Filling Some Shoes

I'm not sure if it's the weather, the time of year, or the onslaught of menstrual hormones running rampant through my body.... but I'm feeling very reflective lately.

I've been thinking about Boogie.


and more importantly, the huge huge... and I mean BIG impact I have on her life.


now don't get me wrong... this isn't the first time I've thought about this... this was definitely a topic of discussion between Troy and me before we even went down the road to kids...

but lately... well... she's just become this little PERSON, so now more than ever, it's been super obvious of how important it is for me to be setting a good example. This little sponge watches EVERYTHING I do, and listens to everything I say. (why exactly, I'll never understand... I don't even listen to myself most times....) But the point is.... I am her primary example for just about EVERYTHING.


thankfully, I think I still have a *little* while before she figures out that I don't make my bed every day and should more than likely deep-clean the shower more often than I do..... but stuff like kind words, eating healthy, and showing others how much I love them, (and cutting back on the impatience and sarcasm) needs to be on the radar 24/7. And while I DO recognize that this is shit that should have been important to me all my life... and in many respects HAS been important to me, just not always outwardly obvious.... I can't say it's had as much personal meaning until lately.


Anyways... Boogie... if you ever read this (which BTW, you SHOULDN'T be reading this crap until you're much much older... Mommy uses waaaay too many curse words in here for you to be reading) again... if/when you should ever read this... just know that I'm watching. I'm watching you watch me, and I promise to make it worth your while.