oiy.
I think I'm getting a hang of this motherhood thing. For the first time that I'm consciously aware of... I have a sneaking suspicion that something is wrong with Moosey. sure, the constant inconsolable crying is a big hint, but let's talk about one thing at a time.
The past two nights have been a rough time here at the Apollo. THANKFULLY.. Rhena has been fine. Other than the fact that it seems to be Bloody Nose season again, she has actually been a joy. so hooray for that.
Danny, however... not as good. VERY irritable, hasn't been eating as much, hasn't been napping as much, (forget about night-time sleeping either.. the last two nights he's been training for the Fidget Olympics....) all in all, he's been a pissed off little boy who wants to be held and tries to break free the minute you pick him up. Laying him down has been a bad idea, too. Honestly, I'd keep him upright in his exersaucer all damn day if I wasn't afraid he's konk his head on one of the attached toys.
Add in a boogery nose, and I'm thinking this may actually be an ear infection. I gave him some Motrin twice yesterday, and shortly thereafter he actually calmed down a little. SO!! today at 8:30, I'll be calling our pediatrician to give her the symptoms and see what to do next.
It's weird... Rhena was never sick, but this Moose of mine... he's putting me through the ringer! (ok.. so technically, this would only be the second time he's getting sick, but compared to rhena's once-in-two-and-a-half-years... this twice in less than 5 months business is ringer material.)
so all in all.. it makes me wonder. is Danny really just more prone to getting sick cause he's the second born? because rhena is secretly putting germs in his mouth when I'm not looking? Maybe am *I* becoming a better parent and am more in tune to what is healthy and non-healthy behaviors?
I mean, really... I think back to rhena's first few months... and there were a LOT of times that I just figured she was generally pissed off and I was a complete idiot as a parent cause I couldn't make her happy. Maybe she was sick back then? I don't know.
oh well. water under the bridge now, right? Only a few more minutes and I can call the doc. like I said, I'm imagining that they're going to say he has an ear infection. In which case, I imagine it's going to be another round of 'wait it out'.
ok... so the diet.
It's been a week now, and I have to say that my strategy of TOTALLY pigging out on chips ahoy last week so I was fatty mc big-big for my first weigh-in paid off.
I had a weigh-in today; my first since starting this blasted change to my life. in the one week since starting the diet.. I have lost 6 pounds!!
can I get an "awwwww schniggity!!!" ????
yeah yeah.. I'm happy, but I'm also being realistic. This was probably just a one-time thing, and the rest of the weight is going to be a long slow battle.
but that's cool. I'll continue to (silently) count up my points until my stomach finally learns that it does NOT need 6 strips of maple-flavored bacon to survive on the weekends. or cheetos. or cupcakes. Ok.. the cupcakes might be a hard sell.. but you know what I mean.
Happy weekend, gang!!! Stay tuned next week when I'm SURE to have a crowd pleaser with "why my body looks like skin-covered jell-o".....
so I'm sloooooowly trying to get this blog organized. not that it could ever REALLY be organized, cause after all.. this is a reflection of my brain, and anyone who's anyone knows what a mess THAT is!!!!
anyways.. I'm trying to do that categorizing thing for all my back posts. I figure that with every new post I create, I ought to go back and at LEAST find 'homes' for 2 older posts. and eventually, I'll get my favorite links back up on the sidebar. Of course, EVENTUALLY I'll get a full night's sleep, too... but let's not be talking crazy talk, shall we??
so yeah. yesterday was Easter. we had Twinkie and her husband and son over for dinner which was really nice. I called it an East-over dinner, being that they're Jewish, and still working the Passover action til sundown tonight. Being as good a friend as I can be.. I looked up rules for keeping Kosher (no pork!!! no dairy on meats!!! no flour!!!) and came up with a dish that they could eat while troy and I gorged ourselves on ham, kielbasa and pierogies.
(did I mention that when my folks were here we made 31 dozen pierogies???? probably not, cause that was during the 'time of silence' at the Fever... anyways.. we ate some, and daaaammmnnn they are good!!!)
So it was a nice day. the kids ran around like nuts outside looking for eggs in our uncut grass. so glad when they reached down to pick up something that it actually WAS an egg, and not some southern-bred creature that lives in lawns that need mowing. I think the best part of the day was when the kids were sitting on the back porch, going through their eggs, and Rhena turns to Ross and said, "Happy Ass-over, Wahssie!" I think I got her on video saying it later. but too funny. happy ass-over.
On the subject of candy--- over the course of the day, Rhena ate entirely too much of it. actually, she ate entirely too much candy times TWELVE. cause seriously... the kid doesn't get much sweets. (artificial preservatives and a good helping of ice cream here and there maybe, but x-nay on the sugary shit)
But it being Easter.. we made an eggsception. (get it?? EGG-sception??? oh, I slay!) Granted... most of her basket was full of all things Thomas-related... but we did throw her a bone and gave up some goods. so by the time we even GOT to church... the first few pieces of PEZ had kicked in, and Rhena was to be damned if Thomas and Percy weren't coming in with us. fine fine.. you choose your battles, right???
anyways.. a jelly bean here, a pez candy there... and yes.. troy let her have chocolate. Add in the sheer delight of having company, and she was more wired than Thomas Edison.
a scream-fest ensued when she was told it was bed-time, and she insisted she couldn't go because she NEEDED more candy... pweeeeeeese???? (that was a no)
finally, after some prayers and songs and before she slipped into that sugar coma oh so deep.... she lolled her head to me and asked if we could "do easter again you think???"
yeah... we can do it again. Just maybe next year with a little less candy.
yeah... so ironically.... I celebrated my own little version of a Last Supper last night.
no... I'm not about to get crucified or anything... I just mean to say that last night was my last meal of gorging on meats and cheese with a side of more. (more meat and cheese and potatoes and junk and.. and... and...)
Yes... I have to admit it... my fat ass has started Weight Watchers.
today.
My starting weight was only 2.4 pounds above their published 'healthy' range for my height... but at 143.4.... I have to say it's about time I do something.
Now.. I WILL admit that although I wasn't hungry for them.. I DID knock back 4 chunky chips ahoy cookies (each cookie is approx 700 calories and like 30 grams of fat) AND I also took an extra spoonful of my homemade macaroni and cheese. This wasn't necessarily a 'last hurrah' kind of gorging... it was strategy, you see.
so I FIGURED if I stuffed myself to the bones and wore heavier clothing (I'm wearing cords today!) to the weigh-in... then THEORETICALLY... my very first weight in would be a devastatingly high number. SO HIGH, in fact, that it would be virtually IMPOSSIBLE for me to NOT have good results (read big weight loss) by next week's weigh-in.
I feel like I just won immunity this week on the Biggest Loser, and I'm setting myself up for a significant loss at the NEXT weigh-in so I can be above the yellow line!!
*chirp chirp* said the crickets as Carrie realizes she's gone on such a tangent that no one even gives a shit what she's saying anymore....
anyways... I've always rationalized that I look fine, and for someone in their mid-30's, I don't need to be super skinny. after all.. I'm a MOM now!!! I'm SUPPOSED to be soft, right???
maybe not so much.
So while I'm not so bad off that I'm COMPLETELY disgusted with myself and crying while looking in mirrors (strike that... I tried on a bathing suit the other day and was pretty grossed out by my rear view) ANYWAYS.... I think I need to drop 10-20 pounds. Not so much for the idea of being the magical weight of 125... but for feeling good about myself and being happy in a size 4 or 6.... not an 8 or 10 where I am now.
so now it's time for me to put up or shut up. I'm hoping by being honest about my standing weight (and not the 30 glorious seconds a day after I wake up, pee, take a crap and am naked on a scale that I clock in at 138.4) and stop blaming the doctor's office scale for being off, or my clothes for being heavy.... or one of the many many many other reasons why I justify some number for being ok even though it makes me puke a little in my mouth to hear someone tell me that THAT particular number is my weight....
anyways.. I'm hoping to find the real Cze-Johnson under all these thighs. you know the girl.... she's the one who swore she'd never ever EVER buy 'mom jeans'... especially for herself.
wish me luck! oh, and apologies in advance if I end up being a little bitchy in the next few weeks. Apparently, in addition to having loads of fat in each cookie... those Chips Ahoy bastids also put mild sedatives in every bite!
aaaaah.
nap time.
it's a beautiful thing, that nap time thing.
I'm sitting on Rhena's mini-couch in the corner of the living room, with the window open.. and no noises to be heard except the whir of the dishwasher and birds chirping outside. Of course.. this being stepford, you can also insert the sounds of a few lawnmowers, and children gaily playing in their lush green backyards. for shits and giggles, you can mentally dress them in knickers and call them Muffy and Biff (or Brock, Haley, or whatever 'name de jour' is being slutted around the latest Pottery Barn catalogue.....)
but no matter what's going on in YOUR imagined Stepford... absolutely NOTHING is going on here at the Apollo. even the inlaws are napping!! (btw.. my inlaws have been in town, which is why I haven't been blogging)
anyways.. I feel like I should be polishing silverware, or catching up with friends, or cleaning the floors or prepping dinner or something, but I'm not THAT stupid. I mean... quiet doesn't come easy around these parts, especially when company is here.
so I sit.
quietly.
and it's so so nice.
