only 120 minutes

so today was Rhena's first day of preschool.

She was only there for 2 hours... part of some ease-in period they have for the little ones. And the full-length class is only three hours, so when added to the idea that she'll only be going twice a week... well... I suppose it doesn't sound like a big deal.

but it is.

At least to us it is.

My baby boogie-loo... my rhena-beana... my monkey, my monster.... did I say my BABY??? went to school today!!!!

SHE--- was thoroughly excited, and is already asking when she gets to go again. This is big stuff, considering that the only responses she's had around humans other than Troy, myself, Moosey and our folks is that of hiding, crying, or pretty much hiding AND crying.

So again.. for her to want to go to a place that requires her to be around people (and SPEAK to them, for that matter) is like an ass-hair short of a phenomenon.

ME---- well... I had my tears and fears about a month ago, and a teeeeeny little bit again for good measure last night. I told Troy that it was kinda like the night before a big exam. nothing I could do at that point would change how rhena would behave, react or perceive her school. Nothing could be done to change HER. she was either going to be ready or she wouldn't. I would have either done my job in raising a tolerable (dare I go for PLEASANT?) little girl who would respond well in a classroom situation. (two weeks shy of) Three years in the making.. all boiling down to 120 minutes.

ok, ok... so maybe everything wouldn't be riding on today's 120 minutes, and that's just my flare for drama and suspense coming through... but you know what I mean. It was still a pivotal point in MY mind.

So I let go of the worries last night, and was able to enjoy today. We took pictures. we sang songs while getting dressed. we took more pictures. we had a dance party, we packed her snack, and we went to school. and you know.... took a few more pictures.

we did not cry.

Not when the three kids in her class erupted into full-on terror fits when THEIR parents left. nope. no tears. Not when she said goodbye to danny and told him to be a good moo-moo for his mama. nope. no tears then, either. And definitely not when I got *MY* kiss goodbye. we both did good.

In fact, there was nothing but celebration and happiness today.

SO I guess that's why I find it strange that as I sit here, looking at the little girl below with the big ole happy face, full of excitement and anticipation of all that the day would bring... that the tears are slow and steady to run down my cheeks.

Maybe they're left over from last night, maybe it's the pride I feel in how well she did today... maybe it's just that little tiny tugging at my heart knowing that my baby is slowly but surely growing up. even if only 120 minutes at a time.