Monday, March 26, 2007

cleaned up

ok... just wanted to post so that y'all don't think we're drowning in the vomitorium.

all is going well. well.. maybe not COMPLETELY well... over the course of last week, I found out that two sets of couples were getting a divorce due to reasons caused by infidelity, among other things.

now while that makes me so happy for the relationship I have with my husband... I can't lie... it makes me very sad for the friends involved.



fucking around.

bleh. bleh bleh BLEH!!!

Ordinarily, I'd like to fancy myself as a person who generally doesn't judge people. but the whole cheating thing??? yeah... can't say I'd be the most objective one to go to.

I KNOW that sometimes there are circumstances which cause the love to be absent from a relationship.

I BELIEVE that it's even possible for resentment to build along with other hurtful feelings such that a person would be less inclined to worry what their actions may impart on others, or to even lack respect for the other member of a marriage.....

but to cheat?

to sneak around such that one day you can announce to your SPOUSE that you've been sleeping around for the past 6 months? or SIX YEARS???

That you willingly had a child in hopes that it would make you love your spouse more???

ugggg. that's the kind of shit that makes me sad. very very sad.

anyways... that's what's been going on in the brain-bone of mine. I mean.... you hear about shit like that, and you just can't help but take a look in the mirror and see what's going on.

So on one hand... I'm so deeply disturbed and sad for my friends... but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm so happy that my husband and I have a relationship in which we both very much hold the promises we made to each other and before God right smack in the middle of our hearts. and minds. (cause let's face it... no matter what your heart feels... your brain makes the actual decision as to whether or not to do something... so having the brain on board is pretty important, too.)

bleh. having a child cause you think it'll make you love your husband more. I just... I just... seriously... I just can't.


anyways... here's to all the folks out there that keep their promises. Thank you. cause for each one of you there are... there are countless others who will learn from your example.


Kari said...

I have to agree. Cheating has to be the most immoral action in a marraige. It is the most hurtful and just wrong.
We've also dealt with 2 sets of friends starting divorse proceedings in the last 6 months. It really does make you appreciate the love and commitment you have in your own marraige. While you feel for your friends, you can help but take a judgemental look into your own marraige, and then feel a huge sense of pride and love in what you have.

susie said...

I was JUST thinking about this sort of topic yesterday. I was more thinking about the 50% divorce rate because the news had some segment about how women were keeping their own checking accounts and shit in case they split up. So I got to thinking about all the friends we have that got married within a year or two of us and thinking about the odds...and wondering who is in trouble. Cause us - we feel pretty good. And that's gotta be good since we aren't having sex til this baby is born and turns 2.

Christi said...

.That would be my brother in law and his wife, or should I say, soon to be ex wife. They got married b/c she was prego w/their first child, whom she didn't like, and they pawned off on my in-laws to raise. So, naturally, when their already bad marriage is getting worse, why not get prego w/another kid to try to fix it? Now my in-laws are raising two kids and having to keep her away from them. People are stupid.

Hänni said...

I loved someone with every fiber of my being who kept me--not because he loved me back--but because he knew he'd never do better.

He sought sex from a stranger he knew was inferior--she was an abusive, ugly alcoholic. He knew she was not "the one."

And now I know he's not "the one." I can't wait to display my gorgeous body to someone who will worship it and appreciate me for the treasure I truly am.