I TOTALLY shouldn't do this today, but oh well...

yeah.. so i'm looking at the calendar and I just realized that today is 06/06/06... the release date for the new version of the Omen. creepy, yet so cool that they worked it to be released today.



I myself decided to do my own little release today, and not for any spiritual reasons... just thought it was time.


of course, NOW looking at the date, I'm thinking... eh... maybe I could have waited til my 2 year bloggiversary... and am I really THAT superstitious? today isn't really evil, is it?

but whatever. I already changed my profile picture, so too late.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I'm pleased to announce that starting in November, the Fever will be under NEW MANAGEMENT.

That's right.... there's been a re-structuring of some sorts here in Johnsonville, and we will be taking on another manager. The new manager's name and specifics will not be released until he or she officially begin their term here at the Fever. Rhena will continue to be acting Chief, she will just share authorative power when the time arrives.

I appreciate your support during this transitional time, and hope you will give a warm welcome to the new manager come November. UNTIL THEN... business as usual!

here goes nothin'

ok. trying out a new template.


hoping it's not going to make everyone's shit crash. I imagine if it does, I'll hear about it soon enough.

if everything's coming up dandy for you, leave me a comment so I know I fixed whatever it was that was causing shit to go bizzarro.

thanks.

For the Love of the Job

You ever notice how there are just some jobs that not everybody can do? I imagine that can be said about pretty much any job, due to skill sets or other educational requirements. but SOME JOBS... well, let's face it... they ain't for everybody.


Today, I'm thinking particularly about teachers, and more specifically, about my mom.


NOW, I know I've mentioned my mom on my blog before, and most of the time it's in some side comment where I'm defending some outlandishly stupid behavior I've done that my mom will most likely flip out about. I've probably depicted her as a VERY old-school, over-protective and firmly resolved tough bizzle. If I HAVE, it's because, well... she IS. She IS Irish and Hungarian, after all, AND is from Jersey. TRUST me when I tell you she is not one to mess with. Throw in a heaping dose of some stereo-typical Catholic attributes, and you'll have my mom as portrayed in a made-for-tv movie.


BUT... like any good and TRUE-to-life character... my mom is much more than that. The woman has some layers, people. Deep, complex, colorful layers that even I, after 33 years, am only beginning to understand the half of.

Some of the layers to my enigmom run in her professional sphere... she is a teacher.

my mom has been teaching for God knows how many years. seriously. I don't even know. Before I was born, I can tell you that. I remember her working in a nursery school, and I remember one other stint in a school in a town called woodbridge, (I Think??? all I really remember is the windows and the sinks in her class) she was a teacher for some junior-high/middle school kids for a while.... but for the past 21 years, she has been teaching in the same Catholic school.

let me repeat that. TWENTY ONE YEARS. in the SAME PLACE. Mostly first grade, with a few grade changes here and there, but for the majority of those 21 years, she has been a first grade teacher.

Now, I dunno about you, but I remember MY first grade teacher. (Mrs Counsman) I also remember a LOT about that particular school year. I mean, I remember some things here and there about kindergarten, but my strongest and first memories from school are from my first grade year. So even some what.... 28? years later, I remember shit that went down that year.

So that gets me thinking about my mom.... 21+ years of creating foundational memories for 15-30 kids at a time... that's a pretty big audience. no pressure, huh?

but anyways... all of that is really an aside. What I've seen over the past 21 years is a woman who not only goes to work every day, but brings home her work each night, too. whether it's the papers she grades, the lesson plans, letters to parents or the report cards... there was always SOME paperwork that had to be done.

and the children. I'd be lying if I said that every year wasn't a new batch of characters in our house. Each year, we'd hear about the child who can't stop crying, or wetting their pants, or experienced death in their family, or anything and everything. Every year, and every child.. my mother would teach, nurture and LOVE these children as if they were her own. She would emote her frustrations to us when she knew certain children could do better but were too lazy, she would anguish over the children that were experiencing trouble at home. She would beam with pride when 'her kids' did something good. Again... it was if each year we had a bunch of foster children in our family... they just didn't physically live in our house.

Now maybe some people say she did more than she needed to, and put more of herself into her job than she was required.... but now, as a parent.... I can definitely say I wouldn't want Rhena to be taught by anyone OTHER than the likes of my mother. Especially at the age of 6 and 7... I want to know that Rhena is in the care of someone that really loves what they're doing... and not just checking off tasks.


and it's not just that my mom went above and beyond her 'job requirements' for the 21+ years. She did it in circumstances that anyone with a professional job would just shudder at.

For example... as a working professional... over the course of 21 years, would you find it acceptable that your salary only increased approximately 12 thousand dollars? How many years would YOU stay at a job without even GETTING a raise?

How many days a week can you stand on your feet all day and not even get to take a lunch?

Do your employees shit their pants or throw up on you? Because apparently that's a common occurrence every year in the first grade.

DO you get told to go to professional workshops on your days off and not even get reimbursed for the time or money spent at said workshops?

Have you ever been told that you can't attend a funeral service because someone else from your company is going?

Do you have to pay for your own supplies?

Have you ever had to wait two months to see your grandchild because taking off during that time of year just wouldn't be good for your employees?

Perhaps you've been berated by the parents of one of your employees because you did not provide said employee with a snack that said parents forgot to give to employee that morning.


I could go on. The shit my mother has dealt with over the years has been horrible at times to down right ridiculous. Yet... for so many years... she stayed. Why? because of the children. because she's a teacher, and no matter what has been thrown at her, she believes what she does is important, and carries on.

This past week, my mother was finally offered a contract stating the conditions in which the school would have her work next year. Please ignore the fact that there are only 2 weeks left in this school year, thus making it virtually impossible for her to find employment elsewhere should she find the terms presented as unacceptable.

What she was 'offered' was to teach 27 children (FIVE of which would be special needs children), CHANGE to third grade, with NO monetary increase on her salary. Nothing says appreciation like completely changing your job role, taking on more responsibility, and doing it for the same shit money you're getting now.

can I get a big FUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

I admire the hell out of my mother. I can NOT even begin to post about how much I look up to her and how she's set the bar in so many ways for how I believe HUMANS should be. But when it comes to teaching... she is second to none in my eyes. Sure, she's tough as nails, but she's GOOD. She constantly does whatever she can to get through to her kids... reaches out to parents so that the learning doesn't stop in the classroom, and too many times puts those kids' needs before those of her own.

She has dealt with shitty administration and suck-ass work conditions and real jack-fuck parents over the years. and unfortunately, moreso than ever... the shitty administration and suck-ass work conditions and jack-fuck parents have gotten worse.


I see it so much, even in some of the random people I meet that are parents. They expect the teacher to coddle and teach and nurture their child, but get downright pissy at the teacher when the child in unable to meet basic expectations in school. For example... we have some friends that got angry at their child's teacher when a book report was assigned in the 5th grade. ANGRY. because said child has been getting book reports since the third grade, and 'these teachers don't even tell the kids how to DO a book report.. they just expect the kids to know how." (let's ignore that parents just admitted that said child has been getting book reports assigned for the previous 2 years... that kind of ignorance even hurts ME to think about)


ANYWAYS... my point is this. As a teacher, you may be in charge of 20+ children at a time, yet will be expected to treat each child as if they are your only responsibility. Not everyone can do that, or for that matter, do it well.

I may be biased, but I know my mother does it, and does it really damn well. But alas... she has decided not to do it anymore.

After this recent 'contract offering'... she said no. No to the terms they presented, and no to the shit that comes along with it. SO in two weeks, my mom will have her last day of school.

and you know what? I know inside she's heartbroken.


True, she's proud of herself for finally saying 'no more' to the shit end of the stick she's been dealing with for so long... but she's a TEACHER... and I know she knows there's more in her to give.


And so the bittersweet story goes, right? The ole girl still has more fight in her. Maybe just maybe she can hang on for one more year.

But selfishly, I say NO MORE, and HOO-FUCKING-RAY that she's not going back. Why? BECAUSE the ole girl still has more fight left in her, and I want it for me. for my daughter, for my husband and brother and sister-in-law and nieces and nephew and my father and for any future child I may have.

I'll be DAMNED if some unappreciative institution breaks the spirit of my mother or tarnishes her career in any way. She has given SO MUCH of her time, her love, her energy, of HERSELF... and I know she's done it because she loves to do it, but it's high time she does it for people that will tell her how much they appreciate what she does and love her for it.

For the love of the job, my mother has done tremendous things in her years. I can not even BEGIN to say how proud I am of her, and how she has forever changed my perception of teachers in this world.

Selfishly, I am SO HAPPY she's not going back to school next year.... cause those rat-sab motherfuckers just don't appreciate her the way I feel they should. I DO feel bad for her in that it has come to a point where she drew her line and said no more.

But I take comfort in the knowledge that my mother is not done teaching yet. True.. she may not be in a classroom every day next year, but people like my mother will NEVER stop teaching. and God willing... I pray I will never stop learning from her.


I love you, mom... and I'm SO PROUD OF YOU.

Busting Out All Over

and I'm not saying that just because I went bathing suit shopping yesterday, either.


well, ok.. maybe a little.


SERIOUSLY. bathing suit shopping is tough.



I went with my girlfriend, and while I only tried on two, she must have tried on like 30. It can be quite the depressing thing; lifting, pulling, squeezing, tucking, sucking.... and that's in the privacy of a fitting room!


of the two I tried on, one was a brown tankini number that made my shoulders and boobs look delicious. yes... I said it. DELICIOUS. the color brown went WONDERFULLY with my skin tone, and the way the straps cut in just so, I could have taken a few pictures of myself. however, from the area in which my breasts stopped and below... it was not so yummy. the bottoms came up too high and cut into places I didn't even know I HAD fat rolls, and the torso seaming was a little crooked and really accentuated my love handles. cause you KNOW that shit is sexy. so you know I passed on that one.


the other one I tried on and decided to purchase is another tankini, and it's nice. it's pink orange and white, though. just not sure I'm loving the colors. The cut works pretty well, though, and I imagine that with a tan I should be able to "work it out," as Randy Jackson likes to say. It's just that right now I put it on and think of cotton candy. maybe I WILL return it. I dunno.


Troy says he likes it (speaking of, he's back in town) but then again... he's been with me long enough to stay very clear of opinions on bathing suits. so who knows... he could probably hate it... he's just avoiding any hormonal outbursts from me. smart fella, I tell you.


so this weekend is the Taste of Charlotte. we went last year, and I enjoyed it. it wasn't a HUGE food offering like other places I've been to, but it's nice enough. and besides.. they have kettle corn. what more reason do I need?


so that's about it. I have a ton of errands to run today (BLAH) and one may just be returning the suit. we'll see. if I keep talking about cotton candy and sweet things, you'll know I decided to keep it.

have a great day, everyone.

I'm dilated!

oh relax people... I just went to the eye doctor's this morning. and yeah... note to self... bring SUNGLASSES next time you decide to have your eyes checked in the middle of the day without a frigging CLOUD in the sky!!!



let's just say driving home was NOT fun.


oh well... I'm off to possibly buy a bathing suit today. I say possibly, because there's no promises that I won't break down in a crying fit of bodily shame and start throwing up everywhere. I'll be bringing my Twinkie friend... and her boobs are MUCH bigger than mine, so she'll have an even harder time finding something that fits right. (hey-- don't hate me cause I know and exploit the fact that misery loves company!)


to tide you over, here is my child.. eating corn on the cob for the first time. She's really a funny bird to watch in person, cause she just eats the SHIT out of the corn. I mean, really digs in and goes to town. I admire that kind of gusto when it comes to food. she's definitely my kind of girl.

anyways... enjoy:

and just for fun... in action:

hmph

so today's the last day of may! wow. I can't believe tomorrow is june already.


I'm nowhere even NEAR ready to begin a new template for june. all I keep thinking about are the italian ices in our freezer downstairs cause it's hot as fresh shit outside. blah!


I have some 'corny' pictures to upload.... maybe I'll do that later. (we gave Rhena corn on the cob this weekend, and she just went bugnuts eating it. pure comedy, and of course.. because I'm biased... cute as hell.)


speaking of comedy--- Last comic standing started up again I see. I enjoy that show. I watched a good chunk of it last night in between being pissed off at different blogs that have been getting hate-posters. I just don't get it. if you read something you don't like on someone's blog... why do you have to make a point of telling that person how they offended you? I mean, I imagine there are some cases where any normal person would feel compelled to object to certain writings... but on the little shit that is just a person speaking their mind... what's the point?

it's almost as if let's say, I make a lot of comments about Mariah Carey being a sleezy fat buffet-raiding hoebag... if you don't agree with me, that's fabulous!!! if you think I'm being mean to the (overpaid bitchy slut of a whore) pop-star, and it makes me a bad person for doing so... what good is it for you to tell me to leave poor poor (outlandishly obnoxious behavior for someone who mostly sounds like a dolphin when she sings or a truck stop chain smoker when she speaks) Mariah alone? Hearing from some random person defending the civil rights of (which by the way when you go out in public dressed the way she does, it just screams for someone to make a comment) a person they don't even personally know just really fuels my fire to do it all the more.

or if someone wants to move somewhere... why does it become public debate?

I dunno. I don't mind when people disagree with me. in fact, most times I welcome the difference of opinions. but when those different opinions turn into mean words that lay blame and start claiming rights and wrongs.... I just have to wonder what good that does.


oh well. my thoughts are all over the place right now. Maybe I was just looking for a good way to sneak in some mariah-bashing, and I tried to guise it as some deep thought. I'm thinking so, cause once I got in my fair share of bashing, I kinda ran out of steam on whatever point I was trying to make.


and maybe that's the ticket, you know? if everyone just took a few minutes a day to rip on Mariah, there'd be less fighting? I know I sure feel better! well, except for still wanting the italian ice. best get on that before I keep typing more dribble.

Here we go again

... or should I say there HE goes again....


Troy is off for another few days. It is now 5:18am, and I just gave him a kiss goodbye as he's heading to the airport. (yes.. he's driving himself... there's no way rhena and I were going to become functional this early to drive him to the airport.)

He's off to miami to meet up with the boss from the new(old) job. Oh? didn't I tell you? yeah... he quit the new job that caused him to be gone 2 weeks, and is back at the old place. the good news is that he ended up getting a raise by coming back, and I got a shitload of household labor-type tasks done when he was gone.

I think he's hoping I'll mow the lawn again.... the 'timing' of these trips seems to be right on the money with when the green monster in the back needs to be tamed. just kidding, mom and dad.... he just mowed on friday, and will be back this thursday... I will NOT be mowing the lawn during this trip.

yesterday, or I guess I should say over the weekend, we had a nice memorial day. Sunday troy and I spent a good deal of time reflecting on all of the men and women who have served in our nation's military. We spoke of what a mind-fuck serving can be, and how depending on the time and branch that you serve, you may never be the same person again after leaving.


I'm thankful for the marine I married, and thankful for my Dad, who also did his time for Uncle Sam. I appreciate everyone through the years that have sacrificed either part or all of their lives so that I may sleep easy tonight as an American citizen. I also respect all of the families and loved ones that stood by their soldiers' decisions to serve. You know the saying that it takes a village, right? well... for all the brothers, sisters, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters and friends who selflessly chose to support their soldier instead of saying "no... don't do it" ... thank YOU also for helping make the wheel go round.

So yesterday, today, and everyday.... we here at the Fever say you are NOT forgotten. Past and present, and especially for the future... you are appreciated and respected. I know I sure as hell salute you. OOOOO-RAH!

I've got a secret!

ok.... so wanna know what it is?



here goes.




I'm not really a bitch.



ok, ok... shut the hell up. seriously.... c'mon... STOP LAUGHING FOR CHRISSAKES!!!!!!



I mean, I really am a bitch, and given the right blend of hormonal imbalance, I can definitely make a regular bitch look like a soft rabbit napping....


but in real life... I'm not always a bitch.


In fact... for the most part of the day, I'm a big ball of lovey mush. I blame Rhena, actually.... she tends to have this way about her that makes me forget about why I'm pissed off or why I'm not in anything BUT a good mood.

case in point... prior to this weekend, I had been feeling a bit on the funky side. out of it, if you will. disconnected. I resolved to stop trying to go go go and be around and be a part of what everyone else was doing, and just kind of relax and let the weekend, as well as my husband and daughter... just kinda soak back into my life.

well, it seems to have worked, cause tonight, as we were saying prayers.... I sat in the rocker holding my boogie for a good ten minutes in silence just smiling. I breathed in her freshly bathed head and listened to her just laying still in my arms. Although she said nothing... I heard SO MUCH. as I looked in her eyes, I heard laughter and love, and hope and promises.


and I kept smiling. No disconnection, no discombobulation... just me, her and ten minutes of silence. Of course, at that point, she farted.... because she truly IS my daughter, and no moment can ever be TOO sweet in our lives.

but it WAS sweet. because it's her, and it's how we roll. but symbolically speaking, it really got me thinking of how things are in real life. sometimes you just gotta let go of the stinky stuff, you know?

I dunno. I guess the bottom line is that my arms are only so big, and when it comes down to it, I'd much rather be holding on to my sweet baby fart machine than on to a bunch of drudgery, drama, and bitchiness.

so I guess what you as a reader need to take out of my little self-discovery here is that if you have any bad news to give me... you're best off giving it to me during Rhena's awake hours. Without my little suger-cup-rosey-pants to distract and brighten my mood, you could face the dangers of a beast likened to Godzilla on steroids with underwear chafing a hemorrhoid.

Out and About

so today boogie and I went downtown for some culture. Last spring I got into the habit of trying to check out culture-like shit here in Charlotte, so I thought it was time to kick that back into gear again.


Last week, we had our strawberry outing (which, by the way... one of the pictures I took from that day was featured in today's newspaper... and yes.. we bought 5 copies of the paper, thank you very much!)


anyways.. this week, boogs and I headed to Discovery Place, to check out the Dead Sea Scrolls. we never got to see them when my folks were here for easter, so since the exhibit is in its last few days, I wanted to get off my ass and get down to see them.


it was very cool. The exhibit itself was very informative, and I found it to be highly interesting... not just from a historical and scientifical standpoint, but also from a religious sense of awe. To be in the presence of artifacts so old, and to read some of the translations from these biblical doctrines... well, it was quite moving. Rhena was a peach and very well behaved the entire 3 hours we were at the museum.

I dunno. it's hard to explain how great I feel when I take rhena to an exhibit as rare as the Dead Sea Scrolls. I mean, it's not like I've been scouring museums for rare digs and shit... but I guess all of these little outings I do with her are very cool to me in so many ways. Mostly, because I have the power to share knowledge with her. I know for damn ass sure I don't have all the answers, but I have been able to show her places that DO have answers.

I know I can definitely thank my parents, for when I was a kid, we were ALWAYS going, seeing and doing. museums, day trips, even historical shit while on a summer vacation. I appreciate all those years of exploration... for they must have shaped me into the adventurous person I find myself to be today. And I hope the same for Rhena. that she learns to ask "what else" and seek out all that is available to her.

so anyways... it's late and I'm rambling. today was a good day, though. We got out of the house.. we got some culture... even got a few loads of laundry done. To quote another cultural icon... Col. John "Hannibal" Smith, from the A-team...

"I love it when a plan comes together"...

yeah... I went there.

ok.

I HAD to do it.


see that bandwagon? yup. me. on it.



over at Sweet Juniper, I read about and threw in my submission for the world's shittiest mix tape.


of COURSE, after I layed down my fresh beats in their comments, I read more rules, so I had no idea there was not supposed to be a theme, or that I was supposed to find links to the mp3s.

I must say, however.. I'm glad I went with the theme. finding five random bad songs is one thing, but to find 5 bad songs that are all in one genre or have that teen-aged sense of PURPOSE (however misguided and falling short).. well, that just makes for super-bad. You KNOW my ass was having a hard time keeping it to five songs.... I could fill hours and hours with crappy misguided music.


Rhena's finally starting to wake up, so I'll have to edit this post later to add in my mp3s... but here's my submission:


Cze-Johnson Fever's "Hangin Tough in the Suburbs of Jersey" Mix Tape

Track 1 - Ice Ice Baby, by Vanilla Ice (1990)

Track 2 - Parents Just Don't Understand, by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince (1988)

Track 3 - Treat 'Em Right, by Chubb Rock (1991)

Track 4 - Rump Shaker, by Wreckx-N-Effect (1992)

Track 5 - Baby-Baby-Baby, by TLC (1992)



Bonus Track (not on my official submission) - I Get Around, by TuPac (1993)





so tell me readers.... what would YOUR shitty mix tape have???



____________


edit: so they recently threw a new rule into the mix... the songs have to suck even while you're drunk. yes. you KNOW I could do this all day.....


anyways... my new submission, based on the new rules:

Cze-Johnson Fever's "Making the Drunk Unborn Cry For Mercy" Mix:

track 1 - Mexican Radio - Wall of Voodoo

track 2 - Rico Suave - Gerardo

track 3 - I'm Your Lady - Celine Dion

track 4 - Barbie Girl - Aqua

track 5 - Miss me Blind - Culture Club

bonus track - I want a New Drug - Huey Lewis and the News


I'll be slowly adding links to the songs for your own listening displeasure. you know... in between making sure Rhena isn't stabbing herself with sharp objects.

Hmmm

you ever have one of those days/weeks where you have a ton of shit going on, but when people ask you what you've been up today, you kinda blank out and tell them nothing much?


I mean.. I KNOW I've been doing shit... just seems like it's pretty uneventful stuff. you know... stuff like killing fireants, paying bills, cleaning. boring, everyday kind of stuff that fills up the day but leaves you sorta empty?

I imagine there's some celebrity out there that needs a good ass slap... or at least a nice dose of smack talk from yours truly... but again... I got nothin.

I DID, however, finally figure out what the prizes for Cze-Bingo will be... so I can finally begin to do that. Originally I was going to make a CD of some sorts... but alas.. I knew I needed something grander. something a little more... STUPID. if I can get my materials this week, I'll be sending them out early next week.

well, Troy's about to head off to work, so I'm going to be a good wifey and make him a latte. I just can't resist being nice to him when he's got a dress shirt and slacks on.


peace out!

better mood

(FYI... this is NOT an update to the Bowel Crisis 2006.... unfortunately, my colon is still full of rock-hard pebbly shit, and is not making any overtures of a grand exit any time soon. Though thanks for the suggestions. I'm thinking of hitting up Starbucks for a double espresso prune latte??)


This post is actually about me getting out of the funk I've been in.


You may not know this, but I've been in a piss-poor mood this week. Rotten. Spoiled. just plain FUGLY.


I attribute it to hormones, to Troy being gone, to having a way-lame mother's day, and just a shit week on top of it. I can't shit, I've been crampy, and I've been trying to clean my house and paint and get shit done before troy gets home, but by the time Rhena goes to bed, I'm too tired to do too much, and damn all those season finales that are JUST so much more interesting than scrubbing my floors! (and while I'm at it... can I get a HOO-fucking-RAY that DENNY is now finally DEAD???)


ok. so me. pissy.


but today I'm better.


Today Troy comes home, and he's bringing with him some sort of surprise for me. He told me what STORE he bought the presents in, but not what all he got me. Not the same as a box of See's candies.. but I'm thinking they'll be better for my figure, anyway.

so knowing that there's an end in sight to the single-parent days... I'm in a better mood. YES... he'll have to go back for probably another THREE weeks next time... but the point is that he's on his way home today.

And really... other than the standard inability to take a good crap... what do I have to bitch about? some women have their husbands gone for MONTHS at a time.

and BOOGIE! I have BOOGIE! We went to a local farm the other day and picked strawberries... and while I have to say that the day itself was fun, and the berries were delicious... NOTHING makes me smile more than looking at some of the pictures I took that day.

so my dear readers... on this fabulous friday... I inform you that I am hereby removing the stick from my ass. I ALSO hope to soon be removing the SHIT from my ass... but for now... stickage is gone.


If you have a stick troubling you or know someone with a stick problem... might I suggest you direct them to the pictures below??? They really work wonders.


Happy friday, Gang!

________________________

on our way!

that's a LOT of strawberries to pick!

my own little strawberry shortcake

footloose and fancy free

not bad for an hour's work with a 1 1/2 year old!

Dear Ronald-

I'm sorry, but our relationship is over.


You used to be THERE for me! I mean.. I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but we had this agreement... and yesterday.... you broke it. You left me... and no action whatsoever. I mean... I have NEEDS, you know!


You're just not worth the aches and pains if I'm not getting what I truly need out things... and I'm sorry, but you really let me down.


NO MORE will I go to you when I need you. NO MORE will I proudly exclaim how good you are behind closed doors. I have been let down, and I just can't continue with this masochistic behavior if I'm the only one holding up my end of the deal.


From now on... when I need to take a good healthy shit... I'm going to Bojangles.


It's over, Ronald. over.


no longer yours,
Carrie

on a day like today

The first time ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave

To the dark and the empty skies, my love,

To the dark and the empty skies.

The first time ever I kissed your mouth

And felt your heart beat close to mine

Like the trembling heart of a captive bird

That was there at my command, my love

That was there at my command.

And the first time ever I lay with you

I felt your heart so close to mine

And I knew our joy would fill the earth

And last till the end of time my love

It would last till the end of time my love

The first time ever I saw your face,

your face, your face, your face

How is it that one song can completely encapsulate the thoughts and feelings I have about my husband, yet still be applicable in summing my thoughts of my dear sweet baby girl? both SO different... one in a romantic love way, the other in a rendered helpless with awe of a human life so innocent way. Yet, so very much the same in that it overwhelms me with joy that could truly fill the earth.


I guess it might just be one of those things that only a mother could understand....




from everyone here at the fever.... Happy Mother's Day.

I heart party hats

ok... something has to be said about how friggin cool it is that rhena lets me put hats on her and take stupid amounts of pictures.


I really have an arsenal of pics going... wigs, sombreros, party hats, skater caps... but most are archived in the laptop... which is in oregon. Perhaps I'll bypass the typical 'year in review' stuff this year and just post all my pics of rhena in hats.

However.. just cause it's friday, and we get jiggy like that... here's a little something to kick off your weekend.

Viva la party hat!

Random Poop

I say random, cause my thoughts this morning really are. I say poop, cause I have to. (just in case you wanted to know)



Today we're off to get boogie's hair cut. I think it's high time we saw her eyes again.

gotta go to the post office.


Troy scared the SHIT out of me last night when he called at 12:59 to discuss the season finale of the office. except he didn't really scare the shit OUT of me. (see first sentence) The time zone thing threw me for a loop, though, and I freaked out with the late night jingle.

I dreamt last night (and actually WOKE UP because of it) that my character in Urban Dead was under attack by a group of zombies. I *almost* came downstairs to login and check things out. ALMOST. apparently my bed is too comfotable for even zombies.

why is it that I get a limit increase on my credit card the day AFTER most websites offer free express upgrades on mother's day gifts? I'm not even going to discuss how much I just spent so shit can get to my and troy's mom on time. the good news is that what we got them from rhena was on sale, so it's kinda like we bought it last week and had it shipped regularly. kinda.

The office??? my jaw is still hanging. good episode.

tonight is bath night. for rhena.. not me. that's about how deep the excitement rolls in these parts.

I still need to take a crap, so I guess since rhena's starting to wake up, I'll get her and have some coffee. nothing says gimmee clean pipes like a good ole cup o' joe.


-- have a great day, gang! it's friday! whe-hoo! get your bath on!

To Be Fair

well, yesterday was interesting. I enjoyed taking the time to think about each of my commenters.. and while I may not have come up with anything too profound... it was a good exercise for me to really take stock of my friends and family.


To be fair today.. I have decided that I will answer all of the questions I asked of my commenters yesterday. some of the questions were deep.. some not as much. But once again.. the brain being on the soggy side today.. it gives me something to write about.


Before I go on, though... I must call special attention to the fact that TROY... my HUSBAND... actually visited my blog last night!!!

Yes... in the nearly TWO YEARS I've been keeping this thing... last night was his first unsolicited visit and comments. Of COURSE, his first comment was gay in a he-thinks-he's-Randy-Jackson kind of way... but hey... That's my baby, and I love him.


ok... so on with answering the questions I asked of everyone else:

I asked Jenni: If money were no object... what would you do as a career?

I think in part I'm doing it right now. It's taken me 2 years (almost) to come to terms with being a stay at home mom, but I'm definitely becoming more comfortable in this role, and have begun to value what I do around here.

But other than that... I would definitely do event planning. I'm thinking more on the wedding/parties kind of thing, but hey... if someone wanted me to plan an awards dinner, I'd do that too. someday. maybe. if it's still what I want to do when it's time for me to do it.


I asked Ferg: What's one thing you could change about your life?

She actually took my answer, sort of. if there's one thing I could change.. it would be that my Gramma Czernikowski was alive long enough to meet Troy. I'd say Rhena, too, but I don't want to get greedy. Gram always wanted me to settle down with a nice man, and although Troy isn't Polish... I know she would have been so happy for me to have found him. I'm sure her soul knows my happiness now, but that would have been nice to have her at least meet the man who is everything I want out of a partner in life.


I asked Derek: Dude... what was UP with that whole Harry-Krishna episode?

You know how we all have phases in our lives where we're searching for answers? It wasn't so much WHERE my brother was looking for answers , as I was upset and worried that he was that unsettled. I've said before how much I love my brother. His innate ability to shit in cheerios and everything... he truly is a part of me, and it hurts me when he hurts. Granted, he's also pretty stoic, so I wouldn't know when something's bugging him unless he wanted me to know.. so I guess I'll 'answer' this question by letting him know that I DO want to know. cause I do care. and that's enough about that.


I asked my Dad: What is one thing you wish you told Gram and Granpa before they died?

I could easily answer this question in regards to my grandparents... but I was asking my father in terms of what he regrets not telling HIS PARENTS. This is a difficult question for me to answer, as both of my parents are still alive. Without a doubt, I try to make it a point to not let things go unsaid... but just in case I haven't said it enough, or lately or at all...

Mom and Dad... I want to be just like you when I grow up, and I can only hope my children see me in the same eyes as I see you both.


I asked Jody: If you could land the dream role... what would it be, and would it be theater or big screen?

Well, the last acting class I had was in 9th grade, so I'm a BIT out of my league here. I've also never had a dance class in my life, but for me? without a doubt, I would SO be Clara in The Nutcracker. definitely on stage, too.


I asked Kelli : When all is said and done... what is the ONE trait about yourself that you hope Kendal will also possess?

Well.. it'd be silly for me to answer in terms of Kendal.. being that she's Kelli's daughter... though I DO love how Kelli responded. For me.. in terms of Rhena... I would hope that she will always be able to see the goodness in our world. Too many people see only the bad and ugly in our world, and every day, in every person, I see SO MUCH goodness. I *DO* believe in hope, and I'm firmly convinced there are enough good souls in our world to keep things running... I just pray that Rhena will be able to find the goodness, too.


I asked Greek Chickie: What is stopping you from your dreams?

My answer to this question for me is most definitely myself. I know I hold the key to actually figuring out what my dreams are, and then the drive to go about achieving them. Right now in my life, I am VERY CONTENT. and sure, a bundle of money can make me happy as a pig in shit... it won't do much by ways of answering any dreams I may or may not have. For now, my dream is to be happy and balanced in life, and I'm working on it. I definitely feel I'm on my way there.


I asked Bridget: Where would you want the next 'reunion' to be, if it means you would be there?

This is, of course.. in regards to my mom's group. Our first and last 'big' meeting was in Chicago... and Bridget was unable to attend. If I'm being perfectly honest... Chicago was fine because it was centrally located, but I am not interested in doing a tourist city with these girls again. There was talk of vegas, and I'm SO not interested in vegas. not with these girls. Vegas is the most fake, obnoxious, get drunk and party place I have ever been. These women are very REAL women, who deal and help each other cope with everyday issues. I really don't see myself 'clubbing' with them.

I dunno. it's hard to explain. I guess I'm just thinking that if I'm going to go somewhere to be with them, I'd like for it to be in their natural environment so i can get to know them better.... not in some destination place. ummm.. still not coming out right. ok. how's this.

When traveling with someone I already know really well, I feel more inclined to allow myself to absorb the place I'm visiting. When traveling with someone I may have only virtually met, I would prefer to take that time together to get to know that person better. While the trip to Chicago gave me a few opportunities to get to know the girls a little better, I'm disappointed with the lack of quality time I felt I had with each of these amazing women. But maybe that's what happens when you have big groups like that. I've never been one to run in large packs, so who knows.


____________

SO that was it. Troy, as I said earlier... left a comment last night, so I suppose I could do 'his'.

1. He NEVER ceases to amaze me. Every time I think I have him figured out, he manages to surprise me. He truly makes me feel like the most special woman in the world.

2. "If" as sung by Jane Monheit

3. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear." -- John 4:18

4. When are you coming home, baby? XXOO



ok.... that's all for me today, gang. have a good one!

Crackers

so... I'm feeling a little braindead today.... so I'm going to host an open-mic day here at the Fever.

Well, not necassarily open-mic... just for once I'm gonna make some shit about YOU, my reader.. instead of yours truly and the mini-poop machine.


So thanks to Gina... I'm opening up the comments for y'all to find out what I think about you. here's the rules:

If you comment to this post:

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.

2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.

3. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.

4. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

5. If I do this for you, you must (please) post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.



I'm even gonna throw you a bone... you don't HAVE to post this on your blog if you don't want to. That's right. you get to hear what the fat lady thinks, and it'll only cost you a comment.

Will you dare?

Step right up!

Missing You

no... this is not a tribute to 80's one-hit wonder John Waite.... nor is this a tribute to Troy. I mean, c'mon people... he's only been gone a day and a half!


This *IS* however, an open-ended letter to pretty much all of my friends.

I miss you.


I'm sorry I haven't been in touch lately. MONTHS have gone by since I've written or called. I've missed birthdays, anniversaries and one-year milestones of surviving parenthood.


I'm angry at myself, especially when I resolved to make my friends feel appreciated this year. I highly doubt lack of communication ranks high on the list of what to expect when expecting appreciation.


I've been meaning to ask you how it feels to be pregnant again, but whoops... you've already given birth.


I've been meaning to tell you how often I think about you, but then I forget to say something.

How *IS* the new job/baby/medication/house/boyfriend/car????

and as unbelievable as this may sound... I really do care. cause deep down I really do miss you. I miss our talks, our laughs, the ways you inspire me, the way we can be bored together, or talk about everything and nothing.

I DO have so much to share, but I've been tired and lazy... so I'm sorry.

It's not because you don't have a blog... though if you DID, I would probably only comment a fraction of the times I had something to say. Again... I've been lazy. so I'm sorry. so sorry.


Because I miss you. I really do.






__________

side note... THANK you to all of you who continue to stop by and read about my life. Your hits and comments mean so much... and while they haven't made me be a better friend towards others... they remind me that it's time for me to pay my dues. so thank you.


XXOO

Party Time!

Whe-hooo... Troy's gone.... gonna have a parrrrrrrty!


Just kidding, though we *ARE* going to my neighbor's kid's first birthday party today. I guess that counts for something, right?



Anyho... Boogs and I are on our own for the next two weeks. I'm a little bummed, of course, cause I actually LIKE troy, so he will definitely be missed. I'm more sad thinking about how much HE's going to miss Rhena, though... She's entered into this little time warp of change lately. I mean... this kid wakes up from a nap, and she's doing some crazy new trick. She's still not saying very many words, but she's really begun to TRY to say words. For example.. when we say "CORN", she says "caaah".... still not quite there yet, but I feel we're on the verge of a verbal breakthrough.


I know some of you are all "don't worry, it'll happen"... but you have to understand... this is MY KID. if you have ANY clue about me, it's a given that I talk. A LOT. I mean A LOT, A LOT. so to have rhena be so content to imitate Pebbles Flintstone... it makes me wonder. Granted, I know in her way she's talking, but ask my mom and she'll tell you I was talking at an insanely early age. (go figure, right?) But all that doesn't matter. I think she's on the verge of saying real words... and more importantly, she's healthy and happy. life is good.


Yesterday was my class' first Holy Communion. I was so proud of them... they were so cute in their little dresses and suits!!! One of my boys had on this white suit. He's a little on the chubby side, so it was just adorable to see him all pimped out in white. TOTALLY looking like a little Don Corleone if there was ever one. But the kids did great. they remembered to bow and to do the sign of the cross, and well.. they done good. Tomorrow night is our last class together, and while I'm looking forward to the summer break, I will definitely miss the little shits. It was a GREAT experience to be with these kids this year, and my partner and I have decided to team up again and teach next year. so look forward to more Church Lady! hah!


speaking of Church lady... by request... here's the outfit I wore.

Annnd, since Rhena's napping and my tea is still hot (wild and crazy livin la vida bachelorette... I know) here's a pic of the Boog. We went to the park yesterday for more of that "family time", and I snapped a few of the fun. Gotta love slide static. classic.

and on a final note... Friday was more than a fiesta for two of my friends.... Two girls from my mom group had their babies... so congrats to Maria, who delivered Rachel... and congrats to Jessica... who brought Bella into the world! may health and happiness be with them through their lives!

XXOO

bah!

ok... I'm posting from my new digs here in troy's office, and I have to say, it's under much protest.


As previously mentioned... he leaves for Portland for 2 weeks this weekend. well luckyu me, not only do I get to go without my husband, but I'm also losing the laptop.

SIGH!


GROAN!


GRUMBLE!!!



Look... I'm gonna miss troy and everything, but typing from his office BLOWS. He's got this STUPID ergonomic keyboard which I HAAAAATE (confession... I type pretty fast, but I'm a hunt-and-pecker... hee hee hee pecker!) anyways... this ergo shit is slowing me down and cramping my style (AND FINGERS)!!!


none of my links are on this computer, nor are any of my usernames and passwords, so it's like starting all over. in ergonomic hell.


none of my pictures are on this computer, so no zoo pics until I get the laptop back tonight. I DO, however, finally have access to my dad's copies of the Easter pics, so here are a few of the boog. a few weeks late. however, it's about right on time for me.. what with the ergonomic delay and all.


Happy cinco de yo yos, kids. be careful with the tequila, and for God's sake.. take a cab home, ok?


here's some pics.... enjoy!

grand entrance... Easter morning

.

Perhaps the hat is a squeak too big

.

Getting shoes on...

.

Three Times a Lady (Mom was caught off guard.. sorry, Mom!)

.

And Finally... Cze-Johnson Fever in full effect... Me, Rhena, and Troy

Hoo-dee-hoo, let's go to The Zoo

No... I'm not trying to imitate Dr Suess or anything... just letting y'all know that tomorrow, the Johnsons are going to the zoo.


by choice.


I know, I know... me... live animals.... live animal SHIT everywhere... doesn't really add up. HOWEVER.... Troy's leaving in a few days, and I'm hell-bent on us doing something "FAMILY-ORIENTED". you know. together. as a FAMILY.


I'd much rather go to the aquarium, but the closest is in like Myrtle Beach, which is like 3 hours away. (all other NC aquariums are near the outer banks, which is 4-6 hrs away... I think.)


so today, we enjoyed some together time at home depot and Lowe's, where we looked at paint. and lighting fixtures. and weed wackers. and bricks. Good wholesome fun, I tell you!

Afterwards, we went for ice cream, which was very much needed by EVERYONE. Right now, Boogie's taking a nap, and I'm thinking about how I don't feel like cooking dinner. actually, I'm thinking Subway sounds just about right... it's got that perfect blend of lunch meat and blandness (with salt and mayo, of course) that I think hits the spot on a hot day like today.


so there you have it!

I bought an outfit (pants and shirt) at target yesterday... including shoes. They're PINK! but hooray! new shoes! (No... I'm not going to wear them to the zoo tomorrow.) I got them so I look 'purty' for my kids' first Communion this Saturday. That's right... my little shits in my CCD class are making their first Communion. I'm really excited for them... they're going to look adorable in their little dresses and suits! Makes me even more excited to think that NEXT year, my very own Godchild, Dara, will be making HER first Communion. seriously. it feels like just the other day I was dripping snot on her from being so choked up with love on her Baptism.


well... it sounds like the boogster is stirring, and subway is a'calling.


Have a great day everyone... I'll catch you when we return (hopefully unscathed) from the zoo! Viva la vida Family!

DOH!!!

ok... I'm a moron.


for some reason, I think I carried when I should have tallied, or whatever, but I screwed up my dates, and TODAY is also QUINN'S b-day!


I've known this SOB for probably too long, but he's a stand-up guy, and I wish him all the best on his birthday today.


Please extend your wishes to the birthday boy, Bill.


peace out!

The News

so I was watching the news last night. They were showing coverage from around the nation regarding yesterday's demonstrations and rallies regarding the immigration laws.

Ok... those people all wore white shirts... mexico boycotted american products (which I honestly still don't understand... cause you know.. everyone wants to move here, but apparently the USA sucks?) blahbitty blah... all different little snippits and clips and related features.


Now... I'm not going to go touting my opinions on the whole immigration thing, because I really am pretty middle-of-the-road with this. I definitely feel that our country was founded on being the land of opportunity and home of the free... but I certainly don't believe that shit SHOULD be free here. Yes. come to America. work your ass off. make a good living, make a new start for yourself... and to the people who are trying to do that... rock the fuck on. What I DO disagree with are people coming into this country (whether through our borders or through birth) and assuming that because they are here, their lives will be subsidized by the rest of the working public. And I disagree with employers hiring cheap labor because they can pay their hires under the table and avoid taxes thus cutting their bottom dollar, thus increasing their profits.

Anyways... if you want to be here, then cool. get a job and try to survive.... just like the rest of us have been doing for the past several hundred years. If you're an employer... stop trying to buck the system. Yes, we're happy that our dinners and lawns and clothing can be purchased for just slightly less dollars than down the street from corporation emporium... but let's face it.. the only ones really profiting here are those employers.... and when it comes time to draw social security, am I really going to remember saving $5 a month on landscaping?

anyways... it's a complex subject to say the least. However... back to my reason for posting... in the spirit of yesterday's demonstrations etc... our local news channel showed a segment on Sham Marriages. Their intent was to talk about marriages formed for the sake of obtaining money in reward for marrying someone so they may obtain a green card. Ok, I get it... topic is immigration shit, so they're running the piece on green card marriages.


Well the shit of it is that somewhere after about 5 minutes, they totally went astray, talking about how the federal government can investigate any marriage they believe to be fraudulent. Let me tell you kiddies.. this shit REALLY got me thinking. I mean... they're saying how if the feds have suspicion that the marriage was formed for reasons other than traditional, they can investigate. Now being a human of SOMEWHAT reasonable intelligence, I'm going to assume they were REFERRING to insurance scams, and green card workings, and I imagine a slew of other no-nos. However, they didn't say that, and they kept referring to non-love-based marriages throughout the rest of the segment.

So I ask my dear federal government and its fine investigators... how's the case coming with Tom and Katie?? I mean Kate??? Surely the attempt to sway hollywood ratings must be considered fraudulent? AT the VERY least... can you send some of your X-Files dudes in to check on shit???? God knows WHAT kind of intergalactic crap is going on in THAT house.


And speaking of FEDS.... SOMEBODY tell me that if sham marriages are illegal, then our dear fertile friends, the Federlines are due for a lock-up soon??? please? anybody? Shams? anyone??


Anyways... I'm convinced the news is just stupid sometimes. The way they try to sensationalize every damned little thing. You'd think they could have spent that 10 minute segment a little better by at least telling everyone that today is Greek Chickie's BIRTHDAY.

oh well.. they didn't, so I am. go wish her a happy birthday, and have yourself a sham-free day. after all.. the feds could be watching!

April showers bring May CHANGES?

ok... that's really a lame title, I know.. but it's quarter to nine on a monday night... whaddaya expect?


So I CAN'T believe MAY is here! dude! MAY! not that anything spectacular happens in may.. just crazy that we're already into the 5th month of the year.


SO troy's last day of work is tomorrow. He'll have wednesday through friday off... then Sunday he's off to Portland for a few weeks. definitely excited for him to start this new chapter in his professional life. and yeah.. all the benefits and him working downtown are cool, too. and yeah... I'm already thinking of all the new people we can invite to this year's Christmas Social! HAH!

This friday we're going to a cinco de mayo street party. That ought to be fun. I'm really liking our neighborhood (you know... minus the crazy drama we hear about here and there) so I'm looking forward to just hanging out with the neighbors, having a few drinks and getting my munch on.


We've also decided to start looking for some new furniture. Rhena has recently been able to get her leg-slash-foot up and over the top crib rail... and while she hasn't actually tried to get OUT of the crib, we're thinking it's time to start thinking about having her move into a big girl room.

Now if anyone knows anything about me, it's that when it comes to rhena, I'm all about slow and gradual changes. SO this week, we're going to go look at paint colors together. Mainly because Memorial day is coming up, and troy will be in Oregon, so we want to pick out colors together this week while he's actually in town. Oh.. I suppose I don't need to say it, but memorial day = sales galore, so we're thinking we can get some kickass deals on paint.... so we're going to see what we can find. Anyways.. the goal is to have rhena in a big girl room by the time she's two, so our long slow summer project will be getting said room together and decorated.

It's actually exciting. I mean, when I was pregnant with rhena.. we decorated our nursery in Reno, but it was just for a random baby.. my monster growing inside. We really had no idea of it would be a boy or a girl, so we picked gender nuetral everything. Now... having known our sweet baby for a year and a half... we're buying something that's ALL HER. So it's exciting!! I'm thinking blues and whites and pinks, with bugs and flowers . Not TOO girly.. but definitely with a delicate and gentle side. Just like Rhena. so again.. it's exciting.


I think we might paint our dining room, too, depending on how much paint costs. Again... just outward reflections of the changes we're feeling inside. Like.. I'm FEELING more settled into this home and community, so I want our house to reflect that commitment. with color. with decorative shit. well.. not shit... but including clocks, we probably have less than twenty things hanging on all of the walls in this entire house. and that includes the tool rack in the garage!

Now.. trust me.. this house is NOT going to become full of 'stuff'. Having moved approximately 6 times in the past 8 years... troy and I have learned to minimize things down, and i actually kind of like it like that... but definitely a little color couldn't hurt.


alright. this post is pretty lame, and I'm really just watching tv, so my thoughts are all over the place. perhaps tomorrow I'll actually go to the downstairs computer and post the pictures from Easter. you know.. cause it's may and everything.


peace out!

How about that?

huh! so apparently hockey's going on!


Three cheers for my Devils, who SWEPT the rangers in the first round of the finals.


but seriously... I'm so out of this season, I'm in left field. (get it? cause like left field is BASEBALL, and I'm talking about hockey??)

yeah.


oh well. busy day today. I'll check in later.

Cracks in Stepford

so I'm always joking about life here in Stepford. How all the mommies look perfectly coifed and children dressed to the nines, and people with their well-manicured lawns and verrrry expensive luxury SUVs.

It's a little intimating to someone like me, who happens to be... shall I say... REAL?


I don't wear makeup every day. shit.... I put it on MAYBE once every other week?


I can't remember the last time I wore an outfit that required ironing. Or at least actually IRONED the outfit I was wearing (cause you KNOW there have been times I SHOULD have ironed my pants before church but didn't...)


anyways.. the point is.. when it comes to appearances, the folks here in my little version of Stepford really have the knack for looking Polished. (that's PAH-lished, Daddy.. not POLE-ished)


However, the longer I'm here, and the more I'm getting to know my neighbors.. the more and more I'm seeing that some appearances only go so far as their front doors.


I'm not going to spill all the gory details, but let's just say that today brought our awareness of the cracks in Stepford appearances to a whole new level.


While I find it SOMEWHAT comforting to know that other people have real live problems... I'm saddened by how easily our 'friends' hide their issues. (big, huge, fucking SHOCKING shit kind of issues) ....Makes me wonder what else they're hiding, and would I REALLY want them watching Rhena?

call me crazy, but I just feel a little better knowing my friend (who told me not to worry about Rhena picking her nose, because she still picks hers too) is watching Rhena versus the friend with the pottery-barn-polo-designer-house. Cause while rhena might stumble upon some old green crunchies at the one friend's house... who knows what she might find in the other. And that's just me being real.

Fearing Kansas

ok... so last night was one of those dreams where it's a big ole mix of crazy, surreal, and very deep rooted fears.


Last night I dreamt I moved to Kansas.


Apparently, I was still in high school, and I was serving on either the President or some Congressman's Political team. SO our task was to go to this high school, and attend some ralley-slash-fashion show, and my job was to stand there looking smart with my clipboard. Some weird guy from a Polish Airline kept hitting on me.


After the fashion show, we went to some nightclub, where the rest of my team was making the rounds. I remember going around this main circle of a dancefloor, checking in with each of the team... and hearing arguments of which section of the club was the coolest to stand by. Stranger still was that the walls of each area of the dancefloor housed hundreds of GAMES... like a toy store. I dunno. weird.


so next thing I know, I'm eating some popcorn, and the clublights turn on, and a guy starts vacuuming. by now it's like WAY late-slash-early in the morning, and we still have to get home.


I end up getting driven home with 2 other girls, cause they're on my way. Our driver starts off sounding like Danny DeVito, but later turns into Jeff Bridges' clone. the weird thing is that at this point, I really hadn't been outside there in Kansas, and while I have an address of where I now live, I have not been to the house.


so the driver takes the other two girls home first, then he starts to drive me home. by now the sun is coming up, and I'm getting very upset that I have to be at school in a few hours, and we're driving out to the middle of nowhere, and I have no idea where exactly it is that I live. Driver dude tells me I'm in the next town up.


so we drive and we drive, and there is NOTHING but NOTHING to see. on each side of the road, all I see is fields for miles and miles. and miles. Then haystacks. Seeing the haystacks freaked the shit out of me, because apparently in my dream I'd never seen real hay before. In real life, of course I have.. but never in the quantities that were in my dreams. we actually went through a tunnel made from hay.

all the whole time, the driver keeps going faster and faster and we keep driving and driving, but still no sign of the next town up. I finally ask him through tears where exactly do I live, and he says about another 45 minutes away. At this point, we finally pass a house, but that's all it was.. just a house in the middle of nowhere.


Another 20 minutes of driving very fast, and going by these weird side-of-the-road exhibits that's supposed to be good for the morale of the citizens, and we troll up on some house. It's not mine, but Jeff Bridges dude had to make a pitstop. We go inside, and the set-up was just like my late Grandma Czernikowski's house, except this house was inhabited by a woman that used to frequent a bar I worked at in seattle. This woman, in my dream, was apparently waiting for a dose of some kind of drug that Jeff Bridges dude was giving her.

Next thing I know, everyone except me is high as a kite, and Jeff Bridges dude and I are finally taking me home on some motorcycle. AT this point, the details are very fuzzy; all I remember is that we were going like 120 mph, and I almost flew away. weird. I woke up a little while later... having never really making it to 'my house'.


What's the point of all of this? beats me... though it did really remind me how afraid I was when I did go to Kansas a few years ago on business for Amazon.


I clearly remember the anxiety of being on the road, alone.. not really sure where I was going, and having nothing but miles and miles of fields around me. With no cell phone reception. I was tense the entire drive, with a steady stream of cold sweat and heightened alertness that would make rabbits on crack look like molasses going uphill in the winter.


Visions of rapists and murderers out there in the fields, and the Children of the Corn characters and creepies and crawlies certainly did a number on me that trip, as would happen ANY time I'm out of civilization. I just don't do so good away from buildings, people. So whether it's on a road to nowhere, out in a forest, or in the deep blue ocean... you're not going to see me there... at least not happily.

I respect the beauty of Nature, and all that happens in its naturalness and shit... but I appreciate it a hell of a lot more from the comfort of my couch, while watching Discovery Channel. where I have food. and cell phone reception.

Public Service Announcement

ok... just letting you guys know I'll be changing the looks around here very shortly. I'm still ironing out a few kinks and colors... then I'll be all set.


so be on guard... things might get funky for a little while during the changeover.



Also... due to overwhelming pressure from my neighbor... and MUCH to my chagrin... I'm going to start taking a yoga class. or Bellydancing... we're on the fence. actually... *I* don't want to do either... she's the one on the fence as to which activity we'll be doing... but yeah... I'm going to be one of THOSE moms. gag.

oh well. it could be good. Lord knows it's better than sitting around on my ass eating bon bons all day like the rest of my SAHM friends! In fact.. any increase in exercise would logically mean I can now eat even MORE bon bons. SWEET!

speaking of.. what exactly IS a bon-bon?? those are the little ice cream nuggets, right?

oh well. Happy birthday Joder-Boder... have a great time in Vegas, you lucky bizzle, you!

Pretty Thief

we have a Pretty Thief here in the house. no... not PETTY thief.. I mean pRetty thief.


it would seem as though Rhena has taken to stealing things out of my vanity drawers.


both of my brushes? gone.


toothpaste? no clue.


also notably missing are tweezers, a few things of eyeshadow, and numerous hair clips.


I sort of think it's funny, but I'm also sorta annoyed. I REALLY have no idea where she's hidden everything, so I'm doing without my daily things. In fact... this morning, I was so desperate, and running late for playgroup, that I actually ended up using a bath scrub brush to smooth my hair down somewhat. It was one of those small little hand-held jobbers with the pumice stone on the other side... you know the kind. Yes, I know.. gross... but I only used it once on my feet, so I guess I justified that it wasn't THAT bad.

seriously. who DOES that? well.. now you know. I do.


oh well.


Praying for my friend Angela today. Other friends, too... but mainly for Ang.

busy

yeah yeah yeah... so no great post from me today... yet.


places to go, food to buy, all that other happy shit in between, too.


Cze-Bingo has all the winners... I'll do a proper congrats post to Ferg and Mary when I don't have to keep telling rhena to put the toothpaste away every 2 minutes. But yes.. that means prizes are forthcoming! hooray! prizes! (shit!! prizes!!! what to do, what to do?!?!?!?)


anyways... here's a recent pic of the Boog... taken this weekend before our farewell lunch with Grandma and Granpa (Gah-cah). For such a messy child, she sure does clean up alright!

peace out, kiddies. more in a bit. I promise!

stupid blogger

this is my THIRD attempt at posting today.


see if I can get anything to publish.....


stupid blogger.

Guess Who's Back

Well, I wouldn't exactly call myself a SLIM shady.... but I do alright.


either way... I'm back on blogger.


It would appear that all the visiting to the Johnson Manor is now complete for the month.... so I expect to get back into a routine again.

I'll post more later, because there's quite a bit to post about. There's Easter pics to share, there's new toys in the house that are starting a rebellion fight in the living room... there's visits to recap and reminisce about, and there's a certain NEW JOB that Troy will be starting at soon to review as well.

Right now, however, there's a shower that needs to be taken, air conditioning guys that have to be called, thank you notes to write, congratulation cards to be sent (new baby was born to my mom-friend group yesterday morning... Welcome to the world, Georgia!) and moments of silence while I think of yet another friend having surgery today (Good luck, Kelli... my thoughts and prayers are with you!).


I also have CCD tonight, so I ought to prepare for class... and then there's the undaunting task of laundry.. but there's ALWAYS laundry.

catch you soon! and oh yeah... happy birthday to my niece, Delaney!!! my little Laney-Bird turns FIVE today. five!!! boy does time fly!

Good Friday

hey gang...


sorry I've been MIA for a while.



As previously noted, I've been having Family Invasion 2006.



Troy's folks left on wednesday and were replaced by the presence of MY folks about 9 hours later.

SO far, the visits have been wonderful. Troy's folks had a great time, and even though we didn't take a lot of pictures, will be leaving with lots of good memories.


and once MY mom and dad were acclimated, my mom got down to business prepping all of the things we're going to FEAST on for Easter. Daddy did the usual and tried to stay out of the way, and went food shopping. Today we set up the assembly line and make the pierogis. I'll report in another day with the final total, but when the Czernikowskis get together to make pierogis, it's usually on the magnitude of 20+ DOZEN at a time. booyakasha!!!


As for things in Johnson-land... things are smooth. Rhena is Rhena... what can I say other than I love my little boogie??!?!?

Troy has been interviewing for another job, and pretty much is at the point that he's waiting for an offer letter. I'm really hoping that the offer will be a good one. I saw their benefit package and nearly shit myself. It's amazing how when you go for 2 years of paying your own medical insurance, just HOW appreciative you become when you think of company sponsored insurance that INCLUDES dental and vision, and has a zero dollar deductible for only $100 a month for our FAMILY.

but the other good stuff is that Troy would be in a REAL job.... around other people... in downtown charlotte. I'm thinking taking boogie on our museum days and meeting up with daddy for lunch kind of days... like real people do. I'm thinking about how he would no longer be working an average of 80-100 hours a week.... and that in itself can make my head spin with delight.

Anyways... we're being hopeful on that.


And today for me personally is a big day. I think of Good Friday, and it marks a culmination in all I have been reflecting on the past few weeks during this Lenten season. I think of what today represents... the day that a man named Jesus was crucified to a cross and died for the sake of others. And being the little CCD teacher that I am, today means so much more, but I'm not going to turn this into a religious lesson. I know everyone has their own beliefs, and others out there can surely find error in something I say... but my point is that today.. for me.... I remember that someone gave up His life for the sake of others, and that's pretty darn huge.

So today... every though my OWN path in life has not been a shining example of humanitarianism and morality.... today marks a time when I remember that *I* am not dead yet, and every day is a new day to try again.

And today, I think of you, my blog friends.... and I am thankful for your association. I think of all of my friends who love me despite my faults, and I appreciate them. I think of SO MANY of you who have very real problems and heartaches but manage to get up each day and make another go of things.


So despite what religion you may or may not practice, today..... I wish you ALL a peaceful weekend, and that each day brings about the faith in yourself that you CAN rise above whatever beats you down, and find a way to start anew.

Oh no he Di'int.... NO Brokeback Mntn Edition

ok... it's been too long since my last edition of ONHD....


but seriously..... Bucky the cowboy from American Idol did NOT just say

"Freddie Mercury is no guy I'd like to stand behind..."



can the irony get ANY MORE obvious??????

Glutton

ok... I've mentioned before how I tend to be the glutton for punishment.


well, I've went ahead and done it again.



Today, my friends and casual readers... today... I went to WalFart. During my FREE TIME.



Now free time don't come easy in these parts, you see.... when your husband works 100+ hours a week, the only thing I can really count on each week is that I can go volunteer-teach my CCD class, and once a month I get together with my lovelies... my Bunco girls.


But outside of those things.. Troy is pretty much working. Sure, sure... I'm sure I sound like a big ole hypocrite considering I just got back from a girl's weekend in DC... but even then, mountains had to be moved and funerals had to be missed in order to make THAT happen. so trust me when I say that free time don't just come easy in these parts.


Sometimes I almost miss working full time, because I remember being able to do things like read, go out to lunch, go for a drive with my stereo BLASTING, talk about who's sleeping with who and can you believe she wore THAT to work? you know... catty shit.

I mean, overall, this is definitely the life for me, no doubt. I can't even begin to list the blessings I've found as a stay at home mom... and let's face it... looking back on my professional positions? They sucked in a lot of ways, too. Right now I have REALLY good friends that can relate to me where I'm at cause they're floating in the same damned boat down the street from me.. and did I mention just how fucking cool Rhena is, and how much fun I have spending my time with her??

but nonetheless.... every now and then.... I get an itching to have some free time. no kid, no timeline, nobody but me. So today... with Troy's folks still in town... they gladly watched the Pooper while I went and ran some errands.

It was nice to be able to drive stop get out drive stop get out drive stop get out my way through town without having to add in the unbuckling, lifting down, walking slow, hold my hand.. no no no... ok, let's go now... no no no.... no touching, that's yucky!... ok, just another minute honey... ok.. here we go.. ok, up you go, buckle up and away we go stuff that comes with going anywhere with Rhena in between each stop.

but am I on drugs???? What would make me think that going to WALMART BY MYSELF would be a GOOD idea???


I mean... that hellhole is bad enough when you have a kid, but it's almost the built in excuse cause when you have a kid, it's like you HAVE to go to walmart. Like.. yeah.. I have a kid, she needs diapers, so groan.. here we are.

And when I have Rhena, I have to admit, it's nice to snicker with her about all the rednecks that are in there, and how much we hate the place. (Yes, I KNOW Rhena still really can't talk yet, much less say the word redneck... but live with her long enough, and you'll start to think her "oiyuh doy doo dah dah muh muh gah okay!" translates roughly to "Did you see what that woman was wearing, mommy? please don't ever dress like that in public, ok?")

Without my trusty co-pilot with me today, I was left to wonder silently to myself where these people actually come from, and is it POSSIBLE to chew anything with teeth like that?

I shuddered alone as I went by the in-store nail salon as I saw seat after seat filled with fat and or homely marmy looking women getting their piggy toes touched up with what could only be a parade of pastels and gaudy painted designs for Easter Sunday.

I cringed when I saw the too-young-to-really-be-a-mother mother and child in the photo studio as she used her dirty flip flops to push her crawling child back into the floor of the photo-studio. cause the dirty floor in there must have been better than the dirty floor just two inches away in the 'main store'.


I wiggled my way through fatties in the candy aisle. and listen... I'm not bagging on fat people, I'm really not. But if YOU'RE fat, and your KID is fat... do you REALLY think they NEED their easter basket stuffed with ANOTHER bag of chocolate??? And on what planet does it seem like a good idea to ASK said fat child if you've gotten them enough candy, or if they want more? Shit like this hurts my eyes, people... it really does.


but alas.. I did what I needed to do. I got the diapers, and goodies to make baskets for all the little kiddies that will be hopping through here on Sunday. and then I beelined my ass out of there... cause if I saw one more dude with a wad of chew in his mouth, I was gonna get ill.


SO now I'm home, and my free time continues in its normal house-arrest capacity as Rhena naps. But at least the in-laws stepped out for a little bit, and it's quiet here. no nascar, and no sportscenter on the TV as I write. And that... shit... right now that just about as good as free time NOT spent in Walmart.

And the wheels go round

Day three of Racing here in the Johnson house... yippie.


not.



Well, other than the constant spew of nascar and sportscenter coming from my TV, the visit with Troy's folks is going great. I mean... I'm CRAVING to just shut the damn TV off for a little while, or put on a cooking show.... but when you put things in perspective... some annoying noise coming from the living room is far better than not enjoying your company.


And like I said, the visit is going very well. Rhena is in full happy-mode because her Grandma brought her clothes, and because her Grandpa is, well... her Grandpa. She's still a little clingy to me and Troy, but has definitely warmed up and hasn't help back on the grandparent lovin's.


Today was nice, too... Troy's folks watched Rhena so he and I could go to church by ourselves. Now, I'm a little torn on this, because I feel that since Rhena has been baptized, she should attend church, REGARDLESS of what she's actually getting out of it at this point... but I have to admit that this week was the first week in quite a while that Troy and I were actually able to fully get something out of mass, cause we weren't shushing boogie, or feeding her some trifecta of snacks.

Today was a long one, too... Palm Sunday. the Gospel is always hella long on Palm Sunday, and church was beyond the normal packed. it was like packed on crack. Oh well.. what's done is done, and Troy and I had some good quality couple time, and his folks got one-on-one time with the Boog.


This afternoon, Troy and I are going to take Rhena over to our neighborhood spring-Easter festival for a little egg-hunt action. I think the race will just be starting at that point, so not sure if the grandfolks are going to go, too.... but you know *I'm* not staying home to watch more cars.


alrighty. time for me to go downstairs and get some face time in. I just layed rhena down, but I have to visit. and I'm sure there's a pre race to watch or something. gah.


peace out..

Almost There

you ever have one of those moments (days, weeks, MONTHS???) when you feel like you're just *almost* there... but not.


yeah.. this has been one of those weeks.... I feel like I'm ALMOST where I'm supposed to be, in just about every aspect of life, but I'm just... not.


oh well.


I e-mailed my girlfriend and told her I feel like I've been running around at about 60% these past few days. It could be this dumb ass cold (pollen reaction? who knows) I've had, the fact I haven't really been sleeping very well, or... something.


I feel that perhaps change is afoot, ladies and gents. you know how dogs get weirded out before a big storm? yeah. well, I guess this old dog is feeling a little weird.


Maybe I haven't bitched about Mariah Carey enough... so my universe is slowly shifting into some weird vortex of 'off'. It';s not for the lack of FUNNY pictures of mimi, either... Mary and Cheeky were so kind as to refer me to some oh-so-tempting-trash-talking-begging-to-happen pictures of your and my favorite pop diva.

but again... I'm just... eh.

off.


but for what it's worth.. everything is going fine and dandy and all that super great shit we pride ourselves on here in the land of Psuedo-Stepford. I even volunteered to donate some cakes to a cake walk. could you just puke???

yeah.


oh well. I'll report in again after the in-laws get here and I'm needing a pit-stop from all the nascar talk.

Winners, Losers, and some good drunk fun

hey gang....

so it would appear that Elvis actually rose from the grave to claim a cze-bingo. I'd say that maybe just maybe this might get him to blog again, but I doubt that. oh well. he still wins.

see it here for yourself.... BIG X... right there atcha.




As far as losers.... I'm talking to the American Idol voters who let Mandisa leave last night. I mean... I'm not talking TOO much, cause you know MY cheap ass didn't vote... but I was sad to see her go. She's a beautiful girl with a great voice. I wish her well. If I ever get into Gospel music, I'll totally buy one of her CDs. but actually, no... I would listen to her sing some other stuff, too. but not now. cause I'm too cheap to buy a CD.


now... I KNOW I caught your attention with the 'good drunk fun' part of the title.
y'all know I love me some Hänni-pants. She and those crazy kids at the Haus are having an American Idol Finale Party, and YOU (well, ME, but now YOU, cause I'm telling you about it!) get to vote for which drink Hänni will consume in mass quantities at the AI Finale Party!!! FUN!!!!


Each week the Drink with the lowest number of votes will be eliminated, until one drink is left, and no one is left standing. Genious, these people are, I swear! There's even a nifty little button you can get... though personally, I'm holding out for the t-shirt.

Anyways... this kinda gives me joy being that I'm still doing the lent thing. I sure as heck didn't give up getting OTHER people to drink for Lent!!! SO go vote.

ok.. the sidebar needs updating, but my laundry needs attention, too. clothes win out; look for sidebar changes later.

The best part of waking up

ok.... so I have to tell you... last night really SUCKED for me sleep-wise.


Rhena had a very off-day yesterday... between not enjoying her swim class (I know.. tell me about it... I actually checked her label to make sure she was really her) NOT NAPPING

AT ALL.


ALL. DAY.


to a very fitful night... she was just oh-eff-eff OFF. SO all night, she was randomly letting out whimpers and cries. errrg.

so I have the turets-like-crying going on over the monitor to my left, and damnit to hell, troy was snoring like a motherfucker last night to my right.

in between these musical interludes of WAHHHH! -kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss.... kkkkkkkkuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhh (you get the idea) I had the craziest dream.

First of all, I was in some brokeback mountain setting where I was an insurance salesman. but the insurance was only a sell when you reeled out the cord from your ear piece to the ipod and were able to pull it back in without the ear piece falling out. hmmm, and I got extra money if I could get them to fit into a size 12 pair of courderoys. I dunno... it was a war time, and Tony Soprano's wife was taking over.. or at least being more in charge of family affairs, so all I knew was I had to get them to put on the courderoys.


so yeah.. wake up again to hear rhena cry out, and troy cutting down logs. nudge troy, tell him to shhhh and stop snoring, and realize rhena's really ok, and is already back to sleep. dozed off in the middle of nudging troy trying to get him to stop snoring again.


Back in la la land... I'm in a parking garage, on my way out so I can order some manicotti, cause it was a long night at the club. Well, as I walk to my harley, I notice that the guy parked behind me is shoveling up a dead body into his car. He doesn't realize that the body is scooping is going to be used int he manicotti filling per Tony's orders, nor does he apparently know that I know what's up, cause next thing I know, I'm busting ass to get out of the garage before he can follow me.

SO this long chase ensues, and I end up back in my parent's garage, and I don't get the garage door shut before the guy comes barreling into the driveway. somehow I make it into the house, which has now apprently become a meat packing plant to support the italian sauce industry. But I guess the guy is mad and confused because the dead body should be mixed in with the sauce and not with the white creamy ricotta filling.

I guess at this point, he's either a different guy, or he's not trying to kill me anymore, cause I end up explaining to him that HIS dead body was mushy, so it had to go in the manicotti (I know it's the ricotta, but in my dream we were calling it the manicotti) and anyways, if it went into the meat sauce that would just be gross.


~~~~~~~

At this point, I wake up and it's about 5am, and rhena's really crying. I went and got her, sushed her down and brought her back into our bed. she slept that last hour with us, quietly, in my arms like a newborn.

It's amazing how one hour with your child can give you all the rest or energy you need for a whole day. In that last hour, I probably didn't sleep, but I was in a lullaby of her warmth and short breaths nonetheless.

and when I opened my eyes to see her so at peace.. so content, so innocent....

well.. THAT was the best part of waking up.

Another Weener!!!

ok, ok... It's time for me to get off my fingers and declare Susie a

BIG WINNER!!!

I have a feeling my stat tracker has gone up a few hits these past two days cause she keeps checking on when her glory will be announced... so without further delay...


throw ya hands up for Suser....

There it is, in all it's glory.. the INNER SANCTUM!!!


Congrats to Susie; and again to Marianna... who has been patiently waiting for the rest of you to call something so she can get her damn prize!

I feel so catholic right now I can hardly stand it.