Oh what a night!!!

late december back in 63.....


ok, sorry. got distracted there for a minute.


what I mean to say is... bunco was quite the night. QUITE. THE. NIGHT.


hmmmm.... what do you mean, "quite the night"???


well... let's just say that when all was said and done (or should I say ATE and DRANK)... one of our Bunco Girls found it completely necessary to throw up ALL OVER MY HOUSE.

yes... I said it.

THROW UP.

ALL

OVER

MY HOUSE.


ALL OVER!!!!!

ok... I think you get the point... but let me assure you that whatever you're imagining... it was worse. cause it was IN MY HOUSE. Did I mention that it was on the walls and all over the floors? nothing was spared... closets, doors, floors, walls, bathroom rugs... uggg.

My dear friend twinkie made a comment after all was cleaned up (which.. btw... both my friends Ilana and Maria stayed and helped me clean up all the vomit. anyone knows that a friend will help you when you're puking.. but a TRUE friend will help you clean up someone ELSE'S puke.. just because it's in your house. yes.. TRUE friends indeed)

anyways.. Ilana made the comment that my house was like Showtime at the Apollo... so now the casa de Fever has been dubbed "The Apollo". I like it. pretty fitting. I mean seriously.. there's always SOMETHING going on here... and usually set to music. not quite barnum and bailey, you see... but definitely more than the Cleaver's on a weeknight.

so "the Apollo" it is.


kinda makes you want to run right out and join a bunco group, huh????

dang meringue

so tomorrow... I'm hosting bunco. you know... stepford's version of a girls' night IN. sure.. there's a dice game somewhere in the evening... but I'm all about the hosting. something about throwing a party just makes me happy.


food, drinks... and gossip. lots of drunk housewives running their traps and eating too much. good times!!!

of our group of 16 ladies... three that I know of are celebrating their birthdays this month, so I declared this month's theme of bunco to be Birthday. *IF* I have the time tomorrow, I plan on making a soundtrack for the evening, and presenting the birthday girls with a copy as a gift. that, and birthday cake martinis. I think I've got the mark on the chocolate cake ones (though my mom didn't care for it... but I thought it was good)... I still need to play with the vanilla ones. (I'll take pictures)


food to be served includes balsamic chicken drumettes, grilled japanese eggplant salad, sweet potato fries with an herb salt and garlic mayo dip (all from the same Everyday Italian episode) , and a veggie platter with another herb dip. Sweets include berries on a cloud and assorted chocolates for the game tables.

so yeah... doing my prep work now. marinating, making the meringue discs, and mixing my dips so the herbs can 'set'. and trying to avoid mowing down previously mentioned assorted chocolates for the tables.

ok... I'm officially hungry now. pardon me while I go chew on my hands.

Men in Skirts

It's not that I *WANT* to be drunk in the House of Blues in Chicago listening to Gaelic Storm.... but right now.... watching them in hi-def on the monster TV, with that damn coffee finally kicking in....

right now.. I'm feeling my Irish roots.

happy belated St Patty's Day, gang!!!!

coffee magic

yeah. it's 8:38pm,and I'm drinking coffee. dumb dumb dumb.... but what else is new?


a lonnnng time ago, when I was hitting the sauce regularly, coffee had a way of eveloping me in its warmth and making me feel sleepy. I didn't question WHY a large coffee with about a pound of sugar in it would mke me feel tired, cause I've been known to get jittery from nyquil and pass out while popping dayquil. I just chalked it up to the Polish blood in me, and figured things just ad an opposte effect on my system.

however... since the first child was cut out of me.. coffee does to me what it's supposed to... and that's help me survive. I mean stay awake.

(note to self... I'm currently not feeling very awake after downing this big ole mug of Joe... but then again.. I'm watching the Grease auditions on NBC... that could have something to do with my lack-of-alertness??)


------------

hmmm... it is now 9:06pm. the Moose is finally quiet. or not. rats.

and people wonder why I never bog anymore.

I'll Stop the World

Gotta stop my stopping in blogging to say that one of my dear friends finally had her baby.

Granted, the baby came BEFORE her due date, but still...


a sincere and hearty congratulations to my friend Jodes on the birth of her daughter, Zoe.

Jody and her husband are the kind of couple that makes you so happy that they are able to and DO procreate. they're good people, and not only does the world shine a little brighter when they're around... but the future looks a little better, too. Sure, I give her a bunch of shit cause she's got that whole "I'm from Brooklyn and can make my own food cause I'm all organic and shit" vibe to her... but I'm from Jersey and my body runs on processed food, so it's just my insecurities of how she can look so good without ever using aqua net in her life...


but SERIOUSLY.... I love her. she's good stock, and I'm oh so very happy that Zoe is here. Next up is Susie... but I'll talk about that later.


so anyways.... how the hell are you, blog-world??? is anyone still even out there?

as for me.. things have been quite busy. for a while, it was a bad kind of busy... filled with sickness and too many trips to the doctors' and hospitals... but now it's the good kind of busy again.

spring has sprung here in stepford, and as the flowers are blooming, so are my kids. Danny is HUGE. seriously. frigging aych-you-gee-eee HUGE. Rhena is... well, she is amazing. her brain goes on and on like her legs, and every day she makes me laugh myself silly and hold on for dear life as she pushes me to the brink of mental breakdowns. she is two. oh BOY is she two. but that's a good thing, Martha.


I feel like I have so much to say.... especially along the lines of where the hell and why have I been gone so long. in part, I think I had to dig in deep and find my way out of my post-partum funk. having the second child really put the screws to my daily routine and what I formally understood to be my life. I feel that now, just past danny being here for 3 months... that I'm starting.. just now STARTING to get a handle on things.

you see, when it comes to cleaning.....I have a bad habit of scooping things up, and shoving them in a box or bag, then 'hiding' said box from the public... usually into a closet somewhere. so while it looks like my house is in order... my closets will go toe-to-toe for any haunted house out there.

so I guess without being TOO-too wordy... (I know.. too late) you can say I was kinda cleaning out the closets the past few months. My girlfriend Jennifer calls it 'secret cleaning'. you know.. when you're cleaning up stuff that nobody really ever sees... like your underwear drawers, or your tupperware cubbord... or my brain.

so anyways... I guess I'm back. although... my folks are currently visiting, so I'm really not online that much. so I'll be scarce for another week or so.

but yeah.. I think I'm back. I mean.. is IS the season of Idol right now... and Paula is too annoying for me NOT to be blogging.



SO!! until next time, which will be much sooner than the last time.... peace out!

calling in "sick"

ok. January's over.


unfortunately, the colds that have been running rampant through my, Rhena and Danny's bodies is NOT over... so I'm calling in sick.


I will post again soon... cause after a month off, you KNOW I got stuff to blab about.


but for now... I'm heading straight for the tissue box and praying the kids don't wake up for at least another half hour. Momma Fever needs a break.

Closed for Rennovations

Happy New Year, everyone.


Here at the Fever, we've noticed a slow decline in the quality of the management as well as the overall appearance and frequency of blog posts. To serve you better, we've decided to take a temporary hiatus from the internet while we make some changes. Rest assured, all is well in real life; it's just needing a little more attention than it's been getting lately.

I will continue to visit and comment at other sites, and I will still post some pictures over at the photoblog.... but for now.... there will be no new content for at least the month of January.

Thanks for your patience during this time, and may you all be off to a wonderful 2007.

A new month

well... we did it. everyone here in Johnsonville survived Danny's first month on the outside.

I think the hormones are balancing out; I feel less and less depressed-slash-pessimistic about my personal appearance, my capabilities as a functioning human, and pretty much life in general.


The floors still aren't done, and the world hasn't stopped... go figure. Sure... I'm still cringing... but I've been thinking more about what Rhena's face will be like this year when she gets to open about a gagillion presents from Santa and family members....


As for Danny... my little moosey.... he's great. he still doesn't sleep much, and he constantly eats... but he hasn't peed or jet-rocket-pooped on me in quite a while, so he's currently on my good side.

Rhena continues to amaze me. the things that she says and does crack us up regularly, and though I still watch her like a hawk when she's around the baby... her intentions towards him are nothing but loving.


I had the distinct pleasure of celebrating Chanukah with my Twinkie last night. We all went to her house for dinner. The main course was Latkas and Brisket, and I think I gained about 5 pounds. Not sure if I mentioned it or not, but Twinkie was a professional opera singer, so to hear her sing while lighting the Menorah was a truly moving experience for me. I felt very blessed to be sharing in her family's traditions.

I come from a family rich in traditions, so I'm big on learning about what other people do. Now that I'm a mom and our family is complete, I'm trying to figure out the balance of incorporating traditions that Troy and I grew up with as children into OUR children's lives... but also trying to start some new ones.

This year I took Rhena and Danny to a pottery place and had Rhena paint some ornaments. Danny was SUPREMELY pissed off when I painted his foot blue to imprint the ornament, but I think he's over it now. I think as the years go by and their ornament collection grows, it'll be a nice activity to look forward to each year. At least for now *I* look forward to doing it again, and since they can't drive yet... they'll be doing it again next year. hah!


what are YOUR traditional schticks for this time of year?

Mirror Mirror

So I've noticed lately that I am NOWHERE in the same ballpark of looking at myself and seeing what other people see.

I think I have a decent grasp of who I am and what my capabilities are. I know I'm an attractive person with a normally great personality (hormonal breakdowns not withstanding). I know I'm not, nor will probably ever be one of those HOT MOMS you see on tv or in certain web circles. but again.. I do ok, and most days I would venture to say I'm not painful to look at, nor am I causing secret laughing fits of the general populous.

As a mom, I also feel I'm doing ok. Rhena is healthy and happy, and for the most part, a delightfully well-tempered and mild-mannered polite little girl. But then again, she's two, so that could change in a few years. As for Danny... well, I haven't dropped him yet, and I manage to keep up on his diaper changing, feedings and bathing.

As a wife... well.. let's just say Troy's been getting the short end of the stick lately. he does get dinner cooked every night and he has yet to run out of clean clothes to wear... and he'll get the occasional foot-rub as a bonus at the end of a long day... but that's about all.

but yet... I have to be honest and tell you I feel like I'm really falling short lately. I regularly find myself feeling unaccomplished and distracted, as well as frustrated for the lack of things I seem to not be getting done. plus my hardwoods are so disgustingly filthy it makes me cringe to think of it.

Again.. just being honest. I feel for the most part I'm doing OK...but ok has been feeling like a failure lately. Well, definitely at least not enough. So lately, when I have been communicating my feelings of failure to some friends, I am met with cheers of how great I'm doing and how I'm being too hard on myself.

So this makes me wonder.... am I REALLY being that unreasonable? I appreciate the sentiments my friends slather on me, and I understand that all support is well-intended. I do, after all, have wonderful, generous and supportive friends (both inside and out) and I would say it's just their loving nature that causes them to say what they do.

but in the same token.... back to me wondering.... have their standards dropped??? have their expectations or opinions of my capabilities been hampered such that me showering and leaving the house is REALLY a cause for celebration?

Perhaps no one wants to be the one picking on the post-partum chick... and I imagine fucking with a hormonally unstable woman probably isn't the best idea, so I can't really blame anyone for not giving me some tough love... but still.

In some probably sadistic way, I think maybe it would be nice to hear that yeah... I DID drop the ball majorly, and I DO need to step up my game a little. I mean... nobody gets better being told they're perfect all the time, right? not that I'm being told I'm perfect... but being told all the time how I'm exceeding all normal expectations isn't giving me any incentive to do better.

Granted, I fully recognize that if NO ONE was telling me I was doing a good job, I would still probably feel like an unaccomplished piece of shit... so perhaps this is a moot point.

i'm lucky to have the support network that I do, and appreciate the way my loved ones try to boost my morale and make me feel better about myself. But I also appreciate the girl in the mirror who isn't complacent just getting by every day. I just wish that the messages I've been getting from each lately weren't so opposite of one another.

The week that wouldn't end

sometimes, especially when you're a raging post-partum bag of hormones, you have a bad day.


sometimes... those bad days are really only a few shitty events in the morning that set your mood to foul for the rest of the day. I seem to be a master of those kind of days. Even back in my swingin' single days... I can recall waking up late, slightly hungover, only to find that my period had unexpectedly arrived and ruined a super-cute pair of underwear, and... well... you get the point.

And now... well, now that I'm married and the parent of two other beings, I'm four times as likely to have shitty events, cause there's my OWN propencity to welcome misfortune, and as well as the likelihood of Troy, Rhena and/or Danny being in a bad mood and passing it on to me.


So with that in mind... trust me when I tell you this week doesn't seem like it will ever end. cause you know... SOMETIMES you get hit upside the head with shitty events for four days in a row.

and that's the catch you see. cause while I WANT this week to just be over already.. (cause trust me when I tell you this has been one humdinger of a week for me) yes, while I want the week to just be over, I then realize that we're one week closer to Christmas, and I think of all the things that aren't done yet and I start to breathe funny and sweat.

Come to think of it, since becoming pregnant, I've been spending a lot of time on that emotional fence. I often find myself just surviving by repeating the mantra of this only just being a phase, and how it shall too soon pass, whatever the "this" or 'it' may be.

and just as suddenly as our house can turn into an utter screaming chaos, I find myself wrapped in a moment of wonder and accord and I find myself wishing I could freeze time.

oh well. 'tis the season, right?

A Week(end) moment

so I'm taking advantage of the fact that Troy's home from work and I'm allowing myself to be online.

so I guess while I'm here, I ought to say out loud that it's Troy's birthday. not that it really matters to most of you... but here in our house, it's another official occasion for Rhena to sing happy birthday, and for me... well, it's another reason to eat cake.


so happy birthday to Troy. bring on the cake!


ps... new pics are on the photoblog, including some of the newest Johnson.

We interrupt this regularly scheduled silence

... just letting you know that I really have nothing to talk about.

we've been in survival mode lately.... and while that's going fine by most counts... it's pretty exhausting.

I've begun to adjust to the humungo TV, as well as very little sleep and the GINORMOUS milk cans that have replaced my once-oh-so-cute boobs. Though I must make a point of noting how being adjusted to something and actually LIKING something are two different things. well.. maybe not so much the TV. I'm starting to like it. expecially since my blind ass can pretty much watch it now without glasses, the screen is so freaking big!


my head has been residing in a place somewhere between up my ass and in the quiet fog of sleep deprivation... so I pretty much have been unable to finish complete sentences lately. I do much better in the morning after my mug of cold coffee, but I could just be so far gone that I only THINK I'm doing better when in actuality, the caffiene is just making me talk FASTER, so it seems like I'm actually saying more.


but yeah. it's friday, and I made it through my first whole week (5 days) of 2 kids by myself. wow.. just writing that makes me tired. but still... five days. and no one got hurt! not a bad start, if I do say so myself.

alrighty... I'm off to do things that I only dare to dream about when both kids are awake. you know.. like EAT, and use the bathroom.


have a great weekend, gang!

Coming up for Air

well, every once in a while here at the Fever, I like to talk about stuff that's completely NOT related to babies.

today needs to be one of those days. I'd tell you why, but then I'd be talking about babies, and we're not doing that today.


SO ANYWAYS.... things have been trucking right along in these here parts. In a post-partum moment of despair, I pointed to the TV section of the Best Buy ads that comes in the Sunday paper. Needless to say, by merely showing the faintest interest in TVs, I opened a floodgate I soon would not be able to contain. In all actuality, though, I think those floodgates would have been bum-rushed even if I was in the same room as Troy and the ads at the same time. (Yes.. Troy is THAT bad.... remember the ooh-ooh-gotta-go-to-the-world-series fiasco a little while back?)

so floodgates were opened, nay I say Pandora herself was up my ass with her box of despair, and there was no going back. So Troy got his TV. oh, excuse me, WE got the TV... I forgot. It's a gift for BOTH of us. yeah. whoopity do.


so since we have this behemoth monster in our living room now, we decided it was time to get caught up on the netflix movies that have been kicking around. After three failed attempts in the hospital to watch "road to Guantanamo", we decided to just return it. I don't think troy made it past the first 5 minutes of any time it was on.

we've seen Primer, which I think I would have liked better if, you know.. I was a rocket scientist or something. oh wait. I WAS one. strike that. make it enjoyable if I had a PhD in mathmephysics or something. I mean, it was a good movie, but whoa. some of that shit was way deep.

another decent to good rating for a movie would go to I am David. It ranged from cute to heart-wrenching, and definitely made me think of how appreciative I am for the way things are here in Johnsonville.

Lastly... we wasted two hours of our lives this weekend watching Silent Hill. (not even putting a link cause I don't want to be associated in any way to that crap) I can NOT even begin to go off about how sucky this movie was. Granted, there were some cool special effects, but jeepers, batman, if they spent just a FRACTION of their special effects budget on better writers or better actors... well, I suppose it would have still sucked. yeah, it was THAT bad.

it's a shame, too. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or perhaps my criteria is too high, but I really haven't found a good horror flick lately. I mean, there are some really good (read disturbing) movies out there that border on slightly plausible that make you think... but it seems all the horror flicks just run by a shade of hokey anymore.

Now when I was younger, I'll definitely say Freddy Krueger had me jumping once or twice. now when I watch the movie, I laugh. Have we become a society TOO reliant on good special effects? I dunno, cause it seems as if nowadays the more special effects I see, then less scary something is?

My all-time favorite scary movie is the Exorcist. Not only did it have the holy-fuckernuts shock factor, it also grapples with the possibility of being able to happen. well, for me it did, but that's just cause I go to church and Ouiji boards freak me out.

but the point is.. how OLD is that movie? surely there is a good (read scary) movie out there that's been released within the past ten years?

so get to it, gang.... leave me a comment and suggest a movie. I'm looking for scary ones, but I'll take other good movie hints as well.

peace out.. I'm off to take care of things I'm not talking about today!

will you still love me?

when I'm 34????


yeah. today's my birthday. holy crappernuts. I'm 34, and the mom of 2 kids. I swear if anyone asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be in 10 years, I doubt I'd answer that I'd be sitting on the couch watching my two year old daughter pour water from her cup onto her head and praying that the grunting from my less-than-two-weeks-old-son is really just the result of him pooping, and not the onset of another demand to be milked yet again.


But I'm here now, and all things considered, it's not so bad.


yesterday was a pretty random post, but that's kinda how things have been flowing around here.


BUT... today is my birthday, and for all intents and purposes, it's the beginning of a new year for me. I'm excited for what the new year will bring for the fever.... both the knowns and unknowns.


I know for sure that this month will be busy, what with the new baby, visitors, Christmas, then Danny's Baptism on the 30th. Springtime will see my students and my very own Godchild celebrating their first Communion (trip to new jersey with two kids... whooo-boy!)

there will be potty training of Rhena, there will be first words and first everything elses with Danny.

there will be feeble (but hopefully successful) attempts for me to lose weight and get into a shape other than 'flubby'.


and a whole lot more. shit, I may even do another template one of these days.

but for now, I'll just leave that one in the category of 'unknowns' and enjoy the day. or at least enjoy the cupcakes that are about to come out of the oven. Can't go wrong with a little cupcake action on the birthday.

happy december, gang!

what a week

dear internet....


sorry I haven't been around lately. turns out being a parent of two kids is harder than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong... I'm enjoying the hell out of my babies.... it's just... well.... it's a little exhausting.


My hormones have been in high gear, so take everything you read here with a grain of salt.


this past week has been very busy. there have been many firsts, with highlights including being peed on by Master Daniel, and the very next day being the target of a jet-stream of mustard-colored clotted cream from my darling boy's ass.

I experienced my first emotional breakdown on Saturday (a whole week earlier than it took me to break down with rhena!) and I also had my first post-partum poop.

There have been very very dark moments when I sincerely doubted my ability to survive the day, much less the next 18+ years.

I weeped with sorrow that Danny and Rhena were getting royally screwed with my parenting skills, cause how in hell am I going to balance my time between two children and basic personal hygeine?

There have been times during this past week that I wanted to divorce troy, others still that I wanted to cause him bodily harm. Those moments were fleeting, though, and definitely outnumbered by the times I wondered how everyone else in the world is surviving without Troy as their husband.

my breasts have become freakishly large. and scabbed, and yeah.. every time Danny's nursing, it feels like someone is trying to staple my nipple to sandpaper. over and over and over again.

I fought back tears as I said goodbye to my parents on monday morning. but inside I was scared. scared of how in hell I was going to manage without their safety net. scared.... but ready.

I have become obsessed with my weight and size of my stomach. not healthy, I know, but I can't help it. I'm not going to starve myself or anything, because let's face it.. I'm constantly hungry and I love food way too much. I do know I need to stop being so hard on myself. it's only been 9 days, I know.... but still. my stomach is distracting.

but not all is doom and gloom. There have been moments of pure bliss this past week, too. holding both of my children and knowing there is nothing but pure love in my arms is something I try to do several times a day.

Hearing Danny's quiet wheeze as he sleeps next to me has got to be close to what heaven sounds like. but I could be biased.


friends, family and neighbors have been SO generous. there has been a steady arrival of gifts, both large and small. we as a family feel very loved. I as an individual feel beyond blessed.

and I HAVE managed to shower every day. I may not be sleeping much, but at least I feel clean.




anyways. there you have it. sort of. I'm giving myself another week or two before I expect the fog to clear slightly and I swear pictures are coming.

We did it

well.. we all survived his first day.


who's that? oh yeah.. HIS first day!


That would be Daniel Richard, our new not-so-little little boy.


Eventually I'll get around to telling you about how I made a complete ASS of myself talking when on lots of drugs, and how I threw up like it was my job in the operating room. I imagine I'll be spending future days pondering about how LARGE my son's ball sack seems in comparison to his tiny tiny little penis, and just how difficult it really is to clean said genital area when covered in a mucous-based tar-colored shit.

(for those of you who aren't in the know, like I wasn't in the know a few days ago... might I suggest taking a walnut, dipping it in blackish green latex paint, and using a papertowel to wipe clean. Add screaming child who maintains continuous ability to stick own feet in his own still-covered-in-shit-asscrack, and now you know the experience of cleaning up Danny's diaper...)

but like I said... there's time for that later.


Right now, I'm here to say that it was all worth it. the puking, the cramping, the stress, the more puking, the pebble shits, and everything. I'm completely in love, and while I'm still slightly nervous about how it's going to be to raise a boy into a good man like his father.... I absolutely can't imagine if he was a she.

It's a...new BABY!

Well it's the day we've been waiting for! Carrie went into labor on her own last night (woohoo just like she really really wanted) around 11pm.

They got to the hospital around 1am...

and around 3am...

DANIEL RICHARD

was pulled into the world!

The big guy weighed in at 9 lbs and 21 1/2" long.

No wonder she was so sick - he was taking up every available inch of space in there! I'll post more details when they're available...but for now...

VERY BIG and HEARTFELT CONGRATULATIONS to Carrie and Troy and Rhena!!

And Welcome to the Fever, Danny!

-Susie

The Countdown

well, we're getting close to the 24-hours-to-go mark.


funny... I've had 2 weeks to prepare, and by every definition I'm ready, but today I have a list of shit to do?


I guess it's different when preparing to 'go at any time' vs. knowing you're leaving at such and such time.


today I'm feeling inclined to finally address and send all the thank you's from the afternoon tea that was thrown in my honor 100 years ago.

I'm going through shutterfly and making sure all the albums have been sent to the inlaws

e-mailing some people

making sure my DVR is going to record the office and Grey's and Medium while we're in the hospital (god forbid I miss a tv show!!)

some of rhena's laundry, so "Gamma" and "Hoo-Hoo" don't have to go in search of clean PJ's this week, or be doing laundry on the day we come home with the new baby.

gotta switch Rhena's car seat form my car to my dad's car, just in case they need to take her anywhere while we're gone.


what else? oh.... eat everything in sight cause I'm not allowed any food or water after midnight tonight. (yeah.. that should make me just a real peach tomorrow morning)



I dunno what else to say, internet. I mean, I DO... I have like a jillion thoughts in my head as far as wonders and fears for how this will all turn out... not the cutting open business... just the whole "holy shit we're gonna have 2 kids" thoughts....


but for now, there's things to cross off my list, and time to be spent with Rhena.



oh. in case I don't post again today... everyone be on your best behavior. Susie's going to be a guest blogger tomorrow to let y'all know the details of the One Within. I want everyone to give her a warm and appreciative welcome, ok?

ok. til the next time....

One day closer

every day that passes that I don't go into labor is just one day closer to Tuesday.


I'm happy to have our 'drop birth' date (I was gonna say 'drop dead' date, but that just doesn't sound appropriate here)

Tuesday seems far enough away that anything CAN still happen, but yet close enough that I'm not going to kill any neighbors cause it's too far away.

Now, looking back at the fact that my due date was November SEVENTH, I can't help but shake my head and wonder what's up. Is there something inherently wrong with me that I can't do this? I mean, over the course of nine+ months, you'd think the netherlands would have gotten the memo.... but apparently not?

Then on the other hand... I can't say I really mind, either. sure... right now I'm big as a fucking house, and moving around is a bit uncomfortable... but the puking has been at bay for THREE WEEKS as of tomorrow. This is beyond phenomenal for me... I mean, what a nice way to go out!

and of course there's that huge part of my brain that says... no labor = no pain... so putting off just one more day (for the past two weeks) has worked out ok, too.

But I'm ready. ready to meet the One Within... ready to see Rhena's face when she meets her little brother or sister for the first time.... ready to see Troy hold our child.... the one we made for all the right reasons.

SO I'm going to bed smiling tonight... knowing that even if tonight goes by without rushing to the hospital... tomorrow I'll wake up and be one more day closer.

A word from our Sponsor

hello world.

it's me, the baby. no... I'm not really typing this, but I probably could, based on how gestationally old I am already.


I wanted to tell you a few things about how shit's rolling here in the womb, so you can understand why I really haven't fealt like coming out.


first of all... it's nice and warm in here. I keep hearing mommy talk about a cold front coming through outside (supposed to get into the 50's in the next few days) so I'm in no hurry to deal with that. in here, it's all summer, all the time. me likes the balmy weather, ya dig?


Second..... I am WELL FED in here. I've been getting a constant stream of chocolate flavored fluid for the past 9 months (give or take a week and a half) and lemmee tell you... its GOOD!!!! I keep hearing mumble jumble about stuff called MILK... but unless it's brown and served with banana bread, over ice cream, or helping me wash down these things called BROWNIES I keep hearing about... I'll take what's on the menu in here.


Also, I don't know if mommy mentioned this yet, but by the sound of things, I'm a pretty big baby. (about 8 pounds 12 ounces??) Now, I'm no doctor, but if any of you have seen a woman's tidget before... they're not too big. Well.. at least mommy's isn't from what I can see from in here. Now... for all of YOU trying to imagine what *I'm* being expected to do.. I want you to run out to your nearest golf course and try to ram your head into the nineth hole. IF you can get your head through without looking like a conehead... go on ahead and see if the rest of your body fits through to the other side, will ya? then get back to me and let me know how you did it, cause the other day I was hanging out in here and some doctor lady with gloves was knocking on my door, and could barely fit her finger through my door. people.. lemme tell you.. until I see some decent sun light, I ain't goin NOWHERE.


now with all you folks out there encouraging mommy to try castor oil or sex.... shut the hell up, will you???? the idea of my mom and dad having sex TOTALLY grosses me out... and ewwww.... being right THERE for it? SICK! Also.. that crapping thing sounds like a bad idea. Mom may be a woman, but she ain't no lady when it comes to the hind quarters, if you get my drift. also, I've been kept awake for probably at least 6 months worth of hours during my stay here listening to her intestines. they're a very mean place, and I've done my best not to piss them off while I'm here. Rumor on the inside here is that they are very violent, and given the 31 weeks of puking I witnessed.... let's not stir the pot, ok?


anyways.. that's about all for now. I'm comfortable, and know I have a ride set for Tuesday. If things start to suck in here, I promise I'll come out sooner, but in the meantime... just cheer for Michigan against Ohio tomorrow. Thought it would be nice for Daddy to be in a good mood, too.


peace out, and see you on the flip side, gang...

The One Within