Crackers

so... I'm feeling a little braindead today.... so I'm going to host an open-mic day here at the Fever.

Well, not necassarily open-mic... just for once I'm gonna make some shit about YOU, my reader.. instead of yours truly and the mini-poop machine.


So thanks to Gina... I'm opening up the comments for y'all to find out what I think about you. here's the rules:

If you comment to this post:

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.

2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.

3. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.

4. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

5. If I do this for you, you must (please) post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.



I'm even gonna throw you a bone... you don't HAVE to post this on your blog if you don't want to. That's right. you get to hear what the fat lady thinks, and it'll only cost you a comment.

Will you dare?

Step right up!

Missing You

no... this is not a tribute to 80's one-hit wonder John Waite.... nor is this a tribute to Troy. I mean, c'mon people... he's only been gone a day and a half!


This *IS* however, an open-ended letter to pretty much all of my friends.

I miss you.


I'm sorry I haven't been in touch lately. MONTHS have gone by since I've written or called. I've missed birthdays, anniversaries and one-year milestones of surviving parenthood.


I'm angry at myself, especially when I resolved to make my friends feel appreciated this year. I highly doubt lack of communication ranks high on the list of what to expect when expecting appreciation.


I've been meaning to ask you how it feels to be pregnant again, but whoops... you've already given birth.


I've been meaning to tell you how often I think about you, but then I forget to say something.

How *IS* the new job/baby/medication/house/boyfriend/car????

and as unbelievable as this may sound... I really do care. cause deep down I really do miss you. I miss our talks, our laughs, the ways you inspire me, the way we can be bored together, or talk about everything and nothing.

I DO have so much to share, but I've been tired and lazy... so I'm sorry.

It's not because you don't have a blog... though if you DID, I would probably only comment a fraction of the times I had something to say. Again... I've been lazy. so I'm sorry. so sorry.


Because I miss you. I really do.






__________

side note... THANK you to all of you who continue to stop by and read about my life. Your hits and comments mean so much... and while they haven't made me be a better friend towards others... they remind me that it's time for me to pay my dues. so thank you.


XXOO

Party Time!

Whe-hooo... Troy's gone.... gonna have a parrrrrrrty!


Just kidding, though we *ARE* going to my neighbor's kid's first birthday party today. I guess that counts for something, right?



Anyho... Boogs and I are on our own for the next two weeks. I'm a little bummed, of course, cause I actually LIKE troy, so he will definitely be missed. I'm more sad thinking about how much HE's going to miss Rhena, though... She's entered into this little time warp of change lately. I mean... this kid wakes up from a nap, and she's doing some crazy new trick. She's still not saying very many words, but she's really begun to TRY to say words. For example.. when we say "CORN", she says "caaah".... still not quite there yet, but I feel we're on the verge of a verbal breakthrough.


I know some of you are all "don't worry, it'll happen"... but you have to understand... this is MY KID. if you have ANY clue about me, it's a given that I talk. A LOT. I mean A LOT, A LOT. so to have rhena be so content to imitate Pebbles Flintstone... it makes me wonder. Granted, I know in her way she's talking, but ask my mom and she'll tell you I was talking at an insanely early age. (go figure, right?) But all that doesn't matter. I think she's on the verge of saying real words... and more importantly, she's healthy and happy. life is good.


Yesterday was my class' first Holy Communion. I was so proud of them... they were so cute in their little dresses and suits!!! One of my boys had on this white suit. He's a little on the chubby side, so it was just adorable to see him all pimped out in white. TOTALLY looking like a little Don Corleone if there was ever one. But the kids did great. they remembered to bow and to do the sign of the cross, and well.. they done good. Tomorrow night is our last class together, and while I'm looking forward to the summer break, I will definitely miss the little shits. It was a GREAT experience to be with these kids this year, and my partner and I have decided to team up again and teach next year. so look forward to more Church Lady! hah!


speaking of Church lady... by request... here's the outfit I wore.

Annnd, since Rhena's napping and my tea is still hot (wild and crazy livin la vida bachelorette... I know) here's a pic of the Boog. We went to the park yesterday for more of that "family time", and I snapped a few of the fun. Gotta love slide static. classic.

and on a final note... Friday was more than a fiesta for two of my friends.... Two girls from my mom group had their babies... so congrats to Maria, who delivered Rachel... and congrats to Jessica... who brought Bella into the world! may health and happiness be with them through their lives!

XXOO

bah!

ok... I'm posting from my new digs here in troy's office, and I have to say, it's under much protest.


As previously mentioned... he leaves for Portland for 2 weeks this weekend. well luckyu me, not only do I get to go without my husband, but I'm also losing the laptop.

SIGH!


GROAN!


GRUMBLE!!!



Look... I'm gonna miss troy and everything, but typing from his office BLOWS. He's got this STUPID ergonomic keyboard which I HAAAAATE (confession... I type pretty fast, but I'm a hunt-and-pecker... hee hee hee pecker!) anyways... this ergo shit is slowing me down and cramping my style (AND FINGERS)!!!


none of my links are on this computer, nor are any of my usernames and passwords, so it's like starting all over. in ergonomic hell.


none of my pictures are on this computer, so no zoo pics until I get the laptop back tonight. I DO, however, finally have access to my dad's copies of the Easter pics, so here are a few of the boog. a few weeks late. however, it's about right on time for me.. what with the ergonomic delay and all.


Happy cinco de yo yos, kids. be careful with the tequila, and for God's sake.. take a cab home, ok?


here's some pics.... enjoy!

grand entrance... Easter morning

.

Perhaps the hat is a squeak too big

.

Getting shoes on...

.

Three Times a Lady (Mom was caught off guard.. sorry, Mom!)

.

And Finally... Cze-Johnson Fever in full effect... Me, Rhena, and Troy

Hoo-dee-hoo, let's go to The Zoo

No... I'm not trying to imitate Dr Suess or anything... just letting y'all know that tomorrow, the Johnsons are going to the zoo.


by choice.


I know, I know... me... live animals.... live animal SHIT everywhere... doesn't really add up. HOWEVER.... Troy's leaving in a few days, and I'm hell-bent on us doing something "FAMILY-ORIENTED". you know. together. as a FAMILY.


I'd much rather go to the aquarium, but the closest is in like Myrtle Beach, which is like 3 hours away. (all other NC aquariums are near the outer banks, which is 4-6 hrs away... I think.)


so today, we enjoyed some together time at home depot and Lowe's, where we looked at paint. and lighting fixtures. and weed wackers. and bricks. Good wholesome fun, I tell you!

Afterwards, we went for ice cream, which was very much needed by EVERYONE. Right now, Boogie's taking a nap, and I'm thinking about how I don't feel like cooking dinner. actually, I'm thinking Subway sounds just about right... it's got that perfect blend of lunch meat and blandness (with salt and mayo, of course) that I think hits the spot on a hot day like today.


so there you have it!

I bought an outfit (pants and shirt) at target yesterday... including shoes. They're PINK! but hooray! new shoes! (No... I'm not going to wear them to the zoo tomorrow.) I got them so I look 'purty' for my kids' first Communion this Saturday. That's right... my little shits in my CCD class are making their first Communion. I'm really excited for them... they're going to look adorable in their little dresses and suits! Makes me even more excited to think that NEXT year, my very own Godchild, Dara, will be making HER first Communion. seriously. it feels like just the other day I was dripping snot on her from being so choked up with love on her Baptism.


well... it sounds like the boogster is stirring, and subway is a'calling.


Have a great day everyone... I'll catch you when we return (hopefully unscathed) from the zoo! Viva la vida Family!

DOH!!!

ok... I'm a moron.


for some reason, I think I carried when I should have tallied, or whatever, but I screwed up my dates, and TODAY is also QUINN'S b-day!


I've known this SOB for probably too long, but he's a stand-up guy, and I wish him all the best on his birthday today.


Please extend your wishes to the birthday boy, Bill.


peace out!

The News

so I was watching the news last night. They were showing coverage from around the nation regarding yesterday's demonstrations and rallies regarding the immigration laws.

Ok... those people all wore white shirts... mexico boycotted american products (which I honestly still don't understand... cause you know.. everyone wants to move here, but apparently the USA sucks?) blahbitty blah... all different little snippits and clips and related features.


Now... I'm not going to go touting my opinions on the whole immigration thing, because I really am pretty middle-of-the-road with this. I definitely feel that our country was founded on being the land of opportunity and home of the free... but I certainly don't believe that shit SHOULD be free here. Yes. come to America. work your ass off. make a good living, make a new start for yourself... and to the people who are trying to do that... rock the fuck on. What I DO disagree with are people coming into this country (whether through our borders or through birth) and assuming that because they are here, their lives will be subsidized by the rest of the working public. And I disagree with employers hiring cheap labor because they can pay their hires under the table and avoid taxes thus cutting their bottom dollar, thus increasing their profits.

Anyways... if you want to be here, then cool. get a job and try to survive.... just like the rest of us have been doing for the past several hundred years. If you're an employer... stop trying to buck the system. Yes, we're happy that our dinners and lawns and clothing can be purchased for just slightly less dollars than down the street from corporation emporium... but let's face it.. the only ones really profiting here are those employers.... and when it comes time to draw social security, am I really going to remember saving $5 a month on landscaping?

anyways... it's a complex subject to say the least. However... back to my reason for posting... in the spirit of yesterday's demonstrations etc... our local news channel showed a segment on Sham Marriages. Their intent was to talk about marriages formed for the sake of obtaining money in reward for marrying someone so they may obtain a green card. Ok, I get it... topic is immigration shit, so they're running the piece on green card marriages.


Well the shit of it is that somewhere after about 5 minutes, they totally went astray, talking about how the federal government can investigate any marriage they believe to be fraudulent. Let me tell you kiddies.. this shit REALLY got me thinking. I mean... they're saying how if the feds have suspicion that the marriage was formed for reasons other than traditional, they can investigate. Now being a human of SOMEWHAT reasonable intelligence, I'm going to assume they were REFERRING to insurance scams, and green card workings, and I imagine a slew of other no-nos. However, they didn't say that, and they kept referring to non-love-based marriages throughout the rest of the segment.

So I ask my dear federal government and its fine investigators... how's the case coming with Tom and Katie?? I mean Kate??? Surely the attempt to sway hollywood ratings must be considered fraudulent? AT the VERY least... can you send some of your X-Files dudes in to check on shit???? God knows WHAT kind of intergalactic crap is going on in THAT house.


And speaking of FEDS.... SOMEBODY tell me that if sham marriages are illegal, then our dear fertile friends, the Federlines are due for a lock-up soon??? please? anybody? Shams? anyone??


Anyways... I'm convinced the news is just stupid sometimes. The way they try to sensationalize every damned little thing. You'd think they could have spent that 10 minute segment a little better by at least telling everyone that today is Greek Chickie's BIRTHDAY.

oh well.. they didn't, so I am. go wish her a happy birthday, and have yourself a sham-free day. after all.. the feds could be watching!

April showers bring May CHANGES?

ok... that's really a lame title, I know.. but it's quarter to nine on a monday night... whaddaya expect?


So I CAN'T believe MAY is here! dude! MAY! not that anything spectacular happens in may.. just crazy that we're already into the 5th month of the year.


SO troy's last day of work is tomorrow. He'll have wednesday through friday off... then Sunday he's off to Portland for a few weeks. definitely excited for him to start this new chapter in his professional life. and yeah.. all the benefits and him working downtown are cool, too. and yeah... I'm already thinking of all the new people we can invite to this year's Christmas Social! HAH!

This friday we're going to a cinco de mayo street party. That ought to be fun. I'm really liking our neighborhood (you know... minus the crazy drama we hear about here and there) so I'm looking forward to just hanging out with the neighbors, having a few drinks and getting my munch on.


We've also decided to start looking for some new furniture. Rhena has recently been able to get her leg-slash-foot up and over the top crib rail... and while she hasn't actually tried to get OUT of the crib, we're thinking it's time to start thinking about having her move into a big girl room.

Now if anyone knows anything about me, it's that when it comes to rhena, I'm all about slow and gradual changes. SO this week, we're going to go look at paint colors together. Mainly because Memorial day is coming up, and troy will be in Oregon, so we want to pick out colors together this week while he's actually in town. Oh.. I suppose I don't need to say it, but memorial day = sales galore, so we're thinking we can get some kickass deals on paint.... so we're going to see what we can find. Anyways.. the goal is to have rhena in a big girl room by the time she's two, so our long slow summer project will be getting said room together and decorated.

It's actually exciting. I mean, when I was pregnant with rhena.. we decorated our nursery in Reno, but it was just for a random baby.. my monster growing inside. We really had no idea of it would be a boy or a girl, so we picked gender nuetral everything. Now... having known our sweet baby for a year and a half... we're buying something that's ALL HER. So it's exciting!! I'm thinking blues and whites and pinks, with bugs and flowers . Not TOO girly.. but definitely with a delicate and gentle side. Just like Rhena. so again.. it's exciting.


I think we might paint our dining room, too, depending on how much paint costs. Again... just outward reflections of the changes we're feeling inside. Like.. I'm FEELING more settled into this home and community, so I want our house to reflect that commitment. with color. with decorative shit. well.. not shit... but including clocks, we probably have less than twenty things hanging on all of the walls in this entire house. and that includes the tool rack in the garage!

Now.. trust me.. this house is NOT going to become full of 'stuff'. Having moved approximately 6 times in the past 8 years... troy and I have learned to minimize things down, and i actually kind of like it like that... but definitely a little color couldn't hurt.


alright. this post is pretty lame, and I'm really just watching tv, so my thoughts are all over the place. perhaps tomorrow I'll actually go to the downstairs computer and post the pictures from Easter. you know.. cause it's may and everything.


peace out!

How about that?

huh! so apparently hockey's going on!


Three cheers for my Devils, who SWEPT the rangers in the first round of the finals.


but seriously... I'm so out of this season, I'm in left field. (get it? cause like left field is BASEBALL, and I'm talking about hockey??)

yeah.


oh well. busy day today. I'll check in later.

Cracks in Stepford

so I'm always joking about life here in Stepford. How all the mommies look perfectly coifed and children dressed to the nines, and people with their well-manicured lawns and verrrry expensive luxury SUVs.

It's a little intimating to someone like me, who happens to be... shall I say... REAL?


I don't wear makeup every day. shit.... I put it on MAYBE once every other week?


I can't remember the last time I wore an outfit that required ironing. Or at least actually IRONED the outfit I was wearing (cause you KNOW there have been times I SHOULD have ironed my pants before church but didn't...)


anyways.. the point is.. when it comes to appearances, the folks here in my little version of Stepford really have the knack for looking Polished. (that's PAH-lished, Daddy.. not POLE-ished)


However, the longer I'm here, and the more I'm getting to know my neighbors.. the more and more I'm seeing that some appearances only go so far as their front doors.


I'm not going to spill all the gory details, but let's just say that today brought our awareness of the cracks in Stepford appearances to a whole new level.


While I find it SOMEWHAT comforting to know that other people have real live problems... I'm saddened by how easily our 'friends' hide their issues. (big, huge, fucking SHOCKING shit kind of issues) ....Makes me wonder what else they're hiding, and would I REALLY want them watching Rhena?

call me crazy, but I just feel a little better knowing my friend (who told me not to worry about Rhena picking her nose, because she still picks hers too) is watching Rhena versus the friend with the pottery-barn-polo-designer-house. Cause while rhena might stumble upon some old green crunchies at the one friend's house... who knows what she might find in the other. And that's just me being real.

Fearing Kansas

ok... so last night was one of those dreams where it's a big ole mix of crazy, surreal, and very deep rooted fears.


Last night I dreamt I moved to Kansas.


Apparently, I was still in high school, and I was serving on either the President or some Congressman's Political team. SO our task was to go to this high school, and attend some ralley-slash-fashion show, and my job was to stand there looking smart with my clipboard. Some weird guy from a Polish Airline kept hitting on me.


After the fashion show, we went to some nightclub, where the rest of my team was making the rounds. I remember going around this main circle of a dancefloor, checking in with each of the team... and hearing arguments of which section of the club was the coolest to stand by. Stranger still was that the walls of each area of the dancefloor housed hundreds of GAMES... like a toy store. I dunno. weird.


so next thing I know, I'm eating some popcorn, and the clublights turn on, and a guy starts vacuuming. by now it's like WAY late-slash-early in the morning, and we still have to get home.


I end up getting driven home with 2 other girls, cause they're on my way. Our driver starts off sounding like Danny DeVito, but later turns into Jeff Bridges' clone. the weird thing is that at this point, I really hadn't been outside there in Kansas, and while I have an address of where I now live, I have not been to the house.


so the driver takes the other two girls home first, then he starts to drive me home. by now the sun is coming up, and I'm getting very upset that I have to be at school in a few hours, and we're driving out to the middle of nowhere, and I have no idea where exactly it is that I live. Driver dude tells me I'm in the next town up.


so we drive and we drive, and there is NOTHING but NOTHING to see. on each side of the road, all I see is fields for miles and miles. and miles. Then haystacks. Seeing the haystacks freaked the shit out of me, because apparently in my dream I'd never seen real hay before. In real life, of course I have.. but never in the quantities that were in my dreams. we actually went through a tunnel made from hay.

all the whole time, the driver keeps going faster and faster and we keep driving and driving, but still no sign of the next town up. I finally ask him through tears where exactly do I live, and he says about another 45 minutes away. At this point, we finally pass a house, but that's all it was.. just a house in the middle of nowhere.


Another 20 minutes of driving very fast, and going by these weird side-of-the-road exhibits that's supposed to be good for the morale of the citizens, and we troll up on some house. It's not mine, but Jeff Bridges dude had to make a pitstop. We go inside, and the set-up was just like my late Grandma Czernikowski's house, except this house was inhabited by a woman that used to frequent a bar I worked at in seattle. This woman, in my dream, was apparently waiting for a dose of some kind of drug that Jeff Bridges dude was giving her.

Next thing I know, everyone except me is high as a kite, and Jeff Bridges dude and I are finally taking me home on some motorcycle. AT this point, the details are very fuzzy; all I remember is that we were going like 120 mph, and I almost flew away. weird. I woke up a little while later... having never really making it to 'my house'.


What's the point of all of this? beats me... though it did really remind me how afraid I was when I did go to Kansas a few years ago on business for Amazon.


I clearly remember the anxiety of being on the road, alone.. not really sure where I was going, and having nothing but miles and miles of fields around me. With no cell phone reception. I was tense the entire drive, with a steady stream of cold sweat and heightened alertness that would make rabbits on crack look like molasses going uphill in the winter.


Visions of rapists and murderers out there in the fields, and the Children of the Corn characters and creepies and crawlies certainly did a number on me that trip, as would happen ANY time I'm out of civilization. I just don't do so good away from buildings, people. So whether it's on a road to nowhere, out in a forest, or in the deep blue ocean... you're not going to see me there... at least not happily.

I respect the beauty of Nature, and all that happens in its naturalness and shit... but I appreciate it a hell of a lot more from the comfort of my couch, while watching Discovery Channel. where I have food. and cell phone reception.

Public Service Announcement

ok... just letting you guys know I'll be changing the looks around here very shortly. I'm still ironing out a few kinks and colors... then I'll be all set.


so be on guard... things might get funky for a little while during the changeover.



Also... due to overwhelming pressure from my neighbor... and MUCH to my chagrin... I'm going to start taking a yoga class. or Bellydancing... we're on the fence. actually... *I* don't want to do either... she's the one on the fence as to which activity we'll be doing... but yeah... I'm going to be one of THOSE moms. gag.

oh well. it could be good. Lord knows it's better than sitting around on my ass eating bon bons all day like the rest of my SAHM friends! In fact.. any increase in exercise would logically mean I can now eat even MORE bon bons. SWEET!

speaking of.. what exactly IS a bon-bon?? those are the little ice cream nuggets, right?

oh well. Happy birthday Joder-Boder... have a great time in Vegas, you lucky bizzle, you!

Pretty Thief

we have a Pretty Thief here in the house. no... not PETTY thief.. I mean pRetty thief.


it would seem as though Rhena has taken to stealing things out of my vanity drawers.


both of my brushes? gone.


toothpaste? no clue.


also notably missing are tweezers, a few things of eyeshadow, and numerous hair clips.


I sort of think it's funny, but I'm also sorta annoyed. I REALLY have no idea where she's hidden everything, so I'm doing without my daily things. In fact... this morning, I was so desperate, and running late for playgroup, that I actually ended up using a bath scrub brush to smooth my hair down somewhat. It was one of those small little hand-held jobbers with the pumice stone on the other side... you know the kind. Yes, I know.. gross... but I only used it once on my feet, so I guess I justified that it wasn't THAT bad.

seriously. who DOES that? well.. now you know. I do.


oh well.


Praying for my friend Angela today. Other friends, too... but mainly for Ang.

busy

yeah yeah yeah... so no great post from me today... yet.


places to go, food to buy, all that other happy shit in between, too.


Cze-Bingo has all the winners... I'll do a proper congrats post to Ferg and Mary when I don't have to keep telling rhena to put the toothpaste away every 2 minutes. But yes.. that means prizes are forthcoming! hooray! prizes! (shit!! prizes!!! what to do, what to do?!?!?!?)


anyways... here's a recent pic of the Boog... taken this weekend before our farewell lunch with Grandma and Granpa (Gah-cah). For such a messy child, she sure does clean up alright!

peace out, kiddies. more in a bit. I promise!

stupid blogger

this is my THIRD attempt at posting today.


see if I can get anything to publish.....


stupid blogger.

Guess Who's Back

Well, I wouldn't exactly call myself a SLIM shady.... but I do alright.


either way... I'm back on blogger.


It would appear that all the visiting to the Johnson Manor is now complete for the month.... so I expect to get back into a routine again.

I'll post more later, because there's quite a bit to post about. There's Easter pics to share, there's new toys in the house that are starting a rebellion fight in the living room... there's visits to recap and reminisce about, and there's a certain NEW JOB that Troy will be starting at soon to review as well.

Right now, however, there's a shower that needs to be taken, air conditioning guys that have to be called, thank you notes to write, congratulation cards to be sent (new baby was born to my mom-friend group yesterday morning... Welcome to the world, Georgia!) and moments of silence while I think of yet another friend having surgery today (Good luck, Kelli... my thoughts and prayers are with you!).


I also have CCD tonight, so I ought to prepare for class... and then there's the undaunting task of laundry.. but there's ALWAYS laundry.

catch you soon! and oh yeah... happy birthday to my niece, Delaney!!! my little Laney-Bird turns FIVE today. five!!! boy does time fly!

Good Friday

hey gang...


sorry I've been MIA for a while.



As previously noted, I've been having Family Invasion 2006.



Troy's folks left on wednesday and were replaced by the presence of MY folks about 9 hours later.

SO far, the visits have been wonderful. Troy's folks had a great time, and even though we didn't take a lot of pictures, will be leaving with lots of good memories.


and once MY mom and dad were acclimated, my mom got down to business prepping all of the things we're going to FEAST on for Easter. Daddy did the usual and tried to stay out of the way, and went food shopping. Today we set up the assembly line and make the pierogis. I'll report in another day with the final total, but when the Czernikowskis get together to make pierogis, it's usually on the magnitude of 20+ DOZEN at a time. booyakasha!!!


As for things in Johnson-land... things are smooth. Rhena is Rhena... what can I say other than I love my little boogie??!?!?

Troy has been interviewing for another job, and pretty much is at the point that he's waiting for an offer letter. I'm really hoping that the offer will be a good one. I saw their benefit package and nearly shit myself. It's amazing how when you go for 2 years of paying your own medical insurance, just HOW appreciative you become when you think of company sponsored insurance that INCLUDES dental and vision, and has a zero dollar deductible for only $100 a month for our FAMILY.

but the other good stuff is that Troy would be in a REAL job.... around other people... in downtown charlotte. I'm thinking taking boogie on our museum days and meeting up with daddy for lunch kind of days... like real people do. I'm thinking about how he would no longer be working an average of 80-100 hours a week.... and that in itself can make my head spin with delight.

Anyways... we're being hopeful on that.


And today for me personally is a big day. I think of Good Friday, and it marks a culmination in all I have been reflecting on the past few weeks during this Lenten season. I think of what today represents... the day that a man named Jesus was crucified to a cross and died for the sake of others. And being the little CCD teacher that I am, today means so much more, but I'm not going to turn this into a religious lesson. I know everyone has their own beliefs, and others out there can surely find error in something I say... but my point is that today.. for me.... I remember that someone gave up His life for the sake of others, and that's pretty darn huge.

So today... every though my OWN path in life has not been a shining example of humanitarianism and morality.... today marks a time when I remember that *I* am not dead yet, and every day is a new day to try again.

And today, I think of you, my blog friends.... and I am thankful for your association. I think of all of my friends who love me despite my faults, and I appreciate them. I think of SO MANY of you who have very real problems and heartaches but manage to get up each day and make another go of things.


So despite what religion you may or may not practice, today..... I wish you ALL a peaceful weekend, and that each day brings about the faith in yourself that you CAN rise above whatever beats you down, and find a way to start anew.

Oh no he Di'int.... NO Brokeback Mntn Edition

ok... it's been too long since my last edition of ONHD....


but seriously..... Bucky the cowboy from American Idol did NOT just say

"Freddie Mercury is no guy I'd like to stand behind..."



can the irony get ANY MORE obvious??????

Glutton

ok... I've mentioned before how I tend to be the glutton for punishment.


well, I've went ahead and done it again.



Today, my friends and casual readers... today... I went to WalFart. During my FREE TIME.



Now free time don't come easy in these parts, you see.... when your husband works 100+ hours a week, the only thing I can really count on each week is that I can go volunteer-teach my CCD class, and once a month I get together with my lovelies... my Bunco girls.


But outside of those things.. Troy is pretty much working. Sure, sure... I'm sure I sound like a big ole hypocrite considering I just got back from a girl's weekend in DC... but even then, mountains had to be moved and funerals had to be missed in order to make THAT happen. so trust me when I say that free time don't just come easy in these parts.


Sometimes I almost miss working full time, because I remember being able to do things like read, go out to lunch, go for a drive with my stereo BLASTING, talk about who's sleeping with who and can you believe she wore THAT to work? you know... catty shit.

I mean, overall, this is definitely the life for me, no doubt. I can't even begin to list the blessings I've found as a stay at home mom... and let's face it... looking back on my professional positions? They sucked in a lot of ways, too. Right now I have REALLY good friends that can relate to me where I'm at cause they're floating in the same damned boat down the street from me.. and did I mention just how fucking cool Rhena is, and how much fun I have spending my time with her??

but nonetheless.... every now and then.... I get an itching to have some free time. no kid, no timeline, nobody but me. So today... with Troy's folks still in town... they gladly watched the Pooper while I went and ran some errands.

It was nice to be able to drive stop get out drive stop get out drive stop get out my way through town without having to add in the unbuckling, lifting down, walking slow, hold my hand.. no no no... ok, let's go now... no no no.... no touching, that's yucky!... ok, just another minute honey... ok.. here we go.. ok, up you go, buckle up and away we go stuff that comes with going anywhere with Rhena in between each stop.

but am I on drugs???? What would make me think that going to WALMART BY MYSELF would be a GOOD idea???


I mean... that hellhole is bad enough when you have a kid, but it's almost the built in excuse cause when you have a kid, it's like you HAVE to go to walmart. Like.. yeah.. I have a kid, she needs diapers, so groan.. here we are.

And when I have Rhena, I have to admit, it's nice to snicker with her about all the rednecks that are in there, and how much we hate the place. (Yes, I KNOW Rhena still really can't talk yet, much less say the word redneck... but live with her long enough, and you'll start to think her "oiyuh doy doo dah dah muh muh gah okay!" translates roughly to "Did you see what that woman was wearing, mommy? please don't ever dress like that in public, ok?")

Without my trusty co-pilot with me today, I was left to wonder silently to myself where these people actually come from, and is it POSSIBLE to chew anything with teeth like that?

I shuddered alone as I went by the in-store nail salon as I saw seat after seat filled with fat and or homely marmy looking women getting their piggy toes touched up with what could only be a parade of pastels and gaudy painted designs for Easter Sunday.

I cringed when I saw the too-young-to-really-be-a-mother mother and child in the photo studio as she used her dirty flip flops to push her crawling child back into the floor of the photo-studio. cause the dirty floor in there must have been better than the dirty floor just two inches away in the 'main store'.


I wiggled my way through fatties in the candy aisle. and listen... I'm not bagging on fat people, I'm really not. But if YOU'RE fat, and your KID is fat... do you REALLY think they NEED their easter basket stuffed with ANOTHER bag of chocolate??? And on what planet does it seem like a good idea to ASK said fat child if you've gotten them enough candy, or if they want more? Shit like this hurts my eyes, people... it really does.


but alas.. I did what I needed to do. I got the diapers, and goodies to make baskets for all the little kiddies that will be hopping through here on Sunday. and then I beelined my ass out of there... cause if I saw one more dude with a wad of chew in his mouth, I was gonna get ill.


SO now I'm home, and my free time continues in its normal house-arrest capacity as Rhena naps. But at least the in-laws stepped out for a little bit, and it's quiet here. no nascar, and no sportscenter on the TV as I write. And that... shit... right now that just about as good as free time NOT spent in Walmart.

And the wheels go round

Day three of Racing here in the Johnson house... yippie.


not.



Well, other than the constant spew of nascar and sportscenter coming from my TV, the visit with Troy's folks is going great. I mean... I'm CRAVING to just shut the damn TV off for a little while, or put on a cooking show.... but when you put things in perspective... some annoying noise coming from the living room is far better than not enjoying your company.


And like I said, the visit is going very well. Rhena is in full happy-mode because her Grandma brought her clothes, and because her Grandpa is, well... her Grandpa. She's still a little clingy to me and Troy, but has definitely warmed up and hasn't help back on the grandparent lovin's.


Today was nice, too... Troy's folks watched Rhena so he and I could go to church by ourselves. Now, I'm a little torn on this, because I feel that since Rhena has been baptized, she should attend church, REGARDLESS of what she's actually getting out of it at this point... but I have to admit that this week was the first week in quite a while that Troy and I were actually able to fully get something out of mass, cause we weren't shushing boogie, or feeding her some trifecta of snacks.

Today was a long one, too... Palm Sunday. the Gospel is always hella long on Palm Sunday, and church was beyond the normal packed. it was like packed on crack. Oh well.. what's done is done, and Troy and I had some good quality couple time, and his folks got one-on-one time with the Boog.


This afternoon, Troy and I are going to take Rhena over to our neighborhood spring-Easter festival for a little egg-hunt action. I think the race will just be starting at that point, so not sure if the grandfolks are going to go, too.... but you know *I'm* not staying home to watch more cars.


alrighty. time for me to go downstairs and get some face time in. I just layed rhena down, but I have to visit. and I'm sure there's a pre race to watch or something. gah.


peace out..

Almost There

you ever have one of those moments (days, weeks, MONTHS???) when you feel like you're just *almost* there... but not.


yeah.. this has been one of those weeks.... I feel like I'm ALMOST where I'm supposed to be, in just about every aspect of life, but I'm just... not.


oh well.


I e-mailed my girlfriend and told her I feel like I've been running around at about 60% these past few days. It could be this dumb ass cold (pollen reaction? who knows) I've had, the fact I haven't really been sleeping very well, or... something.


I feel that perhaps change is afoot, ladies and gents. you know how dogs get weirded out before a big storm? yeah. well, I guess this old dog is feeling a little weird.


Maybe I haven't bitched about Mariah Carey enough... so my universe is slowly shifting into some weird vortex of 'off'. It';s not for the lack of FUNNY pictures of mimi, either... Mary and Cheeky were so kind as to refer me to some oh-so-tempting-trash-talking-begging-to-happen pictures of your and my favorite pop diva.

but again... I'm just... eh.

off.


but for what it's worth.. everything is going fine and dandy and all that super great shit we pride ourselves on here in the land of Psuedo-Stepford. I even volunteered to donate some cakes to a cake walk. could you just puke???

yeah.


oh well. I'll report in again after the in-laws get here and I'm needing a pit-stop from all the nascar talk.

Winners, Losers, and some good drunk fun

hey gang....

so it would appear that Elvis actually rose from the grave to claim a cze-bingo. I'd say that maybe just maybe this might get him to blog again, but I doubt that. oh well. he still wins.

see it here for yourself.... BIG X... right there atcha.




As far as losers.... I'm talking to the American Idol voters who let Mandisa leave last night. I mean... I'm not talking TOO much, cause you know MY cheap ass didn't vote... but I was sad to see her go. She's a beautiful girl with a great voice. I wish her well. If I ever get into Gospel music, I'll totally buy one of her CDs. but actually, no... I would listen to her sing some other stuff, too. but not now. cause I'm too cheap to buy a CD.


now... I KNOW I caught your attention with the 'good drunk fun' part of the title.
y'all know I love me some Hänni-pants. She and those crazy kids at the Haus are having an American Idol Finale Party, and YOU (well, ME, but now YOU, cause I'm telling you about it!) get to vote for which drink Hänni will consume in mass quantities at the AI Finale Party!!! FUN!!!!


Each week the Drink with the lowest number of votes will be eliminated, until one drink is left, and no one is left standing. Genious, these people are, I swear! There's even a nifty little button you can get... though personally, I'm holding out for the t-shirt.

Anyways... this kinda gives me joy being that I'm still doing the lent thing. I sure as heck didn't give up getting OTHER people to drink for Lent!!! SO go vote.

ok.. the sidebar needs updating, but my laundry needs attention, too. clothes win out; look for sidebar changes later.

The best part of waking up

ok.... so I have to tell you... last night really SUCKED for me sleep-wise.


Rhena had a very off-day yesterday... between not enjoying her swim class (I know.. tell me about it... I actually checked her label to make sure she was really her) NOT NAPPING

AT ALL.


ALL. DAY.


to a very fitful night... she was just oh-eff-eff OFF. SO all night, she was randomly letting out whimpers and cries. errrg.

so I have the turets-like-crying going on over the monitor to my left, and damnit to hell, troy was snoring like a motherfucker last night to my right.

in between these musical interludes of WAHHHH! -kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss.... kkkkkkkkuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhh (you get the idea) I had the craziest dream.

First of all, I was in some brokeback mountain setting where I was an insurance salesman. but the insurance was only a sell when you reeled out the cord from your ear piece to the ipod and were able to pull it back in without the ear piece falling out. hmmm, and I got extra money if I could get them to fit into a size 12 pair of courderoys. I dunno... it was a war time, and Tony Soprano's wife was taking over.. or at least being more in charge of family affairs, so all I knew was I had to get them to put on the courderoys.


so yeah.. wake up again to hear rhena cry out, and troy cutting down logs. nudge troy, tell him to shhhh and stop snoring, and realize rhena's really ok, and is already back to sleep. dozed off in the middle of nudging troy trying to get him to stop snoring again.


Back in la la land... I'm in a parking garage, on my way out so I can order some manicotti, cause it was a long night at the club. Well, as I walk to my harley, I notice that the guy parked behind me is shoveling up a dead body into his car. He doesn't realize that the body is scooping is going to be used int he manicotti filling per Tony's orders, nor does he apparently know that I know what's up, cause next thing I know, I'm busting ass to get out of the garage before he can follow me.

SO this long chase ensues, and I end up back in my parent's garage, and I don't get the garage door shut before the guy comes barreling into the driveway. somehow I make it into the house, which has now apprently become a meat packing plant to support the italian sauce industry. But I guess the guy is mad and confused because the dead body should be mixed in with the sauce and not with the white creamy ricotta filling.

I guess at this point, he's either a different guy, or he's not trying to kill me anymore, cause I end up explaining to him that HIS dead body was mushy, so it had to go in the manicotti (I know it's the ricotta, but in my dream we were calling it the manicotti) and anyways, if it went into the meat sauce that would just be gross.


~~~~~~~

At this point, I wake up and it's about 5am, and rhena's really crying. I went and got her, sushed her down and brought her back into our bed. she slept that last hour with us, quietly, in my arms like a newborn.

It's amazing how one hour with your child can give you all the rest or energy you need for a whole day. In that last hour, I probably didn't sleep, but I was in a lullaby of her warmth and short breaths nonetheless.

and when I opened my eyes to see her so at peace.. so content, so innocent....

well.. THAT was the best part of waking up.

Another Weener!!!

ok, ok... It's time for me to get off my fingers and declare Susie a

BIG WINNER!!!

I have a feeling my stat tracker has gone up a few hits these past two days cause she keeps checking on when her glory will be announced... so without further delay...


throw ya hands up for Suser....

There it is, in all it's glory.. the INNER SANCTUM!!!


Congrats to Susie; and again to Marianna... who has been patiently waiting for the rest of you to call something so she can get her damn prize!

I feel so catholic right now I can hardly stand it.

You're so vain!!!

wow... talk about the power of the written word!!!


since yesterday morning, I have received THREE... count 'em... THREE e-mails inquiring if my little blurb about drama in yesterday's post was about them. The funniest shit is that none of the people who wrote to me had anything to do with my comment! WTF is THAT about???


The first e-mail made me laugh.... and I was all ready to write a response back putting their pretty head to rest, but I kept reading e-mails.. figuring I would do my responding later. The second one made me raise an eyebrow, and now, just after reading the third, I'm torn between shaking my head and laughing out loud.


I don't know if there was a full moon, or I tend to run with a guilty-feeling crowd, or maybe I just tend to be in and around a lot of drama... but this was an unprecedented, unsolicited response from an off-hand comment.

And because this is my blog and I'm allowed to say whatever the hell I want.... I'm going to leave yesterday at yesterday, but still take the opportunity to poke fun at the people who e-mailed me. I do also have to say that all of this makes me call to mind that famous saying "if the shoe fits..." but we won't go there. at least not today.

I mean... seriously!!!!! You'd think I'd at least get a little more sympathy about NASCAR or something??? guess not... so cue the Carly Simon!


oh well. there's more to blog about, like cze-bingo, and a new winner, but Troy wants the laptop. it's weird. he's actually home! so that's it for now... more on cze-bingo later.

Is this thing on???

so I'm convinced that cze-bingo is/was a flop.


I'll still keep the sidebar updated til the end of this month, but I have a feeling everyone just kinda gave up. Perhaps my fault; this took longer than I thought it would to get a winner, and then there was the week of practically no posting. oh well.

Marianna will get a prize for sure. Poor thing is going to need SOMETHING; she's eiher currently IN or coming up on her Greek Orthodox Lent. I know I used to get crazy with giving things up, but those Greeks don't fuck around. They make Gandhi look like a glutton!


and speeeeeeaking of glutton... do you ever find yourself going where you totally shouldn't? either cause it's mentally going to throw you for a loop, physically, or emotionally? I'm not going to get into my latest round of self-punishment, but I was *this* close to self-distructing the other day. Fortunately, I kept myself in check enough to only get emotionally bent, but it was a close call. I just hate when people say stupid shit, and I find it hard to sit back and let them continually get away with it. BUT... I had nothing to do with the original conversation, so I actually stayed out of the ensuing drama. I offered my thoughts to the pretty who vented to me, and that definitely got me fired up.... but I resisted the urge to get involved. go me.


but one thing I will NOT be able to not involve myself with this week will be my dear old foe, NASCAR. Troy's folks are coming for a visit, and if y'all remember from last year... that means NASCAR. every damn day.


Nascar in the morning.

Nascar in the evening.

Nascar in the house.

Nascar in the car.

On the clothes.

On the cooler.

On the beer can coolers. (shit... I can't ease the pain by drinking this time around!)

and most definitely.... on my TV.



*sigh* I know I should just suck it up and quit bitching, but I just don't like NASCAR.


ok. I imagine I'll vent a few more times regarding the cars-de-nas before the visit is over, but I know if I'm bitching here, then I'm being a good daughter-in-law in real life. And honestly... all the motor-bore aside... it'll be good to have them visit. My inlaws are good people, and plain and simple, I love when we have family visit. Whether it's my family, Troy's family, or good friends... I really enjoy having people here in our world.


So off you go.... enjoy your day! I personally have a date for breakfast with boogie-pants.

HBOM and RFH

yeah.. for all of those that don't know... that post title means:

Happy Birthday Old Man and Rhena's First Haircut


Today... my dear old dad is 61 years old. old. sorry, just wanted to say OLD one more time.


I can't quite say it's been a good sixty one years, as I can really only speak for about 33 of them... but nonetheless... I'm happy he's around. Happy Birthday, Jhonny!





and as some cruel form of April's fool joke on Boogie... we took her to get her haircut today. for the first time. ever.


I mean , I like Flock of Seagulls just as much as the next gal, but there's no need for Rhena to have continued to look like Mike Score, you know? catch her "before" pic below:

so being that she was definitely due for a trim... off we went to the Land of Scare.... we went to Snip-its. The colors seemed to be intriguing enough for Rhena.. but the LOUD MUSIC and OVER FRIENDLY staff even sent a chill up *my* spine. I liken it to the Cartoon Network taking about 25 hits of crack, and inviting everyone inside!!! for a PRIZE! yeah. a little freaky.

And like the little lamb she is... she trusted mommy and daddy as she was hoisted into the chair and wrapped in a green robe. I'd say that she didn't know the slaughter that was about to happen, but clearly my kid is no dope. This look is not of a child thinking everything is peachy keen.

Well, the sad-pouty-are-you-sure-this-is-legal-to-do-to-kids look didn't last long, and was soon replaced by all-out terror. And as much as it breaks my heart to see her cry, it DOES make me feel better knowing she falls in the normal range of kid behavior. Show us the teeth, baby girl... there you go!

eventually, the receptionist came by and started blowing bubbles for Rhena... and she actually stopped crying. The naive-thinking-the-world-revolves-around-my-child mom in me thought that was so sweet of her to do... but the realistic bitch from jersey knew she had to stop Rhena from screaming because she was probably scaring the shit out of the kids waiting to get snipped. In fact.. I'm surprised they don't have sound-proof hair booths for that reason. hmmm... I could be on to something.

Either way... Rhena stopped crying, but still was mindful to keep up the look that says "I still don't trust this evil place". That's good. that time in jersey taught her well. Always keep a bag of skepticism in your bag pocket. like I said.. that's my girl.

Of course... she got her certificate when the torture was over, and some weird 'prize' of some sorts. Apparently you get to put in a card and a toy comes out of some slot.. but her 'prize' was a tiny tube of yellow lipstick, and it came shooting out of the slot like a freaking MISSLE, and went across the entire waiting area. I picked it up, and quickly pondered if they were trying to insinuate Rhena was a chicken shit scaredy cat with that yellow-belly lipstick, but it doesn't matter, cause there's no way in hell I'm letting her play with lipstick till she's 40.

So we paid our fees, and Rhena got a certificate and baggy full of hair. I never realized just HOW red (strawberry blonde) her hair was until it was in the baggie against white paper, but yeah... she's got the kiss of pink.

Happy to be out of the God-Forsaken place... Rhena finally gave us a smile.

Now we're home, and she's passed out. I imagine she's dreaming of how she'll look with really really long hair, or other ways to avoid ever going back there again. Like I said... that's my girl!

Have a great weekend, everyone, and once again.. Happy B-Day, daddy!

A new look, and a video

well, it's no surprise I changed my look.


April is upon us, so it's time to shed the greens and make way for some fresh pastels. I may have a few kinks to work out yet; let me know if you notice anything kooky.

oh, and by popular request... and because Susie said I COULD post it....

here's that video of some crazy hotel action from DC. The video makes me laugh, but add in the fact that You-tube can never quite get the sound matched up to what you're seeing, and it makes it that much more interesting.


enjoy, and see y'all at the parade.

The History of Things

so as I said, I had a weekend with my girlfriends in DC.


originally, I was going to FLY in, just for the weekend, but Troy's boss can be a real wanker, and he ended up having to work like 100 hours that weekend, so I actually ended up driving to jersey with Rhena, leaving her with my folks, then driving down to DC (sans Rhena) then driving back up to jersey so I could drive back down to NC (yes.. WITH Rhena)


It was ultimately a LOT of work for everyone involved, including my parents, but it was very worth it. and when I say worth it, I mean even worth me driving around DC proper for an hour and a half looking for Fucking-shitbagged New Hampshire Avenue, so I could finally find the rat-bastard hotel. TOTALLY rolled off my back once I saw the girls. oh, AND the 10 pounds of moosemunch Susie brought... but that's just between you and me.


As for the girls... we have a bit of history, so I find it very appropriate that we met in our Nation's capitol... where history just freaking OOZES out of practically everything you look at.

and as for our history; it may not be decades or anything, but during our time as friends.... we have gone through pregnancies, infertility issues, childbirth, child rearing, too many martinis, dogs, happiness and heartache. Those are but paltry examples; for we have shared OUR LIVES with each other these past few years. and that's really all I can say about that. I trust these girls with my secrets, and they know when to kick me in the ass, and when to cry along with me. They accept me for the crass and non-intentionally-obliterating bitch I can be, and I don't need to filter when it comes to saying how I feel about anything. so yeah. we's got history.


And DC. It was an emotionally good time for me to see the sights as well as be with my friends. The last time I was in DC, I was in the ninth grade. Back then I remember being very humbled by all that I saw. the history of sacrifice, power and greatness. It inspired me as a young adult on the verge of my future in that I, too, could be capable of great things.

As an adult and as a parent, and even as a woman.. this weekend rekindled that humbling spirit in me. I weeped at the war memorials. I gave thanks to my God for the freedoms I have, and that my husband and father, who have each served in branches of our nation's military... fufilled their obligations without physical harm. As a woman and mother myself, I cried for all the women who lost boyfriends, husbands, sons and daughters. and once again, I was thankful for Troy and my father being unharmed.

But again, I was inspired by the great people, past and present, who dedicate their lives to making America what it is. and please... I KNOW we're not a perfect nation, and I KNOW there are equally as many corrupt politicians only eager in satisfying their personal agendas. SO spare me the comments where you bash anyone in particular. We're still a complex nation with many many freedoms, and given the number of citizens (legal or otherwise) with the number of opinions that we have.. I think the United States of America is doing ok.

And again... I don't want this to turn into a political debate of hate for certain politicians or laws. No system is perfect, and not every kid likes the rules. And seriously... if you think being an American sucks... try working for Amazon.com. THEN tell me about what sucks. So can it for now, or go hang out with Johnny Depp in France.


SO anyways... back to inspiring and happy shit. It was good.

And as for the girls again... we had fun. or at least I know I did. Conversation flowed easily, there were no uncomfortable moments, and there was plenty of good food.

Friday night had us walking around where we finally ended up in Luigi's. shit-yeah, dawg!!! I needed me some pasta, and my manicotti was on the spot. The place itself had a nice history, and having just come from Jersey where the italian food is the best fucking shit on earth.... I can say that they served up a good plate of food. The place was crowded, I envied Susie's wine, and we laughed. and we ate, and we laughed some more, then I ate even more. good times.


shortly afterwards, once back in the hotel, there was a little pj-party humping going on. I'm still waiting for Susie to say it's ok before I hotlink the video... but I know our friend Kelli in Texas would be jealous of the action Susie was providing.


Saturday we woke up WHEN WE WANTED TO.... cause there were NO CHILDREN! and NO DOGS!!!! And NO HUNGRY HUSBANDS!!!! so when we finally moseyed our way out the door, we hit up a place called Lindy's.

I still think our waitress was TOTALLY hitting on Susie, and I could have sworn she licked her lips a little when wiping up Ang's water spillage. But nonetheless.... we had a good old-fashioned grubbin' breakfast, and managed to NOT eat scrapple.

For our final meal together, we ate at Fran O'Brien's, in the Hilton Hotel. we all had steak, and damn... that steak was good. My baked potato was especially wonderful as well... but that's just cause I guilted our fun waiter, Mario into adding cheese and bacon to it. but you had to be there to understand. which unless you're Ang, Susie, or Mario.. you won't. so I'll stop. once again... no scrapple. good times.


Below are some random pics from the weekend... but I hit on the important stuff. it was a good-for-the-soul kind of weekend... where everything just kinda goes right, even when it isn't really.

So thanks to my good friends, and thanks to DC for the memories. we must do this again soon.

XXOO

________________________________________

Ang--- poor thing kept having to smile for me! she was a good sport about all the pics, though!

Susie... actually pausing from taking her OWN pictures...

See??? I was there, too! not bad for a self-portrait if I do say so myself!

Ang paying homage to the Late Julia Child at the Smithsonean

Susie being the domestic Goddess that she is... ironing her SEX-AY blouse before dinner.

finally--- the three of us. again... thanks for the memories! XXOO

Day of rest

so I'm finally back in the home digs here in Charlotte.


I LOVE seeing my folks, but I definitely can appreciate being back in my house, in my bed, around my stuff, and oh yeah.. my husband.


Rhena was an absolute DOLL for the trip. she fussed once or twice, but hey... I wasn't the queen of the buttercup parade, either. Going to bed around 11pm, waking up at midnight to pee, then REALLY waking up at 2:30am so you can get ready for the 10+ hour drive ahead of you tends to really take a hit on my pleasantness factor. who knew?


but the bottom line is that we got in safe and sound, and *I* caught up on some very needed sleep. after some very needed chinese food, that is.


I'm feeling very lost with all of my TV shows... me and the DVR are going to have a lot of catching up to do. I haven't watched American idol in two weeks... I know in my heart I'm not missing much, but it sure is fun to poke fun at the kids.


As for today, we're slowly getting unpacked and organized. Rhena's not feeling the morning nap I'm trying to impose on her, so I think my time on the laptop is limited. but that's ok. like I said, there's chores to be done, and food to be shopped for. all the fun shit everyone looks forward to when they come back from vacation. NOT!

the review of DC is coming, along with a few pictures. right now, though... it's time to get rhena and teach her to feed me moose munch. priorities, gang... priorities! the suitcases can wait!

Back, but not really

so... I'm back from my weekend with the girls.... but I'm only back in NJ... not home in NC.



The weekend was wonderful. I really had a good time with my friends. I *was* still sick, but I was feeling a bit better, and that combined with the warm company made for a great weekend.

pictures and a video will be forthcoming, but for now know that it was a good time, and Rhena was VERY well behaved for Grandma and Grandpa.

I'm convinced

I'm absolutely convinced that my body has something against me doing anything fun.


over the past week, I have gone from a slight cough to producing big loogies of green crap from my fog-horn coughs, a runny nose, and the inability to swallow. fucking A!!!!


Rhena and I got in ok... but I woke up at 2:30 am, so it made for a long day. only 11 hours (approx.) driving with stops for gas, but still... that's a long day.


I konked out by 8pm last night, and didn't even get to see chicken little get voted off American Idol. good. irritating little lisper. I'm sorry I missed it though.


I have to go to wal-fart today to get diapers and some teething shit for rhena... but I really feel like ass. I'm going to curl up in a ball now and hope that when I wake up again, that this impending-sick-death feeling will have passed.... and by the time I'm done driving another 4 hours tomorrow to DC that I will be past the torture-is-better stage I'm at right now. cause just ONE weekend away without rhena it would be nice to not be sick.

stupid body.

A long road

so most of you know that by this time tomorrow, I hope to be on my final leg of the NJ Turnpike, getting ready to be home. I plan on leaving between 3 - 4 am, so clearly, I have quite a long road ahead of me.


I just got off the phone with my 'twinkie' friend. We were talking and gossiping about a party she had last night, and sharing guffaws at some of the antics we witnessed from some of the other guests.


at one point in our conversation, her caller id blipped, and she said she was going to check it out, and that she would be right back.


an hour and a half later, she called me back. (I hung up after about 3 minutes)


Turns out the call was from her brother. Her brother whom had discommunicated himself from her family too many years ago (over 10, if I recall correctly). Her brother whom she , as of a month ago, honestly had no clue whether or not was even alive.


I am SO HAPPY for her. Tears easily washed through my eyes as I told her how happy I was for her, because I really and truly can not imagine my life with my brother (and all things associated to him for that matter) not in it.

When I think of my brother, I think of all the memories, and again, I'm flooded with emotion, because I just can not imagine my life without him being part of it.

In the past ten years, I was a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding, I gave the commencement address at graduation for Embry-Riddle, my niece Dara was born, I was Dara's Godmother at her Baptism, our Grandma Czernikowski died, I met Troy, Delaney was born, I got really stupid drunk in some bar in pennsylvania, I broke up with troy, I got back together with troy, Troy and I got engaged, Damian was born, we moved to nevada, Troy and I got married, I got pregnant, Derek got drunk in reno, Rhena was born, Derek and Dawn were Godparents at Rhena's baptism, we moved to NC, disneyland. There's been laughter, there's been arguments, there's been some name calling, and there have been hugs. and moments of sanity and clarity where I realize there's another person in the planet who GETS me cause we went through the same shit.

I can not imagine those memories not existing. I can't imagine NOT knowing my nieces and nephew. my sister in law. I weep at the thought of not having any of them. I cry even more at the thought of THEM not knowing Troy. The wonderful man I married. Who brings me joy every day (and makes me choke on his farts and irritates me with his childlike antics... but also makes me feel like the prettiest girl in the room... the man who holds my hand at all the times I need him to, and makes me a better person.) And the man who gave me Rhena. How can anyone know anything about me and not know my baby girl? I just can't imagine.


My cousin went through a period where she had no contact with her Brother, but then one day, somehow, they reconnected.

A lot happened during the absence, and I imagine it was difficult at first, but the point is that now they are together again as a family and have the present and future to build upon. I still can not fathom the flurry of emotions that occur in a situation like that; because surely loss, anger, resentment, sadness, and confusion were very real and present during the time of absence. Those emotions suddenly meeting up with shock, relief, happiness, love, and longing can really put things into a spin. But I guess eventually all settles down and you take a look at where things are and which way to proceed.


I know for my cousins, there was no other choice but to proceed together and not miss any more time with one another in each other's lives. I strongly believe that if I were ever out of contact with my brother, that I would leap at a chance for reconnection. Whether I speak of my memories with him of the past ten years or our FIRST ten years on this planet... it makes no difference. He is my brother, and he belongs in my life. For all intents and purposes, I can go so far to say he IS my life. He is family.


I wish that for my friend. I wish her family the chance to know and grow with one another. To not dwell on the period of absence as much as focusing on the fact that they have the now and what's ahead. I wish her and her family safe journeys on the long road ahead, but mainly happiness and comfort that once again they are on that road together.

***********

see you in a few days, gang. next post from me will be in jersey, then another after I get back from DC. safe journeys to you in the meantime!

Weighing In

So boogie had her 18-month check-up today. It still boggles me that she's a year and a half old already. I'm so doomed for when she gets to double digits.



but speaking of double digits... I have to admit I'm very proud of the pooper. She has maintained the ability to stay in the lower 10th percentile for weight!!! I do realize that that's pretty low, and that's NOT what I'm proud about... what I'm celebrating is that she's no longer in her downward trend, and has seemed to find a place on the chart (mind you ON the chart... another reason to be happy) and actually stay there for the past 2 checkups.


So fully clothed, the nurse said her weight was 21 pounds, 10 ounces. of course, today is actually a cold day, so I donned rhena in her heaviest sweater, jeans, and onesie I could... but nonetheless... she broke 21 pounds.

And it's funny... I obsess about weight like the number really matters. Well, maybe not funny funny, but just a trend I notice in myself.


I've always been a number freak. could explain the reason why I went into engineering, but I know it doesn't come close to explaining the obsessive behavior I get when it comes to dealing with my weight. Like three or five pounds really matter???

When I was pregnant with Rhena, my weight was all over the board. mainly in the downward trend, but then there was a week where I would gain six pounds, then loose 4 the next.

and the numbers are just plain bullshit, anyway.... what one person can do to 135 pounds can be another person's nightmare. And even if my weight in numbers is lower than when I got married, that doesn't mean shit fits the same. oh, no. the numbers. all smoke and mirrors.


and with certain numbers doesn't necessarily come happiness. The more weight I lose, the more I feel inclined to lose even more. and I KNOW there's others out there just like that. which is FINE to some extent. but when you constantly find yourself five pounds away from happiness, regardless of the weight you're at... it might be time to find a new thing to make you happy.


and the more I think about my OWN fucked up sense of self-image, I begin to wonder what little baby Rhena will grow up to be like. I mean... I know for DAMN sure Hollywood isn't exactly producing any great role models...so it's even more obvious the onus is on me. which I'm *totally* cool with... but after yay-so-many years of depreciating my own physical value.. is it too late for me to turn over a new leaf? Does acceptance of one's self always equate to slovenly appearances?


all in all, I'm comfortable with myself. sure there's things I could and SHOULD change, but I'm not about to go out and do the steps to facilitate those changes... so I should forego my right to bitch. But we all know I like to bitch about SOMETHING (ok... anything.. everything) and so I do.


Then you add in the social sphere of camaraderie of bitching about one's weight, and I'm unstoppable. I can go on for at LEAST an hour with comparisons of my ass to all sorts of Map Objects. (and yes... I'm feeling a little tired at the moment, so I WON'T carry on about the size of my ass, but you can all check it off your Cze-Bingo cards, cause I did indeed blog about my ass)

so anyways.. the whole social "I'm fat" brigade. I know I willingly participate in conversations where I insist my ass is akin to a double whopper with two time zones... but at the end of the day... it doesn't really bother me THAT much. but it's habit, and makes for fun conversation. it really does.


But alas... the older Rhena gets, then more I really think about the things I'm saying and the impact they have on her. If I go on and on about my ass being so HUUUUGE, and yet secretly am comfortable (and if not comfortable, then at the very least content to the point of no action necessary) with my bubbliciousness, then what message am I sending to Rhena? That it's ok to bitch and not take any measures to make changes? hmmm. not good.

maybe I'm sending the message that it's socially acceptable (maybe expected?) to depreciate oneself? hmmm. that's not so good either.

SO it all boils down to the fact that I'm realizing that these little things we spew out into the world are so much more than our children. The Sopranos used one of my favorite Spiderman lines last night in the coming attractions:

"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility"


no shit, brother. no shit. I hope I'm up to the part.

Hard to Digest

so I totally forgot to write about Rhena turning 18 months old yesterday. ASIDE from the fact that I'm amazed a year and a half has gone b y so quickly, I was thinking about how uncanny it is that Rhena will always have a half-birthday on St Patty's day. .....I sense trouble (or at least a number of hangovers) for her in the future if she's anything like her dear old folks.


So anyways, I was going to do a nice little tribute to her in today's post... kinda like how some bloggers write letters to their kids on certain milestones... but we all know I'm never going to let rhena read this crap I spew (too many curses) and frankly, today I got a MAD case of the shits, so I have no energy to be prolific.


I was fine earlier today.. just crampy in a I-ate-those-hotdogs-too-fast kind of way, but after a family walk around the neighborhood, I realized there was gonna be some thunder down under.


I'll put out a little warning for those who are faint of heart or could be experiencing pregnancy-induced-high-nausea at the time.. you may not want to read this. Hell, any normal person probably doesn't want to read about my adventures in toilet-ville... but I just have to vent.



I really think God has a jacked-up sense of humor when it comes to shitting. I mean... I get the fact that it gets gross and nasty and smells bad.... but the pissing out of the ass???? perhaps the cruelest gift yet.


I mean... everyone's been there. quarter-sized drops of sweat forming on weird places like YOUR WRISTS.... the heat flash that starts at the base of your spine and sloooooowly crawls up your back and over the back of you head like a hood on a sweatshirt. The holy-shit-was-that-a-taco-I-ate-or-a-bag-of-FORKS?? stabbing pains in the gut.


Side note... mainly to my father, but maybe also to my brother or mom.... is there a dumb joke that has a punchline of "come on ice cream!!" ??? because I assure you on Rhena's pretty little feet that every time I've got the runs, that saying pops in my head. any explanation to this would be appreciated!


so anyways... the shits suck. what I do hate, however, that the worse the shit is, the more pain you experience, but the less color the shit itself is. Anyone else have that??? that you actually shit CLEAR LIQUID??? I mean... damn it all... for the pain and smells I'm going through... I ought to get some rainbow concoction as a prize.


oh well. perhaps the fumes got the better of me today, cause reading back, this post doesn't make much sense. I'm just really tired of shitting tonight. and besides... I gave you a chance to stop reading, so if you're shaking your head as much as I am right now... you only have yourself to blame.

as for me... I'm off to dispell yet another level of evil from the southlands.

Luck of the (greek) Irish

well.. first off... happy St. Patty's Day, everyone!






In other news.. we finally have our first winner of Cze-Bingo!! Marianna of My Big Fat Greek Blog... aka Greekchickie... cashed in with her 5-in-a-row yesterday afternoon. Take a look:




Now fear not... there's still 4 more ways to win! Everyone's got a chance at the four remaining puzzles, cause no one has falsely claimed bingo on those patterns yet! Sorry, Marianna, but Cze-Bingo is officially over for you. Now that you're a winner, sit back and rest on your laurels. oh, and cheer on everyone else, cause no prizes will be sent until all the puzzles have been achieved!

on a last note.... I would like to extend her wishes to everyone for a happy and safe celebration of all things Irish today. if you have any shots, raise one up for the Old Man Murph.... and know that these Irish Eyes are Smilin' on you.

Good riddance

Is it me, or does anyone else find it EXTREMELY odd that Chicken Little is STILL on American Idol???


I mean... don't get me wrong.. I was happy to see Whore-bagger go already, but good lord, people.... THE KID HAS A LISP!!!!



Oh well... it's been a tiring past few days; and unfortunately because of that, I've lost my verve for shredding on pretty much every person affiliated with AI. maybe next week.


oh wait... next week I'll be driving to NJ. oh well. I'll find a way to bitch.... I always do!



anyways; American Idol has been my train wreck for the past five years. I can't help but watch the HORRID singers during auditions, then as the season progresses, I can't help but watch as Randy LITERALLY makes himself and others dumber the more he's on air. I can't help but watch Paula embarrass anyone and everyone who was ever a cheerleader in their lives, and SImon... well.. I don't mind him so much, but seriously.. the Eddie Munster hair needs some fixin'.


Ryan Seacrest is on the show, but I still can't figure out why. it's not like anyone ever LISTENS to him. I mean, if you're going to get into a pissing match with Simon every week, at least make it worth watching. I swear watching those two go back and forth is worse than two sorority girls fighting over lipgloss during spring break.


but I continue to watch. I continue to watch as people like Kelly Pickler and Bucky Cowboy make normal people wonder aloud if EVERYONE from North Carolina lives in a trailer and considers dining at Cracker Barrel a fancy supper.


it literally makes my head hurt. but... I continue to watch.


oh well. my own fault, I know, but hey.. I never claimed to have a lot of common sense.

Swimtastic!

so today had to have been one of the best half hours to be Rhena's mom.

I can NOT even begin to describe how FUCKING EXCITED she was to be at swim class today. the joyful shrieking began as soon as we stepped out of the locker room and she saw the water.


I mean... she was happy before then. but she always gets happy when she puts on new clothes. see?

but dude. if she could ever hone the power of Randy Jackson.. I ASSURE you she was FEELIN' IT, DAWG!!!! cause DUDE!!! IT WAS THE BOMB!!!!!!


From the beginning of class to the very last song, my little petunia kicked and splashed and laughed in delight. She clapped!!! cause look how fun my teacher is when she SINGS!!! and when I CLAP I SPLASH!!! hoooooooooo hoooooooooooo hoooooooo heh heh heh!!!!

sorry... I was putting myself in Rhena's head there for a minute.



but good times, seriously.


I still think the locker room is much like the discovery channel, but when my baby has THAT good of a time... hell. it's worth it.

Back to the Grind

well... I had a nice weekend.


I know some of you were wondering why no posts this weekend, but hey. I was busy.


Before I get into my daily rant about whatever... I want to call your attention to my SIDEBAR.


For those of you who are Cze-Bingo Impaired, I have added some info that will help you play along. I have begun to list the squares that all of you may check off... along with the link to the post in which the topic was mentioned. MIND you... you all still have plenty of opportunities to cross off squares. leaving the cool comment, commenting every day for a week (yes, that's SEVEN days in a row!) , having a link to me in your blogroll, or even campaigning to get 20 unique commenters to leave a comment on one post. (NO... this does not mean the post must exceed 20 comments... I'm looking for 20 different folks leaving a comment. on one post.)


AND SPEAKING OF CZE-BINGO IMPAIRED.....


oh how the sweet sweet justice comes around! Remember a few posts back when my dear old pop made mention of what a FRIGID BITCH I AM??? HAH! that dumb old Polack called Cze-Bingo on Friday for 5-in-a-row and DOESN'T HAVE IT!!!!

SO that means he is NO LONGER QUALIFIED to win the 5-in-a-row!!! I promised to lay much much shame and ridicule on those who falsely claim Cze-bingo... but I think the irony speaks for itself in this case.

Oh, and Gina is ALSO not allowed to win the 5-in-a-row puzzle, cause she biffed it earlier too.

So... as the sidebar states... all puzzles are STILL up for grabs!


And regarding the sidebar... if you feel I've made mention of something that would call for a square being crossed off, but I DO NOT have it listed... e-mail me, or leave a comment. Being that I'm the judge and everything, I can give you the official ruling.


ok.


now that THAT'S out of the way.....


On Friday I made MENTION of New Jersey, but I didn't really blog about it. I will do so today, however... because it turns out I'll be going there next week!


I'm pretty excited, because at first, it seemed as if my trip to DC was going to be doomed due to lack of babysitting. However... after a serious bout of cursing, near run-in with tears, and a very needed IM session... I've decided to scrap the plane ticket, and drive with Boogie up to Jersey. Thankfully, my folks will watch Rhena while I have a very nice child-free-adult-cultural-but-no-drinking-cause-I-gave-it-up-for-lent-weekend in our nation's Capital.


It's going to be a pain in the ass to drive, but there'll be plenty o' benefits to being home. First off is really the FOOD, but I have to say it's seeing my family. but seriously. I can't wait to EAT! I mean, you know... have dinner with my folks and my brother and his crew and other relatives.

Also, having the peace of mind that Rhena's with family helps me a great deal, too. and I just LOVE Jersey. I mean.. I love living here in our big ass house... but going home is good. resets the batteries if you will. cause you know.... every once in a while... even a bitch like me needs a mom and dad, too. and pizza. and music. and a damned dunkin donuts that carries the apple-crunch flavor. and more family.


so yeah. headin' up to the Garden State so I can go away to DC for a weekend. makes sense to me.


ok. that's all for now. I have CCD tonight, so I have to get my stuff ready for tonight. Also... Rhena starts up her swimming classes again tomorrow, so be on the lookout for an adorable baby with a new cabana set!

Sunny days and Disco ways

so you ever have one of those days that you just KNOW if someone was following /watching you, that the soundtrack would be really frigging AWESOME???


so today is TOTALLY one of those days for me. today is a DISCO DAY.


let's face it... coming from a girl who dedicated her blog for at least three months to a disco theme and purely song titles... it should be no surprise on how I dig those groovy beats from the 70's.


I mean, I'm sure some of you are thinking that my taste in music may be questionable, but you don't hear me bagging on your weird niche for country or 80's music.. or at least not today, anyway....

but seriously. it's not like I grew up in studio 54, or had a roller-momma and leisure-suit daddy growing up. On the contrary.. my folks exposed us to all sorts of music growing up.. from classical to the classics. and I appreciate it all... but I love me some disco!



and I can't quite explain my 'fervor' for the fever of Disco... it's just there.

maybe before 1972, my soul resided in a blue-satin, feathered-hair-havin' dancing queen. maybe just maybe I frequented the clubs as a hot-to-trot little thing in my twenties but died of a drug overdose in late 1971. so full-well knowing the music I loved and died with was only just beginning, I re-incarnated myself into a little girl destined to be born in the suburbs of Jersey in December of '72. maybe.


but maybe not.


maybe I just have a thing for disco. well, not MAYBE. I definitely do. no doubt about it.

and when people ask me WHY I have such a ZEN for disco... I really don't have an explanation. it's just there. like some people REALLY like chocolate. and other people REALLY like breathing. Me? I like disco.


My biggest theory (other than the drug-overdose-die-before-my-true-prime-reincarnation-theory) is that as a child of the 70's, I just associate the disco music with happy and carefree times of yesteryear. As a teenager-now-adult, disco tapped into some mental security blanket that made me feel safe and happy, much like the way I felt throughout my entire childhood. safe and happy.


and I *kinda* give myself psychological props, cause on paper (or monitor) that SOUNDS understandable.... how can the one thing that triggers someone inward to a safe and calm be the one thing that invigorates and liberates me the most?

It doesn't make sense. honestly, for as long as I can remember, I have always found my escape in music. Whether I was 12 years old making up new dance moves for the latest duran duran video (because I was positive that Simon LeBon would notice my stellar routine and want to marry me...) or 18 going to the 18-to-party-21-to-drink nightclubs with my cousin Rachel to catch the latest 'freestyle' artist that was performing that week, or throughout my 20's and even now.... the music set me free.

In the clubs.. I was no longer anyone's daughter or sister or student. I was a wisp of paper flowing to whatever direction the windy beats would take me. I was an enigma. I no longer had to have the right answers or say the right words, because I was caught up in the music. Each layer and riff and beat would enter my ears and take over my body until the lights would come on.


As a mom now living in make-shift Stepford, sometimes it's hard to connect with those feelings I had in my 20's. when I was in college, I took a creative writing class, and I actually captured my thoughts about music. I wrote it in Spring of '94, but still have the assignment. here's what it said:

People are watching me. I know it. I'm not always aware of them, but I know it. Some are blatant about it, crowding around me, pointing with their ooh's and ahh's. Others are discreet. They pretend to occupy themselves with something while they sneak glances at the spectacle. That's ok, though. I'm not here for them, I'm here for me. ...it's like a drug, really, this music; these tribal, electronic sounds I experience. They call to me; they get inside. Before long, my heart pumps to a 16-count, and my legs begin to kick. I can't control my actions.... I'm moving my arms now. I can't tell anymore whether I'm hearing the music, or if it's coming from me. I feel alive, as laser-bright colors stream through me like electricity. maybe I'm dead... I think I'm floating. My hips won't stop shaking. It's got control of me now. This feeling wants to get out, to explode; but my body provides limitations, so I sweat. I open my mouth and my spirit screams free. This is Euphoria. This is Saturday night, and I'm dancing.

Let them watch.

Again... as a mom now, I don't get much time to get out there and shake it, but any time I hear a good disco song... it burrows in and gets things moving... even if only just a flutter some days. it reminds me of who I am... even when I'm buried deep down under layers and layers of real life.


so yeah. I love me some disco music. plain and simple.


Now turn up the music and Dance!! dance, dance, dance!!!!!