well--- we've been here about a week and a half, and things are starting to fall into place.
the count-down to disney is less than a month, and tickets have been purchased. (thank you, Jhonny!!!)
I'm starting to really like my new digs. This town is so freaking cute, I could pinch it! I mean, sure, it's still the south and all, but the appearance of this town is really adorable. It's got the majority of the amenities your normal civilized town has (restaurants, target, food stores, gas stations, etc) but it's GREEN here!!! Perhaps I've been jaded by the over-exposure of brown in nevada and abundance of grey in jersey when I was there, but I can't stop noticing how green it is here. Now if we could just shake this cold bullshit weather and get back to the 70's we had my first week here.....
but let's see---- what else have I noticed?
oh--- HERE'S some funny shit....
I took the monster to a pediatrician to see if that's who we're going to go with. The doctor was cute.... I kinda wanted to beat her up... skinny, pregnant, and wearing makeup. she was cute. repeat... I wanted to beat her up. but I digress....
in the office, one of the nurses showed us to a room. Talk about someone you don't want to meet for the first time while on a jack daniels bender.... She was Asian, but had the DEEPEST southern drawl. It took everything in me not to break out in a chorus of "one of these things is not like the other". But she was cute, too..... freaked me out a little, but she was cute. She would have gotten a pinch, and an invite for some pouruk frahhed rise so I could hear her accent more.... but I got distracted.
saw another thing in target that reminded me of my drinking days (insert wistful sigh here) and also reminded me that I still don't feel like a mom yet. SO I was in target, looking at these CUTE little cans of diet coke. I know, I know... I can't get off the word cute..... I'll be better by the next entry, I swear.
anyways... so here are these little half-cans of coke.... so jumping into my new role of friendly, hospitable southern gal... I make a comment to another woman in the isle about how adorable and perfect the cans were.
her reply - " Ah knowuh! what a great ah-deah"
me- "I'll have to pick them up for our next party... what perfect little mixers!" (thinking of my new kitchen and how my biggest pet peeve during parties is all the half-used soda cans cause all of my alcoholic friends only want a splash of something to tame their spirits)
her- "Ah was thinking mower for mah kids and theyur lunches, cause you knowuh they never finish a whole cayan!"
me- "oh, right! um, yeah! ok, buh-bye!"
dude. AM I EVER going to feel like a mom??????
I suppose it's inevitable.... maybe once the little booger starts talking? I dunno. But I DO enjoy having her around. she's fun.... well, except when she's screaming bloody murder cause the day ends in 'Y'.... but I'll definitely keep her. So she's sitting up now..... she can go for about 15 minutes now before she wobbles over... and each day seems to get longer and longer. (her sitting up time, that is... not the days. though I suppose there are some days that do feel longer... but again I digress) --- her favorite toys are my slippers and paper towels. but this is also a kid who enjoys pissing on herself every time she's naked.... so take what I say with a grain of salt.
oh well--- speaking of salt.... I'm craving some. Potato chips for breakfast isn't bad is it??? not far off from really over-done hashbrowns, right? ....Well, I suppose when you're in a land that it's perfectly acceptable to put grey chunky gravy over biscuits.... anything goes.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
I reckon I never did done see....
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4 comments:
Here's a quick Southern Survival Guide:
1) The Bible Thumpers are everywhere. Even in the more metropolitan areas. Watch your back.
2) If anyone offers you food by the names of Hog Head Cheese, Liver Puddin', Scrapple or Egg n' Brains, JUST SAY NO, thank you.
3) People will often hold doors open for you. It's okay they're just being friendly.
4) Small children and teens may refer to you as ma'am. Try not to be offended. They aren't calling you old, they just have 'good Southern manners'.
5) If you're invited to a pig pickin', don't worry. It just means you've been asked to come to a barbecue.
6) NASCAR is everywhere. Learn to ignore it (as I do) or enjoy it. There's no middle ground.
7) Be advised, some people will still refer to you as a Yankee. These tend to be the ones that can't except that we lost "The War".
8) If you don't like mayonnaise, God help you. We will put it on, or in anything.
9) Try grits at least once. Eating grits at Denny's, IHOP or the Waffle House doesn't count. If you're squeamish, then try cheese grits. Everything's better with cheese.
10) It's okay to buy fruit and vegetables from a little old man on the side of the road. They will probably be the best you've ever eaten.
And hey, if all else fails, just remember that at least you didn't move to Alabama. It's a state that even scares Southerners.
ummmm, cheese grits.
also, don't forget, being in the south you can ask for just about anything deep fried and they won't look at you funny. that in itself is reason enough to enjoy being there.
Carrie - You wouldn't have thought of putting Diet Coke in your Rhena's lunchbox because you are planning for her to keep all her teeth :)
Teeth aside, even diet sodas have drawbacks.
Mean dad that I am, mine only score junk liquid at lunch meal time. The rest of the time we do milk, water or occasional fruit juices (which aren't much better).
whaddya know! Here I am finally!
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