. my favorite in the afternoon when just chilling with Rhena and waiting for troy to get home. great dinner music, too. go, Miles, go. I could hear this album over and over til my ears bled and not be bothered one bit.

6- 20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection: The Best of Kool & The Gang. seriously.... if you can get you ass moving or at least a smile on your face when listening to this album, you need to check your pulse.

ok... there are more, but this was what was in my car's cd player, so that's what you've got. Right now the booger needs to be woken from her nap, laundry flipped, lunches eaten (I just checked the solar system... looks like we're a go for turkey, tomatoes and cheese with some grapes for dessert for Rhena.) invites to be printed, more laundry, chairs to be casted, and much much more.

perhaps tonight I'll post again with a match-up for the week. still percolating on this one, though.

OH... for my winners last week... the CDs are almost complete. I hope to send them out this week!

ok... have a fabulous monday, kids!

That's Where The Happy People Go

ok.... so Troy and I were just sitting here, and I thought he might actually be some help in picking out a title.... but par for the course... he's being a 'dirty bird' and not helping.

TMI?

too bad..... I noticed you're still reading, though...


anyways... I've been without the laptop for the past two days essentially.... Troy took the computer to work to synch it up to work shit, so blah blah blah.... or should I say boo hoo hoo.... I've not been able to check in on everyone.


so tomorrow we leave for a week-long visit with his family. our flight leaves BEFORE 7am....

did I mention that it's now almost 10pm and we're not packed yet? arrrg.


anyways.... we're off for a week of family and fun.


In the meantime.... anybody can still take the quiz, but it looks like in the 11th hour, Susie pulled out the major wha-hoozie and kicked some Fevah-Bootay! she scored a perfect 100.... and without using an anonymous login first! (sorry, Slacker... I needed to do one last dig!)


I was having a good time reading the results.... funny to read what y'all thought of me! :) A special kudos goes to Cheeky for getting ALL but ONE wrong.... by far deserving of some prize. Maybe I'll just send her the CD jacket? something snarky along those lines, I think.


So Yeah.. big props to Susie for bringing home the prize for the girls... Honorable mention goes to Fergie and Marie... they were the next highest ladies with the 80's....

so GO SUSIE!!!!! I'll mail out the CD when we get back!







As for the fellas.... Slacker indeed has posted the highest score..... but the fact that he logged in to the quiz twice leads this judge to wonder just a *teeny* bit. So to that effect... (by the way, we're not counting Troy, who also got a ninety... but damnit, he LIVES with me... he should have gotten a perfect score!)


My DAD only got a 70.... tsk tsk tsk, old man! But he gets an honorable mention.... I mean... he IS old... AND Polish... so I wasn't expecting much!


The highest non-family-only-took-it-once-scoring MALE contestant was John-Boy.... so since he's got a new girlfriend and just moved to a new place... I'm going to make him the face of the male winners this week. Slacker and my dad will also get the CD... but John-Boy deserves the week's crown.

so congrats, John!!! ....enjoy your time with Catherine!






ok--- it's now 9:56, and I'm still not packed.



Have a great week, gang..... behave yourselves, arright?



today's title brought to you by the Trammps, 1976

The Hustle

ok.... so I was thinking that it's going to be difficult to choose a 'king' and 'queen' of yesterday's match-up. (which, by the way, you have til wednesday to vote for the better song, so if you haven't... get to it!!!)


So I've decided that to win the CD of Fever's Greatest Hits, High School Dance Edition.... you guys need to put a little elbow grease in the pot.


So.... stealing shamelessly from like 100 other people who have done this already....

I give you A QUIZ.


(duh-dah-dum-dum!)

This is an open-blog quiz, so have at it and good luck. The guy and girl with the highest scores will win the CD. in case of a tie, I'll figure out later what I'm going to do, cause that's just the way I am.



anyways... my booger is awake from her nap, and wednesday ain't getting any further away. take the quiz, and don't forget to vote!


Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

today's title brought to you by Van McCoy, 1975

Stayin' Alive... week of August 1st

Cheese and Crackers... it's August already!


anyways... so I was laying in bed this morning, while I lazily got to enjoy the 30 seconds before I had to spring into action as MOM-o-MATIC....

and during this 'me-time', I was trying to think of who to pit up against each other this week.


Now a few of my bloggerrific pals out there take part in these SPDs and WBW's... (Self Portrait Days and Way Back Wednesdays) I know Christie with an E does it a lot... and I think she gets them from some Mama Duck lady. not quite sure, really, but the point is that the whole WBW thing had me thinking about life back in the day.


So I spent the first half of my 'me-time'.... yes... a whole 15 seconds, thank you very much!... I spent the first half thinking about CYO.


CYO was our Catholic Youth Organization that pretty much everyone belonged to when we were in high school. even if you didn't belong to it, cause you might have been Jewish or maybe nothing... (sorry... there just wasn't much religious variety in White Bread Sayreville growing up!) but regardless of whether or not you went to church, or whatever religion you practiced at home or DIDN'T practice... if you were a teenager... you went to the CYO Dances.


and invariably... in the late 80's.... there were a PLETHORA of campy-songs that everyone did a dance or sung along to. now for my younger readers... I'm not talking about how you "got down on your knees" when Madonna was Burning Up For YOUR Love.... we're going back a little further.


So this week, I'm asking y'all to Dippity-Do your hair, stick your fashion-color Goody comb in your back pocket, roll up your guess jeans and come to the dance with me. ok.... you all here???

Good... now before you sneak into the back corner where it's really dark and the Chaperones don't go near... that's right... before you go back there to drink the vodka you snuck in or God knows what else, cause you know I was one of the kids who wasn't back there!!!

Anyways... before you go off to your respective dance areas... I need to you to vote for the BEST high-school dance participation song.

Just to level the playing field, I am NOT going to put "Summer Lovin'" into the mix..... I have too many girl voters that would choose that song, anyways.


no.... this week... I'm looking for the raddest of the Rad.... I'm giving you

THE TIME WARP

vs

PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT

If you don't know these songs, you're young enough to google them and find out more about them. If you're my age + or - a few years... no explanation should be necessary. What's it gonna be, Gang...


Are we going to line up and pull our knees in tight a la Rocky Horror Style, or are the boys going to sing to the girls?


Which song kicks more ass, gang? You only have til wednesday to vote... as I'm leaving for another week come Thursday.

Also... as an added bonus... to show appreciation for the effort of voting, I'll be crowning a King and Queen of this week's match-up, and their merits will be displayed on the blog during my vacation.... I'll pick the guy and girl with the best... er... COMMENT(S)... as my bonus winners. Each winner will also receive a limited edition Cze-Johnson Fever Soundtrack, High School Dance Edition.... compiled by yours truly, and mailed when I return from Chicago.


So DING DING...... let the fight begin!

More, More, More -

ok... so I have another thought.


in case y'all haven't noticed... Cze-Johnson Fever has been burning for over a year now.


every now and then I like to look back and re-read what I was thinking a few months back. Turns out I actually wrote something today last year....


I just re-read it, and while I'm still about 90% on board with what I wrote.... I'll own up to being a little wrong. ...turns out I could have never expected to be filled with this much love.


Sure... I loved my unborn child, but now that she's outside, and she's my RHENA... the overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation and awe is indescribable.

and that was a little like a switch, cause all at once, with that first loud cry... my dreams became real.


don't get me wrong... shit is constantly changing here in Johnson-ville.....

but I will admit that loving Rhena.... my baby..... my daughter.... our living, breathing precious child... is way better that loving the monster within.





this title was brought to you by Andrea True Connection, 1976

Funky Town

So for a lack of a better title, I chose Funky Town cause my feet stink.

Sorry... it's been a slow weekend, and right now all I can think about is the smell of my feet, so there you have it.


So here it is.... I'm thinking that if you choose to wear a pair of shoes while working for the Make-Up Mafia during the summer you also happen to be pregnant, and during said summer, you are living in a desert of utmost BROWN proportions.... you should probably throw said shoes away.

immediately.



because try as I might... sprays, powders, those slip-in thingies, washing.... NONE of those methods have eliminated the funk of 1000 make-overs.


people... my feet are straight up rank right now.


But it pisses me off, see... cause these shoes were like $90 ON SALE (AND after my Macy's discount!!!), so I don't want to throw them away... and they are pretty cute.... but THEY STIIIIIIIIIINK!!!!


so I know I should just can them... but oh... it pains me to do that. But it also pains me to smell my feet right now, and you KNOW when you can smell yourself and you think you smell bad that other people are just puking in your wake. kinda like farts, you know??? like everybody's used to the smell of their own farts, but if you let one rip that even makes yourself gag... you KNOW the right thing to do is spray or light a match or warn somebody or SOMETHING.


I mean.... when my feet are their normal scent... I'm not worried. sure, they may smell a little like sour cake batter, but they're definitely not gag-worthy... so if somebody's near my feet... hey... they're FEET. what did you expect?


but today... I just can't get over how nasty they are. no wonder Rhena was looking a little pasty earlier.

oh well.... we have one more place to go today (meeting some friends for dinner) so I'm not going to wash the punks until we get home. when the shoes are on, the smell seems contained, so I think it'll be safe when we're out.

I'm going to try one last thing to save the shoes... a little arm and hammer. if that doesn't work, I think it's curses for the shoes.... unless someone needs a stink-bomb sent to someone they really really (REALLY) don't like.


Any suggestions on how to save the shoes will be appreciated..... though if you're going to say carpet fresh, I can tell you now that it doesn't work, and kinda burned my toes a little. but again... suggestions are appreciated. Otherwise, I will respect the general population that has working noses and ditch my old friends.


have a great sunday, gang....







today's title brought to you by Lipps Inc., 1979

Knock on Wood

well... we have arrived at another Friday. whooooo-yeah!


not that my friday is really a friday, (or was it every day was like friday???) anyways.... I just like knowing we're on the verge of a weekend.


not much going on in Johnson-ville.... we FINALLY got some rain last night.... but the stupid bitches of our tv networks just happen to SUCK at their emergency broadcast system.


so here we were... watching garbage cans and porta-potties fly down our street (no... we are not white-trash.... we just live in a construction zone while they finish all these houses around us...) and we're watching the news, and not one... NOT ONE network has any news flash of any kind warning about high winds or tornados or anything.

so while debating on which closet would be best for us to hide in should the roaring outside get a little louder... we put on the weather channel. So they at least say there's a severe thunderstorm warning in effect. no shit, sherlocks! so whatever... the storm finally passes, we eat dinner and settle in for some Wheel of Fortune. well... not 2 minutes into Wheel, and the first of about 15 emergency broadcasts come across, warning the po-dunk counties of North Carolina that they are about to be assaulted by heavy winds, lightning and rain.

what?? just cause we live in a HOUSE we shouldn't get warned??? not even a "hey Huntersville, we know half of your town is under construction to accommodate the growth of Charlotte, so heads up for some flying construction debris and maybe a random 2x4 or porta-potty????" yeah... good looking out... fuckers.


so anyways... other than our garbage bin getting blown into the street, and a lot of debris on our lawn, we only lost 3 screens, which troy brought inside, so all I have to do is bring them upstairs and put them back in. so knock on wood for no damages.


speaking of knock on wood... our floor guy is coming today to check out some creaky boards. I guess new houses aren't supposed to SOUND like old houses this soon.... we'll see what comes of that.


and for my dish of culture this week... Troy and I watched this movie called "Talk To Her" last night. odd movie... but it won an oscar, I think, and it had subtitles, so that definitely counts as culture in my book. notable moments from the movie include a pretty girl burping, same pretty girl talking about taking an elephant-sized shit, and a shrinking man that crawls into a woman's vagina. (this ought to pull in ALLL sorts from Google search now, huh???)

so if you're into those kinds of things.. the movie is worth a watch. Also features dancing, two women in comas, and bullfighting. I mean hey.... if you can't pull them in with men walking into vaginas... SURELY the bullfighting will draw the crowds???


on that note.... my audience of one is clamoring for some attention. apparently one of the 6 or 7 toy phones she has is for me!

happy friday!





today's title brought to you by Amii Stewart - 1978

I'll Always Love My Mama

So here's a little tid-bit you might not have known about me. I have a tattoo.



I've had one for a few years now, but I was keeping it a secret from my parents. My dad found out about 10 or 11 months after I got it. My parents had come out to Reno for a Christmas visit ( it was troy and my first Christmas as a married couple, as well as in our first house)

anyways.... I guess Daddy saw it when he and I went to the food store to get some gravy for the Turkey I was going to be preparing. I must have forgotten about it, and when I skooched way down to the back of the bottom of the shelf in the store, the ink peeked out from my pants.

I, of course, didn't know that he saw this until a few hours later when he and I were getting something from the beer fridge in the garage.


"Nice Ink," he says in the most monotone-slash-stern voice I'd ever heard. "Don't let your mother see it."


so after I wiped my ass, I regained composure and carried on with the Holiday festivities.

That was a year and a half ago.


During this visit, I fell back into step with wearing two t-shirts, sweat jackets tied around my waist, and making sure things were always 'tucked in' before reaching down to pick up the baby, some toy, or I dunno... SNEEZE?


and yes.... it HAS been 1000 degrees lately, thank you very much, and YES... I HAVE been sweating my face off from all the extra layers.


so anyways... on Tuesday morning, Rhena began her favorite game of "Uh-oh".... you know the one where she drops something and says "Uh-oh" over and over and over again??? and yes... the same game where she'll still say "uh-oh" even though nothing has been dropped in over 5 minutes and she has nothing in her hands TO drop cause mama's back is damn near broken??? .....yes. That's the game.


Anyways... so we're playing "Uh-Oh!", and I paused briefly to fix my pyjamas when suddenly out of nowhere my mom says,

"Oh, you don't have to fix your shirt... I know you have a tattoo."


Come again?

Turns out she never actually saw it, but the ole gypsy started noticing how I always grab my back or tuck in before I bend over. (I guess it would be hard to NOT notice, considering I do it about 549 times a day when she's around???)


Anyways... I suppose y'all are like... SO???? but you don't understand. my mom is one of THOSE moms. like the kind where you even THINK about doing something you know she's not going to approve of and suddenly you can't get Tootie from the Facts of Life out of your head saying "You're gonna be in Trooooooou-BLE!"


And I know, I know... what exactly would my mom do if she found out?? Ground me??? I mean... I *am* almost 33 years old... I'm married and have my own child now... c'mon! how bad could it be???


And I know all this... but yet.... the fact remains..... no matter how old I am, I'll Always Love My Mama... and I respect her more than anything. I really DO value her opinion, even though there are times I say "to hell with what she says!!".... it does not take away the basic and simple premise that I do not want to intentionally disrespect her.

Deep down, I guess I knew that as much as she wouldn't say too much about my ink-job... I know it'd be one of those things she just wouldn't quite feel the same about.... so I tried to keep it from her.


When she asked me how I thought about Rhena getting a tattoo... I was honest. .....At this point in her life... DEFINITELY NOT. ....But if she gets one some day... I just want her to wait until she's old enough to understand what permanent means. (and never mind all you that are gonna say how they can be removed.... that's a crock of shit for wishy-washy people.... and a cop-out. don't get me started!)


Anyways... I wish for Rhena to THINK before she does something, and to understand the word consequences. ....Whether it's a tattoo, marriage, sex, drugs, drinking, or whatever.... I want her to THINK before she chooses to go down a certain road. If she does so, and is willing to accept the consequences that come with that choice (and knowing some could be life-long...) then I support her.

So anyways... long story short.... I've been outed.... and I survived.

As for my mom.... I appreciate how cool she handled the situation (I guess respect goes both ways, huh?) and am now thrilled that I no longer have to wear shit tied around my waist in Charlotte summers. But ultimately, I think my mom is just happy I didn't end up in the circus as the Tattoo Lady like I wanted to when I was a kid.

Love you, mom!









Today's title brought to you by the Intruders, 1973