I did it!!!

no... not give birth or anything really newsworthy like that....


I sent out an e-mail yesterday postponing the Christmas Social.


It killed me to do it, but ultimately, I know it was the right thing to do. For the sake of the baby's health, allowing myself to recover just a little, and my overall sanity (which we already know is on shaky ground) I spoke with Troy and we agreed to postpone the Social.


I feel better about things now. A little selfish, maybe, but also thinking that I'll be thanking myself on the 2nd when at 8pm I'm having a hormonal and sleep-deprived all-out breakdown that I don't have to stick my fat belly into something presentable and serve drinks to my neighbors. time will tell.... but I have a hunch I really will be happy to have a quiet house that night.


Speaking of quiet.... the house is right now, so I'm actually going to lay down and take a nap. Even if it doesn't make my hips feel better, it'll be something fun to do other than pee every 20 minutes.


hope y'all are having a great weekend.

The good, the bad, and the baby

well gang..... I had another appointment today, and still no sign of the One Within coming out soon.


this is both good and bad.... but probably not for why you would think. or for what you may think I think. I think.

ANYWAYS....


the good news is that all is fine. the baby continues to be very active. This may or may not be directly related to the amount of chocolate I gorge myself on regularly, but it sure is a mover. and a kicker.. but we won't get into that now.

more good news is that despite being overdue, the docs are in no hurry to speed things up. I know... for all the bitching I've done thus far, you'd think I'd want to hurry up and have this kid already... but to be perfectly honest... I'm totally ok with the way things are right now. I STILL haven't had a full-on puke session since that last Sunday, so I think this actually ties or beats or is pretty damn close to my longest streak of no puking since approximately week EIGHT of my pregnancy. YES... I'm waking up at night choking on the vomit that has creeped up my esophagus, YES.... my hips are aching as if someone ripped my legs off and shoved them back into my pelvis backwards, and YES.... I'm peeing every 15-45 minutes because this kid keeps thwacking at my bladder... but I HAVEN'T BEEN PUKING!!!!!! and BECAUSE I haven't been puking, I've been laying off the heavy-duty-anti-puke medication (zofran), which ALSO means I have been able to SHIT every day!!!!

people.... minus the hips, the night-chokes, and peeing... I feel fucking AWESOME!!!!


but aside from that, I'm especially happy that my doctors are not trying to intervene, because I really really want this baby to come out when it's ready. For as anal as I can tend to be... I really was against scheduling a c-section and essentially 'picking' my child's birthday, based on schedules and convenience. And so I'm getting my wish.

I signed up for a VBAC, and I'm being given the chance to let my body go into labor on its own. sweet. Of course the flip side of this is that the day is coming that I may have to push a child out of my tidget, and that in itself scares the living daylights out of me. BUT... this baby will come when it's supposed to.... and to me, that's pretty magical.

so we all understand.. I'm happy things are just in the flow right now. I'm actually enjoying my mom being here. Sure, we get snippy with each other, and both of us will be the first to say the other is a pain in the ass at times.... but it's really nice having her here. Seeing her interact with Rhena is something I USUALLY only get to see a handful of times a year. So to see the way they play, to see the way Rhena adores my mom, and moreso the CONSTANT outpouring of love from my mom to Rhena... and to see it every day??? well, frankly.... I feel Blessed.


But like anything, all goodness can't come without a price. The longer this baby stays inside, the longer my mom remains away from my dad. and while each of THEM will be the first to say that the other is a pain in the ass, they truly are a good team. They both manage to drive each other crazy and keep the other in line, and while they're each awesome individuals, they are really at their pinnacle when together. I guess that's what 39 years together does to a team. yeah... 39 years. crazy, right? tomorrow is their anniversary. I feel bad they won't be together to celebrate.... but worse because it's because of me.

and another thing that's been weighing heavy on me is our annual Christmas Social. This year will be the 8th year in a row in which this party has been held. It's been slated to be held this year on December 2nd, and I'm afraid that the longer this baby stays inside, the less feasible it is for us to have this party.

This social is MY SHIT, people. I DO NOT want to cancel, I really don't. but even if this baby is born like RIGHT NOW AS I'M TYPING... it will still be less than a month old by the time we have a houseful of drunk strangers milling in and out of our house. Stubborn, obstinate me is saying fuck it.. have the party anyway... besides, we've already told everyone about it, we can't just cancel now....

But the "feeling-very-fortunate-to-have-even-gotten-pregnant-and-carry-a-baby-to-term-AND-be-allowed-to-have-said-miracle-come-on-its-own-terms-and-by-the-way-did-we-mention-that-we're-done-having-children-after-this-one-so-is-it-really-smart-to-jeopardize-the-health-and-well-being-OF-AN-INFANT-a-beautiful-innocent-defenseless-INFANT-for-the-sake-of-some-friends-and-neighbors-having-a-good-time??" side of me is thinking we should postpone the social til like January or something. Especially thinking that this baby may not even show up until the 22nd!!! Somehow having a big neighborhood brewhahhah doesn't sound like a smart idea when your baby is 10 days old.


bah humbug.


oh well. I guess in the end, I'm getting what I wanted.... and a little more to boot. Perhaps this child's first lesson to me is that having Christmas Spirit leans a little more on the side of forgiveness, understanding and patience, and a little less towards staunch ability to keep commitments. I hope our friends can see it that way, anyway. Either way, I'm sure that however this year's social shakes down, it'll help us figure out who's worth getting an invite next year.


til next time; Semper Fi to all those with a Marine in their lives.... THANK YOU to all the Vets out there (past and present) .... and Happy 39 years to my folks.

wondering

as I sit here listening to Rhena NOT take her nap, I'm wondering if it'd be considered rude to leave my blog address on our answering machine so folks would stop calling to see if the baby has come out yet?


Having gone through this before with Rhena (she was 8 days late), I know deep down that folks are just being nice and I really do feel appreciative that all of stepford is checking in on my well-being. it's just... well...

you know that old saying about if you have to ask about how much something is, you probably can't afford it? well.. if you have to ask me if I've given birth yet, maybe it's cause I HAVEN'T, or I'm really just not that into you to let you know otherwise???

bah. sorry. I'm just being grouchy. I never got my fried chicken yesterday, so maybe that's the root of it all. Momma's gots to have the grease every now and then to keep the smile on the face, ya know.


and speaking of smiles... I have to say out loud that I'm DAMN impressed with myself for not ripping into the 2-pound box of chocolates I bought a week ago for the nursing staff at the hospital. TWO POUNDS!!!! CHOCOLATE!!!! IN MY HOUSE!!!! FOR A WEEK!!!! untouched!


yes... I am going to the hospital with a thank you gift for people I haven't met yet nor have had any services rendered from. (yet) I figure it doesn't hurt to butter up the staff that will be in control of my drugs, and how quickly I get them, though. cause you know we here at the fever are BIG supporters of not feeling childbirth.


and on the subject of not feeling..... I am in no way shape or form feeling like what I ate for lunch was enough food, so I'm about to go troll for some leftover halloween candy. there's GOT to be some hidden somewhere, even if it's just a shitty bag of m&m's......

peace out....

Thanks, but still no baby

thanks for checking in.... but nope... no baby yet.


That's fine. my 'due date' was only yesterday, so for sure we're under two weeks max now. Plus, dare I ever type this out loud... but I haven't had a full-on puke session since LAST sunday. (mind you, I'm getting up 1 -3x a night because I'm choking on the vomit in my throat....) but no hard-core puke fests in a week and a half. That's right gang... today is day TEN of no major puking!!!! How could I NOT be in a good mood?

other than that, all computer systems seem to be restored to their proper working order in the Johnson house. I even played a little Call of Duty last night on xbox live. Troy just sat and shook his head as I got obliterated by my competition.... but by my third game, I actually killed four other people. I was proud!


the weather today is one of those days where if I had the right mind, (and no child) I'd stay in bed all day. grey with a slight chill, then the occasional sun peeking through at full blast to remind you that you do indeed live in the south.... but not enough that you don't feel guilty for not being out and about basking in it. this is fried chicken weather, people..... actually, we could be having a hurricane today and I'd still think it's fried chicken weather. I just hear Bojangles calling me. (perhaps my digestive system is subconciously trying to clean itself out so I don't shit all over this next child if indeed forced to push it out???)

I dunno... nor do I want to think about it much more. I'd prefer just to focus on the fact that today is day 10 with no pukes, and in roughly or less than two weeks, we's gonna have another baby up in here. If I allow myself to actually think about the whole nature show of pain and pushing and ripping, tearing, cutting and blood and rings of fire and associated things that go hand-in-hand with child birth, I may just pass the fuck out.

so yeah... day 10, and T-minus 14 days.

sweet.

Together Again

well thank the heavens.... my pirating days are over. (my days of spelling shit wrong, are NOT, however, so feel free to continue on with the editorial comments on my typos)



anyways... we still don't have the wireless router set up, so I'm currently taking up half of the living room with wires and my belly so I can connect directly to the modem.


but despite my size... I'm feeling fast. this connection is much faster than our old service.... even though I had to wait a week to get it (grrrrrrr)

I'm curious to see if the wireless connections will be as speedy. we'll see later, I suppose.


anyways... other than that... all is the same here at the Fever. still no baby.... stilllll feeling like a bloated cow. but I ain't saying anything I haven't said the past few months, now, am I?


alrighty gang. look for me to be trolling a blog near you. I have much catching up to do!

Bandwith Pirate

ok... just checking in really quick on someone else's wireless network to let y'all know that there is still no baby.

in other news, Troy decided to switch up our internet provider et all, and accidently had them cancel our old one about a WEEK before the new one will be up and running.


(I know.... don't get me started!)



in the meantime, I will pretty much NOT be online, cause when I am, I'm breaking all sorts of rules here in stepford. In fact, I wouldn't doubt it if I get a letter from the homeownerss' association fining me for the five minutes I've just pirated.


but for now... no baby.


happy november.

The song remains the same

ahh yes. same shit, different day.

actually, I lied. It's raining today, so TECHNICALLY it's not the SAME shit.


had another appointment today. gaining weight like Mariah Carey cancels concerts (refer to MiMi's latest here...) and the cervix remains on the lock down. repeat... NO SIGN OF BABY HERE!!!!


The good news is that the doc today said they won't let me go past 2 weeks overdue, so WORST case scenario, I'll be popping this muffin out the week of thanksgiving, and won't be expected to entertain anyone. HAH!

oh well. whaddaryagonnado? Again.. I have my 'drop dead' date in my head, and although it's horrifyingly like a month away... I have to believe that if I focus on that late date, then at some point along the way, I'll be pleasantly surprised by the One Within no longer being within.

Of course, the astrologically inclined side of me is almost hoping for the late date, cause that would mean we would then have THREE saggitarians in our house, vs two sags, a virgo and a (shudder!) SCORPIO.

but in the long run a scorpio would probably be better than that later date, cause who knows who's gonna get hurt if my mom ends up staying til then. KIDDING! ok, but not really. I honestly don't know if the ole lady's knees can handle Rhena til then.


but whatever! today is friday and I have chocolate in the house. that has to count for something......

Another Quickie

aside from having the attention span of a gnat lately... I just haven't had the time to really sit still for long periods of time.


even sleeping has been sporadic, as I have to get up to pee every time the One Within decides to play "Jimmy* Crack Corn" on my bladder.


anyways... I couldn't help but notice that "Stay at Home Mom" (or even WORKING Mom, for that matter!!) didn't make it on MSN's 10 Sexy Jobs List.

imagine that!



* No, mom... the child is NOT going to be called Jimmy... though I *am* beginning to consider my MIL's suggestion of Buck. Buck is gender nuetral, right????

High and Tight

I know this phrase can mean a lot to a lot of different folks..... marine's haircut... mom jeans.... a prude at a club....


in this case I'm talking about my cervix.


just checking in real quick in between a diaper change and run to do some errands to let y'all know that there is no eminant sign of this child coming out soon. my cervix... much like a turtle.... is hard, closed, and about 50 feet up my who-hah. (-2 station for all y'all med nerds)


I'm guessing that the kid will arrive somewhere between nov 12th-15th... much to the chagrin of my Nov 7th due date. but that's just me.

feel free to bet amongst yourselves as I go change my child's shit-covered ass, then spend my husband's hard-earned money at middle-class america's crackhouse...

Unknown soldier

I am a soldier in an unknown battle, folks.


I have been very anxious lately with the shit-storm of activity that's headed my way... yet I just don't know how to prepare for it.


On one hand, I DO know a baby WILL be coming out of me... and that baby's gonna be a small helpless little thing that's going to need a LOT of attention (and milk and diapers). I'm going to be getting very little.... if any.... sleep. It's not going to be easy. but I'll do it, and I'll manage, and one day I'll wake up and that baby will be a few months or a year old, and I will catch my breath. And I take comfort that I will have a husband by my side during all aforementioned struggles, cause that's just how we roll here in Johnsonville.

but that's about all I know.


will it be a boy or a girl? when will it come? will it be a vbac or will I need to get cut open again? will it be healthy?

and then there's Rhena. .....perhaps my biggest source of strife right now.


people. I LOVE me some Rhena. I mean love love love.... makes me cry I love her so much, LOVE my baby girl.

how is SHE going to handle this new baby?

better yet... how am *I* going to handle making sure Rhena is no less loved with another body in our house?


I mean.. I know deep down it'll all work out and Rhena will be fine, and the One Within should do fairly well as well... after all, *I* am a second born, and I feel loved by MY parents.....

but will I do as good a job? I dunno.

I think that at least I'm cognizant of Rhena needing to go through an adjustment period that it should help my cause.... (I say my cause but really I mean OUR cause, cause Troy and I are definitely in this shit together) But seriously.... if I hear ONE MORE story about how someone's first-born was sweet and loving until the second one came around... I may just stick with the puking and keep this one in me forever.

I know the stories come by way of well-meaning parents of more than one child, just like all the stories I was bombarded with while pregnant with my first. When I was preggo with Rhena, it was if anyone and everyone who had given birth or known someone who had given birth was compelled to give me some horror story or another about how shit would change, the woes of no sleep, and well.... pretty much EVERYTHING.

This time around, I must say that I have really been spared a lot of stories. Maybe because I think I've perfected my "seriously, bitch... do I LOOK like I want to hear about your life???" face... or maybe the general populous figured that if I didn't figure shit out the first time through, then I ought to suffer in my stupidity?

But there has been NO MERCY in terms of people predicting my future... or rather I should say RHENA'S future in the attitude department.

For the most part, I have smiled, nodded, and then immediately disposed of any unsolicited advice, because as you know.. or at least can guess... I'm pretty good at stressing myself out. I typically need no one's help in that department.

But my Rhena. my Rhena my little baby Rhena.

I don't want her stressed. and *I'M* stressed wondering how in hell I'm going to keep HER from stressing!!!

but again. I'm fighting a battle that doesn't exist yet... nor may it ever. But as real as my need for a decaf starbuck's maple macchiato is on a daily basis... this is an issue weighing heavy in my heart.

So chalk another up to hormones (cause seriously... I don't even use syrup on pancakes cause I think the shit is N-A-S-T-Y NAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTY, and I'm guzzling these macchiatos like it's MY JOB) but I can't help but feel worried about Rhena, and excited about the new baby, then guilty for the stress it might cause Rhena, then even GUILTIER that I'm not more excited about this amazing new character about to enter Johnsonville. Add in the dose of Irish Catholic, and well... I just need another fucking macchiato.... plain and simple.

Bad Parent "to-do" List

so I believe Susie was the one who mentioned this list, but I know for damn sure I hit about like six different things this morning.


you see folks... in my last days of the 'easy' life of parenting only one child... I managed to scare the living SHIT out of my daughter this morning. why? how? you ask?


well.. WHY... cause I'm stupid stupid stupid. let me repeat. STUPID STUPID STUPID. just plain stupidity on my part......


as for the HOW...... EVERYONE and my mother has seen this website where you try to notice the differences between the pictures. and you're staring and you're looking, then WHAM... the chick from the Exorcist or some equally freaky face blares out at you while jacking your speakers up to a sonic-boom volume.

dude. don't TELL me you haven't seen it at least once. if you haven't, then I beg you to come out of that rock you're obviously living under. but I digress.


so I've seen this shit like 100 times... AT LEAST.


yet.... I clicked on it. and the starting pictures were different then ones I've seen before, so I thought maybe just maybe this really WAS a count the difference thing. (you see, I was actually just on the computer trying to order some Polish Christmas Ornaments for the Aunts up in Jersey for Christmas this year, then I was distracted waiting for the Polish site to come up, so I was just clicking through e-mails and what not...)

so OF COURSE...... in walks Rhena as the 'count the difference' website is up, and JUST as she rounds the desk to see what Mom-muh is doing on the computer... evil-bitch-face pops up and starts blaring my speakers.


I am an asshole. I am stupid stupid stupid, and my poor baby got the fishsticks-for-dinner scared right out of her.

just pencil my name on that "shitty parent but having another child" membership roster while you're at it. I know I really deserve to have a rough labor after today.... or at the very least.... get kicked out of Stepford.

Tea for Two, and Three for Me

that, of course, meaning tea for me and the One Within, and Three very good friends for me.


so I didn't touch on it yesterday, but I had a VERY lovely time at the tea thrown for me this weekend. Including myself, there were eight ladies present, and from start to finish, I honestly felt like royalty.


Everything was done "just-so" and my friends missed no details. I believe the whole setting even prevented me from cursing the entire time, too, so you KNOW I was feeling proper!


seriously, though.. it was a wonderful afternoon in which I got to spend with some very lovely women whom I've come to know over the past year and a half that I've lived here. Each one of them being there meant the world to me.

We snacked on SO many finger sandwiches and appetizer-sized quiches and spanicopita (sp?) (sp?) and there were four different kinds of home-mad scones, and greek cookies and petit fours and a healthy amount of chocolate to keep this preggo momma well-rounded. literally.

The best thing about my girls is they had about 7 different bottles of liquors and cordials on the table to mix with our teas and coffees (do these girls know me or what??) and promises were made to do this again when *I* can have my tea spiked, too.


to top it all off, some of the girls even gave me gifts.... different lotions and shampoos and a certificate for a massage and a bracelet and even more lotions. I was beyond touched by their generosity. Here's me with my hostesses... I'd be the big ole pregnant one 2nd from the right.




I can't really explain how truly lucky I feel to have made the friends I have in such a short period of time here in stepford. and to continue that train of thought... in Blog-land. I mean, I suppose you get what you look for in many ways, but I guess I wasn't aware of how I really HAVE been seeking friendship.

anyways... this post is heading hormonal in a big way, so I'll leave it at me being grateful for the friends I have made recently. whether it's e-mails, comments, or a fancy tea... I definitely feel my life is supplemented with good people.

pumpy kin

ok... now THAT'S a title that's sure to bring in the weirdos on google hits!



once again, it's monday... and here in Johnsonville, we had a good weekend. The house is nowhere near cleaned, and while I *did* get my suitcase out of the closet.. it remains unpacked.

we DID, however, go on Saturday and pick ourselves a nice group of pumpkins. Rhena had fun running around outside, and thoroughly enjoyed herself when she was in charge of pulling the wagon.

SUCH a difference from last year, and I don't mean that because I myself am LOOKING like a pumpkin these days. last year at this time, Rhena was walking, but oh-so-unsteady on her feet. she typically opted to hold on to someone's hand, or in her true princess fashion, she preferred to be carried. This year there would be none of that, because as she pointedly told me and Troy about 30 times... "I do it, Dah-yee" and "I do it, mom-muh!"

I also would like to point out that she has MUCH more hair this year, and is much more cuter than that old man named Frank that embodied my baby girl for about a year or so.

There was climbing on haystacks, and watching horses, and more running through fields and even more pictures. Rhena climbed a fence, rode on her daddy's shoulders, then got down and ran some more.

After we loaded up our loot, we headed home as Rhena serenaded us to her very own version of the "pumpy-kin pumpy-kin pumpy-kin.. hoooray!" song. my kid's got skillz, I tell you. yeah, I mean skills with a Z. after all.... she *is* my kid, after all.

It's beginning to look a lot like....

bedlam.


sheer fucking, insane BEDLAM.



seriously. there's baby shit all over the house (well, not LITERALLY... but I can see how you might think that given the nature of yesterday's post. but no... I'm talking about gender-neutral stuff that needs to be washed and put away before the One Within makes the grand arrival)

I'm FINALLY taking down all of Rhena's 2nd birthday decorations. as much as I think it's K-E-W-L cool for her to wake up every day thinking it's a party in our house.... it's time to move on. Speaking of moving on.... will someone send a memo to the big #2 balloon that it should probably stop floating by now? I mean, I love a good bargain just as much as anyone, but a balloon still floating after a month is almost creepy, doncha think?

also adding to the mix of the Festiveness de Johnson is a bunch of Halloween decorations that I finally dug out today and am trying to put out, some regular-around-the-house fall colorage I like to put up, and of course... those damn favors for the Christmas Social.

And while in most cases I've just described any given ROOM in my parents' house (I SWEAR my mom has every holiday represented in one shape or another all through the year, bless her heart) you forget that in our delicious personal mix of bedlam.... you have a zany two year old tear-assing around the house at the speed of light leaving more toys in her wake than Santa in his younger years.... only to be meagerly followed by yours-truly.... a much larger, slower, and possibly ROUNDER version of Burl Ives after a hard day narrating childrens' Christmas Specials.


it's damn messy up in here, folks... and I need a drink! (and a back rub, and someone to bring me chocolates, and maybe even while I'm at it... cook dinner, clean up, fold that laundry, and saaaay... wouldn't some apple bread be swell, too?)


oh well. like they say.. this too, shall pass. Eventually I'll get there.... hopefully before the One Within does, that is. of course... I always have my fool-proof methods of preventing that I go into labor. They worked like a charm with rhena, so I imagine I can at least keep this one at bay until I get a bag packed for the hospital. or clean off a few square inches of space so I can put it down somewhere when we get HOME from the hospital.


have a great weekend, kiddies. we'll be picking pumpkins tomorrow and I'll be having Tea on Sunday. maybe I'll just have some interesting shit to blog about next week? bets not get ahead of ourselves, though. enjoy your friday!

The Revolution of Poop

yes.. I DO mean revolution.... as in how my world revolves around poop in one shape or another these days.


If I'm not waiting for rhena to squeeze one out so she's not an ABSOLUTE bear for the day... then I'm saying a rosary or two that my ENTIRE colon doesn't come out with the latest round of popcorn-crap I'm hoping will eventually come out of me... giving me possibly just....one...extra...inch...inside.


yes... poop happens. except for when it doesn't, then all hell breaks loose.

but speaking of loose.... and hell... and poop... can I just say how NASTY a teething child's diapers can be?

actually... let's not go there. it's just about dinner time.

annnnnnd EXHALE

seriously.


I love Troy. repeat.. I love my husband.

but MAN OH MAN that motherfucker stresses me out!!!!!


so in today's episode of "Let's see how we can stress Carrie Out", we find our dashing prince asking permission to purchase tickets to a World Series game... just in case the Detroit Tigers actually make it.


the game would be in Detroit.

2 weeks before my due date.

in Detroit. (did you catch that? we live in North Carolina)


for $885.

for one ticket.



I wasn't sure if it was a trick question, or if he might have been drunk, but sure enough.. he was seriously asking permission to purchase a ticket for that much, spend yet ANOTHER $300-some dollars on plane-fare to GET to said game...... (and let's not talk ab out how much would have been spent on food and souveniers and other shit and did I mention how fucking close to my DUE DATE the game would be????)


I did what any pregnant woman would do, after I regained my ability to speak, that is.


I started crying.


not sure if the crying thing was necessary, but it DID make him feel like an asshole for bringing up the idea of skipping town so close to my due date.... and don't even get me started on the whole money thing. crackhead.


oh well. I still love him. moreso when he's not trying to go to Detroit.... but definitely still love him.

Feeling Stepford

I often joke about how it is here in the land of Stepford.... perfectly groomed lawns, families with 2.5 kids.... cookie-cutter lives with identical minivans and SAHMs that do "Southern Living" Parties for extra cash.


I do have to be honest here, though.... I have met some wonderful women here. Three of these wonderful women have taken it upon themselves to throw an afternoon tea in my (and the One Within's) honor.


I'm truly touched.


I don't want nor do I need a baby shower, and these ladies know me, and dare I say love me.. well enough to not bestow the traditional baby-showerama at me. They've simply organized an afternoon to get together with a handful of friends minus babies and husbands. They even included a special note in the invitation requesting that the guests NOT bring gifts for the baby.

These girls get me.... they really do.



Like I said... I'm just honestly very touched. Obviously, for anyone to throw any kind of gathering on my behalf is enough to make this cow be appreciative, but to do so in a manner that defies all standard laws of Stepford, well... that just warms my heart.

you say hello, and I say goodbye

hey gang...

I'm finally back in the world of working laptops, so hello again!!!

sorry I've been MIA.... playing house with rhena and the one within doesn't allow much time to sit in the office and check e-mails and blog all day. (especially with that damn ergonomic keyboard which makes me type even slower!!) having the laptop certainly helps for multi-tasking, so it would appear we're back in business.


Today, of course, is monday, so I'm super busy trying to prepare for my CCD class tonight, and keep my obsessive-compulsive-must-wash-her-hands-30-times-a-day daughter from crying because it's really difficult (and not to mention bad for her excema) to allow rhena to wash her hands 30 times a day, and still accomplish the other 1000 things that have to get done around here on a daily basis.

Troy just left for miami, which is all fine and good... cause I sure as hell would rather have him traveling now, when I still have 4 weeks left in this pregnancy, vs in about 4 weeks and I'm super cranky cause it's past my due date and the one within is showing no signs of coming out.


I *DO* want to thank everyone for the good wishes, e-mails and prayers regarding the recent sizing issue with the one within. I went last thursday for the ultrasound, and all is indeed well. Turns out the lil critter *is* measuring on the smaller side... but only the 40th percentile, so we certainly have no reason to be worried. Apparently the docs were more concerned that my fluid levels might be very low (which they're not).... WHY they didn't just tell me that in the beginning, I have no idea... but given the appointment I had had what with pee spilling everywhere and rhena screaming like a wounded banshee... I probably also forgot to ASK them why they were so concerned.

and so it goes. (or at least my sanity does, anyway.)

lots of shit to be done, including giving this blog another facelift. I'm a bit over the red and intermission-style-drug-buffet. But first... CCD class has papers to be graded and a lesson plan to be created for tonight. And of course, there's Rhena... standing outside her locked bathroom, screaming that she can't get in to wash her hands.


happy monday, kids. I'll be around to visit soon... I promise!

Three pounds forward, four weeks back

well... it's friday... and all I can say is thank goodness.


yesterday was one of those afternoons that reminds me that this pregnancy can really do a humdinger on my head... especially when the hormones are allowed to have a say in anything.


To recap... I had my 34 week appointment yesterday. I was sort of excited, cause we're heading into the final stretch, and I was enjoying the fact that I still had one more appointment left before my lower body becomes the latest exploratory region for anyone with rubber gloves.

(Call me silly.. but I've been enjoying not having to take my pants off in my enlarged state)


anyways... turns out I had to wake Rhena up from her nap so I could make it to the appointment on time. for anyone not knowing Rhena.. this in itself is a BAD IDEA. You see... Rhena... like her momma... does NOT like to be pried from sleep. when able to wake up on our own.. we can be very pleasant people. however... whomever dost wake the slumbering beast.... well, let's just say they're in for a real hell ride for the next HOUR or so.

SO if you can tell where I'm going with this... rhena was a real skootch the whole appointment. screamed and cried when I had to do my urine sample, cause.. who the hell knows ... cause we were in a bathroom??? And while I'm at it.. why on earth do doctors' offices bathrooms have such a tendency to ECHO??? I mean... seriously. most of the time if you're at a doctor's office, you're not feeling well, and add in bathroom time to that, and well, echoing is just not pretty. And rhena screaming to an echo was no fun either.

(I won't even really get into how I ended up pissing on my own hand and spilling half my sample on my thigh... I'll just let you run with that one....)

so it turns out the doctor I was scheduled to see had to go deliver a baby. This didn't bother me so much, cause I like knowing that in the back of my head that babies coming out of vaginas take precendence over scheduled appointments. but the extra time with a pissed off child waiting for another doctor to see me did not make the day go quicker, if you know what I mean.

so yadda yadda yadda... finally stuff gets rolling, and I'm happy to report that I actually gained weight this appointment. 3 pounds, to be exact. This makes my total gain to this point at 14 pounds, which is pretty good for all the puking I've been doing. so hooray! progress!


Unfortunately, the next part of my exam didn't go as well. turns out my belly is only now measuring 30 cm.... which is a whole centimeter less than I was two weeks ago, and approximately FOUR less than what I SHOULD be measuring for someone who is 34 weeks pregnant.

so basically... even though I finally gained some weight... my belly shrunk.

given my frazzled state from rhena yesterday afternoon, and the hormones that tend to run amok during pregnancy... I did not receive this news very well. I manned up as the doctor measured me no less than six times, all with a furrowed brow. I manned up when each person that came into the room muttered a concerned "only 30 cm? oh..." and even again when they told me to come back next week for an ultrasound.

I cried like a baby when I called troy on my way home, though. and when I talked to my mom once I got home.

cause you know... with all the shit I've been dealing with with the puking and the medications, and rhena being an UBER pain in the ass yesterday... I just kinda broke.


Today... I'm fine. I know in my head that things must not be at a state of emergency alarm, because they would have made me have an ultrasound like right then, or even today. The fact that it can wait a week makes me feel like this is only a precautionary measure for the One Within.

I DO maintain some quiet reservations wondering if all the anti-puke meds have anything to do with this backwards development in the baby's growth.... but right now they're still quiet. I figure there'll be plenty of time to stress next Thursday if indeed anything is majorly wrong.

and again... I'm happy about the weight gain. that's a good sign. But alas... I'd be lying to say if my heart wasn't just a teeny bit heavy with concern for the One Within.

oh well. next thursday will be here soon enough, and I'm sure Rhena will keep me busy til then. In the meantime... I'll be the one laying low, and secretly rubbing breast-enlargement cream on my belly.

have a good weekend, gang....

Body by Chex Mix

I SERIOUSLY have a problem.


it's called chex mix, and I've been eating the shit out of it like it's my JOB. I've eaten no less than three bags of the "chocolate lover's Turtle flavor" this month alone. BY MYSELF. and MOST of the time, mowing down at least half a bag in one sitting.

and you KNOW it's just naaaaaasty when I puke it up later... but here I am... chomp chomp crunch. *poof!* another bag bites the dust!


I mean, I suppose there are worse things I could be inhaling at break-neck speed... like, say.... deep fried oreos??? (which, by the way, I have never had, but my girlfriend told me she saw a sign for them and now I'm utterly intrigued by the idea......)


other than my strange and totally wrong-proportioned eating habits.. not much is shaking here. Fall TV shows have begun again, so my movie watching and book reading has declined to the point of me MAYBE reading like one chapter of a trashy easy-reading book a week. IF THAT. and netflix is surely getting their money's worth out of us now, as we MIGHT watch one movie a week. MIGHT. most of the time it's HALF a movie, and then it sits around for another three weeks til we watch the second half.

I did watch Green Street Hooligans last night, though. interesting flick... VERY graphic fight scenes. like makes-Fight-Club-look-like-a-bunch-of-pussies-sitting-around-drinking-tea kind of graphic. I was ducking and weaving and saying OOF! and OH! like the old batman shows on more than one occasion.

It got troy and I playing the 'what if' game afterwards, too. Like... "what if we're out sometime and some guy comes up to you and grabs you really hard? how would you wnat me to react?"

It lead to an interesting conversation regarding how so many women differ on their thoughts... from the "if any man even LOOKS at me funny you better kick his ass" type, to the "under NO circumstances is fighting ok" type.. to the middle road types.

I'm more in the middle of the road place. I mean, situation is everything, so it's hard to say how you'll react unless the picture is right there, but I told troy that I would expect him to remain respectful and in control at all times.... whether meaning towards me, another woman, another man.... doesn't matter. "Contain and Maintain" I believe is what I ended up labeling it. basically, I guess I feel that if a strong word can correct behavior, I see no need for punches to be thrown. but again... depends on the situation.

Of COURSE this got me thinking to Rhena, and in which case I'd say all bets are off, cause momma bear would rip some new assholes if anyone tried to hurt my baby.... but once again... situation is everything.


oh well.. I thought talking about fighting would make me less hungry, but unfortunately is hasn't.... cause Hooligans sounds like Houlihan's... which was a restaurant that I remember getting a stuffed chicken breast at once like, I dunno.. 10 years ago... and now I'm thinking about food again.


and the chex mix is gone.

oh well. at least Grey's Anatomy is on tonight. surely watching that whore-bag character Meredith hook up with the married guy again will make me lose my appetite.

one can hope.