Monday, June 28, 2004

Fuzzy Naval

So monday seems like a good day for thinking. Beginning of the week, a day off from the makeup mafia----

I can't stop thinking about my belly button.

it's gotten to be quite interesting as of late. I have this weird blueish ring around my slowly-disappearing inny. Add to all of this that I can even see the back wall of my belly button. I mean, c'mon---- who wants to see THAT????

I mean, I know it's all for the good of the baby--- baby needs room! baby gets bigger, *I* get bigger...... but my belly button--- it's .... well, it's MINE, and I want it back!

I mean, a belly button is the one thing that we all have, and it's about as unique as our finger prints. it reminds us that we too, are human, and someone else MADE us. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about playing up my God-complex and superior-than-thou attitude, but in the end--- we're all someone's kid. Which--- by emotional deduction on the pregnancy hormone chart, should have me weepy-eyed about the fact that I'm creating another belly button as we speak.

but it doesn't.

I still want my belly button back. I want my memories of half shirts in college, places to hide small objects as a kid, sand magnet at the beach, collecter of other fluids I shouldn't mention cause my family reads this---- I want it back. (and Mom/Dad-- chill out, I was referring to body shots at the bars!)

though there's an interesting side bar--- why is it better for my parents to think I'm an alcoholic floozy allowing strangers to drink from my belly button versus have any sexual images be conjured? that's another blog entry for sure.

Anyways--- my grandest fear in all of this is that I WON'T get my belly button back. it'll change. it won't all go back in. it'll stretch out and get saggy. not pretty thoughts, ya know?

so for now, I putter around the house thinking of objects I can use as a 'template', if you will, to help my belly button go back in after the baby is out. the finger works for spot treatments, but I'm thinking of something more leave-in, til the skin 'remembers' it should be back in there.

so far the best I have is a cap from a tube of chapstick. I'll keep you posted.

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