Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Popeye is a dirty scoundrel

Hello... Reno police?

yes, ma'am...

I'd like to report a break in.

what seems to be the trouble?

Well, someone has apparently snuck in my house and dropped a pound of spinach in my daughter's diaper. I'm thinking Popeye might have something to do with this....

Yes, dear readers.... Rhena has hit a new level with diaper surprises. ....just yesterday, I was scraping the funky cold corn chowder from her tiny little cheeks, and today I'm choking on a green spongy-leafy substance that could surely double for Popeye's fighting fuel. Hell, if I ate this crap, I'd be able to knock someone out, too!

I'm serious, though--- maybe he was hiding in the shadows of Rhena's gargantuan feet.... all I know is somebody with some close ties to spinach came and dropped a bomb on us.

And I'd like a formal apology from whoever writes all those books that say that breast-fed babies' poops don't stink. I'll admit, for the first 3 months, her poops had a rough-yogurt smell... but lately....

let's just say my little lady is getting more and more like her father every day.

in other words....

her ass STINKS.

like choking-gag-cough-is-that-a-tear-in-my-eye stink.

Nothing really has changed in MY diet, so I'm wondering what's causing this metabolic napalm in my little creature. perhaps another growth spurt??? I wouldn't doubt it....

the poor kid is only 3 months and like a week old... and already she's filling out the feet of her 3-6 month sleepers...... but enough about my little bean sprout.

I have to go find Popeye and tell him to knock it the hell off.

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