Day Two - Overwhelmed

So yesterday was very emotional for me.

The sheer act of 'breaking the seal' so to speak was exhausting. I mean.. I spoke about the nerves-slash-discomfort of asking people for money... but the PRESSURE!!


I mean.. how do I find the right words to explain what my heart and soul feel? There's NO DOUBT in my mind that I would have SUCKED ASS if I didn't get married in church and I was forced to write my own vows to Troy. It probably would have read somewhere along the lines of :


"I take you Troy... cause I have to.. I mean I NEED to... cause you are like.. I mean WE ARE .... and so I just need to."


yeah. Me??? not so good with the words.


so yeah. the PRESSURE!!! How do I get my message across without looking like a total ass???


I mean.. for the most part.. fighting breast cancer is a cause that people either feel compelled to get involved with, or they don't. I mean, I don't think anyone would say they DON'T want to find a cure...

but again, I digress.

it's just so very overwhelming.

and now... the donations have started to come in. the donations are starting to come in!!!!!


My main idea is to get as many people as possible to donate just a LITTLE. being a family of four that survives on one income, I know how important the mighty dollar is.. and I know WE sure as hell can't afford to be throwing money at every good cause out there. BUT... I know we can skip our occasional pizza delivery just once and put that money towards something that is important to us.

but that's us, and that's completely besides the point.


I am COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED at the generosity of donations that have started to come in. I got two donations yesterday from people I don't even know!!! And even more from some wonderful people that I only know 'virtually'.

and again.. back to what I said about either supporting a cause or not. I KNOW that people donating has nothing to do with me... but how can I NOT feel overwhelmed with love and appreciation when I become aware of other people that exist in this world?


It's like someone holding a door for you. I KNOW that when someone holds a door for me, it's not because they eyed me up and said.. "ooh ooh ooh... that's Carrie.. I just NEED to hold the door for her!"


Holding a door for someone... as simple as it is.. is in someone's nature or it isn't. It shows a glimpse of their character, just a tiny reflection of kindness for others. And when that happens, I feel good. Sure, it's nice to NOT have to do the "stretch the leg, swing the ass, hold the door, push the stroller swing the ass again" dance.... but I take far greater joy knowing that there exists some decent people in the world that my children are growing up in. Or at least people in this world that are CAPABLE of being decent.

and while I'm not naive enough to think that holding a door or donating to a charity makes someone a good person.. it's the act of CHOOSING to do good that has me all choked up.


So today, I'm sitting back and enjoying the overwhelming feeling of appreciation I have towards all the choices to do good that so many people do every day.






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