Tuesday, February 26, 2008

doctor feelgood

ok, ok.. for all my bitching the past few days... troy FINALLY went to see a doctor. Turns out he had a severe upper respiratory infection, and was chronically dehydrated. They hooked him up to an IV, and a few bags later, he was doing a lot better.

in all seriousness.. I'm happy he's feeling better. I mean... even past my own sanity, I hate when anyone I love is out for the count like that. But like I said... he's coming back around again.

speaking of coming around... I'm starting to feel the payoffs from the investments I've been doing the past year. I think I've touched on it here, and even if not, most of you know me well enough to know that since Danny's birth, I've been going through a restructure of some sorts.

It's as simple as that, too. When Danny came along, I instantly had a new top priority on my plate, and adding a big ole moose to an already full plate made me realize that some shit had to go.

and it's been that way ever since. I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY re-evaluating my life, my actions, and the whole effort-out-reward-in scale. In particular and most recently, I've been using this Lenten period to understand that you really do reap what you sow. in short... if I want good stuff coming back to me in life, I gotta put good stuff out there.

and maybe it's the onset of spring, or troy's shroud of sickness lifting, or just getting into the groove of Lent...but I'm feeling good about the world of Cze lately. Had a great dinner with some good friends this weekend, I'm hearing about a new crop of babies in the making, I've made a lot of progress in prepping things for the consignment sale... I even have a few good books coming my way that I ordered from online.

cut the dead weight. That's what one of our priests was saying about Lent. it's a time to rid your life of the dead weight that keeps you from being happy. and not happy in a materialistic way.. just HAPPY. content. Blessed. a better you.

and whether that 'dead weight' is bad habits, excessive indulgences, emotional hang-ups or just associating with negative people.. (cause everyone has their own thing that holds them back from being a better someone) well.. I sure as hell know it's not my place to tell anyone else what they need to do, or even if it's something they SHOULD do... but I'm glad for this time of year to work on myself. I mean.. I'm not 'there' yet... and I'd be foolhardy to believe I will ever FULLY be 'there'. but the IDEA of 'being there' ... that happy, balanced mom, wife, friend, daughter, woman Carrie.... well, that's a good goal for me to have.

and I don't think that not eating meat, sweets or alcohol for 40 days will be the magic combination that will make me wake up on Easter and feel like a different Carrie. I WILL say, however, with temptations ALL around me, it IS a daily reminder to me during this process of Lent that no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I have the choice to stay the course or not. simple idea... BIG transference.


Susie said...

All I can say is that you sound GOOD. And I can feel a positive vibe about you through your writing. I hope it continues and that you always feel blessed with your own self, this Lenten season and always.

Wethyb said...

Great post & it totally makes sense.

Marianna said...

LOL you made me laugh on my comments... epherma. I actually had a feeling someone would ask me what it is, so I had already looked it up. I had a general idea of what it was & I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to look like a tard. Epherma is "stuff" more or less. Collections of stuff to create art.