Monday, February 04, 2008

here come the troops!

ok.. so I kinda had a teeeeny bit of a breakdown last week.

I allowed myself a good cry or two on Friday (ok, it was more like 3 or 4) but still... who's counting.

the sheer act of crying and allowing a little pity party for myself was energizing and therapuetic. and then life was good again.

ok.. so maybe life got good again, because I actually got to see Troy and have a conversation with him. I have been BLESSED with good friends and a supportive family, and I really can't illuminate just how critical all of them are to my mental well-being in so many ways... but the biggest and most important outside influence on me is without a doubt Troy. When he and I are running seperate shifts or are away from each other for too long... I slowly start falling apart. Hard to admit that, being that I pride myself on how independant I am... but that man is so engrained in my mental and emotional infrastructure... I'd be a lying fool to ever say that I don't need him in my life.

so yeah. he came home on friday evening. before the kids' bedtimes. I finally exhaled.

then.. before I knew it.. things were good again. talked to my mom on saturday, and she said they decided they were going to come down for a visit. I KNOW my distressed state is what prompted the visit, and I tried to assure them that all was fine. but hey... where do you think I get my stubborness from? so they'll be here on wednesday. we're all pretty excited.

Sunday was the stuperbowl.. and we went to our neighbors' house. Chili was had, and it was so good. I gotta tell you.. those two have the LOCK DOWN on chili and cornbread. It was a very nice visit. rhena was beside herself to be at their house playing... *I* was beside myself to be out of the house and to be around other adults.. and even though danny did frizzle out about an hour into the game and we had to leave before halftime... it was very nice of them to have us over. again. good times.

tonight is CCD... and troy's planning on coming home to watch the kids. !!! I still know not to hold my breath until he actually calls and says he's on his way.. but I know that he'll try to make it happen.

and tomorrow!!! DATE NIGHT!!! My girlfriend is going to babysit for us, and Troy and I are going to start on our new year's resolution of hitting at least 6 of charlotte's top restaurants this year. A new place opened up here in town, and since wednesday starts lent, I'm gonna have my own personal Fat Tuesday.

ooh.. speaking of FAT... weighed in this morning. AGAIN only point-six pounds down. I totally know that I should have been down more, but in addition to the chili and cornbread and potato chips... I also had some espresso brownies and oreo cheesecake yesterday. and AGAIN I'm constipated.

I'm convinced it's my shitty binge-eating that wrecks my digestive tract on the weekends, and stops my ass up. I should switch my weigh-in day to like wednesday. I'm usually my lowest weight on wednesdays and thursdays. oh well. I still lost this week. annnnd... snicker snicker.. troy GAINED weight!!! so I win DOUBLE this week.

I couldn't think of anything creative as a prize this week, so stuck with the massage theme. BUT.... because I lost and troy gained.. he owes double. so now I get TWO half-hour massages. sweet.

so there you have it.

hope everyone had a good weekend.


Porq said...

Minus 2 for spelling!!!

SEPARATE not sepErate !!

Your mama's gonna get ya!!

Susie said...

AMEN! The man grounds me too. Rewires the circuits that are shorting out. Ooops someone else is shorting out now...gotta go.