Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Dear Paula,

will you PLEASE sit down and just SHUT UP????


seriously--- you're totally ruining my American Idol experience! EVERY freaking time someone sings a song with more than 5 beats per minute, you're up there, prancing and dancing like a stupid cheerleader.


guess what?



YOU'RE ANNOYING!!!


You don't EVER give constructive criticism, and personally... your outfits leave a bad taste in my mouth.


I'm not saying I like Randy-I-call-everyone-a-freaking-dawg-Jackson..... his opinion is about as useless as a fart in a windstorm, too......

it's just this, Paula.... you are NOT 21 anymore. you're not in a sorority, and your Lakers cheering days are long gone.

Please--- for the love of God and all things holy----- just shut up, stay seated, and let these kids have the spotlight!!!!


Next time I want to hear from you, I promise I'll put on classic VH1 and request a full hour of the three songs you released.

Now--- "you just keep believing people like you, cause you're just doing your thing, and that's what people really like about you, and wow, like, I mean... wow... you just keep doing what you do!!!!!"


gag.


_______________

side note--- the matchup is still going on.... Don't forget to put your vote in on the War of the Roses!!!

also-- thanks to all for your kind words re: my shitty monday. ----you guys are great, and I mean that in the most NON-Paula Abdul way!!! XXOO

6 comments:

Nick said...

Never forget that Paula was dumb enough to marry Emilio Estevez... he's like Charlie Sheen, but his career tanked even earlier. She's not exactly known for things like sensibility, rationality, or... well... anything of value.

Marianna said...

lol... I'm sending CheekyMoo over here. She watches that show like a freak! I'm sure she has a few choice words to say about what's going on. She actually dared to say that the Greek boy looked like a molester. How dare her! lol...

M~

Elvis said...

Genetics. Truly amazing. It's like we're related or something.

I can swear that I was gagging at Paula's depiction of the absolute definition of INANE last night. There can be no doubt left in my mind anymore why Simon always looks like somebody died, it's because he has to work with two dolts that communicate in a language not yet finished. I hate the damn show and I try not to watch, but the Wife(TM) was enjoying(!) it so I wasn't about to make waves.

"Dawg! Yo yo yo! I feel it... "
"Yes! I was so... Like... You owned it! You are so... YES!"
...stunned silence...
"Will somebody please pick up my check and hire me another agent?"

Anonymous said...

I SOOOOOO agree with you!! I think Simon is the only one who hears these people sing!!! Paula loves everyone, and Constantine makes me want to kill someone. :) Randy gets on my nerves, but sometimes hits the right criticism....sometimes....

Susie said...

Oh lordy you are so RIGHT about the cheerleader thing. I can't stand when they go to the camera that shows the judges sillouettes in front of the singers. Paula's writhing around like she's at a revival. She can't offer any criticism because they are already 10x better than she ever was. Have you heard the latest? This is her last season because she wants to make a new album. Uh... yeah.

CheekyMoo said...

Constantine sets my perv. radar to full tilt. Sorry M, not cause he's greek. He looks like a sleezy night club singer and like he could be into kids, or animals, or Paula. Not sure which is worse.

I can't stand Paula. Did you know she's working on a new album? So she's sunk back into the depths of dieting. Eating disorder? Not sure if she's going that route again. But I read that Simon enjoys eating Dorito's in front of her a lot. So her behavior could be lack of food. Either way I'm sick of her mood swings. She's crying and angry one minute then up and shaking her arse the next. She needs to date.

She and Simon have that Who's the Boss Angela/Tony chemistry. A show that ran for years and the whole point was when are they going to just hop into bed and get it over with. That's the only reason I watch. Simon just needs to give her what she wants.